Re: any thoughts

[Guest guest]

Hi KO's

Just wanted you all to know I really enjoyed reading Re:is lying part

of BPD? I related to everything everyone posted on that subject.

I was just wondering if anyone had any thoughts on the following:

I've written about some of it in my old posts. I'm trying to decide

my next move with Nada. She's been ill and slandering me to

relatives that she doesn't hear from me. Every week for the past

month I've called her once or twice a week to see how she is and

update her on my kids. She won't pick up the phone so I leave a

message, " How are you, give me a call when you get a chance. " No

return call. (No call on my birthday.) So I drop her a note to let

her know how her grandchildren are and find out how her leg is, does

she need surgery? (She lives around the block from me. I won't go

there because of BPD brother.) She writes back, " It was nice to hear

about the kids. Hope you enjoyed your Birthday. I'm wearing a cast

on my leg to try to avoid surgery. Don't worry about me. " I

actually think this is some form of manipulation to get me to go

there to see how she is because of the complaining to relatives that

she never sees/hears from me.

A friend of mine thinks I should just send her back another light

little note unless I'm ready to break ties with her altogether. She

thinks I'm not ready to break away completely and that I shouldn't

let on that I'm irritated that she won't communicate by phone. I

really am so confused because I actually feel better not having to

deal with her but part of me thinks there should be some contact for

my children. Also prior to her not returning my phone calls we had a

nice conversation (my point of view). I think that's partly why she

stopped picking up the phone because she wants me to be upset. If I

called and left a message with a lot of emotion she would pick up the

phone. She doesn't want to have a nice normal light conversation.

Thanksgiving is coming... Do I try to call her again, do I write

another silly little note? This whole thing is so ridiculous!!!

Thank-you for reading... any thoughts?

cntbreathe

[Guest guest]

Hi Ivy,

Thanks but I know she's spoken with my uncle by phone (He lives in

another state and she tells him she never hears from/sees me) Also,

my brother lives with her and actually since he lost his job and

moved into the house she started avoiding me whenever I invited her

for lunch or holidays.

I appreciate the suggestion. Why do they make life harder than it has

to be???

cntbreathe

> >

> Every week for the past month I've called her once or twice a week

> to see how she is and update her on my kids. She won't pick up the

> phone so I leave a message, " How are you, give me a call when you

get

> a chance. " No return call.

>

> Is it possible that she's losing her hearing & doesn't want to tell

> you? This is an issue I had for a while with my father -- nothing

to

> do with BPD, but it does interfere with the phone.

>

> Ivy

[Guest guest]

Hi Ivy,

Thanks but I know she's spoken with my uncle by phone (He lives in

another state and she tells him she never hears from/sees me) Also,

my brother lives with her and actually since he lost his job and

moved into the house she started avoiding me whenever I invited her

for lunch or holidays.

I appreciate the suggestion. Why do they make life harder than it has

to be???

cntbreathe

> >

> Every week for the past month I've called her once or twice a week

> to see how she is and update her on my kids. She won't pick up the

> phone so I leave a message, " How are you, give me a call when you

get

> a chance. " No return call.

>

> Is it possible that she's losing her hearing & doesn't want to tell

> you? This is an issue I had for a while with my father -- nothing

to

> do with BPD, but it does interfere with the phone.

>

> Ivy

[Guest guest]

Hi Ivy,

Thanks but I know she's spoken with my uncle by phone (He lives in

another state and she tells him she never hears from/sees me) Also,

my brother lives with her and actually since he lost his job and

moved into the house she started avoiding me whenever I invited her

for lunch or holidays.

I appreciate the suggestion. Why do they make life harder than it has

to be???

cntbreathe

> >

> Every week for the past month I've called her once or twice a week

> to see how she is and update her on my kids. She won't pick up the

> phone so I leave a message, " How are you, give me a call when you

get

> a chance. " No return call.

>

> Is it possible that she's losing her hearing & doesn't want to tell

> you? This is an issue I had for a while with my father -- nothing

to

> do with BPD, but it does interfere with the phone.

>

> Ivy