Re: Maybe you're just depressed or need to get out more.

[Guest guest]

On May 9, 2011, at 1:35 AM,

lori wrote:

" You sound good. You look well. Maybe you're just depressed or need to get out

more. "

> Heard that or something similar from family, friends and others.

>

> I've tried explaining Fibro, Chronic Fatigue, Degenerative Disc, auto immune

problems, Lymes etc. to friends and family and they just don't get it.

>

> Saying it's like a horrible flu bug doesn't help.

>

> Anyone read a good, succinct article that maybe I can forward to these cads?

I'm about done with them.

>

> Thanks,

> Lori

> Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Hi Lori,

Believe it or not, the more people love us, the more painful it is to perceive

us in any way suffering as much as we say we are.

Pain is expressed in many different ways, some rude and harsh.

But at least that's their pain and not ours, right?

No need to take on their rudeness due to their painful resistance to knowing how

awful we feel doing anything at all as having anything to do with us.

So, it is up to us to know our conditions, our limits, ourselves well enough to

say No more often without explanation.

Explanation of our conditions opens conversations to unwanted comments like the

above.

It takes strength not to offer reasons but it's interesting to consider where we

got the idea we owe others explanations.

I know where I learned that I owed others explanations. My mother was always

explaining her life choices, which is understandable for one who married 5

times.

But I finally realized, once living on disability, my former boss never learned

a thing from all those explanations I gave her as to why I was sick. Because I

didn't know. I couldn't explain what I didn't know. But I tried and then had to

listen to all her objections that I should be at work.

The only explanation i owed her is this:

I would love to be at work today but I don't feel well and I don't know why. I

have visited / will visit a doctor who may or may not know why I am sick either

but will offer the required doctor's note.

I would love to:

Do the dishes;

Go to the family reunion;

Vacuum the living room, etc;

Have dinner at the table with the family;

Work for a living;

Walk regularly for my " health; "

Cook dinner for the family, for myself;

Live a somewhat normal life, but,

I do not feel well enough and I am going to rest now. Thank you for asking,

caring about me.

toni

http://cf-alliance.tripod.com/

from iPod touch