Guest guest Posted February 2, 2006 Report Posted February 2, 2006 After catching up on all the posts, I'm lost in thought and welcome discussion. I used to believe that " Boundaries " were healthy. As a counselor and therapist I was absolutely committed to " Boundaries. " My thought is that each boundary I set was for myself. I CAN'T set a boundary for another human BEING... impossible. I was in that dream for a very long time. It seems clear to me that the boundaries I set, were ways of avoiding myself, my superiority complex that I denied until this Work. Without this Work, I'd still be there. (How do I know I'm not still there? It doesn't hurt anymore.) A boundary allowed me to hide and avoid me... and thinking all the while that I needed protection from YOU (entirely " other " realized). I didn't notice ME. MY story is: a boundary is justification for separation. Any thoughts? I also notice that when someone does/says something that causes me to want to separate from them, I am no longer in the illusion of " THEM " , .... I know it's my story and I feel gratitude that I can once again, see my reflection with crystal clarity and come back to My Work. I don't notice myself wanting to be less separate from them, I only notice that my reaction is to withdraw. I notice that they are free and so am I. It is what it is until it changes. I don't notice that I suffer. It's much like burning my hand on a stove element. I know I don't want to be burned again, but I also respect the value and other uses of the hot element. I can make space for it, but I can also withdraw from the heat before it burns. Does that make any sense? Any thoughts? Thank you for sharing The Work with me! Sandi Quote
Guest guest Posted February 2, 2006 Report Posted February 2, 2006 this makes me think of a piece that i viewed on the resentment and jealousy video. kt is dialoguing a piece with a woman who wants her roommate to move out of her home. kt clearly lets the person know that she wants her to move out by monday. when the participant said 'those boundaries are good to have', kt quickly said 'it's not a boundary, its the truth'. kt was 'playing' the loving human being who wanted the other person to move out...does that mean that she seperated from the roommate that she asked to leave? i think not, she lovingly and clearly communicated her integrity, letting the other know that she wanted her to move out. speaking your own truth is a loving thing to do. when i feel uncomfortable i stay within my integrity and communicate that. if it is stressful to me and causes pain, i may do the work on the situation later. when a similar situation occurs, it may not bother me anymore. all i can do is speak my own truth and watch what unfolds....thats my story these days anyway! wrote: After catching up on all the posts, I'm lost in thought and welcome discussion. I used to believe that " Boundaries " were healthy. As a counselor and therapist I was absolutely committed to " Boundaries. " My thought is that each boundary I set was for myself. I CAN'T set a boundary for another human BEING... impossible. I was in that dream for a very long time. It seems clear to me that the boundaries I set, were ways of avoiding myself, my superiority complex that I denied until this Work. Without this Work, I'd still be there. (How do I know I'm not still there? It doesn't hurt anymore.) A boundary allowed me to hide and avoid me... and thinking all the while that I needed protection from YOU (entirely " other " realized). I didn't notice ME. MY story is: a boundary is justification for separation. Any thoughts? I also notice that when someone does/says something that causes me to want to separate from them, I am no longer in the illusion of " THEM " , .... I know it's my story and I feel gratitude that I can once again, see my reflection with crystal clarity and come back to My Work. I don't notice myself wanting to be less separate from them, I only notice that my reaction is to withdraw. I notice that they are free and so am I. It is what it is until it changes. I don't notice that I suffer. It's much like burning my hand on a stove element. I know I don't want to be burned again, but I also respect the value and other uses of the hot element. I can make space for it, but I can also withdraw from the heat before it burns. Does that make any sense? Any thoughts? Thank you for sharing The Work with me! Sandi Quote
Guest guest Posted February 2, 2006 Report Posted February 2, 2006 > > After catching up on all the posts, I'm lost in thought and welcome > discussion. I used to believe that " Boundaries " were healthy. As a > counselor and therapist I was absolutely committed > to " Boundaries. " My thought is that each boundary I set was for > myself. I CAN'T set a boundary for another human BEING... > impossible. I was in that dream for a very long time. It seems > clear to me that the boundaries I set, were ways of avoiding > myself, my superiority complex that I denied until this Work. > Without this Work, I'd still be there. (How do I know > I'm not still there? It doesn't hurt anymore.) A boundary allowed > me to hide and avoid me... and thinking all the while that I needed > protection