Guest guest Posted December 6, 2004 Report Share Posted December 6, 2004 This is also so familiar to me. My BPD sister was the same way. She had an affair with my now ex husband when I was pregnant. I forgave him because she was always after my boyfriends. Her, it was so normal, even though it hurt. We moved shortly thereafter so it wasn't really an issue after that. Though ex and I eventually did split up. Within weeks of ex and I splitting up, she moved up to where we lived. It was a good 5 hours from where she had been living. She started going after him and they were seeing each other without my knowledge. She lived in an apartment complex I was managing and the entire time she was pretending she was working on our relationship. (Stab goes the knife in my back.) Soon after, my older sister learned that BPD sister had gone to Nada and told Nada that her and ex were getting together and wanted custody of my kids. Of course Nada was more than willing to help her. My older sister convinced Nada not to do it. To this day, Nada and BPD sister deny any of this ever took place. BPD sister even denies ever having an affair with ex. What is funny, at my youngest sisters wedding, we were having wedding pictures taken. The photograper had my BPD sister stand next to my sister's new husband. After a minute, the photographer said no, we don't want her stealing the husband, and moved her to another spot. BPD sister was like, I would never do that. The rest of us were like, " How did he know? " What good perception... BPD sister then went after my date at the wedding....... There is so much more that she had done. For obvious reasons, I don't have any contact with her either. Jean catfile wrote: > Hello to you guys and welcome! > Les, I can really relate to what you dealt with when it came to being > compared to sister and being found wanting!! My nada did that to me my > whole life as well. As a matter of fact, she encouraged sister to feel > that anything I had could be hers without struggle, and that I should > not begrudge her! Sick, I know! > One of the biggest things those two pulled on me was when I was 7 months > pregnant for my second. My friend took me to my doctors > appointment,(because they refused to) and so they knew I wasn't home and > hubby would be. > Now, sis had tried a couple times before to get hubby interested, and > he'd tell her to go to hell, but on this occasion, she told him that > she'd tell me he was having an affair unless he did what she wanted, > when he called her a rotten name, (can you believe this?) but nada got > on the phone and told him off for calling her this rotten name and he > was so disgusted by both of them, he called nada worse!! lol > What they didn't know was, he had pressed the record button on our > answering machine and taped the whole thing.... > I wasn't really shocked by this....it was yet another thing they had > pulled on me my whole life... > Here's what I've come to realize....We were raised with no understanding > of what was right or wrong when it came to that creepy behavior. For me, > this was normal stuff!! Had no reason to think anything was odd... I was > so used to my boyfriends going with my sister because I wouldn't " put > out " that, I am ashamed to admit, I found that that was one way to weed > out the undesirables. Not that I " used " her in that way, but felt an > " oh well...that's all he wanted, he can go! " > Nada told me I was jealous of her.....I replied that, " She hasn't done > anything I can envy! " > Al, please don't beat yourself up! Hey, being angry about the injustice > of it all is fine and healthy, but we were kids with no clues. We didn't > understand! > I'm so glad that you two have been able to have this relationship with > each other, to support each other and validate each other.... > Because in the end, you two are the winners/survivors. > Warm thoughts to you both! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 6, 2004 Report Share Posted December 6, 2004 What I forgot to write, is that ex claims that he never had any knowledge of her going to Nada to get the kids from me. When I told him what was going on, he said he didn't want the kids living with him when we got divorced and he certainly did not want them now. Hen then dupmed her. She wasnt' too happy about that and moved back to where she came from. What I also couldn't figure out, is why she thought my life was so great that she wanted it??? Especially when Nada was making her snide comments about what was wrong in my life. Then BPD sister wanted it? I don't get it. Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 6, 2004 Report Share Posted December 6, 2004 What I forgot to write, is that ex claims that he never had any knowledge of her going to Nada to get the kids from me. When I told him what was going on, he said he didn't want the kids living with him when we got divorced and he certainly did not want them now. Hen then dupmed her. She wasnt' too happy about that and moved back to where she came from. What I also couldn't figure out, is why she thought my life was so great that she wanted it??? Especially when Nada was making her snide comments about what was wrong in my life. Then BPD sister wanted it? I don't get it. Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 7, 2004 Report Share Posted December 7, 2004 , I can't believe your mother and sister did that. That's horrible! I can't believe all that everyone here has been through. It's just beyond belief. Your husband is a smart one! But a nada can even say a tape is a lie and some ko's (me among them!) would believe her! > Here's what I've come to realize....We were raised with no understanding of what was right or wrong when it came to that creepy behavior. You are so right! Al and I were just talking about this a month or so ago. We were talking about and making excuses for someone in the family who has done something just heinous to Al, when we realized that our rationale for letting this ko off the hook was so tweaked it wasn't even funny. It was so skewed, so wrong that when we finally figured it out, we had one of those lightbulb moments too. What this ko did was unforgiveable. Period. And another ko doesn't say that lightly. We've often remarked that we have no internal compass. We were never allowed to " grow " one. We did what we were told and sometimes to this day, if I don't have someone's voice in my head giving me advice, I literally don't know what to do. I sometimes feel like I have no real value system, and it's alarming. It makes me want to retire from the world completely so I won't do something which will jeapordize the good things in my life--home and hearth. > Nada told me I was jealous of her.....I replied that, " She hasn't done anything I can envy! " Our nada's answer to everything...you/they are just jealous! I never could understand that. Someone at school is being mean to me because they're jealous? Of what?! Thanks for the post, . You're a doll for sharing. Seeing it in black and white makes it easier to 'dispose' of! Les Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 7, 2004 Report Share Posted December 7, 2004 > >......................> > Our nada's answer to everything...you/they are just jealous! I never > could understand that. Someone at school is being mean to me because > they're jealous? Of what?! *****My nada used jealousy as an excuse for everything too. When I was a little girl, I believed her, although even then, I couldn't understand why the person in question was jealous. Later, I started to wonder if it was nada who was jealous (didn't know about projection at the time). A few years ago, I challenged her on that statement, expecially because it had to do with a work situation. It was interesting how she would so quickly state that the reason someone was being rude to me was because of jealousy. By this time, I am a big girl, and I know this person isn't jealous, this person is just rude - to everyone! So I told nada I didn't agree, and asked Dad to cooroborate (sp?) based on his work experiences. He did agree with me, and nada wasn't happy! Oh well, nada, even you can't win 'em all! Sylvia > > Thanks for the post, . You're a doll for sharing. Seeing it in > black and white makes it easier to 'dispose' of! > Les Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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