Re: Bad ride for a tired horse

[Guest guest]

Hey D. So sorry for the tough day. Remember -- it will be " history " one

day. Heck, it's history now! lol. I'm reminded of a few years back when I

felt SO awful (hadn't even been diagnosed hcv yet), but the chronic fatigue

and insomnia complaints were great. I remember there were days I would not get

any sleep at all -- go from sunup to sunup the next day and maybe get an hour

on the couch. I remember it was on a third day of " no sleep " (maybe two or

three hours in three days) that I went into a " rage " . (I slapped and shoved

someone I loved because I " snapped " and just " went off " ) I was totally

exhausted and unresonably angry (and violent). I was already IN therapy --

lol --

for chronic depression, and when I called my psychiatrist and told her I

thought I was going insane, she asked me if I could make it to the office, and I

did, and when I got to her office (in tears with dark bags under my eyes from

no sleep), she asked me if I thought a few days in the hospital might help

(that just made me more angry), and I told her " NO -- I just need something to

help me get some **** sleep " . She gave me a few sample bottles of some stuff

I had never heard of before. Zyprexa. I went home, took one, and I slept

for 18 solid hours! I felt like someone had given me a horse tranquilizer

when I woke up, and so I looked this drug up on the internet, and it said

" antipsychotic " , and that made me mad again - lol. I called her and asked her

" what's wrong -- do you think I'm nuts, or something -- givng me a ****

antipsychotic -- that thing knocked me for a LOOP, yadda yadda yadda " . She

said

" that's what you needed -- to be knocked out " . I never took it again, but (in

retrospect -- after I got over being angry for being told I was essentially

nuts)

she was probably right to have prescribed it to me that day. I was " out of

my head " from no sleep. I was an insomniac for about two years straight (not

even ON treatment). I wouldn't sleep but about two hours at a time and

would be wide-eyed for another 24 hours. I would finally poop totally out on

about that 4th day and " crash and burn " and get about 4 straight hours of sleep

(that was a GOOD week) When I got four straight hours, I felt like I had

really accomplished something.

You hang in there. Things will be OK. Don't beat yourself up too bad.

Jets

[Guest guest]

Hey D. So sorry for the tough day. Remember -- it will be " history " one

day. Heck, it's history now! lol. I'm reminded of a few years back when I

felt SO awful (hadn't even been diagnosed hcv yet), but the chronic fatigue

and insomnia complaints were great. I remember there were days I would not get

any sleep at all -- go from sunup to sunup the next day and maybe get an hour

on the couch. I remember it was on a third day of " no sleep " (maybe two or

three hours in three days) that I went into a " rage " . (I slapped and shoved

someone I loved because I " snapped " and just " went off " ) I was totally

exhausted and unresonably angry (and violent). I was already IN therapy --

lol --

for chronic depression, and when I called my psychiatrist and told her I

thought I was going insane, she asked me if I could make it to the office, and I

did, and when I got to her office (in tears with dark bags under my eyes from

no sleep), she asked me if I thought a few days in the hospital might help

(that just made me more angry), and I told her " NO -- I just need something to

help me get some **** sleep " . She gave me a few sample bottles of some stuff

I had never heard of before. Zyprexa. I went home, took one, and I slept

for 18 solid hours! I felt like someone had given me a horse tranquilizer

when I woke up, and so I looked this drug up on the internet, and it said

" antipsychotic " , and that made me mad again - lol. I called her and asked her

" what's wrong -- do you think I'm nuts, or something -- givng me a ****

antipsychotic -- that thing knocked me for a LOOP, yadda yadda yadda " . She

said

" that's what you needed -- to be knocked out " . I never took it again, but (in

retrospect -- after I got over being angry for being told I was essentially

nuts)

she was probably right to have prescribed it to me that day. I was " out of

my head " from no sleep. I was an insomniac for about two years straight (not

even ON treatment). I wouldn't sleep but about two hours at a time and

would be wide-eyed for another 24 hours. I would finally poop totally out on

about that 4th day and " crash and burn " and get about 4 straight hours of sleep

(that was a GOOD week) When I got four straight hours, I felt like I had

really accomplished something.

You hang in there. Things will be OK. Don't beat yourself up too bad.

Jets

[Guest guest]

I don't know how my previous short reply came across but I don't really

like the idea of you accepting all the blame for this. Counseling? How

is counseling going to help you with what the drugs are doing to your

body and mind?