from YOU (entirely " other " realized). I didn't notice > ME. MY story is: a boundary is justification for separation. Any > thoughts? My 2 cents worth Ego's don't move from love, so boundaries are essential. Without boundaries the ego would be free to kill, rape, steal etc. because that's what ego's do to preserve themselves. To see the ego in all it's glory just watch the children of parents who have not set any boundaries, or an episode of Super Nanny or Nanny 911. In a perfect world where everyone had undone the blocks to the awareness of love, boundaries would be unnecessary because love is incapable of killing, rape, adultery, stealing etc. Unfortunately this is not a perfect world, so until everyone undoes the blocks to the awareness of love boundaries serve a very useful function of keeping the ego in check. When the boundaries breakdown or are not established in childhood, then we get behaviour like that of Tami, which for me is not a pretty site. Have a beautiful day Quote
Guest guest Posted February 3, 2006 Report Posted February 3, 2006 Dear , > I CAN'T set a boundary for another human BEING true. > I CAN'T set a boundary for another true. > I CAN'T set a boundary ?? What is setting a boundary? Isn't it a commitement not to do something at any later given time? And isn't that making an agreement with yourself? For what? Love, Am 02.02.2006 um 22:55 schrieb : > After catching up on all the posts, I'm lost in thought and welcome > discussion. I used to believe that " Boundaries " were healthy. As a > counselor and therapist I was absolutely committed to " Boundaries. " My > thought is that each boundary I set was for myself. I CAN'T set a > boundary for another human BEING... impossible. I was in that dream > for a very long time. It seems clear to me that the boundaries I set, > were ways of avoiding myself, my superiority complex that I denied > until this Work. Without this Work, I'd still be there. (How do I know > I'm not still there? It doesn't hurt anymore.) A boundary allowed me > to hide and avoid me... and thinking all the while that I needed > protection from YOU (entirely " other " realized). I didn't notice ME. > MY story is: a boundary is justification for separation. Any thoughts? > > I also notice that when someone does/says something that causes me to > want to separate from them, I am no longer in the illusion of " THEM " , > ... I know it's my story and I feel gratitude that I can once again, > see my reflection with crystal clarity and come back to My Work. I > don't notice myself wanting to be less separate from them, I only > notice that my reaction is to withdraw. I notice that they are free > and so am I. It is what it is until it changes. I don't notice that I > suffer. It's much like burning my hand on a stove element. I know I > don't want to be burned again, but I also respect the value and other > uses of the hot element. I can make space for it, but I can also > withdraw from the heat before it burns. Does that make any sense? Any > thoughts? > > Thank you for sharing The Work with me! Sandi > > > > > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted February 3, 2006 Report Posted February 3, 2006 Dear Love, > My 2 cents worth > > Ego's don't move from love, so boundaries are essential. The first time I read this, I read: " egos don't move away from love " , but I think it's " Ego's don't act from a point of love " , isn't it? > Without boundaries the ego would be free to kill, rape, steal etc. > because > that's what ego's do to preserve themselves. So, a boundary is something that keeps an ego from killing, raping, stealing, etc.? > To see the ego in all > it's glory just watch the children of parents who have not set any > boundaries, or an episode of Super Nanny or Nanny 911. And you think it's their ego doing what they are doing, and boundaries have to set from the outside on someone, rather than anyone setting boundaries for himself? Interesting. I don't know who sets my boundaries. Who set yours? Which? Maybe you can help me to find that. > In a perfect world where everyone had undone the blocks to the > awareness of love, boundaries would be unnecessary because love is > incapable of killing, rape, adultery, stealing etc. It sounds like being confused about something is a bad thing, and when you really love, everything you do would be seen as love. It's not my experience. And I think I hear doing a work with a girl that had been raped and finding the love in her actions. My experience is that love sets me free. What if you kill one person to save ten? Is that love, for the ten? Is it confusion? Is it ego? Can't you set up a plot where you kill and are still in love? What if you kill a deer to feed ten starving people? Where is the difference in killing an animal, and killing a human being? Can you kill a tomatoe? I think you can go on and on with these questions without getting to an answer, in the end. At some point your belief system is challenged. I know the difference of when I kill something, or someone. And someone else may see it as an act of love, enlightened, or not. People do condone killing. Every day. And most don't even know that the work exists. For me it boils down to this: If I hurt, I am confused. That's it. > Unfortunately You use this word very often. > this is not a perfect world, Interesting. Wouldn't it be great to be in a perfect world? > so until everyone undoes the blocks to > the awareness of love boundaries serve a very useful function of > keeping the ego in check. When the boundaries breakdown or are not > established in childhood, then we get behaviour like that of Tami, > which for me is not a pretty site. > > Have a beautiful day You too, love, ___________________________________________________________ Telefonate ohne weitere Kosten vom PC zum PC: http://messenger.yahoo.de Quote
