RE: meltdowns

[Guest guest]

My 14 yo daughter is obsessed with

Radcliffe...Harry Potter movies and books

Lord of the Rings movies

fantasy in general....the real world is too threatening to her, I think!

-----Original Message-----From: katy wicks Sent: Wednesday, January 22, 2003 3:29 PMTo: autism-aspergers Subject: RE: meltdowns

CANDICE H AND HEATHER Thankyou so much for replying to my e-mail. Because off Louis behaviour I can count the true friends I have on one hand. And although they try to understand they cant truely, so it is so nice to communicate with people that are living it themselves. Although I would not wish aspergers on any family, it is comforting to know we are not the only ones. I do feel lonely as Louis, I feel is looked on by other parents as some uncontrolable spoilt bratt who also happens to be a bit strange, but I am learning to be strong and I have found that learning to except the aspergers and coming to terms with it is helping no end. It was Louis school who first suspected A S and when it was finally diagnosed I got my head out of the sand and started researching. Louis behaviour has recently got worse, its been since moving up a year and when I questioned his new teacher i found out why!! Her policy is to treat Louis the same as all the other children. What a disaster! Weather I like it or not he is different and can not be treated exactly the same as the others. A year ago I would have hated myself for saying that statement but it is true. Now since obtaining more info the said teacher has changed some stratogies and things are improving (slightly) Anyway I would love to hear from anyone about what their child has a fascination about and to what extremes they go. My son wishes he was a bloody princess!!!! As if things arent hard enough! and thats another story . Hope to hear from you soon BEST WISHES KATY Peck wrote:

I laughed out loud when I read about ’s “choices”. It is something that Trevor, my 6 yo, would do. He has the same type of meltdowns, too.

Bec

[Guest guest]

Debi. I have had the exact meltdown more times than I can count. It's not

over carwashes, but other things and I have managed to get a handle on it.

But its just Skylar and myself. The last couple of weeks however, the

tears just start flowing, or you can see it on his face.

Today, my 2 1/2yr old granddaughter came over and started messing with his

legos. Imagine this one. My 2 daughters (19 and 25)had gone in my room,

quietly shut the door and curled up in bed. (it was cold and it was the

older ones b'day yesterday so she went out) That leaves me with the 3 of

them. 8yr old Skylar, 6yr old Zaria and 2 1/2yr old Shaylah. In a VERY small

apt. Shay got the legos, Zaria was on the playstation and Sky was having a

fit. Shay was taking apart his " creations " then she was playing with the hot

wheels track and Sky didn't know where to turn next. Then one of the girls

said something about " taking a toy with them " when they leave. That was the

end. Since Sky takes everything very literally, he started yelling " you

can't have that " . Shay started crying very loudly cause she has to share,

The 2 big ones are in the bedroom with Zaria laughing, and in walks my Dad

with cigarettes for the 19 yr old. Now everyone is laughing and being

funny, but Sky wants to know if Pop Pop bought him candy. NO candy, now the

2 girls want candy and my neighbor upstairs comes in wanting my daughter to

move the car cause she is blocked in. Now, everyone is looking for shoes,

jackets, clothes and then......PEACE. Sky curls up on the couch to watch

Yu-Gi-oh, Jen(19)is on the phone under the blankets in bed, but it is quiet.

The " troops " are gone down to PopPops house which is a lot bigger than my

house. I remind Sky that the girls are only wanting to play with his

things and they are not gonna take anything. Now we need to pick up the toys

cause I need to vaccum. Now comes the noise about not making the stinkin

mess so why should he have to clean it up. Ole well, another day

another laugh.

P.S. Jen has been here a few days with a black eye and she has NO

patience with him. Sharon in So Jersey

>

>Reply-To: autism-aspergers

>To: autism-aspergers

>Subject: meltdowns

>Date: Tue, 21 Jan 2003 20:14:52 -0800

>

>I know that for us it has really helped to isolate (6) when he is

>having a meltdown. He is really in to " rules, " so we told him the " rule "

>is

>if he is going to be angry, he has to go to his room. So, as soon as he

>starts to get angry and yell, or throw things or try to hurt his sister or

>I, I tell him he has to go to his room. The surprising thing is it

>works!!!

>He will stomp up the stairs and bang his door and sometimes I can hear all

>kinds of terrible noises coming from his room, but at least he is not

>impacting the rest of the family. It usually only takes 10-15 minutes and

>he comes back down. We always just let it go and go on with business, then

>sometime later, when he is really calm, I will talk with him about a better

>way to handle the situation.

>

>Like this evening, for instance. The car was low on gas and I decided to

>run it through the car wash while I was getting gas. This is one of

>'s

>favorite things, but I don't do it often. Well, we were waiting inside

>watching the other cars going through. Our car was next in line when there

>was a horrible crunching sound and everything shut down!!! Oh no!!!! The

>mechanism was broken. Well, the folks washed all the cars still in line by

>hand and it turned out clean enough, but this was not enough for !!

>He

>was practically hysterical that our car did not go through the machine (one

>of his obsessions is gears and machinery). So here I am with an hysterical

>6 year old screaming about the " stupid " car wash and the " idiots " who run

>it

>and how when we leave this place we are going to another car wash. Well,

>with my heart about as low as it can go and really wishing the ground would

>just swallow me up then and there, I knew we were in for a major meltdown.

>Now, I could have agreed to take the car to another carwash. That would

>have satisfied him and we would have avoided the meltdown. But, it just

>did

>not feel like the right thing to do. It was already 5PM, my older daughter

>had lots of homework to do and I had dinner to fix. So I strapped the

>screaming 6 year old in to his carseat (thank goodness he only weighs 38

>pounds and still has to be in a carseat!!!) and drove home, all the while

>listening to a barrage of words from the back seat telling me how stupid I

>was and how he hated me and how I better turn this car around or he was

>going to make me. When we pulled in to the driveway, he started a major

>high-pitched screaming fit. Again, thank goodness he is only 38 pounds!!!

