Re: my progress w/ nada??

June 3, 2004

I am the same one whose nada busted out my windows this past February. This week

my nada wanted my daughter (just turned 14 this past Sun) to spend the night at

nada's house before my daughter went to camp this weekend. I said " no " . She

already knows I do not like my daughter to spend the night over there. My nada

actually brought one of her old lady friends over to visit - my daughter and I

were in nada's back yard taking care of the miniature horses that my daughter

loves so much. Things were normal and then nada asks in front of her granny

friend if I am going to let my daughter spend the night this week. I said " no "

She asked why. I said she knew. She said she didn't. I asked her to change the

subject (with company being there) and so she told the granny " ohhh, she is

threatening me again - if I don't change the subject she is going to leave "

Yep, that is what I do. So I had my daughter give food to the horses so we could

leave. Then nada boohoos in front of her granny friend that I even had called

the police on her. blah blah This poor old lady. I am sure that when the went

out to eat with each other beforehand that my nada smeared me and the old lady

agreed wi her (that's what people do b/c they don't know how to object to nada

or don't know what to say) but now the old lady was in the middle of it all and

said nothing. I did not expect her to, of course. I just think she was getting

depressed and probably wanted to leave herself.

So nada called me later about my daughter spending the night and I told her my

reason is " no " b/c every time daughter goes over there there is some type of

problem - nada is fighting wi dad or nada gets mad at daughter b/c she spilled

drink on the floor, etc etc. It is not a pleasant thing to stay over there.

Then nada told me if I wanted to be that way, my daughter would not be able to

go to any more horse shows this year. I said ok but I also told nada that if

she wanted to hold those horses hostage against my daughter like that then I

think we do not need to be in contact with each other any more. No calls, no

visiting. Fortunately I had prepared my daughter for something like this for

about a year. She finally accepted it could happen although she hoped not. She

loves those horses and now she doesn't get to see them. I told daughter it

would have to be this way until things could change somehow if they did change.

Daughter also knows it is possible my nada could sell the horses but I todl her

that is last thing nada would do b/c then it would mean my daughter would never

want to see nada again b/c she sold her little horses. That is the only link,

really, between daughter and nada. Nada refuses to sell one of them to me for

my daughter b/c they are HER (nada's) horses. Ok so I cut off the contact.

Next morning my daughter was going with some friends to a nursing home to do a

skit. I took my daughter figuring nada might show up just to be in my face. I

found out at the nursing home the head lady thought the miniature horse was

coming - she got mad when she found out it wasn't as all those old people had

really looked forward to it and no one called herh to tell her the horse was

not coming. Well, nada did show up after 15 minutes of us being there. She came

and stood by me and daughter and asked daughter " do you want me to leave or

stay " Daughter did not say anything. I told nada I would go home wi her to get

the horse since the old people really were expecting it. She said " are you

going to change your mind about your daughter spending the night " I said " no "

so she refused to go get the horse for the old people to see. Then she later

started talking bad to my daughter around a couple of the old people while we

were visiting with them. My daughter later told me what my nada was talking

about and that she started crying and one of the old people got up and left. My

nada was still trying to convince me while we were there that I have too much

pride, etc etc, using my daughter against her and that her therapist says that I

am using my daughter against her. I said " well that therapist doesn't know " so

nada wants me to go with her to see the therapist next week. I don't know if I

should or not but I guess I should hoping it might show my side of the story.

First thing I will tell the therapist is that nada said that this therapist was

saying I am using my daughter against nada (I did that to another therapist by

phone before and the therapist dropped my nada - did not want anything to do

with her)

In the nursing home still, nada said Jesus would not treat people like we do

her. I said " yes, Jesus would ask a person to discontinue bad behavior " Nada

said " well, He would not leave them, though " She always has a comeback - she

ALWAYS wins a conversation (according to her) My daughter told my nada that

since she does not stop talking in front of my daughter about her problems even

whenn my daughter asks her to, that is why we are in this situation. My nada

asks her " what am I supposed to do about it? " Daughter said " Stop talking! "

My nada said she did not think she could change. So my daughter said " then that

is why we are in this situation! " Nada said " what if I promise not to talk

about that stuff any more? " I said she already did promise that before and it

did not work, so we are not to be in contact wi her and I may consider in a

nother couple of months. I did not tell her, but if I do consider and it goes

back to the way it was, then I will extend the couple of months to several more

months.

Nada got my daughter to give her a kiss as we were leaving and then said " I am a

sinner and you must forgive me " In other words,

she is a sinner just like everyone else but WE are not forgiving her. I just

said " We have already done that before " and left. She is there crying and

trying to hide from all the people we know. I hope some of them can now see how

ridiculous she is. One of them had previously offered my nada to call her any

time she needed to about her problems wi nada's husband. Boy, that lady did not

know what she was getting herself into! I bet she wants out by now!

My poor daughter - even though she knew it was coming, she is missing her little

horses, but she cannot stand to be around my nada, either.

Theresa

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June 3, 2004

you have a very mature daughter, you should be very proud of her :-) An

excellent parenting job you've done !

Jackie

>

> I am the same one whose nada busted out my windows this past February.

This week my nada wanted my daughter (just turned 14 this past Sun) to spend

the night at nada's house before my daughter went to camp this weekend. I

said " no " . She already knows I do not like my daughter to spend the night

over there. My nada actually brought one of her old lady friends over to

visit - my daughter and I were in nada's back yard taking care of the

miniature horses that my daughter loves so much. Things were normal and then

nada asks in front of her granny friend if I am going to let my daughter

spend the night this week. I said " no " She asked why. I said she knew. She

said she didn't. I asked her to change the subject (with company being

there) and so she told the granny " ohhh, she is threatening me again - if I

don't change the subject she is going to leave " Yep, that is what I do. So

I had my daughter give food to the horses so we could leave. Then nada

boohoos in front of her granny friend that I even had called the police on

her. blah blah This poor old lady. I am sure that when the went out to eat

with each other beforehand that my nada smeared me and the old lady agreed

wi her (that's what people do b/c they don't know how to object to nada or

don't know what to say) but now the old lady was in the middle of it all and

said nothing.

June 3, 2004