Guest guest Posted February 3, 2006 Report Posted February 3, 2006 Thank you for your thoughtful response . I have the video that you're referring to and I understand your comparison. While at the school, someone asked Kt about infedility. Kt's response was that if her husband wanted to be with other women, she would say " I see you want to be with other women and I notice when you are that something within me separates from you. I don't know why... I just know that I do. It is what it is. " I loved it cause there's no blame, only self realization and love. The topic of boundaries also came up and she made it clear that she no longer has a need for them. What is a boundary?... just another myth or story and an attempt to control someone else. Thanks ... I think our story's are similar. Thanks for sharing the work with me. ) Warmly, Sandi After catching up on all the posts, I'm lost in thought and welcome > discussion. I used to believe that " Boundaries " were healthy. As a > counselor and therapist I was absolutely committed to " Boundaries. " My > thought is that each boundary I set was for myself. I CAN'T set a > boundary for another human BEING... impossible. I was in that dream > for a very long time. It seems clear to me that the boundaries I set, > were ways of avoiding myself, my superiority complex that I denied > until this Work. Without this Work, I'd still be there. (How do I know > I'm not still there? It doesn't hurt anymore.) A boundary allowed me > to hide and avoid me... and thinking all the while that I needed > protection from YOU (entirely " other " realized). I didn't notice ME. > MY story is: a boundary is justification for separation. Any thoughts? > > I also notice that when someone does/says something that causes me to > want to separate from them, I am no longer in the illusion of " THEM " , > ... I know it's my story and I feel gratitude that I can once again, > see my reflection with crystal clarity and come back to My Work. I > don't notice myself wanting to be less separate from them, I only > notice that my reaction is to withdraw. I notice that they are free > and so am I. It is what it is until it changes. I don't notice that I > suffer. It's much like burning my hand on a stove element. I know I > don't want to be burned again, but I also respect the value and other > uses of the hot element. I can make space for it, but I can also > withdraw from the heat before it burns. Does that make any sense? Any > thoughts? > > Thank you for sharing The Work with me! Sandi > > > > > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted February 3, 2006 Report Posted February 3, 2006 Hi Love ) Thanks for sharing your two cents ;o). My story is different than yours. Just as defense is the first act toward war, I now believe that " boundaries " and " defense " are very close in nature. As long as I think I can set a boundary for you, I'm ready to engage in separation and war with you. I am a lover of " peace " or not. " Peace " isn't selective and it never justifies war for any reason. It's been feeling like a war zone here. I notice that you used my post as another opportunity to attack Tami. Is your ego coming from love? My experience is that ego's don't come from love. The " I know mind " chews up love and spits it out. Love is the thread that allows the " I know mind " and the " knowing mind " to meet. I call this heaven ;o). Love... your reaction to Tami isn't any prettier. I'm not attacking you, just sharing what's true for me... and I notice that I don't love you less. If you allow Tami her freedom, you'll get closer to your own... in my experience. Thank you for sharing the work with me. Warmly, Sandi > > > > After catching up on all the posts, I'm lost in thought and welcome > > discussion. I used to believe that " Boundaries " were healthy. As a > > counselor and therapist I was absolutely committed > > to " Boundaries. " My thought is that each boundary I set was for > > myself. I CAN'T set a boundary for another human BEING... > > impossible. I was in that dream for a very long time. It seems > > clear to me that the boundaries I set, were ways of avoiding > > myself, my superiority complex that I denied until this Work. > > Without this Work, I'd still be there. (How do I know > > I'm not still there? It doesn't hurt anymore.) A boundary allowed > > me to hide and avoid me... and thinking all the while that I needed > > protection from YOU (entirely " other " realized). I didn't notice > > ME. MY story is: a boundary is justification for separation. Any > > thoughts? > > > My 