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> I was under the impression that my nada's

> verbal and emotional abuse

> was an attempt to annihilate my personhood so that I would not be

> separate from her. It wasn't. Nada is not that sophisticated.

Mine IS that sophisticated. She has explained with cool logic that

the goal of life is to annihilate the differences between people so

their personalities merge. She believes this is right and noble.

She practices what she preaches.

- Dan

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I believe my nada is a mixture of both - she lashes out because she

feels pain and wants others to feel pain, but she backs it up

with " logic " (nada logic), that anyone who doesn't agree with

(worship) her deserves to be annihilated.

This thread is reminding me that it's probably about time to read

UBM again :).

>

> > I was under the impression that my nada's

> > verbal and emotional abuse

> > was an attempt to annihilate my personhood so that I would not

be

> > separate from her. It wasn't. Nada is not that sophisticated.

>

> Mine IS that sophisticated. She has explained with cool logic

that

> the goal of life is to annihilate the differences between people

so

> their personalities merge. She believes this is right and noble.

> She practices what she preaches.

>

> - Dan

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Dear Charlotte,

You wrote:

> I was under the impression that my nada's verbal and emotional abuse

> was an attempt to annihilate my personhood so that I would not be

> separate from her. It wasn't. .... Nada's verbal

> abuse occurred in almost constant witch mode. It was retaliatory

> and vengeful; it was designed to hurt me just because she wanted me

> to hurt.

Thank you for that reminder. Mine did the same. Sometimes, I pity

her so much. I know she won't find any peace until she's dead. She

literally cannot think about what she's done to six children at this

point. I don't think a strong person could stand to face it. Someone

as ill as nada --well, I think it would destroy her.

My nada's verbal abuse was also in witch mode. Horrible, terrifying,

soul-destroying. That face. That twisted mouth. It does me good

these days to know she was intentionally hurting me, believe it or

not. It keeps me okay with my decision to completely separate from

her. When I think of her as only a victim of her illness, I get soft

and want to help, but she'd do her best to destroy me if I went back

at this point. She hates me that much and she'd make it her business

to see that this time, I didn't walk away--at least not in one piece.

You wrote:

> I was also under the impression that nada's desperation at keeping

> me in the house, telling me she had psychic visions I would die in a

> car wreck and telling me I couldn't drive, and implying I would get

> killed or raped any time I left the house ... I thought that WAS

> abuse and retaliatory. It was not. By THOSE things, she was

> actually trying to protect me, because, being a hermit, she actually

> believed those things to be true.

Our nada had " feelings " . Feelings of dread. A feeling " something "

would happen. I'm sure those feelings were real, but it made the

world seem too dangerous to enter, didn't it? A lot of by-passed

opportunites follow an upbringing like that.

I'm with you. Total separation is all that works for me. I just

couldn't seem to get across that desert to the oasis while I was still

behind a rock dodging bullets.

Les

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Dan,

You wrote:

> Mine IS that sophisticated. She has explained with cool logic that

> the goal of life is to annihilate the differences between people so

> their personalities merge. She believes this is right and noble.

> She practices what she preaches.

>

Mine is that sophisticated too. She loves to brag about her

intelligence and most people think her ideas are insightful. My

sisters who live near her, still *try* to live life according to her

philosophy. What a disaster that's been. Our nada's name begins with

" J " . Many times I've thought they should all just get a WWJD bracelet

and have done with the whole thing.

Les

PS While bragging that her IQ is high enough to qualify for MENSA, she

then tells her listeners that she qualifies though she didn't even

complete the test. She forgot to turn the page over! She doesn't see

the incongruity there. LOL

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