Interesting Asperger Article

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A Different Kind of Boy

For one autistic senior, the world operates on a different plane

A different kind of boy

Olivia Bevacqua, Managing Features Editor

4/27/2005

Each day at school, senior Mont eats lunch by himself in Room

310, three floors above the noise and chaos of the student cafeteria.

He has been eating the same lunch every day for the past 10 years: a

peanut butter and jelly sandwich, grapes, carrots and cookies. In the

quiet room, he pores over his math homework, sometimes smiling over a

particularly hard problem.

There are two floors between and the crowded cafeteria below,

but in many ways entire worlds separate him from the noisy students

on the first floor.

Senior Mont take a moment to look out the window during his

American Studies class. Click here to enlarge.

has Asperger's Syndrome, a high-functioning form of autism.

Asperger's is characterized by repetitive routines, peculiarities in

speech and socially or emotionally inappropriate behavior, according

to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke.

Children with Asperger's often have problems reading social cues;

some exhibit exceptional talent in a specific area.

Many people perceive autistic individuals to be severely

disadvantaged and isolated because of their condition. For 's

parents, adapting to their son's condition has caused them to realize

that though his world is often different from theirs, it comes with

its own set of advantages - and that autism is not a separate

characteristic of , but an important part of who he is.

A math wonder boy

spent four years trying to learn the meaning of a smile. His

teachers used flash cards to help him memorize different facial

expressions - a grin for joy and a frown for sadness. For five years,

specialists worked to teach him how to have a conversation. And yet

during these elementary school years, he raced through multiple

square roots and transcendental numbers, mastered concepts in

calculus and discovered shortcuts to equations that Harvard graduates

failed to find. figured out a complicated calculus problem. .

At first, 's teachers were reluctant to instruct him in social

skills, claiming he was merely a victim of uneven development. His

obvious talent seemed to contradict a need for special assistance:

was one of seven fourth graders out of 85,000 students to ace

the U.S. Math Olympiad (USAMO). The following year, he finished

second in a national math talent search.

recalls participating in the USAMO, the most rigorous and

selective math competition for students in America. " I wasn't really

nervous, " he says, smiling. A dimple forms in his right cheek. " It's

fun doing these competitions. "

Despite his academic abilities, it became apparent as early as first

grade that would not develop social skills on his own.

As a child, expected life to function like a math equation:

systematically and logically. In the social world, there are

exceptions to every rule, and would have a " meltdown " each time

a rule was broken, according to 's father, Mont.

desperately wanted the world to be structured; if one rule could be

broken, then every rule could be broken, which meant that the world

descended into chaos.

During meltdowns, he would scream and cry, hide under desks and throw

himself to the floor. His parents remember taking him to a speech

therapist because of a " constant whine " in his voice. The therapist

told them that the tension in 's voice was not his natural voice;

was simply in a near-perpetual state of stress.

" [For ] as a child, the world was nothing short of frightening, "

says Nanette Goodman, 's mother. " But as he got older, all of it

relaxed. Once he understood the world, he could live in it. "

and Goodman have done their best to teach the ways of the

neurologically typical, in hopes that he'll be able to ease himself

into the social world with fewer problems. " You have to pick your

battles, " says Goodman. " I mean, it would be nice if always made

eye contact when speaking to you, and if he always said `please'

and `thank you.' But it's more important that he doesn't start

playing with your shirt. "

Social immunity

No one ever wanted to be . Throughout elementary school, says

, children were awed by 's brilliance but didn't envy the

invisible walls that seemed to follow him wherever he went. He cried

for reasons they didn't understand, rarely recognized people he'd

been in school with for years and would hide under tables when

frustrated. Today he never cries in class, but he panics when he

hears loud noises and struggles to understand social cues.

He still has no friends his age.

People don't understand or even pity his social situation. But if you

ask , they've got it all wrong.

" Just because [people with Asperger's] might seem socially out of the

mainstream doesn't necessarily mean that we're stupid or incompetent

or don't understand, " he says. " It could mean that we don't value

social interaction in the way that other people do, or that there are

certain aspects of social interaction we've decided to reject. "

In middle school, students bullied by tripping him in the

hallways, harassing him in the locker room and throwing rocks at him.

The bullying had no emotional impact, says - it was purely a

physical hassle that he dealt with by speaking to teachers. People

who seek peer approval would have been too self-conscious to ask for

help, he says. He wasn't. In this regard, he believes Asperger's is

an advantage.

During his freshman year, joined a support group for teens with

social difficulties so that he could learn about the values of

friendship. " I didn't know how to go about making friends, " he says.

