Re: Teenagers...how many worksheets can I do?

[Guest guest]

Hi MB,

My lovely daughter is 13 and I certainly can identify with some of your story.

How about posting a worksheet and seeing what gets undone? It may help to post

it here and get feedback and support - less like pointing a finger and more

understanding. Whatever you decide, good luck.

Love,

mbs19542003 wrote:

I realize that I am the projector. And I get more than frustrated

with my 15-yr-old and her moods, temper tantrums, lack of

communication, lack of affection...the whole teenage bit. I thought I

was better at this. Then, with the turnaround, I point my finger back

at myself, which just increases my own frustration with myself. Being

kind to ME and not worrying are my prayers in this life, yet I think

I need a miracle on that score.

My daughter is really a great kid, not in trouble, and with good

grades. Maybe I should just be grateful for what I have and quit

complaining. I can't seem to reach a point of satisfaction with

MYSELF. Why am I so mean to ME? I wouldn't treat others like

this...although I must at times. ARGHHHH!

Help!

MB

[Guest guest]

> I realize that I am the projector. And I get more than frustrated

> with my 15-yr-old and her moods, temper tantrums, lack of

> communication, lack of affection...the whole teenage bit. I thought

> I was better at this. Then, with the turnaround, I point my finger

> back at myself, which just increases my own frustration with

> myself.

Hi MB,

Only you can find your own answers, but if I thought someone (son,

daughter, partner, boss etc.) could effect me then I would know that

I was very confused.

I can only be effected by my THINKING nothing else. My daughter could

be in the middle of a temper tantrum. She could be waving her hands

and screaming at the top of her voice, but that has NOTHING to do

with how I feel. My feelings are caused by what I am THINKING while

she waves her hands and screams. This is not easy to see because I

have been programmed to look outward for the cause of my distress not

within. Questions 3 and 4 of the Work bring this point home if they

truly realised. Note how the Work is not at all concerned with

anything external it focuses exculsively on our internal THINKING.

If my daughter is in the middle of a temper tantrum I can remember

that the tantrum is being caused by a story (THOUGHTS) in her mind

which she has not investigated. I am just like her, my feelings are

also being caused by a story in my mind about her tantrum.

Once I have realised the true cause of my distress the TAs become

useful. Since THOUGHTS are the cause of everything I feel, a truer

THOUGHT is going to make me feel a lot better. As I withdraw my

belief in my painful THOUGHTS about my daughter, I make room for more

loving ones to take their place.

My Work is not done until my daughter can be in the blackest mood or

raging in a temper tantrum and I feel only the deepest love for her.

Loving what is, precious angel, and that would be you.

Neo

[Guest guest]

Neo, Thanks, we all need reminders and this one was beautiful! Eddie

>

>Reply-To: Loving-what-is

>To: Loving-what-is

>Subject: Re: Teenagers...how many worksheets can I do?

>Date: Wed, 04 Feb 2004 23:00:14 -0000

>

>

> > I realize that I am the projector. And I get more than frustrated

> > with my 15-yr-old and her moods, temper tantrums, lack of

> > communication, lack of affection...the whole teenage bit. I thought

> > I was better at this. Then, with the turnaround, I point my finger

> > back at myself, which just increases my own frustration with

> > myself.

>

>

>Hi MB,

>

>Only you can find your own answers, but if I thought someone (son,

>daughter, partner, boss etc.) could effect me then I would know that

>I was very confused.

>

>I can only be effected by my THINKING nothing else. My daughter could

>be in the middle of a temper tantrum. She could be waving her hands

>and screaming at the top of her voice, but that has NOTHING to do

>with how I feel. My feelings are caused by what I am THINKING while

>she waves her hands and screams. This is not easy to see because I

>have been programmed to look outward for the cause of my distress not

>within. Questions 3 and 4 of the Work bring this point home if they

>truly realised. Note how the Work is not at all concerned with

>anything external it focuses exculsively on our internal THINKING.

>

>If my daughter is in the middle of a temper tantrum I can remember

>that the tantrum is being caused by a story (THOUGHTS) in her mind

>which she has not investigated. I am just like her, my feelings are

>also being caused by a story in my mind about her tantrum.

>

>Once I have realised the true cause of my distress the TAs become

>useful. Since THOUGHTS are the cause of everything I feel, a truer

>THOUGHT is going to make me feel a lot better. As I withdraw my

>belief in my painful THOUGHTS about my daughter, I make room for more

>loving ones to take their place.

>

>My Work is not done until my daughter can be in the blackest mood or

>raging in a temper tantrum and I feel only the deepest love for her.

>

>Loving what is, precious angel, and that would be you.

>

>

>

>Neo

>

>

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[Guest guest]

Dear MB,

what beliefs do you do the work on? I usually always find a thought

that someone else has to change (if I look long enough, that is). Can

you find a thought how her changing would make you feel more

comfortable, or even make you happy?

Like if she did not have her moods you would not get frustrated?

What happens to me usually goes like: " She betrays me but that should

not affect me, so I am not supposed to be hurt. She can not make a

mistake and I should welcome every pain, so I can do the work on it. " .

Well, if it hurts me that she betrays me, I do the work on: " She should

not betray me. " That's how I find the thought.

Try not to 'realize' you are the projector and blame yourself. Because

that way you protect your stories, not yourself - in my experience. By

doing the work you change and the beliefs let go off you. Or not.

Happy working!

> I realize that I am the projector. And I get more than frustrated

> with my 15-yr-old and her moods, temper tantrums, lack of

> communication, lack of affection...the whole teenage bit. I thought I

> was better at this. Then, with the turnaround, I point my finger back

> at myself, which just increases my own frustration with myself. Being

> kind to ME and not worrying are my prayers in this life, yet I think

> I need a miracle on that score.

>

> My daughter is really a great kid, not in trouble, and with good

> grades. Maybe I should just be grateful for what I have and quit

> complaining. I can't seem to reach a point of satisfaction with

> MYSELF. Why am I so mean to ME? I wouldn't treat others like

> this...although I must at times. ARGHHHH!

>

> Help!

> MB