I'm a Worrier

[Guest guest]

Now that I’m within striking distance (last shot Feb

22) of finishing tx, I’m starting to get somewhat apprehensive about what

will be……you know, since last May, my entire focus has been getting

to start and finish. I guess I had this image of “all being well”

once that happened and now, I am starting to realize that not much has changed

and all the same problems (like being unemployed) will be staring me in the

face again.

And now, I won’t be able to say that I’ll deal

with that after I finish tx since I’ll be finished! For those who

have been fortunate enough to finish, how did it feel when it was over?

Relief I’m sure, but did you feel better physically?

Since the tx seems to have aggravated my RA and neuropathy,

I’m hoping that these things are going to calm down with time. I

have no income and need to work to support myself, but I’m not sure that

I’m ready to work right now.

I know I should be thrilled that I’m close to being

finished with tx, but I guess I’m a worrier about what will happen, what

may happen, what could happen……………LOL

Dorothy

[Guest guest]

Get to your nearby goal and then give yourself time, Dorothy. No 2 people are alike, but it will take you time to recover from the effects of the conventional meds you have been on. Be good to youself, continue to drink enough fluids and eat wholesome food. Take it one day at a time, it's not an instant better, but a gradual one.. Your body will need time to detox. Prayers are ever with you and with all here.. Hugs, Sheena Dorothy

wrote: Now that I’m within striking distance (last shot Feb 22) of finishing tx, I’m starting to get somewhat apprehensive about what will be……you know, since last May, my entire focus has been getting to start and finish. I guess I had this image of “all being well” once that happened and now, I am starting to realize that not much has changed and all the same problems (like being unemployed) will be staring me in

the face again. And now, I won’t be able to say that I’ll deal with that after I finish tx since I’ll be finished! For those who have been fortunate enough to finish, how did it feel when it was over? Relief I’m sure, but did you feel better physically? Since the tx seems to have aggravated my RA and neuropathy, I’m hoping that these things are going to calm down with time. I have no income and need to work to support myself, but I’m not sure that I’m ready to

work right now. I know I should be thrilled that I’m close to being finished with tx, but I guess I’m a worrier about what will happen, what may happen, what could happen……………LOL Dorothy

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

[Guest guest]

Get to your nearby goal and then give yourself time, Dorothy. No 2 people are alike, but it will take you time to recover from the effects of the conventional meds you have been on. Be good to youself, continue to drink enough fluids and eat wholesome food. Take it one day at a time, it's not an instant better, but a gradual one.. Your body will need time to detox. Prayers are ever with you and with all here.. Hugs, Sheena Dorothy

wrote: Now that I’m within striking distance (last shot Feb 22) of finishing tx, I’m starting to get somewhat apprehensive about what will be……you know, since last May, my entire focus has been getting to start and finish. I guess I had this image of “all being well” once that happened and now, I am starting to realize that not much has changed and all the same problems (like being unemployed) will be staring me in

the face again. And now, I won’t be able to say that I’ll deal with that after I finish tx since I’ll be finished! For those who have been fortunate enough to finish, how did it feel when it was over? Relief I’m sure, but did you feel better physically? Since the tx seems to have aggravated my RA and neuropathy, I’m hoping that these things are going to calm down with time. I have no income and need to work to support myself, but I’m not sure that I’m ready to

work right now. I know I should be thrilled that I’m close to being finished with tx, but I guess I’m a worrier about what will happen, what may happen, what could happen……………LOL Dorothy

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

[Guest guest]

Get to your nearby goal and then give yourself time, Dorothy. No 2 people are alike, but it will take you time to recover from the effects of the conventional meds you have been on. Be good to youself, continue to drink enough fluids and eat wholesome food. Take it one day at a time, it's not an instant better, but a gradual one.. Your body will need time to detox. Prayers are ever with you and with all here.. Hugs, Sheena Dorothy

wrote: Now that I’m within striking distance (last shot Feb 22) of finishing tx, I’m starting to get somewhat apprehensive about what will be……you know, since last May, my entire focus has been getting to start and finish. I guess I had this image of “all being well” once that happened and now, I am starting to realize that not much has changed and all the same problems (like being unemployed) will be staring me in

the face again. And now, I won’t be able to say that I’ll deal with that after I finish tx since I’ll be finished! For those who have been fortunate enough to finish, how did it feel when it was over? Relief I’m sure, but did you feel better physically? Since the tx seems to have aggravated my RA and neuropathy, I’m hoping that these things are going to calm down with time. I have no income and need to work to support myself, but I’m not sure that I’m ready to

work right now. I know I should be thrilled that I’m close to being finished with tx, but I guess I’m a worrier about what will happen, what may happen, what could happen……………LOL Dorothy

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

[Guest guest]

