Re: I NEED to know who I am without the stressful thought (Eva)

[Guest guest]

Hi Tom,

> For me, what has typically come up when I ask that question is

what's

> left without the stress of the thought -- comfort, relaxedness,

> clarity, know-ticing that the knowing is not knowing and the no-ing

is

> yes-ing ...

yes, it used to be like that for me too, only lately it has changed

somewhat, i don't know why.

Maybe it'll change back again as well...

Thinking of 'all-of-me' instead of emptiness appears to be helpful,

for now...

Love,

Eva

[Guest guest]

Hi nne,

> Dear Eva,

>

> I remember my guru nne on writing that we are not so

> afraid of the Terrible Thing that we might see when was ask the

> question *who am I*; rather, we are more terrified of our glorious

nature.

>

Why would that be more terrifying than emptiness?

> I can't wait for you to see yourself without your stories....you

will

> be amazed...

Thank you, nne...

I suppose it will happen when it happens.... :-)

Love,

Eva

[Guest guest]

Hi Eva,

Oh, I think I was addressing the question *who am I* more than your

specific question about number 4 *who am I, what am I without this

thought*.

I thought that was what you were asking...hmmmm

I really like to dive into number 3 too and see all the ways that I

live my life when I believe a thought. Then, when I ask number 4, it

feels like I'm dumping out a glass of very muddy water and I become an

empty vessel that can hold all the thoughts and feelings with love

instead of fighting them...

My glorious nature would be a clear and open vessel that can hold all

the thoughts that come to me with unconditional love.

Love,

nne

> > Dear Eva,

> >

> > I remember my guru nne on writing that we are not so

> > afraid of the Terrible Thing that we might see when was ask the

> > question *who am I*; rather, we are more terrified of our glorious

> nature.

> >

>

> Why would that be more terrifying than emptiness?

>

> > I can't wait for you to see yourself without your stories....you

> will

> > be amazed...

>

> Thank you, nne...

>

> I suppose it will happen when it happens.... :-)

>

> Love,

> Eva

[Guest guest]

Hi Gloria,

> Hi, Eva. After sending " ...what does 'emptiness' mean to you? "

thought arose: " What does 'emptiness' not mean to you? "

> Namaste.

>

thank you very much, this was quite enlightening.

When I ask myself " Who am I? " I feel emptiness and emptiness means

cold, loneliness.

It's a dark, uninhabited place, deserted.

It's the earth after the sun has died and everything on the planet is

bleak and barren.

And not even that.... even that has gone....

It means I'll lose all points of reference. It means I'll lose my

boundaries, I will dissolve, disappear.

If I go there, not a trace will be left of me.

And there is no-one and no-thing. The Void.

Not even space.

The end of everything.

Scary.

And emptiness does not mean love, it does not mean happiness or joy.

It's the absence of everything.

Can I really know that the emptiness I suspect to be there is like

that?

No.

How do I feel when I think that emptiness is a scary, bleak, unloving

place?

I hesitate to inquire into the question " who am I without the

stressful thought? " , I feel I get stuck.

Afraid of what there might be beyond the stories.

I think that I should get over my fear. I think that I should not

think about it so much. :-)

I try to find ways of making the emptiness an attractive place, so I

will not be afraid anymore. I think my spiritual development will

grind to a halt because of this fear. I buy books, I ask for advice.

Who would I be if I didn't (or couldn't) think the thought that the

emptiness beyond the " who am I " was a scary, unwelcoming place to be?

I'd just dive into it, head over heels.. :-)

Turn around:

-- The emptiness is NOT a scary, unwelcoming place to be.

So far, I haven't really been there, I think... it's just a story....

-- Where I am now is an empty, scary, unwelcoming place. Yes, TRUE,

whenever I think of the emptiness that's beyond the question 'who am

I?'

-- My thoughts make the emptiness beyond the question 'who am I?' a

scary, unwelcoming place.

TRUE, it's my thoughts that make the beyond territory terrifying.

Need to sit with all this some more.

Thank you!

Love,

Eva

[Guest guest]

> When I ask myself " Who am I? " I feel emptiness and emptiness means

> cold, loneliness.

> It's a dark, uninhabited place, deserted.

> It's the earth after the sun has died and everything on the planet is

> bleak and barren.

> And not even that.... even that has gone....

> It means I'll lose all points of reference. It means I'll lose my

> boundaries, I will dissolve, disappear.

> If I go there, not a trace will be left of me.

> And there is no-one and no-thing. The Void.

> Not even space.

> The end of everything.

> Scary.

Eva:

I loved your post. You wrote so poetically, so lyrically. I wanted to go into

the

emptiness myself and feel what it was like.

I thought of these turnarounds:

The emptiness is the beginning of everything.

The emptiness is the birthplace of all.

I am the beginning of everything.

I am the emptiness.

I am the fullness.

The emptiness is me

I choose the emptiness.

The emptiness is full of light.

I embrace the nothingness.