2 cents worth > > Ego's don't move from love, so boundaries are essential. Without > boundaries the ego would be free to kill, rape, steal etc. because > that's what ego's do to preserve themselves. To see the ego in all > it's glory just watch the children of parents who have not set any > boundaries, or an episode of Super Nanny or Nanny 911. > In a perfect world where everyone had undone the blocks to the > awareness of love, boundaries would be unnecessary because love is > incapable of killing, rape, adultery, stealing etc. Unfortunately > this is not a perfect world, so until everyone undoes the blocks to > the awareness of love boundaries serve a very useful function of > keeping the ego in check. When the boundaries breakdown or are not > established in childhood, then we get behaviour like that of Tami, > which for me is not a pretty site. > > Have a beautiful day > Quote
Guest guest Posted February 3, 2006 Report Posted February 3, 2006 Sandi In one word: WOW You wrote: " Love, If you allow Tami her freedom... " I had the thought, I don't need him to be free but you ended by saying: " you'll get closer to your own... " Oh, if I can be in any help to love's freedom, I will be happy to assist. I am joking of course, I care less Love you all T -- Re: Boundary = Separation? Hi Love ) Thanks for sharing your two cents ;o). My story is different than yours. Just as defense is the first act toward war, I now believe that " boundaries " and " defense " are very close in nature. As long as I think I can set a boundary for you, I'm ready to engage in separation and war with you. I am a lover of " peace " or not. " Peace " isn't selective and it never justifies war for any reason. It's been feeling like a war zone here. I notice that you used my post as another opportunity to attack Tami. Is your ego coming from love? My experience is that ego's don't come from love. The " I know mind " chews up love and spits it out. Love is the thread that allows the " I know mind " and the " knowing mind " to meet. I call this heaven ;o). Love... your reaction to Tami isn't any prettier. I'm not attacking you, just sharing what's true for me... and I notice that I don't love you less. If you allow Tami her freedom, you'll get closer to your own... in my experience. Thank you for sharing the work with me. Warmly, Sandi > > > > After catching up on all the posts, I'm lost in thought and welcome > > discussion. I used to believe that " Boundaries " were healthy. As a > > counselor and therapist I was absolutely committed > > to " Boundaries. " My thought is that each boundary I set was for > > myself. I CAN'T set a boundary for another human BEING... > > impossible. I was in that dream for a very long time. It seems > > clear to me that the boundaries I set, were ways of avoiding > > myself, my superiority complex that I denied until this Work. > > Without this Work, I'd still be there. (How do I know > > I'm not still there? It doesn't hurt anymore.) A boundary allowed > > me to hide and avoid me... and thinking all the while that I needed > > protection from YOU (entirely " other " realized). I didn't notice > > ME. MY story is: a boundary is justification for separation. Any > > thoughts? > > > My 2 cents worth > > Ego's don't move from love, so boundaries are essential. Without > boundaries the ego would be free to kill, rape, steal etc. because > that's what ego's do to preserve themselves. To see the ego in all > it's glory just watch the children of parents who have not set any > boundaries, or an episode of Super Nanny or Nanny 911. > In a perfect world where everyone had undone the blocks to the > awareness of love, boundaries would be unnecessary because love is > incapable of killing, rape, adultery, stealing etc. Unfortunately > this is not a perfect world, so until everyone undoes the blocks to > the awareness of love boundaries serve a very useful function of > keeping the ego in check. When the boundaries breakdown or are not > established in childhood, then we get behaviour like that of Tami, > which for me is not a pretty site. > > Have a beautiful day > Quote
Guest guest Posted February 3, 2006 Report Posted February 3, 2006 Thank you for your response . I don't know if I perceive a boundary as a commitment, but I share your story in that it is an agreement with self and not about the " other. " Thank you for sharing the work with me. Warmly, Sandi > > Dear , > > > I CAN'T set a boundary for another human BEING > true. > > > I CAN'T set a boundary for another > true. > > > I CAN'T set a boundary > ?? > > What is setting a boundary? > > Isn't it a commitement not to do something at any later given time? > And isn't that making an agreement with yourself? > > For what? > > Love, > > > Am 02.02.2006 um 22:55 schrieb : > > > After catching up on all the posts, I'm lost in thought and welcome > > discussion. I used to believe that " Boundaries " were healthy. As a > > counselor and therapist I was absolutely committed to " Boundaries. " My > > thought is that each boundary I set was for myself. I CAN'T set a > > boundary for another human BEING... impossible. I was in that dream > > for a very long time. It seems clear to me that the boundaries