RE: Re: Sexual Satisfaction

[Guest guest]

,

and others,

I’d like to offer just a couple of

comments.

The first is a doctrinal/theological

one. I think one should go a bit

further than saying that NFP use to avoid pregnancy is “allowed.” Obviously, some couples won’t have

any need for it – in that sense, it’s true that one doesn’t “have

to” use it. But it’s

the teaching of the Church, in Gaudium et Spes, Humanae Vitae, and

elsewhere, that couples are to exercise “responsible

parenthood,” and that this means combining generosity and discernment/prudence. In the case of some couples, at some

times during their marriages, the needed discernment will reveal the existence

of serious reasons to avoid pregnancy for the time being. For these couples, I would say, the use

of NFP is probably a requirement of prudence and hence of responsible parenthood.

(I’d also note that, as I’ve

said before, “grave” in English means something stronger than the

Latin words used in HV and elsewhere do.

For the most part, in fact, the Latin word used is the one that has “serious”

as its English cognate. And even

the word that has “grave” as its cognate doesn’t mean what “grave”

does – it means a “weighty” reason as opposed to a mere “light”

one.)

The second is about the matter of “spontaneity.” Now, a caveat is in order. I’m a theologian – so I

think I have some expertise regarding the theological questions – but I’m

not married – so I have no expertise at all regarding the experiential

aspects of periodic abstinence.

That said, I’d like to begin by

pointing out that it’s my understanding that couples using NFP to avoid

pregnancy have intercourse nearly as often – or even as often – as do

couples who aren’t.

Of course, that might not be entirely the

same issue as the “spontaneity” one – it might be a question

not of how often, but of exactly when.

However, an analogy comes to mind that

might or might not be helpful – as I said, I don’t have the sort of

experience that would enable me to know with more assurance.

I’m thinking of the – fairly minimal

– requirements of Lenten fasting and abstinence. In particular, we’re now required

to practice “abstinence” from full meals and from snacks between

meals only on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. Furthermore, on the vast majority of

days of the year, I don’t eat between meals. And yet, it seems like every time one of

those two days out of 365 rolls around, I find myself feeling hungry after

lunch and a while before dinner.

In other words, there’s something

about the “enforced” lack of “spontaneity” on those days that

makes me want to eat when I almost certainly wouldn’t otherwise.

When couples find the abstinence entailed

by NFP to be a trial – could a similar dynamic be at work, at least

sometimes?

And if so, might recognizing

that dynamic help in dealing with it – as it does for me regarding snacks

on those two days?

Sexual

Satisfaction

I know there is a brochure out there stating how many

conjugal acts per month for NFP users versus contraception, but I can’t

put my finger on it. I have someone on the hook who is saying that he is

having a hard time not agreeing with couples (he’s a priest) that the

spontaneity is not quite the same with NFP.

Please help!

s, FCP

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