Guest guest Posted June 10, 2004 Report Share Posted June 10, 2004 Tracey, Welcome to ModOasis. This is a good place for you to be. Everyone understands each other, because we have either been through it - or been through something similar. And as opposed to the 'rest of the population', we know that what people are writing about really did happen. Often, when we try to talk about this to others, they just don't believe us because they can't comprehend that a parent could do the things our parents did. I just found out about BPD last fall, although I did know all my life that nada had some kind of problems. With that knowledge, and the fact that I was separating myself from my parents because I could no longer ignore or deal with her behavior, I went into a very bad depression. I since learned that this is not unusual for KOs (Kids of BPD parents). I am pretty much over the depression - though it does pop up now and again. I am getting over the guilt. (How dare I do this to my mother? How dare she have done the things she did to her daughter!!!) I think you are right about the pain....it may be that before you kept it suppressed, and now you are dealing with it head on. Going to counseling is a good idea.....Having a professional to talk to about all of this is very helpful. Take care of yourself - keep on reading this board and post whenever you want/need to. Sylvia > I just wanted to say, that I am a newbie, and though I have gained > much insight and information about BPD, due to a very loving friend, > I am grieving tremendously right now. I just divorced my nada. I > feel extremely GUILTY about the whole situation. I am grieving the > loss of the mom that I will never have, at least not the mom that I > would like to have. I am seeing how this is affecting many areas of > my life right now and I am in an incredible amount of pain though I > sense that this pain is no different than the pain I have lived with > in dealing with her for 35 very long years. I began seeing a > counselor again, as I have so many times in my life, though I am > more hopeful as now I know about BPD and am hoping that in knowing > what I am dealing with I will be better able to understand and get > beyond this place. I am open to any suggestions and or support > should anyone relate. I am feeling pretty down right now. Thank you, > Tracey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2004 Report Share Posted June 10, 2004 Tracey, Welcome to ModOasis. This is a good place for you to be. Everyone understands each other, because we have either been through it - or been through something similar. And as opposed to the 'rest of the population', we know that what people are writing about really did happen. Often, when we try to talk about this to others, they just don't believe us because they can't comprehend that a parent could do the things our parents did. I just found out about BPD last fall, although I did know all my life that nada had some kind of problems. With that knowledge, and the fact that I was separating myself from my parents because I could no longer ignore or deal with her behavior, I went into a very bad depression. I since learned that this is not unusual for KOs (Kids of BPD parents). I am pretty much over the depression - though it does pop up now and again. I am getting over the guilt. (How dare I do this to my mother? How dare she have done the things she did to her daughter!!!) I think you are right about the pain....it may be that before you kept it suppressed, and now you are dealing with it head on. Going to counseling is a good idea.....Having a professional to talk to about all of this is very helpful. Take care of yourself - keep on reading this board and post whenever you want/need to. Sylvia > I just wanted to say, that I am a newbie, and though I have gained > much insight and information about BPD, due to a very loving friend, > I am grieving tremendously right now. I just divorced my nada. I > feel extremely GUILTY about the whole situation. I am grieving the > loss of the mom that I will never have, at least not the mom that I > would like to have. I am seeing how this is affecting many areas of > my life right now and I am in an incredible amount of pain though I > sense that this pain is no different than the pain I have lived with > in dealing with her for 35 very long years. I began seeing a > counselor again, as I have so many times in my life, though I am > more hopeful as now I know about BPD and am hoping that in knowing > what I am dealing with I will be better able to understand and get > beyond this place. I am open to any suggestions and or support > should anyone relate. I am feeling pretty down right now. Thank you, > Tracey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2004 Report Share Posted June 10, 2004 Tracey, Welcome to ModOasis. This is a good place for you to be. Everyone understands each other, because we have either been through it - or been through something similar. And as opposed to the 'rest of the population', we know that what people are writing about really did happen. Often, when we try to talk about this to others, they just don't believe us because they can't comprehend that a parent could do the things our parents did. I just found out about BPD last fall, although I did know all my life that nada had some kind of problems. With that knowledge, and the fact that I was separating myself from my parents because I could no longer ignore or deal with her behavior, I went into a very bad depression. I since learned that this is not unusual for KOs (Kids of BPD parents). I am pretty much over the depression - though it does pop up now and again. I am getting over the guilt. (How dare I do this to my mother? How dare she have done the things she did to her daughter!!!) I think you are right about the pain....it may be that before you kept it suppressed, and now you are dealing with it head on. Going to counseling is a good idea.....Having a professional to talk to about all of this is very helpful. Take care of yourself - keep on reading this board and post whenever you want/need to. Sylvia > I just wanted to say, that I am a newbie, and though I have gained > much insight and information about BPD, due to a very loving friend, > I am grieving tremendously right now. I just divorced my nada. I > feel extremely GUILTY about the whole situation. I am grieving the > loss of the mom that I will never have, at least not the mom that I > would like to have. I am seeing how this is affecting many areas of > my life right now and I am in an incredible amount of pain though I > sense that this pain is no different than the pain I have lived with > in dealing with her for 35 very long years. I began seeing a > counselor again, as I have so many times in my life, though I am > more hopeful as now I know about BPD and am hoping that in knowing > what I am dealing with I will be better able to understand and get > beyond this place. I am open to any suggestions and or support > should anyone relate. I am feeling pretty down right now. Thank you, > Tracey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2004 Report Share Posted June 10, 2004 welcome. Of couse you feel guilty, you're supposed to always love your mother. But when she has BPD , it's not a true mother/daughter relationship. The insults, the blackmail, the manipulation, it all adds up and we can only take so much. Jackie > I just wanted to say, that I am a newbie, and though I have gained > much insight and information about BPD, due to a very loving friend, > I am grieving tremendously right now. I just divorced my nada. I > feel extremely GUILTY about the whole situation. I am grieving the > loss of the mom that I will never have, at least not the mom that I > would like to have. I am seeing how this is affecting many areas of > my life right now and I am in an incredible amount of pain though I > sense that this pain is no different than the pain I have lived with > in dealing with her for 35 very long years. I began seeing a > counselor again, as I have so many times in my life, though I am > more hopeful as now I know about BPD and am hoping that in knowing > what I am dealing with I will be better able to understand and get > beyond this place. I am open to any suggestions and or support > should anyone relate. I am feeling pretty down right now. Thank you, > Tracey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2004 Report Share Posted June 10, 2004 welcome. Of couse you feel guilty, you're supposed to always love your mother. But when she has BPD , it's not a true mother/daughter relationship. The insults, the blackmail, the manipulation, it all adds up and we can only take so much. Jackie > I just wanted to say, that I am a newbie, and though I have gained > much insight and information about BPD, due to a very loving friend, > I am grieving tremendously right now. I just divorced my nada. I > feel extremely GUILTY about the whole situation. I am grieving the > loss of the mom that I will never have, at least not the mom that I > would like to have. I am seeing how this is affecting many areas of > my life right now and I am in an incredible amount of pain though I > sense that this pain is no different than the pain I have lived with > in dealing with her for 35 very long years. I began seeing a > counselor again, as I have so many times in my life, though I am > more hopeful as now I know about BPD and am hoping that in knowing > what I am dealing with I will be better able to understand and get > beyond this place. I am open to any suggestions and or support > should anyone relate. I am feeling pretty down right now. Thank you, > Tracey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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