I set, > > were ways of avoiding myself, my superiority complex that I denied > > until this Work. Without this Work, I'd still be there. (How do I know > > I'm not still there? It doesn't hurt anymore.) A boundary allowed me > > to hide and avoid me... and thinking all the while that I needed > > protection from YOU (entirely " other " realized). I didn't notice ME. > > MY story is: a boundary is justification for separation. Any thoughts? > > > > I also notice that when someone does/says something that causes me to > > want to separate from them, I am no longer in the illusion of " THEM " , > > ... I know it's my story and I feel gratitude that I can once again, > > see my reflection with crystal clarity and come back to My Work. I > > don't notice myself wanting to be less separate from them, I only > > notice that my reaction is to withdraw. I notice that they are free > > and so am I. It is what it is until it changes. I don't notice that I > > suffer. It's much like burning my hand on a stove element. I know I > > don't want to be burned again, but I also respect the value and other > > uses of the hot element. I can make space for it, but I can also > > withdraw from the heat before it burns. Does that make any sense? Any > > thoughts? > > > > Thank you for sharing The Work with me! Sandi > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted February 3, 2006 Report Posted February 3, 2006 Yes , When we can be clear, where is the need for blame? I enjoyed being reminded of this example that you give. Whatever the other chooses to do, can I stay within my integrity and move without blame? This is a great thing to notice and work with, in my experience. And I notice also that when I get out of the habit of blame, it (life) becomes much more of an adventure. My relationships are less about power struggles and more an unfolding story that I find kind of fascinating...how will things turn out? I never know, and I never need to know. I tell my truth and see where it takes me. I can't always do this, and when I cant, doing the work is a great option so that I can get clear about what it is I think I have to lose if I do tell my truth. Nice looking at this with you , thank you. wrote: Thank you for your thoughtful response . I have the video that you're referring to and I understand your comparison. While at the school, someone asked Kt about infedility. Kt's response was that if her husband wanted to be with other women, she would say " I see you want to be with other women and I notice when you are that something within me separates from you. I don't know why... I just know that I do. It is what it is. " I loved it cause there's no blame, only self realization and love. The topic of boundaries also came up and she made it clear that she no longer has a need for them. What is a boundary?... just another myth or story and an attempt to control someone else. Thanks ... I think our story's are similar. Thanks for sharing the work with me. ) Warmly, Sandi After catching up on all the posts, I'm lost in thought and welcome > discussion. I used to believe that " Boundaries " were healthy. As a > counselor and therapist I was absolutely committed to " Boundaries. " My > thought is that each boundary I set was for myself. I CAN'T set a > boundary for another human BEING... impossible. I was in that dream > for a very long time. It seems clear to me that the boundaries I set, > were ways of avoiding myself, my superiority complex that I denied > until this Work. Without this Work, I'd still be there. (How do I know > I'm not still there? It doesn't hurt anymore.) A boundary allowed me > to hide and avoid me... and thinking all the while that I needed > protection from YOU (entirely " other " realized). I didn't notice ME. > MY story is: a boundary is justification for separation. Any thoughts? > > I also notice that when someone does/says something that causes me to > want to separate from them, I am no longer in the illusion of " THEM " , > ... I know it's my story and I feel gratitude that I can once again, > see my reflection with crystal clarity and come back to My Work. I > don't notice myself wanting to be less separate from them, I only > notice that my reaction is to withdraw. I notice that they are free > and so am I. It is what it is until it changes. I don't notice that I > suffer. It's much like burning my hand on a stove element. I know I > don't want to be burned again, but I also respect the value and other > uses of the hot element. I can make space for it, but I can also > withdraw from the heat before it burns. Does that make any sense? Any > thoughts? > > Thank you for sharing The Work with me! Sandi > > > > > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted February 3, 2006 Report Posted February 3, 2006 Yes Tami... I see now I could have chosen better words!... but I didn't (reality). I guess what I was trying to say is simply... who's business are you/he in? It's as though you feed on one another's ego's (war). It's kind of a one-up-manship between the two of you. It's rather interesting to me though as in my mind, it represents a microcosm of the world at war. We expect governments to legislate peace, for