Sheena, THAT was EXCELLENT advice!!! Sheena wrote: Get

to your nearby goal and then give yourself time, Dorothy. No 2 people are alike, but it will take you time to recover from the effects of the conventional meds you have been on. Be good to youself, continue to drink enough fluids and eat wholesome food. Take it one day at a time, it's not an instant better, but a gradual one.. Your body will need time to detox. Prayers are ever with you and with all here.. Hugs, Sheena Dorothy

<dorvoptonline (DOT) net> wrote: Now that I’m within striking distance (last shot Feb 22) of finishing tx, I’m starting to get somewhat apprehensive about what will be……you know, since last May, my entire focus has been getting to start and finish. I guess I had this image of “all being well” once that happened and now, I am starting to realize that not much has changed and all the same problems (like being unemployed) will be staring me in the face again. And now, I won’t be able to say that I’ll

deal with that after I finish tx since I’ll be finished! For those who have been fortunate enough to finish, how did it feel when it was over? Relief I’m sure, but did you feel better physically? Since the tx seems to have aggravated my RA and neuropathy, I’m hoping that these things are going to calm down with time. I have no income and need to work to support myself, but I’m not sure that I’m ready to work right now. I know I should be thrilled that I’m close to

being finished with tx, but I guess I’m a worrier about what will happen, what may happen, what could happen……………LOL Dorothy Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. Jackie

[Guest guest]

Dorothy! Honey, I remember feeling exactly like you are feeling now!!! And actually, I was terrifed to be done with tx,, I KNEW that the entire time I'd been on tx, my virus was undetectible,, so was it gonna come back? It felt awesome to know that I no longer had to take those gawd awful pills and inject myself with Riba, but at the same time it was very very scary,, cuz was it gonna come back.. What I did was to focus one day at a time.. to not allow myself to get terrified about any of this.. to place it in God's hands and to remind myself of the promise that I stood upon the entire time I was on tx... and to remind myself that stress is NOT good for our livers,, and that worrying about it was

NOT going to change anything,, it is what it is.. you know? Once I reached 6 months, my worry went down a bit, but even now,, I still worry about it while waiting for PCR results.. and this month, it will be 5 years since I took my last shot! I think I will always be worried every PCR... but it does seem to be less and less... and I know that all this time that my liver has not been dealing with this virus, my liver is healing up and getting better... You need to allow your body to heal and not be in such a hurry to get back to work if you can afford to wait.. remember,, you've been putting strong medicines in your body and it will take time for your body to recover.. Just remember that we're here for you! hugs jax Dorothy wrote: Now that I’m within striking distance (last shot Feb 22) of finishing tx, I’m starting to get somewhat apprehensive about what will be……you know, since last May, my entire focus has been getting to start and finish. I guess I had this image of “all being well” once that happened and now, I am starting to realize that not much has changed and all the same problems (like being

unemployed) will be staring me in the face again. And now, I won’t be able to say that I’ll deal with that after I finish tx since I’ll be finished! For those who have been fortunate enough to finish, how did it feel when it was over? Relief I’m sure, but did you feel better physically? Since the tx seems to have aggravated my RA and neuropathy, I’m hoping that these things are going to calm down with time. I have no income and need to work to support myself, but

I’m not sure that I’m ready to work right now. I know I should be thrilled that I’m close to being finished with tx, but I guess I’m a worrier about what will happen, what may happen, what could happen……………LOL Dorothy Jackie

[Guest guest]

Funny thing is that I am pretty confident

about beating the virus. I’m more worried about what I’m

going to do with my life from here……like I said, I guess this was

kind of a “stalling” action where I didn’t have to think

about or explain what the hell I’m going to do next. I worked as an

Exec Asst for years and was well liked and very respected. Then I was

laid off in a “Reduction in Force” and 3 months later, I got ill

with peripheral neuropathy in my right leg. That was a little over 2

years ago and my life has gone downhill since then.

There were other health issues and 2 jobs

I had didn’t work out. My marriage of over 34 years is a shambles

and my financial situation is shaky. I have no income and have to tap my

retirement funds now to pay my bills. I own an apartment with no

mortgage, but I live on Long Island,

NY and my property taxes last

year on a one-bedroom apartment were $7,650! Most people don’t pay

half that for a house! And that doesn’t include my common charges

to the co-op association, heat, water, electric, car insurance, medical

co-pays, etc. etc. etc.

I want to go back to work, but now I’ve

lost a lot of my confidence and there’s the last 2+ years to explain on a

resume and interview. I am also dependent on the pain meds I’ve

taken the last 2 years & depending on whether I’ve just filled my RX

or it’s the end of the month and I’m running low, I may or may not

be able to function. And don’t get me started on hot flashes

and THAT whole thing! What next????

I fully expect to try to relax next month

once I’m off the Pegasys and riba (thank God!) and see how it goes. And

I have been planning on seeing an attorney about the possibility of filing for

permanent disability.

It’s just good to talk about it and

cry a little I guess. I know that I am a lot more fortunate than many and

I do own a home and I have some retirement money to use. I’m just

venting and sometimes feel like “Why did this all happen to me?”

