Re: Meds and depression --Edith, Can you comment?

[Guest guest]

Thanks for responding, .

I've been back to my shrink since I posted this, and he increased my

dose of Wellbutrin and zoloft, and wants me to give the new

dose/schedule of adderall another try. I wonder how much of the

prefrontal cortex problems associated with BPD overlap with ADD, and

if BPD promotes development thereof. Who knows, since treatment is

based on symptoms anyway. I think that I'm still expecting that I

can make my relationship with my parents work like a healthy one,

and it's just taking longer than I'd like.

My mother also has accused me of too much and not enough medication

in response to my cornering her logically. Any port in a storm to

keep her floating... Your nada experience sounds remarkably like

the one I had with my nada this summer. Irregardless of the

processes behind my symptoms, nada bears all the responsibility as

the eternal martyr. Sound so familiar...

K

> >

> > But what I thought was depression might really have been just a

> > relaxing from

> > the over-achieving cycle of constant activity I had thrown

myself

> > into for

> > years. In contrast, not being revved up and always doing

something

> > seemed like

> > depression to me.

> >

> >

> > ~~~~~~~This describes me so well, although I am very fatigued

and

> > I'm still depressed quite often, but not to the degree that I

once

> > was. I also have a husband in pain with loads of problems, and

I'm

> > showing my own signs of wear.

> >

> > When first treated for ADD this summer, I had a big elevation in

> > mood in response to the meds. I'm not sure if this is what life

is

> > like for normal people, but with the anxiety associated with ADD

> > dropped, it seems like anxiety was my one and only motivator. I

> > don't know what a normal baseline should be, and to me, normal

(in

> > the general neurochemical & brain function sense) seems weird. I

> > have no experience at it. For an overachiever, there are no

extra

> > credit assignments to help you master things faster.

> >

> > About 2 weeks ago, I made an unscheduled visit with my

psychiatrist

> > to ask if the adderall effect could be wearing off. He changed

the

> > dose, but I've been so out of sorts with the Thanksgiving thing,

Who

> > knows.

> >

> > Edith, do you have any experience with people who describe this?

It

> > seems to have a great deal in common with the grief stages. I

don't

> > think that I'm hitting them all in the right order.

> >

> > Thanks, K

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner

> > " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be

ordered via

> > 1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go

to:

> > http://www.BPDCentral.com

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

My best girlfriend (who was sexually abused by her father and

brother BTW) keeps reminding me that it is impossible to have a

healthy relationship with an unhealthy person that is unwilling to

change. That reminds me that she always encourages me to keep

focusing on the truth (sets us free), and to keep in my mind that

nada does all at great effort to keep the truth hidden.

Nada accuses me that I hate her (projection), and I half wish that I

really did. I'd then be free. So do I have in my head that hatred

is critical for detatchment? Does that mean that my concept of love

and honor does not yet provide for detatchment?

Hmmm. Hope this sinks into my head and heart really well, soon to

transform into healthy detatchment accompanied by a sense of freedom

and liberty...

K

> > > >

> > > > But what I thought was depression might really have been

just a

> > > > relaxing from

> > > > the over-achieving cycle of constant activity I had thrown

> > myself

> > > > into for

> > > > years. In contrast, not being revved up and always doing

> > something

> > > > seemed like

> > > > depression to me.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > ~~~~~~~This describes me so well, although I am very

fatigued

> > and

> > > > I'm still depressed quite often, but not to the degree that

I

> > once

> > > > was. I also have a husband in pain with loads of problems,

and

> > I'm

> > > > showing my own signs of wear.

> > > >

> > > > When first treated for ADD this summer, I had a big

elevation in

> > > > mood in response to the meds. I'm not sure if this is what

life

> > is

> > > > like for normal people, but with the anxiety associated with

ADD

> > > > dropped, it seems like anxiety was my one and only

motivator. I

> > > > don't know what a normal baseline should be, and to me,

normal

> > (in

> > > > the general neurochemical & brain function sense) seems

weird. I

> > > > have no experience at it. For an overachiever, there are no

> > extra

> > > > credit assignments to help you master things faster.