>I carried him in to the house, set him on the front landing, pointed up the

>stairs and said, (very calmly I think after what he had put me through!)

> " GET UPSTAIRS RIGHT NOW AND I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOU UNTIL YOU CAN ACT

>HUMAN

>AGAIN!!!! " (OK, it was not so calm. I am sure the neighbors were

>wondering....)

>

>

>THUMP, THUMP, THUMP upstairs. BANG, BANG, BANG, goes the door (how strong

>are those hinges, anyway???). But my daughter and I unpack the car and she

>starts her homework and I start dinner. After a while, down comes .

> " Mom, I am going to give you two choices. "

>

> " OK "

>

> " Take the car back out to another carwash or take the car back out to

>another carwash "

>

> " Sorry, try again. I already told you I am not going back to another

>carwash. Besides, that was just one choice. "

>

> " I hate you. "

>

> " Back up to your room. "

>

>THUMP THUMP THUMP, BANG BANG BANG!!!

>

>Quiet for a while. Suspiciously so. But I resist the temptation to go up

>and check on him.

>

>Down he comes again. " Mom, have you changed your mind yet? "

>

> " Nope "

>

> " Doh " (Like Homer Simpson) " Well, then, can I have a snack? "

>

> " Sure "

>

>And we went on like nothing had happened. Had a nice dinner, watched a

>little TV, and now, he is playing while I take some time on the computer.

>

>Should I punish him for the meltdown? I don't think so. Sometimes I

>really

>think he can not help himself. And he was very disappointed he could not

>see the car go through the carwash. I hope the next time he pitches a fit

>he will remember that I do not give in. (OK I know I have not been giving

>in

>for almost 7 years. You would think it would get through that thick skull

>of his!!)

>

>Anyways, this ended up being way longer than I meant it too, and it seems

>to

>be turning in to a short story. I was just reading the posts about what to

>do with a meltdown and it seemed to fit since we had such a big one this

>evening that actually ended on a positive note.

>

>Take care all,

>Debi

>

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[Guest guest]

My son freaks if someone takes his legos apart. He tells us now, "You know I don't share too well." We are working on the sharing thing.

When he was younger and we would be in public if he started to have a meltdown he would get real upset if people looked at him. I got to where I would give him a blanket or jacket to cover his head with. As long as he couldn't see people looking at him, he could calm down.

Debi

meltdowns>Date: Tue, 21 Jan 2003 20:14:52 -0800>>I know that for us it has really helped to isolate (6) when he is>having a meltdown. He is really in to "rules," so we told him the "rule" >is>if he is going to be angry, he has to go to his room. So, as soon as he>starts to get angry and yell, or throw things or try to hurt his sister or>I, I tell him he has to go to his room. The surprising thing is it >works!!!>He will stomp up the stairs and bang his door and sometimes I can hear all>kinds of terrible noises coming from his room, but at least he is not>impacting the rest of the family. It usually only takes 10-15 minutes and>he comes back down. We always just let it go and go on with business, then>sometime later, when he is really calm, I will talk with him about a better>way to handle the situation.>>Like this evening, for instance. The car was low on gas and I decided to>run it through the car wash while I was getting gas. This is one of >'s>favorite things, but I don't do it often. Well, we were waiting inside>watching the other cars going through. Our car was next in line when there>was a horrible crunching sound and everything shut down!!! Oh no!!!! The>mechanism was broken. Well, the folks washed all the cars still in line by>hand and it turned out clean enough, but this was not enough for !! >He>was practically hysterical that our car did not go through the machine (one>of his obsessions is gears and machinery). So here I am with an hysterical>6 year old screaming about the "stupid" car wash and the "idiots" who run >it>and how when we leave this place we are going to another car wash. Well,>with my heart about as low as it can go and really wishing the ground would>just swallow me up then and there, I knew we were in for a major meltdown.>Now, I could have agreed to take the car to another carwash. That would>have satisfied him and we would have avoided the meltdown. But, it just >did>not feel like the right thing to do. It was already 5PM, my older daughter>had lots of homework to do and I had dinner to fix. So I strapped the>screaming 6 year old in to his carseat (thank goodness he only weighs 38>pounds and still has to be in a carseat!!!) and drove home, all the while>listening to a barrage of words from the back seat telling me how stupid I>was and how he hated me and how I better turn this car around or he was>going to make me. When we pulled in to the driveway, he started a major>high-pitched screaming fit. Again, thank goodness he is only 38 pounds!!!>I carried him in to the house, set him on the front landing, pointed up the>stairs and said, (very calmly I think after what he had put me through!)>"GET UPSTAIRS RIGHT NOW AND I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOU UNTIL YOU CAN ACT >HUMAN>AGAIN!!!!" (OK, it was not so calm. I am sure the neighbors were>wondering....)>>>THUMP, THUMP, THUMP upstairs. BANG, BANG, BANG, goes the door (how strong>are those hinges, anyway???). But my daughter and I unpack the car and she>starts her homework and I start dinner. After a while, down comes .>"Mom, I am going to give you two choices.">>"OK">>"Take the car back out to another carwash or take the car back out to>another carwash">>"Sorry, try again. I already told you I am not going back to another>carwash. Besides, that was just one choice.">>"I hate you.">>"Back up to your room.">>THUMP THUMP THUMP, BANG BANG BANG!!!>>Quiet for a while. Suspiciously so. But I resist the temptation to go up>and check on him.>>Down he comes again. "Mom, have you changed your mind yet?">>"Nope">>"Doh" (Like Homer Simpson) "Well, then, can I have a snack?">>"Sure">>And we went on like nothing had happened. Had a nice dinner, watched a>little TV, and now, he is playing while I take some time on the computer.>>Should I punish him for the meltdown? I don't think so. Sometimes I >really>think he can not help himself. And he was very disappointed he could not>see the car go through the carwash. I hope the next time he pitches a fit>he will remember that I do not give in. (OK I know I have not been giving >in>for almost 7 years. You would think it would get through that thick skull>of his!!)>>Anyways, this ended up being way longer than I meant it too, and it seems >to>be turning in to a short story. I was just reading the posts about what to>do with a meltdown and it seemed to fit since we had such a big one this>evening that actually ended on a positive note.>>Take care all,>Debi>_________________________________________________________________The new MSN 8: advanced junk mail protection and 2 months FREE* http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail

[Guest guest]

Today my 14 yr old daughter felt apart (screaming, swearing, calling me "fat and lazy") because I wouldn't take her to see Harry Potter for the 7th time. (One of her two biggest obsessions: Lord of the Rings is the other!) She saw the first movie 10 times and she was trying to explain to me that she has to see this one at least 10 times and it's going out the theaters soon, blah blah blah. Her voice gets louder and louder and she DEMANDS that I take her. It's no fun at all. I had been running errands all day, got home with groceries at 6, and had no desire to take her to a movie. I told her I might take her tomorrow but that didn't make her happy. She gets something in her mind and THAT IS IT, period. ARGHGHGH. Then....after an hour or so...and some slammed doors...she usually finds her way back out of that pit and back into "normal" (whatever that is!). She is so irrational. I can't "talk" to her because she really doesn't "hear" me. She just screams.

mari

-----Original Message-----From: mloya9 Sent: Saturday, January 25, 2003 9:35 PMTo: autism-aspergers Subject: Re: meltdowns

My son freaks if someone takes his legos apart. He tells us now, "You know I don't share too well." We are working on the sharing thing.

When he was younger and we would be in public if he started to have a meltdown he would get real upset if people looked at him. I got to where I would give him a blanket or jacket to cover his head with. As long as he couldn't see people looking at him, he could calm down.

Debi

meltdowns>Date: Tue, 21 Jan 2003 20:14:52 -0800>>I know that for us it has really helped to isolate (6) when he is>having a meltdown. He is really in to "rules," so we told him the "rule" >is>if he is going to be angry, he has to go to his room. So, as soon as he>starts to get angry and yell, or throw things or try to hurt his sister or>I, I tell him he has to go to his room. The surprising thing is it >works!!!>He will stomp up the stairs and bang his door and sometimes I can hear all>kinds of terrible noises coming from his room, but at least he is not>impacting the rest of the family. It usually only takes 10-15 minutes and>he comes back down. We always just let it go and go on with business, then>sometime later, when he is really calm, I will talk with him about a better>way to handle the situation.>>Like this evening, for instance. The car was low on gas and I decided to>run it through the car wash while I was getting gas. This is one of >'s>favorite things, but I don't do it often. Well, we were waiting inside>watching the other cars going through. Our car was next in line when there>was a horrible crunching sound and everything shut down!!! Oh no!!!! The>mechanism was broken. Well, the folks washed all the cars still in line by>hand and it turned out clean enough, but this was not enough for !! >He>was practically hysterical that our car did not go through the machine (one>of his obsessions is gears and machinery). So here I am with an hysterical>6 year old screaming about the "stupid" car wash and the "idiots" who run >it>and how when we leave this place we are going to another car wash. Well,>with my heart about as low as it can go and really wishing the ground would>just swallow me up then and there, I knew we were in for a major meltdown.>Now, I could have agreed to take the car to another carwash. That would>have satisfied him and we would have avoided the meltdown. But, it just >did>not feel like the right thing to do. It was already 5PM, my older daughter>had lots of homework to do and I had dinner to fix. So I strapped the>screaming 6 year old in to his carseat (thank goodness he only weighs 38>pounds and still has to be in a carseat!!!) and drove home, all the while>listening to a barrage of words from the back seat telling me how stupid I>was and how he hated me and how I better turn this car around or he was>going to make me. When we pulled in to the driveway, he started a major>high-pitched screaming fit. Again, thank goodness he is only 38 pounds!!!>I carried him in to the house, set him on the front landing, pointed up the>stairs and said, (very calmly I think after what he had put me through!)>"GET UPSTAIRS RIGHT NOW AND I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOU UNTIL YOU CAN ACT >HUMAN>AGAIN!!!!" (OK, it was not so calm. I am sure the neighbors were>wondering....)>>>THUMP, THUMP, THUMP upstairs. BANG, BANG, BANG, goes the door (how strong>are those hinges, anyway???). But my daughter and I unpack the car and she>starts her homework and I start dinner. After a while, down comes .>"Mom, I am going to give you two choices.">>"OK">>"Take the car back out to another carwash or take the car back out to>another carwash">>"Sorry, try again. I already told you I am not going back to another>carwash. Besides, that was just one choice.">>"I hate you.">>"Back up to your room.">>THUMP THUMP THUMP, BANG BANG BANG!!!>>Quiet for a while. Suspiciously so. But I resist the temptation to go up>and check on him.>>Down he comes again. "Mom, have you changed your mind yet?">>"Nope">>"Doh" (Like Homer Simpson) "Well, then, can I have a snack?">>"Sure">>And we went on like nothing had happened. Had a nice dinner, watched a>little TV, and now, he is playing while I take some time on the computer.>>Should I punish him for the meltdown? I don't think so. Sometimes I >really>think he can not help himself. And he was very disappointed he could not>see the car go through the carwash. I hope the next time he pitches a fit>he will remember that I do not give in. (OK I know I have not been giving >in>for almost 7 years. You would think it would get through that thick skull>of his!!)>>Anyways, this ended up being way longer than I meant it too, and it seems >to>be turning in to a short story. I was just reading the posts about what to>do with a meltdown and it seemed to fit since we had such a big one this>evening that actually ended on a positive note.>>Take care all,>Debi>_________________________________________________________________The new MSN 8: advanced junk mail protection and 2 months FREE* http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail

