Re: Re: Re: prior to I -- Tom

March 9, 2004

Hey Tom -- a thought just occurred to me that is probably easier to say than to

do, but...

When someone says something " bad " about me and I feel hurt, I know it wouldn't

hurt of I didn't already believe it to be true.

And maybe when someone says something " good " about me and I feel high, it

wouldn't make me feel that way if I didn't already believe it was true.

So maybe when someone says something good about you, you can accept it from

YOURSELF and consider them only a mirror. The compliment wouldn't have reached

you if it weren't in you already. So when you are feeling giddy and validated

you can let out a big " Thanks, Tom! "

Of course the same would work with " negative " comments as well, and be an

opportunity for more Work without confusing who was the real source of the pain

(oneself).

What do you think?

-

> > ah! now I read the subject line as:

> >

> > Prior to I: Tom.

>

> That seems funny because " Tom " is a story, too.

>

> > Anyway, your comments and interpretation made sense to me.

>

> Much of my Work recently seems to be around my attachments to the

> opinions of others. Sometimes it's very clear that I don't need

> anything from anyone. And then you say something like this and there's

> such a deep sense of validation and satisfaction. It feels wonderful,

> and I wonder if it indicates a deeper stronger attachment to others'

> opinions than I realized. Or is something else going on? I don't know.

>

> Another thought that comes up is that since I've started running the

> story that I don't need anything from anyone, when appreciation is

> offered, it doesn't get distorted or jammed by my expectations and

> desires and I wind up experiencing it more clearly and strongly and

> sweetly.

>

> In any case, Eva, thank you, deeply.

>

> > More below.

> >

> > > If the four questions are the 'prior to I' verbalized, who's the 'I'

> > > in questions 2, 3, and 4? Should we re-word the last three questions

> > > to get rid of the 'I'?

> > >

> > > - can there be certainty that it's true?

> > >

> > > - how does it feel to believe that?

> > >

> > > - who is produced by not believing it?

> >

> > I like this approach.

> > You inspired me to the following re-wordings for #3 and #4:

> >

> > -- What's the effect?

> >

> > -- What's before that?

>

> Cool.

>

> > And all this reminds me of another quote I like very much (it

> > deserves a message of itself, I think, so I refer to 'Everything I

> > know')

> >

> > > > : To make a decision is fearful.

> > >

> > > ... because I might choose wrongly ...

> > >

> >

> > Hmmm... wrongly, Tom?

>

> What makes a decision fearful for me is the fear that I might choose

> wrongly, yes. That fear may not be true, but when I'm believing it, it

> colors all I do.

>

> > (I loved your inquiry about this in response to

> > Jan's message! It's so rich)

>

> <purr...> Thank you again, Eva. <sigh> ( " Is it okay to take in all

> this rich, creamy LAA? Is it fattening? Am I going to get in trouble?

> Is this what means when she says, 'All pleasure is pain'? I'm

> finding receiving Eva's appreciation intensely pleasurable and I'm

> afraid of what it might mean. " That's what the sigh meant.)

>

> > So which story comes after the thought that I might choose wrongly?

> > What's the fear really about, I ask myself?

>

> Did you get an answer?

>

> I asked myself, too, prompted by you. What came up for me was,

> " If I choose badly, they'll think I'm stupid. " It went to what others

> think of me. Seems to be a theme for me right now. Hmmm...

>

> > ...

> > This I found really helpful Tom, it seems to make more sense now.

> > Thank you.

>

> You're welcome, and thank you.

>

> > ...

> > And this one too! Appears to clarify.

>

> I'm glad.

>

> > ...

> > And this too.

>

> <purrrrrr>

>

> >

> > > > Until you have it, I don't have it.

> > >

> > > ... until all my projections have it, my Work is not done ...

> >

> > This seems so strange.

> > If projects what she is onto the world, why don't we all do the

> > work like she does?

>

> We're learning to. Haven't you noticed?

>

> > If we're all one, why don't we feel it that way?

>

> Because We've chosen not to? Because We've agreed to play by the

> rules, one of which, perhaps, is that We're not allowed to remember

> the rules?

>

> > Are we an

> > interlocking whole of projections onto each other?

>

> Could be. Do you know the idea of the Net of Indra? It describes

> Reality as an infinite network of jewels extending infinitely in all

> directions. Each jewel consists solely of the reflections of all the

> other jewels.

>

> > It keeps confusing me.

>

> Me, too. I think maybe it's supposed to.

>

> > ...

> > Thanks Tom,

>

> Thank you, Eva.

>

> Tom, the story

> </tt>

>

>

>

>

> <tt><hr width= " 500 " >

>

March 9, 2004

>

> Hey Tom -- a thought just occurred to me that is probably easier to

> say than to do, but...

>

> When someone says something " bad " about me and I feel hurt, I know

> it wouldn't hurt of I didn't already believe it to be true.

>

> And maybe when someone says something " good " about me and I feel

> high, it wouldn't make me feel that way if I didn't already believe

> it was true.

>

> So maybe when someone says something good about you, you can accept

> it from YOURSELF and consider them only a mirror. The compliment

> wouldn't have reached you if it weren't in you already. So when you

> are feeling giddy and validated you can let out a big " Thanks, Tom! "

>

> Of course the same would work with " negative " comments as well, and

> be an opportunity for more Work without confusing who was the real

> source of the pain (oneself).

>

> What do you think?

! I think that's brilliant!! And you expressed it so clearly.

Thank you so much.

Tom

March 9, 2004

-

> >

> > Hey Tom -- a thought just occurred to me that is probably easier to

> > say than to do, but...

> >

> > When someone says something " bad " about me and I feel hurt, I know

> > it wouldn't hurt of I didn't already believe it to be true.

