Guest guest Posted May 12, 2004 Report Share Posted May 12, 2004 Dear , thank you! It took a while for me to get this. When I first read your reply it was like I couldn´t take anymore in, my mind was blocked (spared =) ). I think I understand your point now and I´m grateful that you took your time writing to me. Love, > > I have a story that I need things. When I don´t get them I > sometimes > > discover that I didn´t need them, and sometimes I suffer. These > are > > the things I usually suffer when I don´t get: food and water, > the > > feeling that I´m not alone, love and cigarettes. I have decided > to > > investigate my needs. > > I think I need food and water. Why? Well, if I don´t get any I > will > > eventually die. Ok, so I need food and water to live. I see that I > > think that I need to live. Is it true? No of course not. When > I´m > > dead I certainly don´t need to live. However right now I am > alive > > and I don´t want to die. I want to stay alive and that is true > at > > this moment. Maybe I don´t have to worry about staying alive. > Whose > > business is it? I´m not sure. In some level mine, in some level > > God´s. I am not sure. Maybe it´s all God´s business. > > I need to feel that I´m not alone. Is it true? No. I feel lonely > > right now, so reality is telling me that I don´t need to feel > I´m > > not alone. > > I need love. Is it true? It seems to be true. I have love. I have > > always felt that someone loves me. I am lying when I say that I > > would suffer without love. The truth is that I have no idea how > that > > feeling would be because I have never expirienced it. I have felt > > love every single moment of my life. > > I need to smoke. Is it true? Well, I am smoking at this very minute > > so I guess it´s true. That doesn´t mean it has to be true in > five > > minutes. > > I am really afraid of emotionel pain. I do anything that I think > > will keep it away. That´s why I smoke, take sleepingpills, eat a > > lot, don´t see other people and don´t work. When I read this > last > > sentense I think to myself: this is not a healthy living. This is > > not the way to happiness. If someone else, for example my > daughter, > > would say to me that she was unhappy and suffered I would never > > recommaned her to smoke, take a lot of sleepingpills, isolate her > > self in an apartment, eat junkfood and watch TV all day. I don´t > > think I love myself very much since I have recommended it to > myself. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2004 Report Share Posted May 13, 2004 Hi , I have had the same experience. It seems like my mind will do the work " full speed ahead " for a while. Then it will wobble on its' axis, retrograde, and stop: shutdown for a while: No more work. Often I will backslide, at that point, " act out my issues/stories " as it were. Sometimes I move " full speed ahead " into my stories and act out on them with a greater intensity than before. Having taken one step backward, I then take two steps forward and continue on my path. I tell myself it is just as it should be: perfect. XO Joni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2004 Report Share Posted May 13, 2004 Dear , Take as long as you want! You get it when you get it. :-) The Work can be so simple, but only when it is. For me - it's the precious moments of clarity that keeps me coming back for more. Be kind to yourself! / **************** > > > I have a story that I need things. When I don´t get them I > > sometimes > > > discover that I didn´t need them, and sometimes I suffer. These > > are > > > the things I usually suffer when I don´t get: food and water, > > the > > > feeling that I´m not alone, love and cigarettes. I have decided > > to > > > investigate my needs. > > > I think I need food and water. Why? Well, if I don´t get any I > > will > > > eventually die. Ok, so I need food and water to live. I see that > I > > > think that I need to live. Is it true? No of course not. When > > I´m > > > dead I certainly don´t need to live. However right now I am > > alive > > > and I don´t want to die. I want to stay alive and that is true > > at > > > this moment. Maybe I don´t have to worry about staying alive. > > Whose > > > business is it? I´m not sure. In some level mine, in some level > > > God´s. I am not sure. Maybe it´s all God´s business. > > > I need to feel that I´m not alone. Is it true? No. I feel lonely > > > right now, so reality is telling me that I don´t need to feel > > I´m > > > not alone. > > > I need love. Is it true? It seems to be true. I have love. I > have > > > always felt that someone loves me. I am lying when I say that I > > > would suffer without love. The truth is that I have no idea how > > that > > > feeling would be because I have never expirienced it. I have > felt > > > love every single moment of my life. > > > I need to smoke. Is it true? Well, I am smoking at this very > minute > > > so I guess it´s true. That doesn´t mean it has to be true in > > five > > > minutes. > > > I am really afraid of emotionel pain. I do anything that I think > > > will keep it away. That´s why I smoke, take sleepingpills, eat a > > > lot, don´t see other people and don´t work. When I read this > > last > > > sentense I think to myself: this is not a healthy living. This > is > > > not the way to happiness. If someone else, for example my > > daughter, > > > would say to me that she was unhappy and suffered I would never > > > recommaned her to smoke, take a lot of sleepingpills, isolate > her > > > self in an apartment, eat junkfood and watch TV all day. I don´t > > > think I love myself very much since I have recommended it to > > myself. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2004 Report Share Posted May 13, 2004 Love to you ! You seems like such a nice person... Glad you are here! Love, > > > > I have a story that I need things. When I don´t get them I > > > sometimes > > > > discover that I didn´t need them, and sometimes I suffer. > These > > > are > > > > the things I usually suffer when I don´t get: food and water, > > > the > > > > feeling that I´m not alone, love and cigarettes. I have decided > > > to > > > > investigate my needs. > > > > I think I need food and water. Why? Well, if I don´t get any I > > > will > > > > eventually die. Ok, so I need food and water to live. I see that > > I > > > > think that I need to live. Is it true? No of course not. When > > > I´m > > > > dead I certainly don´t need to live. However right now I am > > > alive > > > > and I don´t want to die. I want to stay alive and that is true > > > at > > > > this moment. Maybe I don´t have to worry about staying > alive. > > > Whose > > > > business is it? I´m not sure. In some level mine, in some > level > > > > God´s. I am not sure. Maybe it´s all God´s business. > > > > I need to feel that I´m not alone. Is it true? No. I feel lonely > > > > right now, so reality is telling me that I don´t need to feel > > > I´m > > > > not alone. > > > > I need love. Is it true? It seems to be true. I have love. I > > have > > > > always felt that someone loves me. I am lying when I say that > I > > > > would suffer without love. The truth is that I have no idea > how > > > that > > > > feeling would be because I have never expirienced it. I have > > felt > > > > love every single moment of my life. > > > > I need to smoke. Is it true? Well, I am smoking at this very > > minute > > > > so I guess it´s true. That doesn´t mean it has to be true in > > > five > > > > minutes. > > > > I am really afraid of emotionel pain. I do anything that I think > > > > will keep it away. That´s why I smoke, take sleepingpills, eat > a > > > > lot, don´t see other people and don´t work. When I read this > > > last > > > > sentense I think to myself: this is not a healthy living. This > > is > > > > not the way to happiness. If someone else, for example my > > > daughter, > > > > would say to me that she was unhappy and suffered I would > never > > > > recommaned her to smoke, take a lot of sleepingpills, isolate > > her > > > > self in an apartment, eat junkfood and watch TV all day. I > don´t > > > > think I love myself very much since I have recommended it to > > > myself. > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2004 Report Share Posted May 13, 2004 And love to you! By the way - there is a Swedish list (the_work_svenska) on yahoo if you " want/need " to express yourself in Swedish. / ************* > > > > > I have a story that I need things. When I don´t get them I > > > > sometimes > > > > > discover that I didn´t need them, and sometimes I suffer. > > These > > > > are > > > > > the things I usually suffer when I don´t get: food and water, > > > > the > > > > > feeling that I´m not alone, love and cigarettes. I have > decided > > > > to > > > > > investigate my needs. > > > > > I think I need food and water. Why? Well, if I don´t get any > I > > > > will > > > > > eventually die. Ok, so I need food and water to live. I see > that > > > I > > > > > think that I need to live. Is it true? No of course not. When > > > > I´m > > > > > dead I certainly don´t need to live. However right now I am > > > > alive > > > > > and I don´t want to die. I want to stay alive and that is > true > > > > at > > > > > this moment. Maybe I don´t have to worry about staying > > alive. > > > > Whose > > > > > business is it? I´m not sure. In some level mine, in some > > level > > > > > God´s. I am not sure. Maybe it´s all God´s business. > > > > > I need to feel that I´m not alone. Is it true? No. I feel > lonely > > > > > right now, so reality is telling me that I don´t need to feel > > > > I´m > > > > > not alone. > > > > > I need love. Is it true? It seems to be true. I have love. I > > > have > > > > > always felt that someone loves me. I am lying when I say > that > > I > > > > > would suffer without love. The truth is that I have no idea > > how > > > > that > > > > > feeling would be because I have never expirienced it. I have > > > felt > > > > > love every single moment of my life. > > > > > I need to smoke. Is it true? Well, I am smoking at this very > > > minute > > > > > so I guess it´s true. That doesn´t mean it has to be true in > > > > five > > > > > minutes. > > > > > I am really afraid of emotionel pain. I do anything that I > think > > > > > will keep it away. That´s why I smoke, take sleepingpills, > eat > > a > > > > > lot, don´t see other people and don´t work. When I read this > > > > last > > > > > sentense I think to myself: this is not a healthy living. > This > > > is > > > > > not the way to happiness. If someone else, for example my > > > > daughter, > > > > > would say to me that she was unhappy and suffered I would > > never > > > > > recommaned her to smoke, take a lot of sleepingpills, > isolate > > > her > > > > > self in an apartment, eat junkfood and watch TV all day. I > > don´t > > > > > think I love myself very much since I have recommended it to > > > > myself. > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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