Laughing, he adds: " It's like, do you just install something? "

The rejection stories he heard at the group were " horrific, " he

remembers. " I only half-jokingly remarked, `Well, if trying to make

friends is this dangerous, then it's a good thing I didn't get

started too early! "

" I thought of a way to describe my attitude about this, " he says, a

smile creeping across his face. " Life is like a computer game, " he

begins. " Mine's just better because it has a single-player mode. " He

collapses with laughter, grabbing his head and rocking back and

forth.

After a minute, he collects himself. " Wait, scratch out `better' and

put in `different.' It's not about better or not better; there's

benefits to having friends too. I guess my point is that not having

friends is not something to be ashamed of - it's just a different

approach. "

's unique attitude toward life has constantly forced his parents

to re-evaluate the way in which they saw the world, says Goodman. She

remembers visiting 's elementary school and seeing all the kids

playing with friends while ate by himself. " It breaks your

heart, " she says. " doesn't crave that sort of bonding. I still

don't really deep in my heart get it. "

" Um, who are you? "

Standing before his government class on March 23, is dressed up

to give a presentation. He wears a blue button-down shirt, gray pants

and a red tie. Yet even in professional attire, his appearance seems

to betray that to him, image is irrelevant. The shirt is untucked,

and beneath his dress pants are a pair of tennis shoes. His hair

sticks out in a few odd places.

He asks a question, then calls on his classmates. " Uh. " He struggles

to remember the name. " That guy back there. " Another hand is

raised. " Um, who are you. " The girl raising her hand gave a half-hour

presentation at the beginning of the period. Finally, he

remembers. " Pria! Pria! " A minute later, he confuses the names of two

classmates.

Since childhood, has had difficulty recognizing faces. In second

grade, he mistook a classmate for his brother. When his mother asked

if he could recognize her in a line-up of women, he said: " It would

depend on what the other women looked like. "

's limited capacity for remembering faces is one of many similar

eccentricities, all of which reveal that he has an extremely unique

way of perceiving his surroundings, according to Goodman. " His sense

of the physical world is just weird, " she says, recalling a day when

he couldn't find the closet in his room because the closet doors,

usually open, were closed.

As students respond to 's discussion questions, he smiles to

himself, rolling and unrolling his tie, fiddling with the white plug

of the teacher's laptop. This time, when he calls on the boy who

spoke a few minutes ago, gets his name right.

Blind to bigotry

For people with Asperger's, the world of the neurologically typical

is mysterious and confusing in nearly every aspect of social

experience, writes in " A Different Kind of Boy, " a book he

wrote about . As 's parents spent years coaching their son on

the concepts of personal space ( " He would pet people's faces " ),

modesty ( " He'd emerge outside au naturel while we were chatting with

neighbors " ) and phrases not to say ( " He'd ask his grandma why she was

so fat " ), they struggled to explain human patterns of thought that

weren't logical.

" How do you explain racism to someone who lives by logic? "

writes. " How do you explain it to someone who honestly, completely

cannot relate to judging people by the color of their skin? " As a

child, was shocked to learn that there has never been a female

U.S. president.

Today, 's parents still marvel at his inability to comprehend

racism, sexism and other human biases. " [Most people] can't help but

come with all this societal baggage, " says Goodman. " Various

attitudes have just seeped into you. But that's not true for .

He's taken implicit association tests that reveal hidden biases that

most people have - has none. "

recently wrote a paper entitled " The Chains of Friendship: An

Autistic Person's Perspective on Interpersonal Relations. " He

examined peer pressure and the self-destructive behaviors that some

people adopt in order to be accepted.

In his essay, writes:

" While everybody likes to talk about how interpersonal relationships

are more valuable than anything material, for me the opposite is

true: material things are more predictable, while relationships can

swing from rewarding and fulfilling to excruciatingly painful with no

rhyme or reason. I just don't know why any willing person would

subject themselves to that kind of torture. I guess I'll never know. "

Sidebar:

Recent epidemiology studies have shown that autism spectrum disorders

are 10 times more prevalent than they were just 10 years ago,

according to the National Alliance for Autism Research. Autism is the

second most common developmental disability, next to mental

retardation. In January 2004, the Centers for Disease Control and

Prevention, along with the American Academy of Pediatrics, estimated

that one in 166 children are currently being diagnosed with autism.

_______________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

.. R. Schissel, LCSW

President (AHA/AS/PDD)

Advocates for Individuals with HighFunctioning Autism, Asperger's Syndrome

and other Pervasive Developmental Disorders

phone/fax

PO Box 475, Roslyn Heights, NY 11577

PatS@...

Please visit (www.aha-as-pdd.org) for the listings of our support group

dates, locations, and times. The groups meet monthly and are open to all at

no charge. We have groups for parents of school age children, parents of

older teens and adults, and for individuals on the spectrum.

Helpful Websites:

Part 200 Regulations:

Part 200.13(specific to Autism):

http://www.vesid.nysed.gov/specialed/publications/lawsandregs/part200.htm#200.13

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