> >

> > And maybe when someone says something " good " about me and I feel

> > high, it wouldn't make me feel that way if I didn't already believe

> > it was true.

> >

> > So maybe when someone says something good about you, you can accept

> > it from YOURSELF and consider them only a mirror. The compliment

> > wouldn't have reached you if it weren't in you already. So when you

> > are feeling giddy and validated you can let out a big " Thanks, Tom! "

> >

> > Of course the same would work with " negative " comments as well, and

> > be an opportunity for more Work without confusing who was the real

> > source of the pain (oneself).

> >

> > What do you think?

>

> ! I think that's brilliant!! And you expressed it so clearly.

> Thank you so much.

>

> Tom

> </tt>

>

Thanks, ! (and you too, Tom) I thought so too, apparently, cause I

feel pretty good about it.

I was just thinking about how I enter images into some informal Photoshop

contests, and I spend whole days refreshing a page every so often to see how

many votes " I " am getting. Cause I want them to vote for ME, not my picture,

and that's how I receive it. I can think of those as votes from myself, too.

Heck, maybe I should just set up my own site and vote on mine as many times as I

want....

March 9, 2004

eric, thanks for this - i really like the way you phrased it..works for me.

Burton wrote:

Hey Tom -- a thought just occurred to me that is probably easier to say than to

do, but...

When someone says something " bad " about me and I feel hurt, I know it wouldn't

hurt of I didn't already believe it to be true.

And maybe when someone says something " good " about me and I feel high, it

wouldn't make me feel that way if I didn't already believe it was true.

So maybe when someone says something good about you, you can accept it from

YOURSELF and consider them only a mirror. The compliment wouldn't have reached

you if it weren't in you already. So when you are feeling giddy and validated

you can let out a big " Thanks, Tom! "

Of course the same would work with " negative " comments as well, and be an

opportunity for more Work without confusing who was the real source of the pain

(oneself).

What do you think?

-

> > ah! now I read the subject line as:

> >

> > Prior to I: Tom.

>

> That seems funny because " Tom " is a story, too.

>

> > Anyway, your comments and interpretation made sense to me.

>

> Much of my Work recently seems to be around my attachments to the

> opinions of others. Sometimes it's very clear that I don't need

> anything from anyone. And then you say something like this and there's

> such a deep sense of validation and satisfaction. It feels wonderful,

> and I wonder if it indicates a deeper stronger attachment to others'

> opinions than I realized. Or is something else going on? I don't know.

>

> Another thought that comes up is that since I've started running the

> story that I don't need anything from anyone, when appreciation is

> offered, it doesn't get distorted or jammed by my expectations and

> desires and I wind up experiencing it more clearly and strongly and

> sweetly.

>

> In any case, Eva, thank you, deeply.

>

> > More below.

> >

> > > If the four questions are the 'prior to I' verbalized, who's the 'I'

> > > in questions 2, 3, and 4? Should we re-word the last three questions

> > > to get rid of the 'I'?

> > >

> > > - can there be certainty that it's true?

> > >

> > > - how does it feel to believe that?

> > >

> > > - who is produced by not believing it?

> >

> > I like this approach.

> > You inspired me to the following re-wordings for #3 and #4:

> >

> > -- What's the effect?

> >

> > -- What's before that?

>

> Cool.

>

> > And all this reminds me of another quote I like very much (it

> > deserves a message of itself, I think, so I refer to 'Everything I

> > know')

> >

> > > > : To make a decision is fearful.

> > >

> > > ... because I might choose wrongly ...

> > >

> >

> > Hmmm... wrongly, Tom?

>

> What makes a decision fearful for me is the fear that I might choose

> wrongly, yes. That fear may not be true, but when I'm believing it, it

> colors all I do.

>

> > (I loved your inquiry about this in response to

> > Jan's message! It's so rich)

>

> <purr...> Thank you again, Eva. <sigh> ( " Is it okay to take in all

> this rich, creamy LAA? Is it fattening? Am I going to get in trouble?

> Is this what means when she says, 'All pleasure is pain'? I'm

> finding receiving Eva's appreciation intensely pleasurable and I'm

> afraid of what it might mean. " That's what the sigh meant.)

>

> > So which story comes after the thought that I might choose wrongly?

> > What's the fear really about, I ask myself?

>

> Did you get an answer?

>

> I asked myself, too, prompted by you. What came up for me was,

> " If I choose badly, they'll think I'm stupid. " It went to what others

> think of me. Seems to be a theme for me right now. Hmmm...

>

> > ...

> > This I found really helpful Tom, it seems to make more sense now.

> > Thank you.

>

> You're welcome, and thank you.

>

> > ...

> > And this one too! Appears to clarify.

>

> I'm glad.

>

> > ...

> > And this too.

>

> <purrrrrr>

>

> >

> > > > Until you have it, I don't have it.

> > >

> > > ... until all my projections have it, my Work is not done ...

> >

> > This seems so strange.

> > If projects what she is onto the world, why don't we all do the

> > work like she does?

>

> We're learning to. Haven't you noticed?

>

> > If we're all one, why don't we feel it that way?

>

> Because We've chosen not to? Because We've agreed to play by the

> rules, one of which, perhaps, is that We're not allowed to remember

> the rules?

>

> > Are we an

> > interlocking whole of projections onto each other?

>

> Could be. Do you know the idea of the Net of Indra? It describes

> Reality as an infinite network of jewels extending infinitely in all

> directions. Each jewel consists solely of the reflections of all the

> other jewels.

>

> > It keeps confusing me.

>

> Me, too. I think maybe it's supposed to.

>

> > ...

> > Thanks Tom,

>

> Thank you, Eva.

>

> Tom, the story

> </tt>

>

>

>

>

> <tt><hr width= " 500 " >

>

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