Guest guest Posted November 17, 2004 Report Share Posted November 17, 2004 Dear M, This EXACT same thing happened to me! I mean exactly. I have a vivid memory of trying to hold a newborn cousin, I was around 6 to 8 years old, and in front of the whole family nada did the exact same thing, telling everyone I was too clumsy and would hurt the baby. It is one of my most truamatic childhood memories. (Though aren't they ALL traumatic, really.) I don't remember, but she also must have done similar hostile things when I tried to help her care for my sister (who is 1 and 1/2 years younger). Could nada have been projecting her OWN inability to mother onto us? > > Hi all, > > Friends of ours had a baby over the weekend, and they invited us to > come over and say hi to their newest family member. I've always been > a bit nervous around babies. I was thinking about that this morning > and I recalled a memory - > > When my little brother was born (I was 7), nada gave him to me to > hold and went somewhere else - well, nobody ever taught me how to > hold a baby properly. So I wasn't supporting his head right and when > she came back, she snatched him away from me and wouldn't let me > hold him again. I remember how terrible I felt, embarrassed that I > didn't know how to hold a baby (what kind of female doesn't know how > to hold a baby??), and mortified that I might have hurt him. > > Anyway, it wasn't exactly a fond memory but I'm glad it surfaced, > because it probably contributes to how I feel about having children > and being around babies. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 17, 2004 Report Share Posted November 17, 2004 Hi Charlotte That could definitely be the case. One part of that memory that sticks for me is how she handed him to me - and then walked away. I don't have children (yet), but I imagine if I did, I'd be standing close to my young daughter while she tried, for the very first time, to hold my infant child. The other thing that came to mind was a thread earlier on this list, about how our nadas didn't teach us the basics about so many things - a normal mother would have explained about holding babies BEFORE handing an infant over to a young child.. I mean, how were we supposed to KNOW things like that? I still have this problem, when I feel like someone is judging me or angry at me for something I didn't know. The whole shame/embarrasment/mortification junk comes back. Icky stuff. > > > > Hi all, > > > > Friends of ours had a baby over the weekend, and they invited us > to > > come over and say hi to their newest family member. I've always > been > > a bit nervous around babies. I was thinking about that this > morning > > and I recalled a memory - > > > > When my little brother was born (I was 7), nada gave him to me to > > hold and went somewhere else - well, nobody ever taught me how to > > hold a baby properly. So I wasn't supporting his head right and > when > > she came back, she snatched him away from me and wouldn't let me > > hold him again. I remember how terrible I felt, embarrassed that I > > didn't know how to hold a baby (what kind of female doesn't know > how > > to hold a baby??), and mortified that I might have hurt him. > > > > Anyway, it wasn't exactly a fond memory but I'm glad it surfaced, > > because it probably contributes to how I feel about having > children > > and being around babies. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 17, 2004 Report Share Posted November 17, 2004 Hi Charlotte That could definitely be the case. One part of that memory that sticks for me is how she handed him to me - and then walked away. I don't have children (yet), but I imagine if I did, I'd be standing close to my young daughter while she tried, for the very first time, to hold my infant child. The other thing that came to mind was a thread earlier on this list, about how our nadas didn't teach us the basics about so many things - a normal mother would have explained about holding babies BEFORE handing an infant over to a young child.. I mean, how were we supposed to KNOW things like that? I still have this problem, when I feel like someone is judging me or angry at me for something I didn't know. The whole shame/embarrasment/mortification junk comes back. Icky stuff. > > > > Hi all, > > > > Friends of ours had a baby over the weekend, and they invited us > to > > come over and say hi to their newest family member. I've always > been > > a bit nervous around babies. I was thinking about that this > morning > > and I recalled a memory - > > > > When my little brother was born (I was 7), nada gave him to me to > > hold and went somewhere else - well, nobody ever taught me how to > > hold a baby properly. So I wasn't supporting his head right and > when > > she came back, she snatched him away from me and wouldn't let me > > hold him again. I remember how terrible I felt, embarrassed that I > > didn't know how to hold a baby (what kind of female doesn't know > how > > to hold a baby??), and mortified that I might have hurt him. > > > > Anyway, it wasn't exactly a fond memory but I'm glad it surfaced, > > because it probably contributes to how I feel about having > children > > and being around babies. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 17, 2004 Report Share Posted November 17, 2004 Hi Charlotte That could definitely be the case. One part of that memory that sticks for me is how she handed him to me - and then walked away. I don't have children (yet), but I imagine if I did, I'd be standing close to my young daughter while she tried, for the very first time, to hold my infant child. The other thing that came to mind was a thread earlier on this list, about how our nadas didn't teach us the basics about so many things - a normal mother would have explained about holding babies BEFORE handing an infant over to a young child.. I mean, how were we supposed to KNOW things like that? I still have this problem, when I feel like someone is judging me or angry at me for something I didn't know. The whole shame/embarrasment/mortification junk comes back. Icky stuff. > > > > Hi all, > > > > Friends of ours had a baby over the weekend, and they invited us > to > > come over and say hi to their newest family member. I've always > been > > a bit nervous around babies. I was thinking about that this > morning > > and I recalled a memory - > > > > When my little brother was born (I was 7), nada gave him to me to > > hold and went somewhere else - well, nobody ever taught me how to > > hold a baby properly. So I wasn't supporting his head right and > when > > she came back, she snatched him away from me and wouldn't let me > > hold him again. I remember how terrible I felt, embarrassed that I > > didn't know how to hold a baby (what kind of female doesn't know > how > > to hold a baby??), and mortified that I might have hurt him. > > > > Anyway, it wasn't exactly a fond memory but I'm glad it surfaced, > > because it probably contributes to how I feel about having > children > > and being around babies. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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