religion to demonstrate peace (other realized) and we stand idly by as though we have no responsibility to it... it's for someone else to do. It begins with me. Peace on this planet is only possible one heart at a time making it's own commitment... full consciousness. Just my story though ;o). Thank you for sharing the work with me Tami. Warmly, Sandi > > > > > > After catching up on all the posts, I'm lost in thought and welcome > > > discussion. I used to believe that " Boundaries " were healthy. As a > > > counselor and therapist I was absolutely committed > > > to " Boundaries. " My thought is that each boundary I set was for > > > myself. I CAN'T set a boundary for another human BEING... > > > impossible. I was in that dream for a very long time. It seems > > > clear to me that the boundaries I set, were ways of avoiding > > > myself, my superiority complex that I denied until this Work. > > > Without this Work, I'd still be there. (How do I know > > > I'm not still there? It doesn't hurt anymore.) A boundary allowed > > > me to hide and avoid me... and thinking all the while that I needed > > > protection from YOU (entirely " other " realized). I didn't notice > > > ME. MY story is: a boundary is justification for separation. Any > > > thoughts? > > > > > > My 2 cents worth > > > > Ego's don't move from love, so boundaries are essential. Without > > boundaries the ego would be free to kill, rape, steal etc. because > > that's what ego's do to preserve themselves. To see the ego in all > > it's glory just watch the children of parents who have not set any > > boundaries, or an episode of Super Nanny or Nanny 911. > > In a perfect world where everyone had undone the blocks to the > > awareness of love, boundaries would be unnecessary because love is > > incapable of killing, rape, adultery, stealing etc. Unfortunately > > this is not a perfect world, so until everyone undoes the blocks to > > the awareness of love boundaries serve a very useful function of > > keeping the ego in check. When the boundaries breakdown or are not > > established in childhood, then we get behaviour like that of Tami, > > which for me is not a pretty site. > > > > Have a beautiful day > > > > > > > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted February 3, 2006 Report Posted February 3, 2006 I don't feel any war we just share opinions T -- Re: Boundary = Separation? Yes Tami... I see now I could have chosen better words!... but I didn't (reality). I guess what I was trying to say is simply... who's business are you/he in? It's as though you feed on one another's ego's (war). It's kind of a one-up-manship between the two of you. It's rather interesting to me though as in my mind, it represents a microcosm of the world at war. We expect governments to legislate peace, for religion to demonstrate peace (other realized) and we stand idly by as though we have no responsibility to it... it's for someone else to do. It begins with me. Peace on this planet is only possible one heart at a time making it's own commitment... full consciousness. Just my story though ;o). Thank you for sharing the work with me Tami. Warmly, Sandi > > > > > > After catching up on all the posts, I'm lost in thought and welcome > > > discussion. I used to believe that " Boundaries " were healthy. As a > > > counselor and therapist I was absolutely committed > > > to " Boundaries. " My thought is that each boundary I set was for > > > myself. I CAN'T set a boundary for another human BEING... > > > impossible. I was in that dream for a very long time. It seems > > > clear to me that the boundaries I set, were ways of avoiding > > > myself, my superiority complex that I denied until this Work. > > > Without this Work, I'd still be there. (How do I know > > > I'm not still there? It doesn't hurt anymore.) A boundary allowed > > > me to hide and avoid me... and thinking all the while that I needed > > > protection from YOU (entirely " other " realized). I didn't notice > > > ME. MY story is: a boundary is justification for separation. Any > > > thoughts? > > > > > > My 2 cents worth > > > > Ego's don't move from love, so boundaries are essential. Without > > boundaries the ego would be free to kill, rape, steal etc. because > > that's what ego's do to preserve themselves. To see the ego in all > > it's glory just watch the children of parents who have not set any > > boundaries, or an episode of Super Nanny or Nanny 911. > > In a perfect world where everyone had undone the blocks to the > > awareness of love, boundaries would be unnecessary because love is > > incapable of killing, rape, adultery, stealing etc. Unfortunately > > this is not a perfect world, so until everyone undoes the blocks to > > the awareness of love boundaries serve a very useful function of > > keeping the ego in check. When the boundaries breakdown or are not > > established in childhood, then we get behaviour like that of Tami, > > which for me is not a pretty site. > > > > Have a beautiful day > > > > > > > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted February 3, 2006 Report Posted February 3, 2006 The " I know mind " always justifies itself. By your own admission, you enjoy pushing people's button... you