> > > >

> > > > About 2 weeks ago, I made an unscheduled visit with my

> > psychiatrist

> > > > to ask if the adderall effect could be wearing off. He

changed

> > the

> > > > dose, but I've been so out of sorts with the Thanksgiving

thing,

> > Who

> > > > knows.

> > > >

> > > > Edith, do you have any experience with people who describe

this?

> > It

> > > > seems to have a great deal in common with the grief stages.

I

> > don't

> > > > think that I'm hitting them all in the right order.

> > > >

> > > > Thanks, K

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-

owner

> > > > " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be

> > ordered via

> > > > 1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents,

go

> > to:

> > > > http://www.BPDCentral.com

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

Hi K

Sorry to horn in on your conversation but ,of course having a nada I

can realte to a lot of what you said. Just some food for thought:

> > > > >

> > > > > But what I thought was depression might really have been

> just a

> > > > > relaxing from

> > > > > the over-achieving cycle of constant activity I had thrown

> > > myself

> > > > > into for

> > > > > years. In contrast, not being revved up and always doing

> > > something

> > > > > seemed like

> > > > > depression to me.

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > ~~~~~~~This describes me so well, although I am very

> fatigued

> > > and

> > > > > I'm still depressed quite often, but not to the degree that

> I

> > > once

> > > > > was. I also have a husband in pain with loads of problems,

> and

> > > I'm

> > > > > showing my own signs of wear.

> > > > >

> > > > > When first treated for ADD this summer, I had a big

> elevation in

> > > > > mood in response to the meds. I'm not sure if this is what

> life

> > > is

> > > > > like for normal people, but with the anxiety associated

with

> ADD

> > > > > dropped, it seems like anxiety was my one and only

> motivator. I

> > > > > don't know what a normal baseline should be, and to me,

> normal

> > > (in

> > > > > the general neurochemical & brain function sense) seems

> weird. I

> > > > > have no experience at it. For an overachiever, there are no

> > > extra

> > > > > credit assignments to help you master things faster.

> > > > >

> > > > > About 2 weeks ago, I made an unscheduled visit with my

> > > psychiatrist

> > > > > to ask if the adderall effect could be wearing off. He

> changed

> > > the

> > > > > dose, but I've been so out of sorts with the Thanksgiving

> thing,

> > > Who

> > > > > knows.

> > > > >

> > > > > Edith, do you have any experience with people who describe

> this?

> > > It

> > > > > seems to have a great deal in common with the grief stages.

> I

> > > don't

> > > > > think that I'm hitting them all in the right order.

> > > > >

> > > > > Thanks, K

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-

> owner

> > > > > " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be

> > > ordered via

> > > > > 1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of

contents,

> go

> > > to:

> > > > > http://www.BPDCentral.com

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

[Guest guest]

cntbreathe wrote:

> ... if you're

> having obssessive anger/hatred thoughts about people/situation

> doesn't that keep you from seperating? At least that's what I find

> for myself anyway.

Edith here...

Yes. But the anger is a necessary stage that one goes through on the

recovery path. Its righteously your anger. Own it. Contrary to nada's

way of thinking, its OK to be angry.

- Edith

PS. Please everyone, trim the extraneous stuff off the bottoms of your

posts. That way the ppl on Digest will be happy.

[Guest guest]

cntbreathe wrote:

> ... if you're

> having obssessive anger/hatred thoughts about people/situation

> doesn't that keep you from seperating? At least that's what I find

> for myself anyway.

Edith here...

Yes. But the anger is a necessary stage that one goes through on the

recovery path. Its righteously your anger. Own it. Contrary to nada's

way of thinking, its OK to be angry.

- Edith

PS. Please everyone, trim the extraneous stuff off the bottoms of your

posts. That way the ppl on Digest will be happy.