Re: Re: Need a little help with the Work

[Guest guest]

> I've been struggling with a similar situation. And when I

> roll " Loving what is " with " The Four Agreements " and " Seat of the

> Soul " I get this:

>

> We only allow ourselves to be abused as much as we abuse ourselves.

Yes, that's my experience as well. And, what I find for myself is that

I love and forgive others only as deeply and to the extent that I love

and forgive myself.

It's all an inside job, and (so far, for me), it never ends. The

loving forgiveness of myself happens in this moment now or it doesn't.

Waiting for some future moment when I'll " get past " that issue leaves

me stuck in my self-hatred and judgement. All I can ever do is begin

now.

Thanks, Gypsy.

love,

Tom

[Guest guest]

Hi,

>

>

> I've been struggling with a similar situation. And when I

> roll " Loving what is " with " The Four Agreements " and " Seat of the

> Soul " I get this:

>

> We only allow ourselves to be abused as much as we abuse ourselves.

>

> So, the belief I think you're challenging is where to draw the line

> on how much disrespect you will take in the name of love and

> forgiveness.

>

> For me, what has come to light is that I want to love myself better

> than that, to raise the limit.

>

> I will love and respect my self. I will not ask for this from anyone

> else. If I am not treated with the love and respect I know I deserve,

> it is a gift if they walk away. And if they don't walk away, I will

> walk away from the disrespect. I will love and respect my self that

> much.

>

> Does this help?

I don't know about abuse or disrespect. Whenever I did the work about

these topics I found out, that no one has ever shown me any disrespect

or abused me. I know I believed it, and I know I have shown these

things myself.

I want to have the people around me I do have around me. If I realise

that I am annoyed of someone, I found something to do the work on! I

don't know how that will be tomorrow, but that is how it is now.

As puts it: " until you have not found out that there is nothing

to forgive, your work is not done " or " you only forgive when you found

out that there is nothing to forgive in the first place "

[Guest guest]

A wise friend tried to console me once with these words, " People usually

don't try to cause others pain--the pain results from the actions of people

who are either: (1) emotionally or mentally disturbed or (2) ignorant about

their actions. So...you see now that you have no rational reason to be angry

with them--they can't do any better with the skills they presently possess. "

Eddie

>

>Reply-To: Loving-what-is

>To: Loving-what-is

>Subject: Re: Re: Need a little help with the Work

>Date: Tue, 10 Feb 2004 21:10:04 +0100

>

>Hi,

>

> >

> >

> > I've been struggling with a similar situation. And when I

> > roll " Loving what is " with " The Four Agreements " and " Seat of the

> > Soul " I get this:

> >

> > We only allow ourselves to be abused as much as we abuse ourselves.

> >

> > So, the belief I think you're challenging is where to draw the line

> > on how much disrespect you will take in the name of love and

> > forgiveness.

> >

> > For me, what has come to light is that I want to love myself better

> > than that, to raise the limit.

> >

> > I will love and respect my self. I will not ask for this from anyone

> > else. If I am not treated with the love and respect I know I deserve,

> > it is a gift if they walk away. And if they don't walk away, I will

> > walk away from the disrespect. I will love and respect my self that

> > much.

> >

> > Does this help?

>I don't know about abuse or disrespect. Whenever I did the work about

>these topics I found out, that no one has ever shown me any disrespect

>or abused me. I know I believed it, and I know I have shown these

>things myself.

>

>I want to have the people around me I do have around me. If I realise

>that I am annoyed of someone, I found something to do the work on! I

>don't know how that will be tomorrow, but that is how it is now.

>

>As puts it: " until you have not found out that there is nothing

>to forgive, your work is not done " or " you only forgive when you found

>out that there is nothing to forgive in the first place "

>

_________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

> Date: Wed, 11 Feb 2004 19:32:10 -0600

>

> Subject: RE: Re: Re: Need a little help with the Work

>

> A wise friend tried to console me once with these words, " People

> usually

> don't try to cause others pain--the pain results from the actions of

> people

> who are either: (1) emotionally or mentally disturbed or (2) ignorant

> about

> their actions. So...you see now that you have no rational reason to be

> angry

> with them--they can't do any better with the skills they presently

> possess. "

> Eddie

And, to put it into even more words ( ;-): We always do the best we can

with what we have at the time.

Love,