said you like the reaction... SPORT, I think you said. Isn't that how many wars begin? Take North Korea... pushing our buttons with threats to arm themselves with nuclear power. The world is reacting. Thank you for the discussion Tami... you cause my heart and mind to expand. You are a perfect teacher. ) Warmly, Sandi > > > > > > > > After catching up on all the posts, I'm lost in thought and welcome > > > > discussion. I used to believe that " Boundaries " were healthy. As a > > > > counselor and therapist I was absolutely committed > > > > to " Boundaries. " My thought is that each boundary I set was for > > > > myself. I CAN'T set a boundary for another human BEING... > > > > impossible. I was in that dream for a very long time. It seems > > > > clear to me that the boundaries I set, were ways of avoiding > > > > myself, my superiority complex that I denied until this Work. > > > > Without this Work, I'd still be there. (How do I know > > > > I'm not still there? It doesn't hurt anymore.) A boundary allowed > > > > me to hide and avoid me... and thinking all the while that I needed > > > > protection from YOU (entirely " other " realized). I didn't notice > > > > ME. MY story is: a boundary is justification for separation. Any > > > > thoughts? > > > > > > > > > My 2 cents worth > > > > > > Ego's don't move from love, so boundaries are essential. Without > > > boundaries the ego would be free to kill, rape, steal etc. because > > > that's what ego's do to preserve themselves. To see the ego in all > > > it's glory just watch the children of parents who have not set any > > > boundaries, or an episode of Super Nanny or Nanny 911. > > > In a perfect world where everyone had undone the blocks to the > > > awareness of love, boundaries would be unnecessary because love is > > > incapable of killing, rape, adultery, stealing etc. Unfortunately > > > this is not a perfect world, so until everyone undoes the blocks to > > > the awareness of love boundaries serve a very useful function of > > > keeping the ego in check. When the boundaries breakdown or are not > > > established in childhood, then we get behaviour like that of Tami, > > > which for me is not a pretty site. > > > > > > Have a beautiful day > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted February 3, 2006 Report Posted February 3, 2006 I don't understand I don't feel war, but I could be wrong -- Re: Boundary = Separation? The " I know mind " always justifies itself. By your own admission, you enjoy pushing people's button... you said you like the reaction... SPORT, I think you said. Isn't that how many wars begin? Take North Korea... pushing our buttons with threats to arm themselves with nuclear power. The world is reacting. Thank you for the discussion Tami... you cause my heart and mind to expand. You are a perfect teacher. ) Warmly, Sandi > > > > > > > > After catching up on all the posts, I'm lost in thought and welcome > > > > discussion. I used to believe that " Boundaries " were healthy. As a > > > > counselor and therapist I was absolutely committed > > > > to " Boundaries. " My thought is that each boundary I set was for > > > > myself. I CAN'T set a boundary for another human BEING... > > > > impossible. I was in that dream for a very long time. It seems > > > > clear to me that the boundaries I set, were ways of avoiding > > > > myself, my superiority complex that I denied until this Work. > > > > Without this Work, I'd still be there. (How do I know > > > > I'm not still there? It doesn't hurt anymore.) A boundary allowed > > > > me to hide and avoid me... and thinking all the while that I needed > > > > protection from YOU (entirely " other " realized). I didn't notice > > > > ME. MY story is: a boundary is justification for separation. Any > > > > thoughts? > > > > > > > > > My 2 cents worth > > > > > > Ego's don't move from love, so boundaries are essential. Without > > > boundaries the ego would be free to kill, rape, steal etc. because > > > that's what ego's do to preserve themselves. To see the ego in all > > > it's glory just watch the children of parents who have not set any > > > boundaries, or an episode of Super Nanny or Nanny 911. > > > In a perfect world where everyone had undone the blocks to the > > > awareness of love, boundaries would be unnecessary because love is > > > incapable of killing, rape, adultery, stealing etc. Unfortunately > > > this is not a perfect world, so until everyone undoes the blocks to > > > the awareness of love boundaries serve a very useful function of > > > keeping the ego in check. When the boundaries breakdown or are not > > > established in childhood, then we get behaviour like that of Tami, > > > which for me is not a pretty site. > > > > > > Have a beautiful day > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted February 3, 2006 Report Posted February 3, 2006 Dear , You don't know? Really. I would like you to share what you do perceive a commitment as. Love, Am 03.02.2006 um 19:02 schrieb : > Thank you for your response . I don't know if I perceive a > boundary as a commitment, but I share your story in that it is an > agreement with self and not about the " other. " Thank you for sharing > the