Guest guest Posted March 21, 2005 Report Share Posted March 21, 2005 I am the oldest of three kids, all of us in our 20's now, and I think my mom is BPD. I have read one book, " Understanding the Borderline Mother " , and she is that book cover to cover. I have not approached my mom about the disorder because who knows what type of reaction I would get. But, something needs to be done. My dad, sister, and me all suffer because of it. Any ideas on how to bring this to the next level would be great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 21, 2005 Report Share Posted March 21, 2005 Hi Roper, It is refreshing to hear of a family that is in agreement that the BPD behavior is intolerable. My siblings and I are 'poster children' for enmeshed BPD dynamics; a fixer, a waif, an enabler and the one who's a BPD in training; I'm the one that has tried on all the masks ... and haven't found one that fits yet. (can see the light from Edith's lamppost in the distance) The only advise that I can offer is get as much information, education, about personality disorders that you can find. Carol In a message dated 3/21/2005 12:15:29 PM Pacific Standard Time, ropershaw@... writes: I am the oldest of three kids, all of us in our 20's now, and I think my mom is BPD. I have read one book, " Understanding the Borderline Mother " , and she is that book cover to cover. I have not approached my mom about the disorder because who knows what type of reaction I would get. But, something needs to be done. My dad, sister, and me all suffer because of it. Any ideas on how to bring this to the next level would be great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 21, 2005 Report Share Posted March 21, 2005 Hi Roper, It is refreshing to hear of a family that is in agreement that the BPD behavior is intolerable. My siblings and I are 'poster children' for enmeshed BPD dynamics; a fixer, a waif, an enabler and the one who's a BPD in training; I'm the one that has tried on all the masks ... and haven't found one that fits yet. (can see the light from Edith's lamppost in the distance) The only advise that I can offer is get as much information, education, about personality disorders that you can find. Carol In a message dated 3/21/2005 12:15:29 PM Pacific Standard Time, ropershaw@... writes: I am the oldest of three kids, all of us in our 20's now, and I think my mom is BPD. I have read one book, " Understanding the Borderline Mother " , and she is that book cover to cover. I have not approached my mom about the disorder because who knows what type of reaction I would get. But, something needs to be done. My dad, sister, and me all suffer because of it. Any ideas on how to bring this to the next level would be great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 21, 2005 Report Share Posted March 21, 2005 Hi Roper, It is refreshing to hear of a family that is in agreement that the BPD behavior is intolerable. My siblings and I are 'poster children' for enmeshed BPD dynamics; a fixer, a waif, an enabler and the one who's a BPD in training; I'm the one that has tried on all the masks ... and haven't found one that fits yet. (can see the light from Edith's lamppost in the distance) The only advise that I can offer is get as much information, education, about personality disorders that you can find. Carol In a message dated 3/21/2005 12:15:29 PM Pacific Standard Time, ropershaw@... writes: I am the oldest of three kids, all of us in our 20's now, and I think my mom is BPD. I have read one book, " Understanding the Borderline Mother " , and she is that book cover to cover. I have not approached my mom about the disorder because who knows what type of reaction I would get. But, something needs to be done. My dad, sister, and me all suffer because of it. Any ideas on how to bring this to the next level would be great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 21, 2005 Report Share Posted March 21, 2005 Hello, and welcome to ModOasis, It is usually recommended to NOT give your parent the diagnosis of BPD. This is something that should come from a physician or therapist. BUT....for yourself, start by learning all you can about the disorder. Take your time to process all the information. Most of us have some sort of overload breakdown some weeks after first learning that one of our parents has BPD. The next thing is to find out how did this affect you. Most of us KOs (Kids of BPD parent), have what is known as fleas. These are behaviors that are similar to BPD, and we have them because that is all we were taught as children. You might want to work on eliminating your fleas, and getting a therapist who understands about BPD is very helpful to do this. The most important thing you can do is to love and take care of yourself. This is something that we were not taught how to do, and it takes us awhile to get the hang of it. Read the posts, and post yourself. We are a very supportive group of people. Take care, Sylvia > > > I am the oldest of three kids, all of us in our 20's now, and I think > my mom is BPD. I have read one book, " Understanding the Borderline > Mother " , and she is that book cover to cover. I have not approached > my mom about the disorder because who knows what type of reaction I > would get. But, something needs to be done. My dad, sister, and me > all suffer because of it. Any ideas on how to bring this to the next > level would be great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 21, 2005 Report Share Posted March 21, 2005 Hello, and welcome to ModOasis, It is usually recommended to NOT give your parent the diagnosis of BPD. This is something that should come from a physician or therapist. BUT....for yourself, start by learning all you can about the disorder. Take your time to process all the information. Most of us have some sort of overload breakdown some weeks after first learning that one of our parents has BPD. The next thing is to find out how did this affect you. Most of us KOs (Kids of BPD parent), have what is known as fleas. These are behaviors that are similar to BPD, and we have them because that is all we were taught as children. You might want to work on eliminating your fleas, and getting a therapist who understands about BPD is very helpful to do this. The most important thing you can do is to love and take care of yourself. This is something that we were not taught how to do, and it takes us awhile to get the hang of it. Read the posts, and post yourself. We are a very supportive group of people. Take care, Sylvia > > > I am the oldest of three kids, all of us in our 20's now, and I think > my mom is BPD. I have read one book, " Understanding the Borderline > Mother " , and she is that book cover to cover. I have not approached > my mom about the disorder because who knows what type of reaction I > would get. But, something needs to be done. My dad, sister, and me > all suffer because of it. Any ideas on how to bring this to the next > level would be great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 21, 2005 Report Share Posted March 21, 2005 Hello, and welcome to ModOasis, It is usually recommended to NOT give your parent the diagnosis of BPD. This is something that should come from a physician or therapist. BUT....for yourself, start by learning all you can about the disorder. Take your time to process all the information. Most of us have some sort of overload breakdown some weeks after first learning that one of our parents has BPD. The next thing is to find out how did this affect you. Most of us KOs (Kids of BPD parent), have what is known as fleas. These are behaviors that are similar to BPD, and we have them because that is all we were taught as children. You might want to work on eliminating your fleas, and getting a therapist who understands about BPD is very helpful to do this. The most important thing you can do is to love and take care of yourself. This is something that we were not taught how to do, and it takes us awhile to get the hang of it. Read the posts, and post yourself. We are a very supportive group of people. Take care, Sylvia > > > I am the oldest of three kids, all of us in our 20's now, and I think > my mom is BPD. I have read one book, " Understanding the Borderline > Mother " , and she is that book cover to cover. I have not approached > my mom about the disorder because who knows what type of reaction I > would get. But, something needs to be done. My dad, sister, and me > all suffer because of it. Any ideas on how to bring this to the next > level would be great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 21, 2005 Report Share Posted March 21, 2005 Hi Ropershaw, I don't think you can bring a BPD anywhere they don't want to go. Actually, I can't even have a coherent conversation with my Nada (bpd mother). I think the best thing to do is educate yourself as much as possible and do as much as you can for yourself. Other good reads are Stop Walking on Eggshells and Surviving the Borderline Mother. Welcome, cntbreathe > > > I am the oldest of three kids, all of us in our 20's now, and I think > my mom is BPD. I have read one book, " Understanding the Borderline > Mother " , and she is that book cover to cover. I have not approached > my mom about the disorder because who knows what type of reaction I > would get. But, something needs to be done. My dad, sister, and me > all suffer because of it. Any ideas on how to bring this to the next > level would be great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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