[Guest guest]

My boys too have kinipshins when their tinkertoys or legos are touched by their sisters or each other for that matter. I just thought it was due to their personality. I never knew that these were asperger behaviors. Thank you guys for letting me know!!!

much luvs,

heather

meltdowns>Date: Tue, 21 Jan 2003 20:14:52 -0800>>I know that for us it has really helped to isolate (6) when he is>having a meltdown. He is really in to "rules," so we told him the "rule" >is>if he is going to be angry, he has to go to his room. So, as soon as he>starts to get angry and yell, or throw things or try to hurt his sister or>I, I tell him he has to go to his room. The surprising thing is it >works!!!>He will stomp up the stairs and bang his door and sometimes I can hear all>kinds of terrible noises coming from his room, but at least he is not>impacting the rest of the family. It usually only takes 10-15 minutes and>he comes back down. We always just let it go and go on with business, then>sometime later, when he is really calm, I will talk with him about a better>way to handle the situation.>>Like this evening, for instance. The car was low on gas and I decided to>run it through the car wash while I was getting gas. This is one of >'s>favorite things, but I don't do it often. Well, we were waiting inside>watching the other cars going through. Our car was next in line when there>was a horrible crunching sound and everything shut down!!! Oh no!!!! The>mechanism was broken. Well, the folks washed all the cars still in line by>hand and it turned out clean enough, but this was not enough for !! >He>was practically hysterical that our car did not go through the machine (one>of his obsessions is gears and machinery). So here I am with an hysterical>6 year old screaming about the "stupid" car wash and the "idiots" who run >it>and how when we leave this place we are going to another car wash. Well,>with my heart about as low as it can go and really wishing the ground would>just swallow me up then and there, I knew we were in for a major meltdown.>Now, I could have agreed to take the car to another carwash. That would>have satisfied him and we would have avoided the meltdown. But, it just >did>not feel like the right thing to do. It was already 5PM, my older daughter>had lots of homework to do and I had dinner to fix. So I strapped the>screaming 6 year old in to his carseat (thank goodness he only weighs 38>pounds and still has to be in a carseat!!!) and drove home, all the while>listening to a barrage of words from the back seat telling me how stupid I>was and how he hated me and how I better turn this car around or he was>going to make me. When we pulled in to the driveway, he started a major>high-pitched screaming fit. Again, thank goodness he is only 38 pounds!!!>I carried him in to the house, set him on the front landing, pointed up the>stairs and said, (very calmly I think after what he had put me through!)>"GET UPSTAIRS RIGHT NOW AND I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOU UNTIL YOU CAN ACT >HUMAN>AGAIN!!!!" (OK, it was not so calm. I am sure the neighbors were>wondering....)>>>THUMP, THUMP, THUMP upstairs. BANG, BANG, BANG, goes the door (how strong>are those hinges, anyway???). But my daughter and I unpack the car and she>starts her homework and I start dinner. After a while, down comes .>"Mom, I am going to give you two choices.">>"OK">>"Take the car back out to another carwash or take the car back out to>another carwash">>"Sorry, try again. I already told you I am not going back to another>carwash. Besides, that was just one choice.">>"I hate you.">>"Back up to your room.">>THUMP THUMP THUMP, BANG BANG BANG!!!>>Quiet for a while. Suspiciously so. But I resist the temptation to go up>and check on him.>>Down he comes again. "Mom, have you changed your mind yet?">>"Nope">>"Doh" (Like Homer Simpson) "Well, then, can I have a snack?">>"Sure">>And we went on like nothing had happened. Had a nice dinner, watched a>little TV, and now, he is playing while I take some time on the computer.>>Should I punish him for the meltdown? I don't think so. Sometimes I >really>think he can not help himself. And he was very disappointed he could not>see the car go through the carwash. I hope the next time he pitches a fit>he will remember that I do not give in. (OK I know I have not been giving >in>for almost 7 years. You would think it would get through that thick skull>of his!!)>>Anyways, this ended up being way longer than I meant it too, and it seems >to>be turning in to a short story. I was just reading the posts about what to>do with a meltdown and it seemed to fit since we had such a big one this>evening that actually ended on a positive note.>>Take care all,>Debi>_________________________________________________________________The new MSN 8: advanced junk mail protection and 2 months FREE* http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail

[Guest guest]

For the sleep try Melatonin, check with

his Dr. first. Melatonin can be purchased over the counter and for my 10 year

old, As. it has been a life saver and for us. He takes ½ a mg. and is asking to

go to bed 30-45 min. later.

RE:

meltdowns

CANDICE H AND HEATHER

Thankyou so much for replying to my e-mail.

Because off Louis behaviour I can count the true

friends I have on one hand. And although they try to understand they cant

truely, so it is so nice to communicate

with people that are living it themselves. Although I

would not wish aspergers on any

family, it is comforting to know we are not the only

ones. I do feel lonely as Louis, I

feel is looked on by other parents as some uncontrolable

spoilt bratt who also happens to be a bit strange, but I am learning to be

strong and I have found that learning to except the aspergers and coming to

terms with it is helping no end.

It was Louis school who first suspected A S

and when it was finally diagnosed I got my head out of the sand and started

researching. Louis behaviour has recently got worse, its been since moving up a

year and when I questioned his new teacher i found out why!!

