Re: Triggered.....damn I hate that

[Guest guest]

,

I know what you mean about the narsasstic a((hole

boss. I have one, I really ssmell that awful

stench of BPD/NPD on him. Are you comfortable

with the person you would need to talk to the

office? Do they depend on you for advisement?

I'm asking because I was put in a similar boat a

week ago, only insted of myself having the

problem a coworker did and the NPD Ahole had

tried to come to me and I said go to the

coworker, well she played chicken so he went to

his partner who went to me and I spilled the

beans letting my coworker know spill it the good

boss knows. THe moral here is that I would

attempt to talk to the higher ups espeically if

they respect you before walking out or doing

anythign drastic that way they can address it. I

know part of my problem is I had gotten crappy

messages from nada about standing up for myself

(don't do it you'll get fired) so I blcoked it

and since then things have been great there since

I've gotten over that. Dont' know if that would

help in your case, but that's what I would do.

Hope this helps

Marie

=====

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

,

I know what you mean about the narsasstic a((hole

boss. I have one, I really ssmell that awful

stench of BPD/NPD on him. Are you comfortable

with the person you would need to talk to the

office? Do they depend on you for advisement?

I'm asking because I was put in a similar boat a

week ago, only insted of myself having the

problem a coworker did and the NPD Ahole had

tried to come to me and I said go to the

coworker, well she played chicken so he went to

his partner who went to me and I spilled the

beans letting my coworker know spill it the good

boss knows. THe moral here is that I would

attempt to talk to the higher ups espeically if

they respect you before walking out or doing

anythign drastic that way they can address it. I

know part of my problem is I had gotten crappy

messages from nada about standing up for myself

(don't do it you'll get fired) so I blcoked it

and since then things have been great there since

I've gotten over that. Dont' know if that would

help in your case, but that's what I would do.

Hope this helps

Marie

=====

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

,

I know what you mean about the narsasstic a((hole

boss. I have one, I really ssmell that awful

stench of BPD/NPD on him. Are you comfortable

with the person you would need to talk to the

office? Do they depend on you for advisement?

I'm asking because I was put in a similar boat a

week ago, only insted of myself having the

problem a coworker did and the NPD Ahole had

tried to come to me and I said go to the

coworker, well she played chicken so he went to

his partner who went to me and I spilled the

beans letting my coworker know spill it the good

boss knows. THe moral here is that I would

attempt to talk to the higher ups espeically if

they respect you before walking out or doing

anythign drastic that way they can address it. I

know part of my problem is I had gotten crappy

messages from nada about standing up for myself

(don't do it you'll get fired) so I blcoked it

and since then things have been great there since

I've gotten over that. Dont' know if that would

help in your case, but that's what I would do.

Hope this helps

Marie

=====

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I'll interject here, as I have been in the business world for quite a

long time. First, do you need/want the job? Do you need to keep a

good relationship here for future references? If you don't need/want

the job, and don't need it for a reference, then you could certainly

either just leave, or tell the owner. (Usually when the owner gets

involved, you end up leaving, for any number of reasons.)

It is VERY GOOD that you recognize the triggers, because then you can

manage them instead of reacting to them. When something at work

triggers me, I try to work on the 'old issue' that the work situation

triggered. For the work situation, I try to handle it as

professionally as I can, even if everyone else is not being

professional.

If I were in your shoes, and I wanted to keep the job at full time, I

would try to find a way to present this to the boss to show the

benefit to her of keeping it a full time job. Can you focus on the

fact that you have uncovered all the mistakes, and how long it will

take to fix everything part time as opposed to full time? Are there

any cost savings involved if the mistakes are corrected sooner than

later. I know the boss is a jerk, but it seems that keeping this job

as full time is tied to her need to look good to the owner.

You may only want to keep this as a full time job until you find

another job, but the above situation will work in that case as well.

My experience has been with jerks at work to focus on business, and

not react to the personal crap they may be dishing out. I would also

keep some kind of work diary of these conversations with your boss.

(Sending a confirming email on a verbal agreement about anything is

great, but just your own notes in a daily notebook or on your

computer will work. All of that is considered company

documentation.)

I think it is important to separate the old issue that is being

triggered with the new issue. They are both problems we have to deal

with, but I think they are better dealt with differently.

Hope this gives you some ideas.

Sylvia

>

>

> Hi KO's,

> I posted earlier about being called back to work to clean up a big

> mess someone else created. I had issues with my boss (narcissistic

> for sure)for the six years I worked for her in the past and have

had

> to deal with resentment since returning. I am only working for a

few

> months to clean things up.

>

> Well, I am knee deep in tons of clean up work and now they tell me

> that I need to work part time. I told them I cannot see how I can

do

> this because I am barely finishing the work in 40 hrs. The person

> managing me at the moment has not told the owner of all the

> incomplete work that I have discovered because it reflects badly on

> her and so the owner thinks I can fix this working part time. I

told

> this lady that I am barely getting the work done and need more

time.

>

> Then I piece it all together and there is more to the story: It

> turns out that this lady convinced the owner that this job could be

> done on a part time basis in order to terminate my predecessor (she

> knew she couldn't afford to work part time and did it to get rid of

> her) SO, now she has to stick with the story that this job is a

part

> time position when in reality it is not and especially not now with

> two years worth of neglect and uncovering lots of mistakes.

>

> She started trying to convince me that black was white and I felt

> that old anger and defiance and I felt very unappreciated.

>

> Anyway, I don't know if I should tell the owner what is really

going

> on or just walk out or what....I hate office politics and working

> for incompetent people, they use you to cover their own

> deficiencies. This triggers me because this lady is lying and

> misrepresenting my situation in order to support her own deceitful

> agenda and trying to bully me into compliance and of course that is

> when I start feeling really angry and defiant. I had to take that

> shit from nada and I get really angry when someone tries to

> manipulate and lie about me for their own purposes. Sorry for the

> long post, this got me worked up and I wish I knew how to let these

> things roll off me, but I think these people trigger me like nada.

> Any thoughts, maybe I am over reacting, dunno sometimes, when I

feel

> like this....