Guest guest Posted March 30, 2004 Report Share Posted March 30, 2004 Hi everyone... I'd like to share the following because I am really struggling with raising= my two year old right now. This is the first time I have done the work online... I am frustrated and angry at Issie because she is difficult and demanding. = I need Issie to be calm and peaceful. I want Issie's tantrums to stop. I want Issie to stop lashing out at me. Issie is difficult, angry, beautiful, creative, dynamic, frustrated, hard w= ork, overactive, demanding, loving, funny. Here goes… I am frustrated at Issie because she is difficult and demanding. Is it true that Issie is difficult and demanding? No How do you react when you believe the thought Issie is difficult and demand= ing? I think that I am the only person in the world to be contending with this. = I feel angry and upset, I resent being with her. I feel depressed and hopeless. I think = that I will never want any other children. I say to myself " Why do I have to always put= up with this shit? " And then I feel bad because I am not appreciating our special t= ime together. I compare her to my friends kids and think that she is dysfunctional, I com= plain to my friends and they reinforce my story! I treat Issie with contempt. I convince myself that she is cunning and mani= pulative. I read all the Child Behaviour manuals, frantically looking for the `answer' = and even when I've found it I still end up shouting at her! I feel confused and dazed and like life is shit… Who would you be without the belief that Issie is difficult and demanding? I would be a Mother who loves her child unconditionally. I would be accepti= ng and loving, I would enjoy our time together. I would not be embarrassed when sh= e gets upset in public. I would be happy. Turnaround… I am frustrated and angry at myself because I am difficult and demanding. -= true I am frustrated and angry at my thinking because it is difficult and demand= ing (of Issie and myself) – yeah that's truer. I need Issie to be calm and peaceful. Is it true? No How do you react when you believe the thought I need Issie to be calm and p= eaceful? Well I hate the fact that she isn't. The reality is that she isn't always c= alm or peaceful because she is two years old and wants what she wants when she wants it! I = get angry with her, I feel exhausted and resentful. I see my life as a trial and chor= e. I feel depressed and bitter. I always want it to be different. Who would you be without the thought I need Issie to be calm and peaceful? Well I guess I would be calm and peaceful! Maybe I am the teacher as = says.? I would be happy and relaxed, accepting of the ups and downs of parenthood. Turnaround… I need my thinking to be calm and peaceful – Truer… Issie needs my thinking to be calm and peaceful… I do not need Issie to be calm and peaceful – true I want Issie's tantrums to stop. Is it true? Yes Can you absolutely know that you want Issie's tantrums to stop? What's the = reality of it? No because the reality is that she is two years old and having all sorts of= wants and needs going on. How do you react when you think the thought I want Issie's tantrums to stop= ? Again I feel depressed and resentful. My patience wears thin very quickly a= nd I shout very easily. I end up having a tantrum back… Who would you be without the thought I want Issie's tantrums to stop? I would be accepting of the fact that she has them. I would not `lose it' w= ith her so readily. I would empathise with her frustration and communicate that in a s= ympathetic way. Turnaround… I do not want Issie's tantrums to stop – true, she is expressing herself th= at's all. I want my tantrum's to stop – Truer. I want Issie to stop lashing out at me. Is it true? No How do you react when you think the thought? Hopeless and resentful. I sometimes lash out at her both emotionally and ph= ysically by being rough or slapping her hand. This makes me feel worse. Who would you be without the thought I want Issie to stop lashing out? I would be accepting of her frustrations, I would love her unconditionally,= I would be accepting of her needs and impulses. I would be free from resentment and bi= tterness. Turnaround… I do not want Issie to stop lashing out – true. I want me to stop lashing out at Issie – truer. I want me to stop lashing out at me…? Issie is difficult, angry, beautiful, creative, dynamic, frustrated, hard w= ork, overactive, demanding, loving, funny. Is it true? Yes Can you absolutely know that it's true? No, although she is the positive words isn't she? How do you react when you think the thought? I love the good words and hate the bad. I feel challenged by the negative w= ords. I feel like I have a hard job to do. Who would you be without the thought? I would be accepting of everything she has to give, I would see her life as= a wonderful gift to the world. I would love her unconditionally. Turnaround… I am difficult, angry, beautiful, creative, dynamic, frustrated, hard work,= overactive (particularly in my thinking!), demanding, loving and funny…definitely true= r. I would really appreciate some feedback here, as I am still very new to the= work. Thanks for your help everyone Love Odette xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2004 Report Share Posted March 30, 2004 Hi Odette... Thanks for sharing your work online...I always learn from others work! I had a thought of another appoarch to the work. I have found this part of the work very useful for me to get to underlining issues that I don't see on the surface. You might or might not find it helpful. Issie is difficult and demanding and that means.... Issie is not calm and peaceful and that means.... Issie has tantrums and that means.... Issie lashes out at me and that means... Then put the four questions to what came up to " and that means " . It's funny as I'm writing this I realized an area that I need to do more work in! Thanks! With graditute ~ Lanett > Hi everyone... > > I'd like to share the following because I am really struggling with raising= > my two year > old right now. > This is the first time I have done the work online... > > > I am frustrated and angry at Issie because she is difficult and demanding. = > > I need Issie to be calm and peaceful. > I want Issie's tantrums to stop. > I want Issie to stop lashing out at me. > > Issie is difficult, angry, beautiful, creative, dynamic, frustrated, hard w= > ork, overactive, > demanding, loving, funny. > > > Here goes… > > I am frustrated at Issie because she is difficult and demanding. > > Is it true that Issie is difficult