Her policy is to treat Louis the same as all the other children. What a

disaster! Weather I like it or not he is different and can not be

treated exactly the same as the others. A year ago I would have hated

myself for saying that statement but it is true. Now since obtaining more info

the said teacher has changed some stratogies and things are improving

(slightly) Anyway I would love to hear from anyone about what their

child has a fascination about and to what extremes they go. My son

wishes he was a bloody princess!!!! As if things arent hard enough!

and thats another story . Hope to hear from you soon BEST WISHES

KATY

Peck wrote:

I laughed out loud when I

read about ’s “choices”. 

It is something that Trevor, my 6 yo, would do.  He has the same type of meltdowns, too.

Bec

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Thanks for the tip, I will try that since when I talked with his ped. he said to try cham. tea, and ds remembered we had tried this before and he hated it!

Connie Kaupa

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-----Original Message-----From: Gail Africa Sent: 26 January, 2003 7:02 AMTo: autism-aspergers Subject: RE: meltdowns

For the sleep try Melatonin, check with his Dr. first. Melatonin can be purchased over the counter and for my 10 year old, As. it has been a life saver and for us. He takes ½ a mg. and is asking to go to bed 30-45 min. later.

-----Original Message-----From: Connie Kaupa Sent: Thursday, January 23, 2003 11:03 AMTo: autism-aspergers Subject: RE: meltdowns

Katy,

My Cory is 10 and we had him tested ADHD in 1st grade, not, and then again this year, not again, this time we found a child psych and she said poss. BP but that was no...so then AS...well after reading Tony Attwood's book I totally agreed AS was it, so IT! Then this past Mon. we met with the psych and both ds and dd have ODD, and ds is on Zoloft and will continue, and dd will start after I get her paperwork and get her to ped. Ds also has dysgraphia and for that I am thankful that we will hopefully convince the school to put his work on computer and that will improve things, also the Dr. said they need to provide him with a tutor or something daily to complete his work, it just doesn't work to do it at home!!!!! The bad news, so to speak was that his "traits" were too soft in the social aspect so he doesn't qualify AS, total shock to me, since both of my kids as well as dh show a LOT of the traits for AS, so he is PPD/NOS....I am uncertain how this will go over with the school etc. I talked with county case worker and she is going to sign both kids up for a "friendship" program and that will give them each some one on one time as well as me a break and maybe time to spend one on one with the other.... I am still wondering now if ds will qualify for SSI or not....or MA.....we have a lot of Dr. bills coming and our ins. is only paying 1/2 as well as the medications will add up. If things continue with ds having problems settling down at night and going to sleep, I swear he fights it! lol he may get something short acting to help him go to sleep at night.....hopefully then he will be better to get up in the am as well!

Ok I better run, have spent a lot of time online this am.....and need to go to work.

Connie Kaupa

-----Original Message-----From: katy wicks Sent: 22 January, 2003 3:29 PMTo: autism-aspergers Subject: RE: meltdowns

CANDICE H AND HEATHER

Thankyou so much for replying to my e-mail.

Because off Louis behaviour I can count the true friends I have on one hand. And although they try to understand they cant truely, so it is so nice to communicate

with people that are living it themselves. Although I would not wish aspergers on any

family, it is comforting to know we are not the only ones. I do feel lonely as Louis, I

feel is looked on by other parents as some uncontrolable spoilt bratt who also happens to be a bit strange, but I am learning to be strong and I have found that learning to except the aspergers and coming to terms with it is helping no end.

It was Louis school who first suspected A S and when it was finally diagnosed I got my head out of the sand and started researching. Louis behaviour has recently got worse, its been since moving up a year and when I questioned his new teacher i found out why!! Her policy is to treat Louis the same as all the other children. What a disaster! Weather I like it or not he is different and can not be treated exactly the same as the others. A year ago I would have hated myself for saying that statement but it is true. Now since obtaining more info the said teacher has changed some stratogies and things are improving (slightly) Anyway I would love to hear from anyone about what their child has a fascination about and to what extremes they go. My son wishes he was a bloody princess!!!! As if things arent hard enough! and thats another story . Hope to hear from you soon BEST WISHES KATY

Peck wrote:

I laughed out loud when I read about ’s “choices”. It is something that Trevor, my 6 yo, would do. He has the same type of meltdowns, too.

Bec

[Guest guest]

I bought some Melatonin for my 10 yr old dd,who has Bipolar,and OCD,,I

have been giving her 1 mg. Is that too much? It has been a miracle worker

for us. She had been staying awake till 3-4 in the morning.

Kim mom to ~~Meaghan-13~~Katelyn 10,Bipolar,OCD~~Logan 5

Aspergers/PDD,SID,Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis~~Ethan 3,,,100% BOY

On Sun, 26 Jan 2003 08:02:05 -0500 " Gail Africa "

writes:

> For the sleep try Melatonin, check with his Dr. first. Melatonin can

> be

> purchased over the counter and for my 10 year old, As. it has been a

> life saver and for us. He takes ½ a mg. and is asking to go to bed

> 30-45

> min. later.

>

> RE: meltdowns

> CANDICE H AND HEATHER

> Thankyou so much for replying to my e-mail.

> Because off Louis behaviour I can count the true friends I have on

> one

> hand. And although they try to understand they cant truely, so it is

> so

> nice to communicate

> with people that are living it themselves. Although I would not wish

> aspergers on any

> family, it is comforting to know we are not the only ones. I do feel

> lonely as Louis, I

> feel is looked on by other parents as some uncontrolable spoilt

> bratt

> who also happens to be a bit strange, but I am learning to be strong

> and

> I have found that learning to except the aspergers and coming to

> terms

> with it is helping no end.

> It was Louis school who first suspected A S and when it was finally

> diagnosed I got my head out of the sand and started researching.

