Re: Hating What Is - me too...For -Steve

[Guest guest]

> > > > I have been working on myself using The Work (in The Work,

> doing

> > > The

> > > > Work) for about eight months and I realised two or three

weeks

> > ago

> > > > that I was using The Work as I have used many other things

in

> my

> > > > life - to avoid, deny, run away from my feelings. So, I've

> taken

> > a

> > > > break from The Work for a while and I've been using some of

the

> > > > techniques outlined in The Pathway - in an attempt to

connect

> > with

> > > my

> > > > feelings.

> > > >

> > > > What I realised quite quickly was that I hate what is rather

> > than

> > > > love what is - interesting indeed. I also realised that I

am,

> > > > basically, depressed and experience 'bad or negative'

feelings

> > most

> > > > of the time. And because of these 'bad or negative' feelings

I

> > > > believe myself to be bad. Also interesting.

> > > >

> > > > Hence, I try to get away from me - using whatever I can -

> > including

> > > > The Work. It has been like a love affair. I fell madly in

love

> > with

> > > > The Work. I went crazy about it. I talked about it all the

> time.

> > I

> > > > listened to tapes everyday. I did The Work most days. It

> helped,

> > it

> > > > definitely helped - until I got stuck. It got me to this

point.

> > > >

> > > > I trust The Work, I still trust it. It is not The Work at

> fault,

> > I

> > > > see that clearly. It is my own thoughts about it - my own

wish

> > to

> > > > escape and use. But I am taking a break - that is, until the

> > > > intensive here in Stockholm at the end of the month.

> > > >

> > > > For now, and for the first time in my life, I am staying

with

> > the

> > > > depression. I am not trying to get out of it. I am sitting

in

> > it -

> > > > letting it be. Writing about it using The Pathway

techniques.

> It

> > > > feels like I need to do that.

> > > >

> > > > What is depression anyway? Just hating what is I guess. It

> seems

> > > that

> > > > for the first time in my life, I trust that it is OK to be

with

> > > what

> > > > is - even if what is is hating what is. So, I guess, that is

> > loving

> > > > what is - even if it is depression, lowness, negativity, and

> > misery.

> > > >

> > > > Just wanted to share all of that.

> > > > Niemen

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

I love what you have done with this Work! I agree, it is a

beginning. This is a really big one and can take a lot of Work to get

past it. Or Not. Thank you for being brave enough to do this piece.

Here is my suggestion for turnarounds on #2

I want my thinking to change.

I want my thinking to become lighter.

I want my thinking to be less heavy, especially around my body.

The body follows the mind. Remember 's definition of

Creation, " Think, Feel, Act and Have " .

So, when thinking says " I am too fat. " , and we believe that thought,

the body has no choice but to appear as too fat.

Go back to the question #5 and add to your list. Put down things

that you perceive that are both positive and negative. I know that

there are things abouot your appearance that you like and are proud

of. Put those down as well and then turn them around.

In #6 you said: " I don´t ever want to be this fat again. "

A suggestion is: " I am willing to be this fat, until I am not. "

You can not change what is. Diets and/or exercise won't work in the

long run until we realize that our body is not what we really care

about at all. What we care about is how we feel. We want to feel

love, approval and appreciation. How we feel has nothing to do with

our body and everything to do with the story that we are believing at

this moment. That is why I mentioned " dreamless sleep " and " sex " .

The story of " I am too fat " exists for only one reason and that is to

keep from noticing who she really is.

Notice how all of our apparent problems seem to relate to a body?

The body is too fat, parts of the body are too thin, parts of the

body are not beautiful enough, the body is tired, the body is too

cold, the body is too hot, the body is thirsty, the body is in pain,

the body is DYING! What a wonderful invention to keep us occupied

(body-realized) so we can not become self-realized.

, it sounds like perhaps your boyfriend has things figured out??

Love, Steve D.

> > Dear :

> >

> > What thoughts come to me are these:

> >

> > Keep in mind what your conclusion was from your last

Work: " Hating

> my

> > body has not made me lose weight. It makes me eat even more to

> calm

> > me down when the hating is too painful to stand. Which leads to

> more

> > wight gaining, instead of the opposite. "

> > This is fantastic news!

> >

> > Do The Work on " I hate my body, and I don´t like to hate it. "

> > I have filled in the answer to question #1, now you supply the

> > answers to questions 2 thru 6 and then apply the 4 questions and

> the

> > turn around to your answers and see what comes up.

