quote : The borderline mother

[Guest guest]

Hi!

I'm new and I started reading the posts from no.1 :-D I normally

don't do that but there is so much being posted here that helps me -

wow!

I found this in a 3 year old thread by Edith:

" The Borderline Mother "

1. Confuses her child

2. Does not apologize or remember inappropriate behavior

3. Expects to be taken care of

4. Punishes or discourages independence

5. Envies, ignores, or demeans her children's accomplishments

6. Destroys, denigrates, or undermines self-esteem

7. Expects children to respond to her needs

8. Frightens and upsets her children

9. Disciplines inconsistently or punitively

10. Feels left out, jealous or resentful if the child is

loved by someone else

11. Uses threats of abandonment (or actual abandonment)

to punish the child

12. Does not believe in her children's basic goodness

13. Does not trust her children

**************************************

Well and it's depressing but all points are true for my mother.

Astonishing really--- :-(((

I wa actually abandoned (several times) by my mother. does not trust

her children- that's an interesting one- I only now realized that I

don't trust my mother- a reflection of her behavior towards me---

And her jealousy when my aunt took care for me (because *she* had

left me!!!) was inexpressable--- mad---

This is all so sad----

whimseyish

[Guest guest]

Hi whimseyish,

Sorry to see your hurt. Thankfully, you're seeing the pattern and it

will help you heal from all the pain. Have you read the book The

Borderline Mother?

cl

> Hi!

>

> I'm new and I started reading the posts from no.1 :-D I normally

> don't do that but there is so much being posted here that helps me -

> wow!

>

> I found this in a 3 year old thread by Edith:

>

> " The Borderline Mother "

>

> 1. Confuses her child

> 2. Does not apologize or remember inappropriate behavior

> 3. Expects to be taken care of

> 4. Punishes or discourages independence

> 5. Envies, ignores, or demeans her children's accomplishments

> 6. Destroys, denigrates, or undermines self-esteem

> 7. Expects children to respond to her needs

> 8. Frightens and upsets her children

> 9. Disciplines inconsistently or punitively

> 10. Feels left out, jealous or resentful if the child is

> loved by someone else

> 11. Uses threats of abandonment (or actual abandonment)

> to punish the child

> 12. Does not believe in her children's basic goodness

> 13. Does not trust her children

>

> **************************************

>

> Well and it's depressing but all points are true for my mother.

> Astonishing really--- :-(((

>

> I wa actually abandoned (several times) by my mother. does not

trust

> her children- that's an interesting one- I only now realized that I

> don't trust my mother- a reflection of her behavior towards me---

>

> And her jealousy when my aunt took care for me (because *she* had

> left me!!!) was inexpressable--- mad---

>

> This is all so sad----

>

> whimseyish

[Guest guest]

Hi whimseyish,

Sorry to see your hurt. Thankfully, you're seeing the pattern and it

will help you heal from all the pain. Have you read the book The

Borderline Mother?

cl

> Hi!

>

> I'm new and I started reading the posts from no.1 :-D I normally

> don't do that but there is so much being posted here that helps me -

> wow!

>

> I found this in a 3 year old thread by Edith:

>

> " The Borderline Mother "

>

> 1. Confuses her child

> 2. Does not apologize or remember inappropriate behavior

> 3. Expects to be taken care of

> 4. Punishes or discourages independence

> 5. Envies, ignores, or demeans her children's accomplishments

> 6. Destroys, denigrates, or undermines self-esteem

> 7. Expects children to respond to her needs

> 8. Frightens and upsets her children

> 9. Disciplines inconsistently or punitively

> 10. Feels left out, jealous or resentful if the child is

> loved by someone else

> 11. Uses threats of abandonment (or actual abandonment)

> to punish the child

> 12. Does not believe in her children's basic goodness

> 13. Does not trust her children

>

> **************************************

>

> Well and it's depressing but all points are true for my mother.

> Astonishing really--- :-(((

>

> I wa actually abandoned (several times) by my mother. does not

trust

> her children- that's an interesting one- I only now realized that I

> don't trust my mother- a reflection of her behavior towards me---

>

> And her jealousy when my aunt took care for me (because *she* had

> left me!!!) was inexpressable--- mad---

>

> This is all so sad----

>

> whimseyish

[Guest guest]

Hi whimseyish,

Sorry to see your hurt. Thankfully, you're seeing the pattern and it

will help you heal from all the pain. Have you read the book The

Borderline Mother?

cl

> Hi!

>

> I'm new and I started reading the posts from no.1 :-D I normally

> don't do that but there is so much being posted here that helps me -

> wow!

>

> I found this in a 3 year old thread by Edith:

>

> " The Borderline Mother "

>

> 1. Confuses her child

> 2. Does not apologize or remember inappropriate behavior

> 3. Expects to be taken care of

> 4. Punishes or discourages independence

> 5. Envies, ignores, or demeans her children's accomplishments

> 6. Destroys, denigrates, or undermines self-esteem

> 7. Expects children to respond to her needs

> 8. Frightens and upsets her children

> 9. Disciplines inconsistently or punitively

> 10. Feels left out, jealous or resentful if the child is

> loved by someone else

> 11. Uses threats of abandonment (or actual abandonment)

> to punish the child

> 12. Does not believe in her children's basic goodness

> 13. Does not trust her children

>

> **************************************

>

> Well and it's depressing but all points are true for my mother.

> Astonishing really--- :-(((

>

> I wa actually abandoned (several times) by my mother. does not

trust

> her children- that's an interesting one- I only now realized that I

> don't trust my mother- a reflection of her behavior towards me---

>

> And her jealousy when my aunt took care for me (because *she* had

> left me!!!) was inexpressable--- mad---

>

> This is all so sad----

>

> whimseyish