> Louis

> behaviour has recently got worse, its been since moving up a year

> and

> when I questioned his new teacher i found out why!! Her policy is

> to

> treat Louis the same as all the other children. What a disaster!

> Weather I like it or not he is different and can not be treated

> exactly

> the same as the others. A year ago I would have hated myself for

> saying

> that statement but it is true. Now since obtaining more info the

> said

> teacher has changed some stratogies and things are improving

> (slightly)

> Anyway I would love to hear from anyone about what their child has a

> fascination about and to what extremes they go. My son wishes he

> was a

> bloody princess!!!! As if things arent hard enough! and thats

> another

> story . Hope to hear from you soon BEST WISHES KATY

> Peck wrote:

> I laughed out loud when I read about ’s “choices”. It is

> something

> that Trevor, my 6 yo, would do. He has the same type of meltdowns,

> too.

>

> Bec

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Our peditrician advised us to use Benedryl or a generic of it and for long term the Valaerian root is good too but that takes a while to build up in their systems. Hope this helps

much luvs,

heather

RE: meltdowns

For the sleep try Melatonin, check with his Dr. first. Melatonin can be purchased over the counter and for my 10 year old, As. it has been a life saver and for us. He takes ½ a mg. and is asking to go to bed 30-45 min. later.

-----Original Message-----From: Connie Kaupa Sent: Thursday, January 23, 2003 11:03 AMTo: autism-aspergers Subject: RE: meltdowns

Katy,

My Cory is 10 and we had him tested ADHD in 1st grade, not, and then again this year, not again, this time we found a child psych and she said poss. BP but that was no...so then AS...well after reading Tony Attwood's book I totally agreed AS was it, so IT! Then this past Mon. we met with the psych and both ds and dd have ODD, and ds is on Zoloft and will continue, and dd will start after I get her paperwork and get her to ped. Ds also has dysgraphia and for that I am thankful that we will hopefully convince the school to put his work on computer and that will improve things, also the Dr. said they need to provide him with a tutor or something daily to complete his work, it just doesn't work to do it at home!!!!! The bad news, so to speak was that his "traits" were too soft in the social aspect so he doesn't qualify AS, total shock to me, since both of my kids as well as dh show a LOT of the traits for AS, so he is PPD/NOS....I am uncertain how this will go over with the school etc. I talked with county case worker and she is going to sign both kids up for a "friendship" program and that will give them each some one on one time as well as me a break and maybe time to spend one on one with the other.... I am still wondering now if ds will qualify for SSI or not....or MA.....we have a lot of Dr. bills coming and our ins. is only paying 1/2 as well as the medications will add up. If things continue with ds having problems settling down at night and going to sleep, I swear he fights it! lol he may get something short acting to help him go to sleep at night.....hopefully then he will be better to get up in the am as well!

Ok I better run, have spent a lot of time online this am.....and need to go to work.

Connie Kaupa

-----Original Message-----From: katy wicks Sent: 22 January, 2003 3:29 PMTo: autism-aspergers Subject: RE: meltdowns

CANDICE H AND HEATHER

Thankyou so much for replying to my e-mail.

Because off Louis behaviour I can count the true friends I have on one hand. And although they try to understand they cant truely, so it is so nice to communicate

with people that are living it themselves. Although I would not wish aspergers on any

family, it is comforting to know we are not the only ones. I do feel lonely as Louis, I

feel is looked on by other parents as some uncontrolable spoilt bratt who also happens to be a bit strange, but I am learning to be strong and I have found that learning to except the aspergers and coming to terms with it is helping no end.

It was Louis school who first suspected A S and when it was finally diagnosed I got my head out of the sand and started researching. Louis behaviour has recently got worse, its been since moving up a year and when I questioned his new teacher i found out why!! Her policy is to treat Louis the same as all the other children. What a disaster! Weather I like it or not he is different and can not be treated exactly the same as the others. A year ago I would have hated myself for saying that statement but it is true. Now since obtaining more info the said teacher has changed some stratogies and things are improving (slightly) Anyway I would love to hear from anyone about what their child has a fascination about and to what extremes they go. My son wishes he was a bloody princess!!!! As if things arent hard enough! and thats another story . Hope to hear from you soon BEST WISHES KATY

Peck wrote:

I laughed out loud when I read about ’s “choices”. It is something that Trevor, my 6 yo, would do. He has the same type of meltdowns, too.

Bec

[Guest guest]

Kim 1 mg. won't hurt her, as it sounds as though she had major sleep

problems. One pill of a no name brand, amounting to a half does it for

. However, some nights I have given him 1 mg. Sleep sure does help

every ones attitude, I'm glad you tried the Melatonin. spent nine

months once a week in the psychologists office and no one ever mentioned

it. They kept up the " think relaxing thoughts " etc. routine which would

not have worked in a million years. truly wanted to be able to go

to sleep. Good Luck, Gail

[Guest guest]

Mari, I know exactly where you are coming from. Luckily for me, Skylar who

just turned 8, is more interested in tv and Yu-Gi-Oh cartoons and cards. A

lot time ago I started teaching Sky about sharing by having my turn for the

tv and his turn. I remember when he was about 3 and he had to watch " the

lion king " all day. Luckily, Jeff got a vcr and bought the movie. I heard

a local ADHD specialist talking about the chemicals in the brain fluctuating

and causing the meltdowns and how the chemicals have to come back in balance

before our kids can get control of the siuation. He explained it in detail

and knowing that has helped me learn to back off when Sky has a meltdown.

This Dr is suppose to have a web site starting in Feb. and when I get the

address I will post it. Sharon in So Jersey

>

>Reply-To: autism-aspergers

>To: <autism-aspergers >

>Subject: RE: meltdowns

>Date: Sat, 25 Jan 2003 23:40:05 -0600

>

>Today my 14 yr old daughter felt apart (screaming, swearing, calling me

> " fat

>and lazy " ) because I wouldn't take her to see Harry Potter for the 7th

>time.