> >

> > 1) What don't you like? Irritates you? Saddens or disappoints you?

> >

> > Answer: " I am upset because I hate my body, and I don´t like to

> hate

> > it. "

> Is it true? Yes. Can you absolutely know it is true? It seems to be

> true. However I don´t always hate it. But when I do it makes me

very

> sad. How do you react...? I don´t go out. I look down at myself. I

> eat more to numb my anxiety. Who would you be...? If I didn´t hate

> my body I would feel peaceful and not afraid. If hating my body

> didn´t upset me I would only have hate and not feeling guilty I

> guess. But hating doesn´t feel good ever. TA: I hate my thinking.

As

> true. My thinking hates my body. True.

> >

> > 2) How do you want your body to change or what do you want your

> body

> > to do?

>

> I want it to lose 35 pounds.

> Is it true? Yes. Is it true that it should? No. According to the

> physical laws you have to eat less calories than you usually do or

> spend more calories while moving than usual to lose weight, and I

> don´t. So how could I lose weight then? Impossible. Can you

> absolutely know you would be happier if you lost 35 pounds? No, I

> can´t. How do you react...? I am not content with my body as it is

> right now. I think I can´t be happy as long as I weigh this much.

> Who would you be...? Happy. Peaceful. I would go out and meet

> people. I would be open. I would take better care of my body. TA: I

> want my thinking to lose 35 pounds. I don´t know, I think these

> turnarounds are difficult to create and understand. Steve, can you

> help me here?

> >

> > 3) What is it that your body should or shouldn't do, be, or feel?

> > What advice could you offer your body?

>

> It should lose weight.

> Is it true? No. How do you react...? This thought make me resist my

> body, because it isn´t good enough as it is. It makes me sad. Who

> would you be...? Not handicaped anymore from my body´s appearence.

> Free to do what ever I want. TA: My body shouldn´t lose weight.

> True, reality. Maybe it will some day but it isn´t happening right

> now. My thinking should lose weight. Yes, the weight problem is in

> my head so...

> >

> > 4) Do you need anything from your body? What does your body need

> to

> > do in order for you to be happy?

>

> I need my body to look beautiful.

>

> Is it true? Yes. Your body should look beautiful. Is it true?

> Reality tells me that I don´t think so right now, so no, my body

> shouldn´t be beautiful to myself right now. How do you react...? I

> get very sad. I don´t want other people to look at me. Who would

you

> be...? I wouldn´t feel panic when I look at myself. It wouldn´t

> bother me if I have a thought that I am not beautiful. I could let

> it just pass and not start making conclusions of what it means,

such

> as " I am not as good as other people, I better hide myself from

> them " . TA: I need my thinking to look beautiful. Yes, truer. My

> thinking needs my body to look beautiful. Yes, it is all in my head.

> >

> > 5) What do you think of your body? Make a list.

>

> I think it is to fat. My thighs and stomach are too big.

> TA: My thinking is too fat. True, the overweight is in my thinking.

> My thighs and stomach are not too big. Yes, too big for what? My

> thinking is too big. Yes, too many thoughts about eating, looks,

> fatness.

> >

> > 6) What is it that you don't want to experience with your body

> again?

>

> I don´t ever want to be this fat again.

>

> TA: I look forward to be this fat again. Well, this is how I look

> right now, but I don´t exactly look forward to it even though I

know

> I probably would feel better then.

> >

> > Hint #1: Can you hate your body during dreamless sleep?

>

> True, no hate for anything there.

>

> Can you hate

> > your body while you are in the middle of a sexual climax?

>

> Smile, no I don´t think much of how my body looks during sex. And I

> never had. That´s a blessing!

> >

> > Hint #2: In your turn arounds, try replacing " my body " with " my

> > thinking " and then try replacing " I " with " my thinking " .

> >

> > Steve D.

>

> Thank you Steve, this was very hard for me to do. I believe that

> there probably is more work to do, much more, but it´s a start...

>

> Love,

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

I am new to this group and do not have the experience with Byron

's work as you do. I believe one needs to 'accept' before any

change can occur. Maybe accept your weight whatever it is as 'ok.'

Love your body, it is your temple for this earthly dimension we are

sharing right now.

> > > > > I have been working on myself using The Work (in The Work,

> > doing

> > > > The

> > > > > Work) for about eight months and I realised two or three

> weeks

> > > ago

> > > > > that I was using The Work as I have used many other things

> in

> > my

> > > > > life - to avoid, deny, run away from my feelings. So, I've

> > taken

> > > a

> > > > > break from The Work for a while and I've been using some

of

> the

> > > > > techniques outlined in The Pathway - in an attempt to

> connect

> > > with

> > > > my

> > > > > feelings.

