Guest guest Posted October 3, 2004 Report Share Posted October 3, 2004 The following is from Ann Lawson's book titled " Understanding The Borderline Mother " (published in 2000). " The Borderline Mother " 1. Confuses her child 2. Does not apologize or remember inappropriate behavior 3. Expects to be taken care of 4. Punishes or discourages independence 5. Envies, ignores, or demeans her children's accomplishments 6. Destroys, denigrates, or undermines self-esteem 7. Expects children to respond to her needs 8. Frightens and upsets her children 9. Disciplines inconsistently or punitively 10. Feels left out, jealous or resentful if the child is loved by someone else 11. Uses threats of abandonment (or actual abandonment) to punish the child 12. Does not believe in her children's basic goodness 13. Does not trust her children " The Ideal Mother " 1. Comforts her child 2. Apologizes for inappropriate behavior 3. Takes care of herself 4. Encourages independence in her children 5. Is proud of her children's accomplishments 6. Builds her children's self-esteem 7. Responds to her children's changing needs 8. Calms and comforts her children 9. Disciplines with logical and natural consequences 10. Expects that her children will be loved by others 11. Never threatens abandonment 12. Believes in her children's basic goodness 13. Trusts her children Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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