Re: I can relate to what you wrote

[Guest guest]

This is my exact story as well! An obscenely spotless house, but no

skills passed on to me (save me having to make my bed or dust as an

occasional punishment, which is why I now view housework as a

punishment)...also a constantly complaining, oh-i'm-a-martyr nada,

which I think made me come to associate nada doing housework as

another mysterious example of why I was a 'bad girl'. (Nada's exact

words were usually mean, selfish and hateful).

Does anyone feel better telling themselves that the only way nada

was able to keep the house so spotless 100% of the time bks she was

unhealthily obsessed with it due to a DSM level IV pesonality

disorder?

> Wow!!, this sounds like me. My nada cleans her clean house every

> day. I grew up in a spotless, and I do mean spotless home. This

> skill was not passed on the me LOL. I remember at one time when

we

> moved into a new home with black and white tile floors, that nada

> cleaned the floors with a single edge razor blade, tile by tile.

it

> was a three bedroom home, maybe 1200 square feet. She was down on

> her hands and knees scapping a section at a time and waxing them.

> The floors looked like glass. The floor in that house was her

pride

> and joy. Once when nada complained that the floors were always

> dusty, I said maybe you could vacuum them. She became LIVID, I

> vacuum EVERY day. And then we had the Great Silent Treatment for

> several days.

>

> One of the things I have noticed is that when I clean, I have

looked

> at it in the past as a marytr and was angry to " have to do this " .

I

> now know my role model was angry ALL the time. Especially to

clean

> the spotless house and do it again every day. Time for anger,

never

> time for hugs and love.

>

> I have also joined flylady and try to pass this on to others

around

> me. It is a blessing and I do not feel so much pressure to be

> perfect. Take care, mg

[Guest guest]

Oh yes Charlotte! It makes me feel better, I've been so lost with the

fact that I've been unable to be the perfect tidy person.

This reminds me of one summer, when we had visitors from an other

country and my ceramic stove was not shining clean. Nada was with us

and started to brag about how tidy she is to an older lady and told

her how messy I always am. What I had understood about this lady was

that she was not at all so tidy herself and she looked at me with

compassion expessed all over her face! That time it was easy for me

to just let her words slide of my back!

and an other thing that comes to mind now about the time when I was

still a child, was the disbelief that I had when ever I met an adult

outside my FOO (besides dad) who expressed that they liked me. There

where 2 ladies who where acquaintances of my dad's from work ( I used

to follow dad sometimes to work), who really liked me. I can still

not believe that there could be women in my life that would like me,

men have always been more supportive in my life.

BM

[Guest guest]

Oh yes Charlotte! It makes me feel better, I've been so lost with the

fact that I've been unable to be the perfect tidy person.

This reminds me of one summer, when we had visitors from an other

country and my ceramic stove was not shining clean. Nada was with us

and started to brag about how tidy she is to an older lady and told

her how messy I always am. What I had understood about this lady was

that she was not at all so tidy herself and she looked at me with

compassion expessed all over her face! That time it was easy for me

to just let her words slide of my back!

and an other thing that comes to mind now about the time when I was

still a child, was the disbelief that I had when ever I met an adult

outside my FOO (besides dad) who expressed that they liked me. There

where 2 ladies who where acquaintances of my dad's from work ( I used

to follow dad sometimes to work), who really liked me. I can still

not believe that there could be women in my life that would like me,

men have always been more supportive in my life.

BM

[Guest guest]

Oh yes Charlotte! It makes me feel better, I've been so lost with the

fact that I've been unable to be the perfect tidy person.

This reminds me of one summer, when we had visitors from an other

country and my ceramic stove was not shining clean. Nada was with us

and started to brag about how tidy she is to an older lady and told

her how messy I always am. What I had understood about this lady was

that she was not at all so tidy herself and she looked at me with

compassion expessed all over her face! That time it was easy for me

to just let her words slide of my back!

and an other thing that comes to mind now about the time when I was

still a child, was the disbelief that I had when ever I met an adult

outside my FOO (besides dad) who expressed that they liked me. There

where 2 ladies who where acquaintances of my dad's from work ( I used

to follow dad sometimes to work), who really liked me. I can still

not believe that there could be women in my life that would like me,

men have always been more supportive in my life.

BM