The CAT is out of the bag

[Guest guest]

Dr SP sir,

 

Never got to see your 'humorous " avatar...while in Sewagram.

 

Hope to see more of it on this site.

 

Regards,

 

Ashok Bhaskar, 1984

 

Subject: Re: CAT has nine lives

To: mgims

Date: Thursday, November 5, 2009, 6:37 PM

 

Not in my next nine lives, I will be able to write something even close

to this.

Manoj Singh

____________ _________ _________ __

From: SP Kalantri <sp.kalantri@ gmail.com>

To: MGIMS e-group <mgimsyahoogroups (DOT) com>

Sent: Thu, November 5, 2009 1:54:22 PM

Subject: CAT has nine lives

Every few years, our CAT scan machine drops dead- only to purr again.

Bought about 10 years back, the machine has scanned about 20,000 heads,

chests and bellies. At times, for some inexplicable reasons, the CAT stands

still- a CATastrophic event in the hospital. And as engineers-flown from

Bangalore- lay their hands on the CAT that refuses to purr, we worriedly

watch which way the CAT will turn. “What is wrong with the CAT,†we want a

diagnosis from the the engineers but they do not seem to be in a mood to let

the CAT out of the bag.

“When the CAT is away, why can’t MRI play?†asks a patient. That would be

CATaclysmic choice of technology, we caution the patient. “How do we manage

head injuries without a CAT?†this time our surgeons test our patience.

“Don’t be a slave to technology. Use your clinical acumen to manage your

patients,†our loaded suggestion almost sets the CAT among pigeons. We

should have anticipated that- of all specialists, the surgeons like the

least someone telling them how to handle their patients.

How long will it take for CAT to walk again? What makes it gasp again and

again? Some patients repeatedly ask. “Don’t be so inquisitive. Don’t you

know that curiosity killed the CAT?â€we gently chide them. As the days roll

by, and engineers are unable to fix the problem, Radiology residents and

faculty begin to pace in their corridors like CATs walking on a hot tin

roof.

After several days, the engineers bring CAT back to life. The filament in

the machine was playing CAT and mouse with us, they tell us. The problem

fixed, our newly arrived neurosurgeon- sporting salt and pepper CAT

whiskers- grins like the Cheshire CAT. We experience a feeling of CATharsis.

And as we think of a well-deserved CAT nap, a resident asks, " will the CAT

drop dead again? " “Do not worry,†I whisper in his ears, “haven’t you

heard

that the CAT has nine lives?â€

SP