But I went through that 2 years ago when I couldn’t walk and I realized

that I’m no one special and why not me? And I CAN walk now and

things really are better now than they were then, but I forget all that a lot

of the time………

Thanks for listening J It hasn’t

been a great day for me L

From:

Hepatitis_C_Central

[mailto:Hepatitis_C_Central ] On

Behalf Of Jackie on

Sent: Sunday, February 03, 2008

5:05 PM

To:

Hepatitis_C_Central

Subject: Re:

I'm a Worrier

Dorothy!

Honey, I remember feeling exactly like you are

feeling now!!! And actually, I was terrifed to be done with tx,, I KNEW that

the entire time I'd been on tx, my virus was undetectible,, so was it

gonna come back? It felt awesome to know that I no longer had to take those

gawd awful pills and inject myself with Riba, but at the same time it was

very very scary,, cuz was it gonna come back.. What I did was to focus one

day at a time.. to not allow myself to get terrified about any of this.. to

place it in God's hands and to remind myself of the promise that I stood upon

the entire time I was on tx... and to remind myself that stress is NOT good

for our livers,, and that worrying about it was NOT going to change

anything,, it is what it is.. you know? Once I reached 6 months, my

worry went down a bit, but even now,, I still worry about it while waiting

for PCR results.. and this month, it will be 5 years since I took my last

shot! I think I will always be worried every PCR... but it does seem to

be less and less... and I know that all this time that my liver has not been

dealing with this virus, my liver is healing up and getting better...

You need to allow your body to heal and not be in

such a hurry to get back to work if you can afford to wait.. remember,, you've

been putting strong medicines in your body and it will take time for your

body to recover..

Just remember that we're here for you!

hugs

jax

[Guest guest]

HAHA That's the spirit. I did the best thing I could have done for myself, but my life was different. The insurance alone is worth not filing divorce. I had nothing either way and I had a husband who was violent and loved mind games, so I needed to get gone.

This husband, NOT the love of my life, is a good enough man and takes care of me as far as he is able to do so. He doesn't have a lot of caring ability, but he does try.

Sharon in NW WashingtonAll I have seen teaches me to trust in the Creator for all that I have not seen. Ralph Waldo Emerson

RE: I'm a Worrier

I should have stayed in California when I made that big break, but I did miss NY and my Dad was here. I also love my husband and he had really gotten his stuff together. Leaving him was the best thing I could have done for him and he admitted that. He changed a lot of bad ways, but his core problems still existed and he acted out in other ways.

I never needed a divorce so I never got one. I suppose if I had met someone else, I would have done it. I did see an attorney once a few years ago when his bi-polar (my dx) was out of control, but never went through with it. Since I did end up losing my job and then got sick, it's a good thing. With the medical and dental he provides, I've been very lucky.

And I wouldn't be surprised if we didn't end up together again....maybe in assisted living!!!

[Guest guest]

There is no other choice but to tgo on, but I used to want something else as well. My childhood and early marriages (2) were unbearably inhappy and dysfunctional. Yes, My husband gives me plenty to build on. I'll go on til the end comes.

Hope all works out well for you, Dorothy. This disease is sufficient to fill the days with stress without the outside forces pulling at one as well.

Sharon in NW WashingtonAll I have seen teaches me to trust in the Creator for all that I have not seen. Ralph Waldo Emerson

RE: I'm a Worrier

I hope that your life together is all that you need it to be at this point of your life. That's about all any of us can hope for and sometimes, we're blessed with true happiness as a bonus.

Mine is a caring man, but he's got so much emotional baggage, he can't face himself...never mind me or his own family. It's very sad since he has a wife that loves him, he has a home and he has 2 sisters, 3 nieces and a nephew that are being deprived of sharing the usual family joys (and sorrows) with him. It's been a very upsetting few years for all of us.

And I have a lot of anger over all of this too and that doesn't help me trying to work through tx and my other health problems. Sometimes, I feel like I've had enough, but I go on because we have to.

[Guest guest]

Thanks, , I appreciate your good wishes!

From:

Hepatitis_C_Central

[mailto:Hepatitis_C_Central ] On

Behalf Of Ruggio

Sent: Monday, February 04, 2008

5:15 PM

To:

Hepatitis_C_Central

Subject: Re:

I'm a Worrier

Hi Dorothy, How wonderful it is that you are almost done. Even though I

was on TX for only 17 weeks I too felt weird about what my life would be like

afterward.. Since I was so ill during TX my focus was on TX and now that

was over.... I use to ask my friend, What did I used to do? I could not

remember what I did except lie in bed and when able, go to work for a few

hours. I then realized that yes I would have to deal with all the things that I

had left undone and as each thing got done I felt like I was rebuilding my

life one step at a time. You can make your life whatever you want.( a

fresh start)

As other have stated, allow yourself the time to heal. I do

hope that all goes well with your recovery!

I wish you Peace, Health and Happiness...