Donna and checkup follow up

[Guest guest]

WOW, yours does this also? IN a RAGE while ill nada screamed at me to shut

up, and that I was nothing but a " DRAMA QUEEN! "

This was just a few months ago-

Interesting, do these nada's take a class together or what lol? -Kim

In a message dated 10/20/2004 3:55:19 PM Eastern Standard Time,

eclecticandobscure@... writes:

she will call you a drama queen. (at least that's what mine would do.)

[Guest guest]

Donna,

This is an interesting twist that I hadn't considered until you

stated such. I LEARNED to freak out about everything from nada.

She accuses me of overreacting like a " drama queen, " but I learned

it somewhere... I always interpreted her freaking out about my

problems or her difficulty with my problems as my own defect or some

new heartache I had created for her. And what just happened even in

the preceeding sentence? The focus of the problem became her at the

expense of how I view myself and my role in her life rather than the

responsibility of her supportive role in mine.

My, how profoundly deep these tentacles run down into my thinking!

I think I'm having an epiphany. She was the drama queen, and my

problems threatened to take center stage. She projected.

Wow.

Thanks for this feedback. I'm awe-struck as a result.

I'm glad you're strong enough to walk through this without your

mother's old pattern of doing things. I have no doubts that you're

strong enough for the challenge and will benefit from this

experience, no matter what the outcome. Be good to yourself and

honor your strength.

K

> .....Growing up, EVERYTHING, was a 5

alarm fire. I was taught, by example, that the " normal " reaction to

almost everything is screaming. I now realize, that my mom uses the

smallest little problem to freak-out, almost just for the sake of

just freaking out..... almost like the latest problem is just an

excuse for her to lose it. She always made everything about her. I'm

finding that its much easier for me to keep MY composure (and

therefore, I'm much happier), by NOT having her involved in my

life.....

>

[Guest guest]

Maybe this is the " freak out " flea?

>

***********But what I think is dawning on me, for the first time, is

that my

> > " normal " reaction, which is to kinda freak-out in my mind and

lose it,

> > is due to my childhood with my mom. Growing up, EVERYTHING,

was a 5

> > alarm fire. > >

*********Donna, I can

really relate to your situation. At least the part about nada making

EVERY little thing a crisis.

.............Most of my life I spent with a " deeply hurt " mother.

And I was usually the cause. I about gag anymore to hear another

time how I have deeply hurt her.

[Guest guest]

Maybe this is the " freak out " flea?

>

***********But what I think is dawning on me, for the first time, is

that my

> > " normal " reaction, which is to kinda freak-out in my mind and

lose it,

> > is due to my childhood with my mom. Growing up, EVERYTHING,

was a 5

> > alarm fire. > >

*********Donna, I can

really relate to your situation. At least the part about nada making

EVERY little thing a crisis.

.............Most of my life I spent with a " deeply hurt " mother.

And I was usually the cause. I about gag anymore to hear another

time how I have deeply hurt her.

[Guest guest]

Yup, in my case, its a flea.......

I feel better, cause I'm beginning to recognized the " freaking out "

trait of mine, as something that is really an inheritance from my

mom..... I try to convince myself, that its HERS and I should give

it back to HER...... and that *I* get to decide how Donna reacts to

things, I don't need to follow HER script.

This only works, when she is not in my presence.

And, honestly, its a work in progress even when she is not here....

it, like all other things, will take time to sink in :-)

> >

> ***********But what I think is dawning on me, for the first time, is

> that my

> > > " normal " reaction, which is to kinda freak-out in my mind and

> lose it,

> > > is due to my childhood with my mom. Growing up, EVERYTHING,

> was a 5

> > > alarm fire. > >

>

> *********Donna, I can

> really relate to your situation. At least the part about nada making

> EVERY little thing a crisis.

> ............Most of my life I spent with a " deeply hurt " mother.

> And I was usually the cause. I about gag anymore to hear another

> time how I have deeply hurt her.