and demanding? > > No > > How do you react when you believe the thought Issie is difficult and demand= > ing? > > I think that I am the only person in the world to be contending with this. = > I feel angry > and upset, I resent being with her. I feel depressed and hopeless. I think = > that I will > never want any other children. I say to myself " Why do I have to always put= > up with > this shit? " And then I feel bad because I am not appreciating our special t= > ime together. > I compare her to my friends kids and think that she is dysfunctional, I com= > plain to my > friends and they reinforce my story! > I treat Issie with contempt. I convince myself that she is cunning and mani= > pulative. I > read all the Child Behaviour manuals, frantically looking for the `answer' = > and even > when I've found it I still end up shouting at her! > I feel confused and dazed and like life is shit… > > Who would you be without the belief that Issie is difficult and demanding? > > I would be a Mother who loves her child unconditionally. I would be accepti= > ng and > loving, I would enjoy our time together. I would not be embarrassed when sh= > e gets > upset in public. I would be happy. > > Turnaround… > > I am frustrated and angry at myself because I am difficult and demanding. -= > true > I am frustrated and angry at my thinking because it is difficult and demand= > ing (of Issie > and myself) – yeah that's truer. > > > I need Issie to be calm and peaceful. > > Is it true? > > No > > How do you react when you believe the thought I need Issie to be calm and p= > eaceful? > > Well I hate the fact that she isn't. The reality is that she isn't always c= > alm or peaceful > because she is two years old and wants what she wants when she wants it! I = > get angry > with her, I feel exhausted and resentful. I see my life as a trial and chor= > e. I feel > depressed and bitter. I always want it to be different. > > Who would you be without the thought I need Issie to be calm and peaceful? > > Well I guess I would be calm and peaceful! Maybe I am the teacher as = > says.? I > would be happy and relaxed, accepting of the ups and downs of parenthood. > > Turnaround… > > I need my thinking to be calm and peaceful – Truer… > Issie needs my thinking to be calm and peaceful… > I do not need Issie to be calm and peaceful – true > > I want Issie's tantrums to stop. > > Is it true? > > Yes > > Can you absolutely know that you want Issie's tantrums to stop? What's the = > reality of > it? > > No because the reality is that she is two years old and having all sorts of= > wants and > needs going on. > > How do you react when you think the thought I want Issie's tantrums to stop= > ? > > Again I feel depressed and resentful. My patience wears thin very quickly a= > nd I shout > very easily. I end up having a tantrum back… > > Who would you be without the thought I want Issie's tantrums to stop? > > I would be accepting of the fact that she has them. I would not `lose it' w= > ith her so > readily. I would empathise with her frustration and communicate that in a s= > ympathetic > way. > > Turnaround… > > I do not want Issie's tantrums to stop – true, she is expressing herself th= > at's all. > I want my tantrum's to stop – Truer. > > I want Issie to stop lashing out at me. > > Is it true? > > No > > How do you react when you think the thought? > > Hopeless and resentful. I sometimes lash out at her both emotionally and ph= > ysically > by being rough or slapping her hand. This makes me feel worse. > > Who would you be without the thought I want Issie to stop lashing out? > > I would be accepting of her frustrations, I would love her unconditionally,= > I would be > accepting of her needs and impulses. I would be free from resentment and bi= > tterness. > > Turnaround… > > I do not want Issie to stop lashing out – true. > I want me to stop lashing out at Issie – truer. > I want me to stop lashing out at me…? > > > Issie is difficult, angry, beautiful, creative, dynamic, frustrated, hard w= > ork, overactive, > demanding, loving, funny. > > Is it true? > > Yes > > Can you absolutely know that it's true? > > No, although she is the positive words isn't she? > > How do you react when you think the thought? > > I love the good words and hate the bad. I feel challenged by the negative w= > ords. I feel > like I have a hard job to do. > > Who would you be without the thought? > > I would be accepting of everything she has to give, I would see her life as= > a wonderful > gift to the world. I would love her unconditionally. > > Turnaround… > > I am difficult, angry, beautiful, creative, dynamic, frustrated, hard work,= > overactive > (particularly in my thinking!), demanding, loving and funny… definitely true= > r. > > > I would really appreciate some feedback here, as I am still very new to the= > work. > > Thanks for your help everyone > > Love > Odette > xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2004 Report Share Posted March 30, 2004 wow, odette, thanks for doing that work. (i have a 2 and a 5 yo and i'm right with you...) the only feedback i can think to contribute is if you want to go further with this, here are some thoughts from your work that i would question to see if they're true (and may well do so myself!) I am really struggling with raising my two year old right now. I have to always put up with this shit " I am not appreciating our special time together. oops, i'm sorry, my kids are in conflict and my husband has tagged me to take over. i'll try to finish this later... but thank you again for posting your work, warmly, susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2004 Report Share Posted March 30, 2004 Dear Odette, Thank you for courageously sharing your Work with us! Here is some feedback for ya. " I have to be perfect in order to love Issie unconditionally. " Is it true? " Loving Issie unconditionally means it's not okay to lose my temper sometimes, it's not okay to be confused sometimes, it's not okay to be embarrassed in public sometimes, it's not okay to be exhausted sometimes, it's not okay to feel resentful sometimes, and it means I should always be happy and relaxed and accepting. " Is it true? If you turn this next one around, Odette, I *swear* it will be the perfect prescription for you! Prove me wrong, okay? " I need to be more loving, accepting, patient, understanding, and forgiving toward Issie. " Lots of love to you, and to the lucky little one who has you for a mom. Kheyala Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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