work with me. > > Warmly, Sandi > > >> >> Dear , >> >>> I CAN'T set a boundary for another human BEING >> true. >> >>> I CAN'T set a boundary for another >> true. >> >>> I CAN'T set a boundary >> ?? >> >> What is setting a boundary? >> >> Isn't it a commitement not to do something at any later given time? >> And isn't that making an agreement with yourself? >> >> For what? >> >> Love, >> >> >> Am 02.02.2006 um 22:55 schrieb : >> >>> After catching up on all the posts, I'm lost in thought and welcome >>> discussion. I used to believe that " Boundaries " were healthy. As a >>> counselor and therapist I was absolutely committed to >>> " Boundaries. " My >>> thought is that each boundary I set was for myself. I CAN'T set a >>> boundary for another human BEING... impossible. I was in that dream >>> for a very long time. It seems clear to me that the boundaries I >>> set, >>> were ways of avoiding myself, my superiority complex that I denied >>> until this Work. Without this Work, I'd still be there. (How do I >>> know >>> I'm not still there? It doesn't hurt anymore.) A boundary allowed me >>> to hide and avoid me... and thinking all the while that I needed >>> protection from YOU (entirely " other " realized). I didn't notice ME. >>> MY story is: a boundary is justification for separation. Any >>> thoughts? >>> >>> I also notice that when someone does/says something that causes >>> me to >>> want to separate from them, I am no longer in the illusion of >>> " THEM " , >>> ... I know it's my story and I feel gratitude that I can once again, >>> see my reflection with crystal clarity and come back to My Work. I >>> don't notice myself wanting to be less separate from them, I only >>> notice that my reaction is to withdraw. I notice that they are free >>> and so am I. It is what it is until it changes. I don't notice >>> that I >>> suffer. It's much like burning my hand on a stove element. I know I >>> don't want to be burned again, but I also respect the value and >>> other >>> uses of the hot element. I can make space for it, but I can also >>> withdraw from the heat before it burns. Does that make any sense? >>> Any >>> thoughts? >>> >>> Thank you for sharing The Work with me! Sandi >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> Quote
Guest guest Posted February 5, 2006 Report Posted February 5, 2006 Hey ! Nope I don't ). You could be right, and " Boundary and commitment " don't equate for me. I love that we don't share the same story... and what would it mean if we did? ) Commitment (my story): is moment to moment. It is until it isn't. Boundary: equals separation (my story). I don't see how the two connect. I like my story... it provides clarity for me. I like your story because it provides clarity for you. Thank you for sharing The Work with me ! Warmly, Sandi > >> > >> Dear , > >> > >>> I CAN'T set a boundary for another human BEING > >> true. > >> > >>> I CAN'T set a boundary for another > >> true. > >> > >>> I CAN'T set a boundary > >> ?? > >> > >> What is setting a boundary? > >> > >> Isn't it a commitement not to do something at any later given time? > >> And isn't that making an agreement with yourself? > >> > >> For what? > >> > >> Love, > >> > >> > >> Am 02.02.2006 um 22:55 schrieb : > >> > >>> After catching up on all the posts, I'm lost in thought and welcome > >>> discussion. I used to believe that " Boundaries " were healthy. As a > >>> counselor and therapist I was absolutely committed to > >>> " Boundaries. " My > >>> thought is that each boundary I set was for myself. I CAN'T set a > >>> boundary for another human BEING... impossible. I was in that dream > >>> for a very long time. It seems clear to me that the boundaries I > >>> set, > >>> were ways of avoiding myself, my superiority complex that I denied > >>> until this Work. Without this Work, I'd still be there. (How do I > >>> know > >>> I'm not still there? It doesn't hurt anymore.) A boundary allowed me > >>> to hide and avoid me... and thinking all the while that I needed > >>> protection from YOU (entirely " other " realized). I didn't notice ME. > >>> MY story is: a boundary is justification for separation. Any > >>> thoughts? > >>> > >>> I also notice that when someone does/says something that causes > >>> me to > >>> want to separate from them, I am no longer in the illusion of > >>> " THEM " , > >>> ... I know it's my story and I feel gratitude that I can once again, > >>> see my reflection with crystal clarity and come back to My Work. I > >>> don't notice myself wanting to be less separate from them, I only > >>> notice that my reaction is to withdraw. I notice that they are free > >>> and so am I. It is what it is until it changes. I don't notice > >>> that I > >>> suffer. It's much like burning my hand on a stove element. I know I > >>> don't want to be burned again, but I also respect the value and > >>> other > >>> uses of the hot element. I can make space for it, but I can also > >>> withdraw from the heat before it burns. Does that make any sense? > >>> Any > >>> thoughts? > >>> > >>> Thank you for sharing The Work with me! Sandi > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>> Quote
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