> > > > >

> > > > > What I realised quite quickly was that I hate what is

rather

> > > than

> > > > > love what is - interesting indeed. I also realised that I

> am,

> > > > > basically, depressed and experience 'bad or negative'

> feelings

> > > most

> > > > > of the time. And because of these 'bad or negative'

feelings

> I

> > > > > believe myself to be bad. Also interesting.

> > > > >

> > > > > Hence, I try to get away from me - using whatever I can -

> > > including

> > > > > The Work. It has been like a love affair. I fell madly in

> love

> > > with

> > > > > The Work. I went crazy about it. I talked about it all the

> > time.

> > > I

> > > > > listened to tapes everyday. I did The Work most days. It

> > helped,

> > > it

> > > > > definitely helped - until I got stuck. It got me to this

> point.

> > > > >

> > > > > I trust The Work, I still trust it. It is not The Work at

> > fault,

> > > I

> > > > > see that clearly. It is my own thoughts about it - my own

> wish

> > > to

> > > > > escape and use. But I am taking a break - that is, until

the

> > > > > intensive here in Stockholm at the end of the month.

> > > > >

> > > > > For now, and for the first time in my life, I am staying

> with

> > > the

> > > > > depression. I am not trying to get out of it. I am sitting

> in

> > > it -

> > > > > letting it be. Writing about it using The Pathway

> techniques.

> > It

> > > > > feels like I need to do that.

> > > > >

> > > > > What is depression anyway? Just hating what is I guess. It

> > seems

> > > > that

> > > > > for the first time in my life, I trust that it is OK to be

> with

> > > > what

> > > > > is - even if what is is hating what is. So, I guess, that

is

> > > loving

> > > > > what is - even if it is depression, lowness, negativity,

and

> > > misery.

> > > > >

> > > > > Just wanted to share all of that.

> > > > > Niemen

[Guest guest]

Thank you for your reply!

Love,

> > > > > > I have been working on myself using The Work (in The

Work,

> > > doing

> > > > > The

> > > > > > Work) for about eight months and I realised two or three

> > weeks

> > > > ago

> > > > > > that I was using The Work as I have used many other

things

> > in

> > > my

> > > > > > life - to avoid, deny, run away from my feelings. So,

I've

> > > taken

> > > > a

> > > > > > break from The Work for a while and I've been using some

> of

> > the

> > > > > > techniques outlined in The Pathway - in an attempt to

> > connect

> > > > with

> > > > > my

> > > > > > feelings.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > What I realised quite quickly was that I hate what is

> rather

> > > > than

> > > > > > love what is - interesting indeed. I also realised that

I

> > am,

> > > > > > basically, depressed and experience 'bad or negative'

> > feelings

> > > > most

> > > > > > of the time. And because of these 'bad or negative'

> feelings

> > I

> > > > > > believe myself to be bad. Also interesting.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Hence, I try to get away from me - using whatever I can -

> > > > including

> > > > > > The Work. It has been like a love affair. I fell madly

in

> > love

> > > > with

> > > > > > The Work. I went crazy about it. I talked about it all

the

> > > time.

> > > > I

> > > > > > listened to tapes everyday. I did The Work most days. It

> > > helped,

> > > > it

> > > > > > definitely helped - until I got stuck. It got me to this

> > point.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I trust The Work, I still trust it. It is not The Work

at

> > > fault,

> > > > I

> > > > > > see that clearly. It is my own thoughts about it - my

own

> > wish

> > > > to

> > > > > > escape and use. But I am taking a break - that is, until

> the

> > > > > > intensive here in Stockholm at the end of the month.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > For now, and for the first time in my life, I am staying

> > with

> > > > the

> > > > > > depression. I am not trying to get out of it. I am

sitting

> > in

> > > > it -

> > > > > > letting it be. Writing about it using The Pathway

> > techniques.

> > > It

> > > > > > feels like I need to do that.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > What is depression anyway? Just hating what is I guess.

It

> > > seems

> > > > > that

> > > > > > for the first time in my life, I trust that it is OK to

be

> > with

> > > > > what

> > > > > > is - even if what is is hating what is. So, I guess,

that

> is

> > > > loving

> > > > > > what is - even if it is depression, lowness, negativity,

> and

> > > > misery.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Just wanted to share all of that.

> > > > > > Niemen