Guest guest Posted November 23, 2004 Report Share Posted November 23, 2004 Hi KO It's funny you should say that... I was kind of thinking with all of my Nada's wacky perceptions of events, I feel like I'm living in some kind of altered reality. I have to think about things for a minute and reassure myself that's not what really happened!!! Also, about hemorrhaging. I was thinking I don't like to share any heavy news with her because it becomes all about her and she goes into this emotional hemorrhage that makes me feel even worse than I already felt about some difficult situation. Sound famailiar to anyone? cntbreathe > > In a message dated 11/23/04 2:53:43 AM Alaskan Standard Time, > ModOasis writes: > Here is my experience with my nada. Many times, she perceives > situations differently than they really are, and that misperception > is her reality. > That's the experience I've had with my mother as well. Mine doesn't out and > out lie, but " spins " situations to the point that the story has almost no > relation to the original event. It's all abt gaining sympathy for her. A scraped > knee becomes a hemorrhage. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2004 Report Share Posted November 23, 2004 Hi KO It's funny you should say that... I was kind of thinking with all of my Nada's wacky perceptions of events, I feel like I'm living in some kind of altered reality. I have to think about things for a minute and reassure myself that's not what really happened!!! Also, about hemorrhaging. I was thinking I don't like to share any heavy news with her because it becomes all about her and she goes into this emotional hemorrhage that makes me feel even worse than I already felt about some difficult situation. Sound famailiar to anyone? cntbreathe > > In a message dated 11/23/04 2:53:43 AM Alaskan Standard Time, > ModOasis writes: > Here is my experience with my nada. Many times, she perceives > situations differently than they really are, and that misperception > is her reality. > That's the experience I've had with my mother as well. Mine doesn't out and > out lie, but " spins " situations to the point that the story has almost no > relation to the original event. It's all abt gaining sympathy for her. A scraped > knee becomes a hemorrhage. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2004 Report Share Posted November 23, 2004 > > Hi KO > It's funny you should say that... > I was kind of thinking with all of my Nada's wacky perceptions of > events, I feel like I'm living in some kind of altered reality. I > have to think about things for a minute and reassure myself that's > not what really happened!!! > Also, about hemorrhaging. I was thinking I don't like to share any > heavy news with her because it becomes all about her and she goes > into this emotional hemorrhage that makes me feel even worse than I > already felt about some difficult situation. Sound famailiar to > anyone? > cntbreathe > Oh YES, both of those! The first thing you mentioned - having to do a double-take and reassure yourself that your memories and perceptions are correct - I am still doing that, even though I haven't spoken to my nada in over 4 1/2 years. And the latter... well, all I can say is that I stopped sharing important or emotionally sensitive things with her in my teenage years. I only told her about one of my bfs because I was moving in with him... she thought he was my first, but in reality probably about 4th, I just didn't tell her about it. ) It's just that everything got turned around, and became 'about her'. I'd tell her about some of the friends I was making at university, and in a couple of weeks she would twist that information and say 'look how you treating your mother, I bet those friends you have wouldn't like you if you are treating them that way! " . Or, if I told her that I liked to have coffee with the above friends, she would end up criticising me for the way I was " squandering the money, no wonder you are broke all the time " . ( Never mind that I was a student, and living on a small government allowance. Those coffees were my luxury, and it was my own money, anyway). This sort of stuff went on *all the time* and I stopped telling her anything about myself... which was easy because all she wanted to do was talk about herself. D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2004 Report Share Posted November 23, 2004 > > Hi KO > It's funny you should say that... > I was kind of thinking with all of my Nada's wacky perceptions of > events, I feel like I'm living in some kind of altered reality. I > have to think about things for a minute and reassure myself that's > not what really happened!!! > Also, about hemorrhaging. I was thinking I don't like to share any > heavy news with her because it becomes all about her and she goes > into this emotional hemorrhage that makes me feel even worse than I > already felt about some difficult situation. Sound famailiar to > anyone? > cntbreathe > Oh YES, both of those! The first thing you mentioned - having to do a double-take and reassure yourself that your memories and perceptions are correct - I am still doing that, even though I haven't spoken to my nada in over 4 1/2 years. And the latter... well, all I can say is that I stopped sharing important or emotionally sensitive things with her in my teenage years. I only told her about one of my bfs because I was moving in with him... she thought he was my first, but in reality probably about 4th, I just didn't tell her about it. ) It's just that everything got turned around, and became 'about her'. I'd tell her about some of the friends I was making at university, and in a couple of weeks she would twist that information and say 'look how you treating your mother, I bet those friends you have wouldn't like you if you are treating them that way! " . Or, if I told her that I liked to have coffee with the above friends, she would end up criticising me for the way I was " squandering the money, no wonder you are broke all the time " . ( Never mind that I was a student, and living on a small government allowance. Those coffees were my luxury, and it was my own money, anyway). This sort of stuff went on *all the time* and I stopped telling her anything about myself... which was easy because all she wanted to do was talk about herself. D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 24, 2004 Report Share Posted November 24, 2004 This is so like nada. Everything is about her - it's like she believes I am living my life and my main concern should always be how it affects her. IShe once complained to me that everyone tells news to dad first and then he has to tell her - she said she wasn't a child and could handle it. So I call home - dad's not home - so I decide to share the news that I got a promotion and raise - this meant I would be staying overseas for one more year--- Nada's response - " You selfish bitch - how could you do this to me " . And she wonders why we don't tell her anything. And nada's reality - it's hard to believe that she isn't lying on purpose - it's so out there - but I have come to believe that she isn't lying on purpose (at least most of the time) - I wonder if she knows it's a lie when it first enters her head or the first time she says it - and then she thinks about it so much/talk about it - that she actually believes it after a while. Kath ModOasis , " cntbreathe " <cntbreathe@y...> wrote: > > Hi KO > It's funny you should say that... > I was kind of thinking with all of my Nada's wacky perceptions of > events, I feel like I'm living in some kind of altered reality. I > have to think about things for a minute and reassure myself that's > not what really happened!!! > Also, about hemorrhaging. I was thinking I don't like to share any > heavy news with her because it becomes all about her and she goes > into this emotional hemorrhage that makes me feel even worse than I > already felt about some difficult situation. Sound famailiar to > anyone? > cntbreathe > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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