Doug

Doug Nicholson wrote:

>So, it's all your fault?

>

>Doug

>

>Shadowbear@... wrote:

>

>

>

>>I was trying to re-hang the towel rack by the sink (it was loose), when it

>>fell, crushing the lamp, and sending oil everywhere. I hollered for Kate to

>>bring a scrap towel, and started grabbing stuff off the counter as quick as I

>>could. She rolled into the room like a thundercloud, boiling with fury that I

>>had made a mess in a room she had just spent two hours cleaning, and ORDERED

me

>>out of the room so she could clean it up " AGAIN! "

>>

>>I flipped.

>>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/2/2004 7:07:33 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

Shadowbear@... writes:

Well, it finally happened.

Today my rages, my pervailing insomnia, and the resulting short fuse, and my

teenage daughters attitude met at full force.

We have been trying to prep for company this weekend, and were cleaning like

demons (same as we've been doing for the last three days). The confrontation

resulted over the bathroom, and a broken oil lamp.

I was trying to re-hang the towel rack by the sink (it was loose), when it

fell, crushing the lamp, and sending oil everywhere. I hollered for Kate to

bring a scrap towel, and started grabbing stuff off the counter as quick as I

could. She rolled into the room like a thundercloud, boiling with fury that

I

had made a mess in a room she had just spent two hours cleaning, and ORDERED

me

out of the room so she could clean it up " AGAIN! "

I flipped.

Arguing turned to yelling, yelling turned to pushing, pushing turned to

shoving, and suddenly there we were, fists raised, ready to throw down.

Breathing hard, we stopped. Startled, scared, and confused at what had almost

happened. That was about 2:00. We called her mom at work, and had her take

some time off, sat down as a family, and discussed what had happened.

I have decided to talk to my doc, and see if upping the voltage on my Zurteck

will cut the rages any. I'm also going to get on a new prescription for

sleep aids. When I'm not sleeping well, I'm more prone to outbursts.

Normally,

these are limited to comedic lunacy, but today I came way to close to finding

out what happens when it's not! Never again!

The question of couciling came up, but I'm normally rather well-adjusted (or

at least comfortable in my psychosis), so we're going to see what the doc

says

first. Unfortunately, I'm stuck as is till after the holiday. Lets hope the

fireworks stay in the sky!

This just goes to show you that no matter how well informed, prepared, or

ready you think you are, when the reality of a situation comes along, you'll

have

to deal with it as is. Lets hope none of you have to deal with what I faced

today!

Peace,

D (shaken and stirred)

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/2/2004 7:07:33 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

Shadowbear@... writes:

Well, it finally happened.

Today my rages, my pervailing insomnia, and the resulting short fuse, and my

teenage daughters attitude met at full force.

We have been trying to prep for company this weekend, and were cleaning like

demons (same as we've been doing for the last three days). The confrontation

resulted over the bathroom, and a broken oil lamp.

I was trying to re-hang the towel rack by the sink (it was loose), when it

fell, crushing the lamp, and sending oil everywhere. I hollered for Kate to

bring a scrap towel, and started grabbing stuff off the counter as quick as I

could. She rolled into the room like a thundercloud, boiling with fury that

I

had made a mess in a room she had just spent two hours cleaning, and ORDERED

me

out of the room so she could clean it up " AGAIN! "

I flipped.

Arguing turned to yelling, yelling turned to pushing, pushing turned to

shoving, and suddenly there we were, fists raised, ready to throw down.

Breathing hard, we stopped. Startled, scared, and confused at what had almost

happened. That was about 2:00. We called her mom at work, and had her take

some time off, sat down as a family, and discussed what had happened.

I have decided to talk to my doc, and see if upping the voltage on my Zurteck

will cut the rages any. I'm also going to get on a new prescription for

sleep aids. When I'm not sleeping well, I'm more prone to outbursts.

Normally,

these are limited to comedic lunacy, but today I came way to close to finding

out what happens when it's not! Never again!

The question of couciling came up, but I'm normally rather well-adjusted (or

at least comfortable in my psychosis), so we're going to see what the doc

says

first. Unfortunately, I'm stuck as is till after the holiday. Lets hope the

fireworks stay in the sky!

This just goes to show you that no matter how well informed, prepared, or

ready you think you are, when the reality of a situation comes along, you'll

have

to deal with it as is. Lets hope none of you have to deal with what I faced

today!

Peace,

D (shaken and stirred)