>(One of her two biggest obsessions: Lord of the Rings is the other!) She

>saw

>the first movie 10 times and she was trying to explain to me that she has

>to

>see this one at least 10 times and it's going out the theaters soon, blah

>blah blah. Her voice gets louder and louder and she DEMANDS that I take

>her.

>It's no fun at all. I had been running errands all day, got home with

>groceries at 6, and had no desire to take her to a movie. I told her I

>might

>take her tomorrow but that didn't make her happy. She gets something in her

>mind and THAT IS IT, period. ARGHGHGH. Then....after an hour or so...and

>some slammed doors...she usually finds her way back out of that pit and

>back

>into " normal " (whatever that is!). She is so irrational. I can't " talk " to

>her because she really doesn't " hear " me. She just screams.

>mari

> Re: meltdowns

>

>

> My son freaks if someone takes his legos apart. He tells us now, " You

>know I don't share too well. " We are working on the sharing thing.

> When he was younger and we would be in public if he started to have a

>meltdown he would get real upset if people looked at him. I got to where I

>would give him a blanket or jacket to cover his head with. As long as he

>couldn't see people looking at him, he could calm down.

> Debi

> meltdowns

> >Date: Tue, 21 Jan 2003 20:14:52 -0800

> >

> >I know that for us it has really helped to isolate (6) when he

>is

> >having a meltdown. He is really in to " rules, " so we told him the

> " rule "

> >is

> >if he is going to be angry, he has to go to his room. So, as soon as

>he

> >starts to get angry and yell, or throw things or try to hurt his

>sister

>or

> >I, I tell him he has to go to his room. The surprising thing is it

> >works!!!

> >He will stomp up the stairs and bang his door and sometimes I can

>hear

>all

> >kinds of terrible noises coming from his room, but at least he is not

> >impacting the rest of the family. It usually only takes 10-15

>minutes

>and

> >he comes back down. We always just let it go and go on with

>business,

>then

> >sometime later, when he is really calm, I will talk with him about a

>better

> >way to handle the situation.

> >

> >Like this evening, for instance. The car was low on gas and I

>decided

>to

> >run it through the car wash while I was getting gas. This is one of

> >'s

> >favorite things, but I don't do it often. Well, we were waiting

>inside

> >watching the other cars going through. Our car was next in line when

>there

> >was a horrible crunching sound and everything shut down!!! Oh no!!!!

>The

> >mechanism was broken. Well, the folks washed all the cars still in

>line by

> >hand and it turned out clean enough, but this was not enough for

>!!

> >He

> >was practically hysterical that our car did not go through the

>machine

>(one

> >of his obsessions is gears and machinery). So here I am with an

>hysterical

> >6 year old screaming about the " stupid " car wash and the " idiots " who

>run

> >it

> >and how when we leave this place we are going to another car wash.

>Well,

> >with my heart about as low as it can go and really wishing the ground

>would

> >just swallow me up then and there, I knew we were in for a major

>meltdown.

> >Now, I could have agreed to take the car to another carwash. That

>would

> >have satisfied him and we would have avoided the meltdown. But, it

>just

> >did

> >not feel like the right thing to do. It was already 5PM, my older

>daughter

> >had lots of homework to do and I had dinner to fix. So I strapped

>the

> >screaming 6 year old in to his carseat (thank goodness he only weighs

>38

> >pounds and still has to be in a carseat!!!) and drove home, all the

>while

> >listening to a barrage of words from the back seat telling me how

>stupid I

> >was and how he hated me and how I better turn this car around or he

>was

> >going to make me. When we pulled in to the driveway, he started a

>major

> >high-pitched screaming fit. Again, thank goodness he is only 38

>pounds!!!

> >I carried him in to the house, set him on the front landing, pointed

>up

>the

> >stairs and said, (very calmly I think after what he had put me

>through!)

> > " GET UPSTAIRS RIGHT NOW AND I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOU UNTIL YOU CAN

>ACT

> >HUMAN

> >AGAIN!!!! " (OK, it was not so calm. I am sure the neighbors were

> >wondering....)

> >

> >

> >THUMP, THUMP, THUMP upstairs. BANG, BANG, BANG, goes the door (how

>strong

> >are those hinges, anyway???). But my daughter and I unpack the car

>and

>she

> >starts her homework and I start dinner. After a while, down comes

>.

> > " Mom, I am going to give you two choices. "

> >

> > " OK "

> >

> > " Take the car back out to another carwash or take the car back out to

> >another carwash "

> >

> > " Sorry, try again. I already told you I am not going back to another

> >carwash. Besides, that was just one choice. "

> >

> > " I hate you. "

> >

> > " Back up to your room. "

> >

> >THUMP THUMP THUMP, BANG BANG BANG!!!

> >

> >Quiet for a while. Suspiciously so. But I resist the temptation to

>go

>up

> >and check on him.

> >

> >Down he comes again. " Mom, have you changed your mind yet? "

> >

> > " Nope "

> >

> > " Doh " (Like Homer Simpson) " Well, then, can I have a snack? "

> >

> > " Sure "

> >

> >And we went on like nothing had happened. Had a nice dinner, watched

>a

> >little TV, and now, he is playing while I take some time on the

>computer.

> >

> >Should I punish him for the meltdown? I don't think so. Sometimes I

> >really

> >think he can not help himself. And he was very disappointed he could

>not

> >see the car go through the carwash. I hope the next time he pitches

>a

>fit

> >he will remember that I do not give in. (OK I know I have not been

>giving

> >in

> >for almost 7 years. You would think it would get through that thick

>skull

> >of his!!)

