The Quigg Family (tragedy in NJ)

[Guest guest]

Hi, my friends. By now, I'm sure most of you have heard about the

tragic accident in which Neal Quigg and his two sons, and

, died in a fire in their home in New Jersey last Saturday. Their

mother, Anne, was hurt in the fire, but survived. Both boys were diagnosed

as having been on the spectrum, although apparently was considered to

be recovered. Thus some of you may have met or known the Quiggs through the

autism community.

I did not know the family personally, but I, like many of you, I'm

sure, was devastated to hear this news. In fact, it has affected me more

deeply than I can explain. I am not a mother yet, but as a wife, I cannot

imagine what the loss of a husband alone must mean, and Anne has lost not

only her husband but her children as well. I attended the wake last night

because I felt I had to be there and to do something, although clearly little

of strong impact can be done for Anne right now. Now, having met Anne,

having seen pictures of Neal and their boys, and having cried and grieved

along with the hundreds that attended the wake, I cannot describe the sadness

I feel for this woman and her family. Nor can I describe the incredible

strength and grace she showed last night, though I cannot imagine what she

must be feeling or thinking.

It's natural, I guess, to want to try to do something more for Anne.

None of us can touch her grief or lessen it, but I believe that we can be

there for her as a community. Whether by sending cards, food, clothes, money

-- anything -- I think that reaching out to her may mean more than we might

think as people who don't know her. To be honest, I'm frightened by what

might happen to her without as much love and support as we can give her. Not

just now, while the pain is still fresh, but later, too, when the crowds have

gone home and she may feel her loneliness most acutely.

All I can think to do is to offer my help. What I'd like to do is to

give a conference and donate all of the registration fees to Anne and her

family. Unfortunately, I don't have a big enough space in which to do it,

since the more attendees we have, the more money we'll raise. If any other

speakers want to participate or if anyone wants to help me organize this, to

help out by offering space, time, etc., please let me know. Otherwise, in

lieu of flowers Anne has requested that you send donations to Anne Quigg; in

the memo section write:  " and Quigg Fund. " She is also

in need of clothing (size 16 and large shirts). Mail to:

Cure Autism Now

700-76 Broadway

PMB 307

Westwood, NJ  07675

Finally, I wanted to share with you the poem inscribed on the Quigg

mass card; hopefully, it will remind us all to keep those we love close to

us.

Togetherness

Death is nothing at all--I have only slipped away into the next room.

Whatever we were to each other, that we still are. Call me by my old

familiar name, speak to me in the easy way which you always used. Laugh as

we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile,

think of me, pray for me. Let my name be the household word it always was.

Let it be spoken without effort. Life means all that it ever meant. It is

the same as it ever was; there is absolutely unbroken continuity. Why should

I be out of your mind because I am out of your sight? I am but waiting for

you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is

well. Nothing is past; nothing is lost. One brief moment and all will be as

before--only better, infinitely happier and forever we will all be one

together with Christ.

Thanks,

________________________________________

Burk, M.A.

Consulting Behavior Analyst

www.BurkABA.com