Cause and effect

[Guest guest]

UB: If good things happen to me, I must pay with something bad

happening to me.

1-Is this true?

I can see that the statement is illogical but I believe it to be

true.

2-Can you know that it's absolutely true?

I really can't know that it is really true. I can't possibly know if

two events are directly connected to each other.

It is actually causing a bit of anxiety questioning this belief-gee

this is really ingrained.

2a-Where's your proof?

When something *bad* happens to me I attribute it to something that I

did. Or I think that because something good happened to me (no

matter when) then the *bad* occurrence is the payback.

3-How do you treat yourself when you think that though?

I think that I don't deserve any good in my life. I dismiss my

accomplishments as " oh, it was nothing " . I try to please everyone as

to not upset the " gods " . I see EVERYTHING as having a cause and

effect. I live in an anxious state waiting for the *bad* to come

into my life. I restrict myself. I live in fear that I won't be

able to emotionally handle something *bad*. I don't enjoy good

things happening to me 'cause the boggie man is around the corner.

I am constantly on the lookout, vigilant, always jumpy. I find it

difficult to relax. It's a living hell.

3a-Can you see a reason to drop that thought? (And don't try to drop

it).

Yes, this is a very small world that I have created for myself.

3b-Can you see a stress-free reason to keep that thought?

I can't see one. I'm stressing just writing about it!

4-Who would you be without that thought?

I would see things that happen as neither good or bad. I would live

a fuller life. I would stop worrying about *consequences* of my

actions. I would treat myself as deserving of good things. I would

stop being so fearful. I wouldn't care what other people thought of

me. I would expand. I would trust the life process without trying

to find meaning as to why things happen. I would not attach to

outcomes. I would be so much happier and lighter. This really seems

like an attractive life!!

TAs-If good things happen to me, I must pay with something bad

happening to me.

-If good things happen to me, I don't pay with something bad

happening. Yeah, could be true. How can I know that the two are

related? They're just happenings.

-If good things happen to me, I must pay with bad thinking.

True. That's what I've been doing. Beating myself up in my head.

-If good things happen to me, my mind creates bad happenings. Yes, I

validate my belief by creating fear and anxiety. My mind punishes me

for having had something good happen.

I'm having problems with the TAs. Perhaps the original statement is

not worded for easy TAs(?). Umm, any help with this is appreciated.

I have done the work on other situations that cause me stress but

this underlying belief seems to be at the core of my insecurities and

anxieties.

Peace-

janet

[Guest guest]

Dear Janet,

Very interesting piece of Work.

What comes to me is to do The Work on:

" Things can happen to me. "

Is that true?

Seems like it is.

Can I really know that that is true?

No, I can't. These " things that appear to happen " could be just

stories that I tell myself in order to make " me " believe that a

separate " me " really exists.

Oh, now I can do The Work on " a separate " me " really exists " .

However, there is a story that this separate " me " really must get to

work for now. What a hoot!

Thank you Janet, Steve D.

> UB: If good things happen to me, I must pay with something bad

> happening to me.

>

> 1-Is this true?

> I can see that the statement is illogical but I believe it to be

> true.

>

> 2-Can you know that it's absolutely true?

> I really can't know that it is really true. I can't possibly know

if

> two events are directly connected to each other.

> It is actually causing a bit of anxiety questioning this belief-

gee

> this is really ingrained.

>

>

> 2a-Where's your proof?

> When something *bad* happens to me I attribute it to something that

I

> did. Or I think that because something good happened to me (no

> matter when) then the *bad* occurrence is the payback.

>

> 3-How do you treat yourself when you think that though?

> I think that I don't deserve any good in my life. I dismiss my

> accomplishments as " oh, it was nothing " . I try to please everyone

as

> to not upset the " gods " . I see EVERYTHING as having a cause and

> effect. I live in an anxious state waiting for the *bad* to come

> into my life. I restrict myself. I live in fear that I won't be

> able to emotionally handle something *bad*. I don't enjoy good

> things happening to me 'cause the boggie man is around the

corner.

> I am constantly on the lookout, vigilant, always jumpy. I find it

> difficult to relax. It's a living hell.

>

> 3a-Can you see a reason to drop that thought? (And don't try to

drop

> it).

> Yes, this is a very small world that I have created for myself.

>

> 3b-Can you see a stress-free reason to keep that thought?

> I can't see one. I'm stressing just writing about it!

>

> 4-Who would you be without that thought?

> I would see things that happen as neither good or bad. I would

live

> a fuller life. I would stop worrying about *consequences* of my

> actions. I would treat myself as deserving of good things. I

would

> stop being so fearful. I wouldn't care what other people thought

of

> me. I would expand. I would trust the life process without trying

> to find meaning as to why things happen. I would not attach to

> outcomes. I would be so much happier and lighter. This really

seems

> like an attractive life!!

>

> TAs-If good things happen to me, I must pay with something bad

> happening to me.

>

> -If good things happen to me, I don't pay with something bad

> happening. Yeah, could be true. How can I know that the two are

> related? They're just happenings.

> -If good things happen to me, I must pay with bad thinking.

> True. That's what I've been doing. Beating myself up in my head.

> -If good things happen to me, my mind creates bad happenings. Yes,

I

> validate my belief by creating fear and anxiety. My mind punishes

me

> for having had something good happen.

>

> I'm having problems with the TAs. Perhaps the original statement

is

> not worded for easy TAs(?). Umm, any help with this is

appreciated.

> I have done the work on other situations that cause me stress but

> this underlying belief seems to be at the core of my insecurities

and

> anxieties.

>

> Peace-

> janet

[Guest guest]

> TAs-If good things happen to me, I must pay with something bad

> happening to me.

>

> -If good things happen to me, I don't pay with something bad

> happening. Yeah, could be true. How can I know that the two are

> related? They're just happenings.

> -If good things happen to me, I must pay with bad thinking.

> True. That's what I've been doing. Beating myself up in my head.

> -If good things happen to me, my mind creates bad happenings. Yes, I

> validate my belief by creating fear and anxiety. My mind punishes me

> for having had something good happen.

>

> I'm having problems with the TAs. Perhaps the original statement is

> not worded for easy TAs(?). Umm, any help with this is appreciated.

> I have done the work on other situations that cause me stress but

> this underlying belief seems to be at the core of my insecurities and

> anxieties.

Hi, Janet. Your turn-arounds look fine to me. What's the problem you're

feeling with them?

Turn-arounds that occur to me are:

- If good things happen, I get to pay them forward. (I can do good for

the next person I encounter.)

- Everything that happens to me is " good " . (If I judge it good, I can

enjoy it. If I judge it bad, I can learn and grow from it.)

Tom