> >

> >Anyways, this ended up being way longer than I meant it too, and it

>seems

> >to

> >be turning in to a short story. I was just reading the posts about

>what to

> >do with a meltdown and it seemed to fit since we had such a big one

>this

> >evening that actually ended on a positive note.

> >

> >Take care all,

> >Debi

> >

>

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> The new MSN 8: advanced junk mail protection and 2 months FREE*

> http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Next time I get to town I am looking for this....my ped said the tea and ds

says no way! I laid with him from 9:30-after 11 last night before he finally

went to sleep, first laid with dd to get her to bed....talk about lost

hours!

Connie Kaupa

Scrapbook Stylist & Team Leader #10659

Scrap in a Snap... More time for Making Memories

http://www.scrapinasnapmn.com

New Deluxe Memories by the Month, join in Jan or Feb and get $10.00 off your

first month!

CRUISE WITH ME IN 2003

I would love to have you join my team and soar to the stars! I pay the

shipping if you sign before 1/31/03

Together Everyone Achieves More

Find a crop near you www.croppingcentral.com

<http://www.croppingcentral.com>

RE: meltdowns

Kim 1 mg. won't hurt her, as it sounds as though she had major sleep

problems. One pill of a no name brand, amounting to a half does it for

. However, some nights I have given him 1 mg. Sleep sure does help

every ones attitude, I'm glad you tried the Melatonin. spent nine

months once a week in the psychologists office and no one ever mentioned

it. They kept up the " think relaxing thoughts " etc. routine which would

not have worked in a million years. truly wanted to be able to go

to sleep. Good Luck, Gail

[Guest guest]

Connie; Any drug

store will have Melatonin, and it will make every ones life a little calmer. Good

Luck Gail

[Guest guest]

This brings back so many memories. EVERY night I used to do this when my dd was younger. I think we must be the most patient people in the world....what do you think? : )

Mari

-----Original Message-----From: Connie Kaupa Sent: Monday, January 27, 2003 5:23 PMTo: autism-aspergers Subject: RE: meltdownsNext time I get to town I am looking for this....my ped said the tea and dssays no way! I laid with him from 9:30-after 11 last night before he finallywent to sleep, first laid with dd to get her to bed....talk about losthours!Connie KaupaScrapbook Stylist & Team Leader #10659Scrap in a Snap... More time for Making Memorieshttp://www.scrapinasnapmn.comNew Deluxe Memories by the Month, join in Jan or Feb and get $10.00 off yourfirst month!CRUISE WITH ME IN 2003I would love to have you join my team and soar to the stars! I pay theshipping if you sign before 1/31/03Together Everyone Achieves MoreFind a crop near you www.croppingcentral.com<http://www.croppingcentral.com>-----Original Message-----From: Gail Africa Sent: 26 January, 2003 7:01 PMTo: autism-aspergers Subject: RE: meltdownsKim 1 mg. won't hurt her, as it sounds as though she had major sleepproblems. One pill of a no name brand, amounting to a half does it for. However, some nights I have given him 1 mg. Sleep sure does helpevery ones attitude, I'm glad you tried the Melatonin. spent ninemonths once a week in the psychologists office and no one ever mentionedit. They kept up the "think relaxing thoughts" etc. routine which wouldnot have worked in a million years. truly wanted to be able to goto sleep. Good Luck, Gail

[Guest guest]

LOL, I just had a friend ask me how I could do that...since I view her as a better parent...I was surprised...however you are right, even though I have not considered myself patient I think you are right!

Thanks for pointing that out

Connie Kaupa

Scrapbook Stylist & Team Leader #10659

Scrap in a Snap... More time for Making Memorieshttp://www.scrapinasnapmn.com

New Deluxe Memories by the Month, join in Jan or Feb and get $10.00 off your first month!

CRUISE WITH ME IN 2003

I would love to have you join my team and soar to the stars! I pay the shipping if you sign before 1/31/03

Together Everyone Achieves More

Find a crop near you www.croppingcentral.com

-----Original Message-----From: Cats R Us Sent: 27 January, 2003 6:45 PMTo: autism-aspergers Subject: RE: meltdowns

This brings back so many memories. EVERY night I used to do this when my dd was younger. I think we must be the most patient people in the world....what do you think? : )

Mari

-----Original Message-----From: Connie Kaupa Sent: Monday, January 27, 2003 5:23 PMTo: autism-aspergers Subject: RE: meltdownsNext time I get to town I am looking for this....my ped said the tea and dssays no way! I laid with him from 9:30-after 11 last night before he finallywent to sleep, first laid with dd to get her to bed....talk about losthours!Connie KaupaScrapbook Stylist & Team Leader #10659Scrap in a Snap... More time for Making Memorieshttp://www.scrapinasnapmn.comNew Deluxe Memories by the Month, join in Jan or Feb and get $10.00 off yourfirst month!CRUISE WITH ME IN 2003I would love to have you join my team and soar to the stars! I pay theshipping if you sign before 1/31/03Together Everyone Achieves MoreFind a crop near you www.croppingcentral.com<http://www.croppingcentral.com>-----Original Message-----From: Gail Africa Sent: 26 January, 2003 7:01 PMTo: autism-aspergers Subject: RE: meltdownsKim 1 mg. won't hurt her, as it sounds as though she had major sleepproblems. One pill of a no name brand, amounting to a half does it for. However, some nights I have given him 1 mg. Sleep sure does helpevery ones attitude, I'm glad you tried the Melatonin. spent ninemonths once a week in the psychologists office and no one ever mentionedit. They kept up the "think relaxing thoughts" etc. routine which wouldnot have worked in a million years. truly wanted to be able to goto sleep. Good Luck, Gail