Guest guest Posted November 19, 2004 Report Share Posted November 19, 2004 lsnowbarger@... writes that she wishes she'd had amniocenteis: > The reason for knowing ahead of time is so that I could be better prepared > mentally at Emma's birth. > Dear Lynelle, You wrote so movingly about how having a baby changes our lives, that I want to respectfully respond to the thought that having a prenatal diagnosis would be an advantage. Sometimes it's best not to know what a baby brings. I have six grown children, only one has Down syndrome, and it would have terrified me to know prenatally what all was going to happen to and with them in the last 40 years! Amniocentesis can tell you about your babies' chromosome count, but that is a trivial amount of information. Normal chromosomes are a false promise of a normal life, as if that was all that counts. Think about the parents who suffer with so-called normal children who are drug dependent runaways, for example. And remember that far less accidents occur at conception than on our streets every day, to wonder with the parents of a normal child whose life as they knew it was disrupted, " Why did this happen? " When Christi was acting in the ensemble of Romeo & t recently, the mother of one of the male leads brought her flowers, and said to me, " Be thankful she has Down syndrome. Our daughter can neither walk nor speak. " Amniocentesis can tell you about Emma's chromosomes, but it couldn't tell you about her smile. An amnio can't tell you how it feels to hold this precious child who you accept, and how she'll change your life because you will spend it trying to see to it that she is accepted. Amniocentesis cannot tell you about her heart or her intestines or her speech or her IQ, but it can make you stress heavily about them, influencing your physical health for the duration of gestation. This is your child, and I believe that the best way to prepare yourselves in future pregnancies is to remember that you'll love the baby growing inside you, no matter whether or not it is now or will grow up to be what is considered " normal. " The best preparation is not amnio; it's starting that acceptance within yourself before you meet her. Judie, mother of Christi, 25 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 19, 2004 Report Share Posted November 19, 2004 Thank you, Kristy. Judie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 20, 2004 Report Share Posted November 20, 2004 Judi, That was a wonderful analogy of pregnancy, childbirth, and what it means to be a parent. Thank you for your comments. I will keep these close to my heart and I hope that we will be able to use these comments in the future to help other parents understand what it is like to have a child with Mosaic Down syndrome. Thanks, Kristy jhockel@... wrote: lsnowbarger@... writes that she wishes she'd had amniocenteis: > The reason for knowing ahead of time is so that I could be better prepared > mentally at Emma's birth. > Dear Lynelle, You wrote so movingly about how having a baby changes our lives, that I want to respectfully respond to the thought that having a prenatal diagnosis would be an advantage. Sometimes it's best not to know what a baby brings. I have six grown children, only one has Down syndrome, and it would have terrified me to know prenatally what all was going to happen to and with them in the last 40 years! Amniocentesis can tell you about your babies' chromosome count, but that is a trivial amount of information. Normal chromosomes are a false promise of a normal life, as if that was all that counts. Think about the parents who suffer with so-called normal children who are drug dependent runaways, for example. And remember that far less accidents occur at conception than on our streets every day, to wonder with the parents of a normal child whose life as they knew it was disrupted, " Why did this happen? " When Christi was acting in the ensemble of Romeo & t recently, the mother of one of the male leads brought her flowers, and said to me, " Be thankful she has Down syndrome. Our daughter can neither walk nor speak. " Amniocentesis can tell you about Emma's chromosomes, but it couldn't tell you about her smile. An amnio can't tell you how it feels to hold this precious child who you accept, and how she'll change your life because you will spend it trying to see to it that she is accepted. Amniocentesis cannot tell you about her heart or her intestines or her speech or her IQ, but it can make you stress heavily about them, influencing your physical health for the duration of gestation. This is your child, and I believe that the best way to prepare yourselves in future pregnancies is to remember that you'll love the baby growing inside you, no matter whether or not it is now or will grow up to be what is considered " normal. " The best preparation is not amnio; it's starting that acceptance within yourself before you meet her. Judie, mother of Christi, 25 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2004 Report Share Posted November 28, 2004 Beautifully said. Donna -- Re: Changes in life lsnowbarger@... writes that she wishes she'd had amniocenteis: > The reason for knowing ahead of time is so that I could be better prepared > mentally at Emma's birth. > Dear Lynelle, You wrote so movingly about how having a baby changes our lives, that I want to respectfully respond to the thought that having a prenatal diagnosis would be an advantage. Sometimes it's best not to know what a baby brings. I have six grown children, only one has Down syndrome, and it would have terrified me to know prenatally what all was going to happen to and with them in the last 40 years! Amniocentesis can tell you about your babies' chromosome count, but that is a trivial amount of information. Normal chromosomes are a false promise of a normal life, as if that was all that counts. Think about the parents who suffer with so-called normal children who are drug dependent runaways, for example. And remember that far less accidents occur at conception than on our streets every day, to wonder with the parents of a normal child whose life as they knew it was disrupted, " Why did this happen? When Christi was acting in the ensemble of Romeo & t recently, the mother of one of the male leads brought her flowers, and said to me, " Be thankful she has Down syndrome. Our daughter can neither walk nor speak. " Amniocentesis can tell you about Emma's chromosomes, but it couldn't tell you about her smile. An amnio can't tell you how it feels to hold this precious child who you accept, and how she'll change your life because you will spend it trying to see to it that she is accepted. Amniocentesis cannot tell you about her heart or her intestines or her speech or her IQ, but it can make you stress heavily about them, influencing your physical health for the duration of gestation. This is your child, and I believe that the best way to prepare yourselves in future pregnancies is to remember that you'll love the baby growing inside you, no matter whether or not it is now or will grow up to be what is considered " normal. " The best preparation is not amnio; it's starting that acceptance within yourself before you meet her. Judie, mother of Christi, 25 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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