Re: Negative Self-Hypnosis Kerrie and Dan

[Guest guest]

Kerrie,

That is a rough childhood you describe. And sorry about your brother. Are nada's

bling to the destruction they do to innocent children? In my opinion it's just

that they might notice, or have some awareness but it does not matter; simply

doesn't matter. My nada's needs were the only thing that mattered every moment.

My youngest brother is very quiet. I can't figure him out, really. But he came

out with Dad's shotgun when nada and dad were fighting. Dad said to him " you

aren't going to shoot me, are you? " Brothr started crying. I will say, if there

was ever one time that nada " changed " , it was after that. She did cut down on

her physical rages directed towards Dad. For brother's benefit? I always thought

so, until now. She was probably just afraid he'd shoot her in the ass during one

of her fits. And Gawwwwwwwwwwwwd forbid the sound of the shot alerting neighbors

that there might be something wrong in the queen's palace.

Hey Kerrie, no apologies for writing. I am never totally comfortable when I type

these specifics that are in the past, but it's freeing. I had also said when

nada raged at me in august, no more family secrets. Certainly not on this board.

Probably does me more good than paying a psych, with what they cost and act so

trite about it anyway.

LOL, and what Dan said about the projecting/ For years some time ago, I kept

saying I truly believed my nada wished me dead<oooops>

Hugs, Trompalina

> > << To me, its little wonder so many serial killers have nadas as I

> > use to fantasize about that a lot when I was a teenager and I even

> > thought of it a couple of times ... >>

> >

> > Kerrie, this reminds me of something that happened when I was

> about

> > 14 years old. Fada had a .22 rifle that he kept hidden, I didn't

> > know here. One day I asked him if he would teach me to shoot

> > targets. He said that he would not, and he keeps it hidden

> because

> > sometimes teenagers shoot their parents. I had really never

> > fantasized that. I was shocked that he could suspect me of such a

> > thing, and to this day I don't have faith that I am not a monster

> > deep down.

> >

> > My interpretation of the incident now is that he was projecting

> his

> > wish to kill me.

> >

> > - Dan

[Guest guest]

yeah, I know what you mean w/your brother and the shotgun. Our

suicide attempts worked in a similar fashion in that queen/witch

backed off after that.

> > > << To me, its little wonder so many serial killers have nadas

as I

> > > use to fantasize about that a lot when I was a teenager and I

even

> > > thought of it a couple of times ... >>

> > >

> > > Kerrie, this reminds me of something that happened when I was

> > about

> > > 14 years old. Fada had a .22 rifle that he kept hidden, I

didn't

> > > know here. One day I asked him if he would teach me to shoot

> > > targets. He said that he would not, and he keeps it hidden

> > because

> > > sometimes teenagers shoot their parents. I had really never

> > > fantasized that. I was shocked that he could suspect me of

such a

> > > thing, and to this day I don't have faith that I am not a

monster

> > > deep down.

> > >

> > > My interpretation of the incident now is that he was

projecting

> > his

> > > wish to kill me.

> > >

> > > - Dan

[Guest guest]

<< For years some time ago, I kept saying I truly believed my nada

wished me dead<oooops> >>

Trompalina, do you mean that you don't believe that any more? At

this point I truly believe that Fada wanted me dead since the day I

was born. Nada, on the other hand, wants me alive but completely

owned by her. Maybe my wish to be one-legged represents a desire to

piss them both off equally (more importantly, to piss off the demons

they forced on me).

- Dan

[Guest guest]

<< For years some time ago, I kept saying I truly believed my nada

wished me dead<oooops> >>

Trompalina, do you mean that you don't believe that any more? At

this point I truly believe that Fada wanted me dead since the day I

was born. Nada, on the other hand, wants me alive but completely

owned by her. Maybe my wish to be one-legged represents a desire to

piss them both off equally (more importantly, to piss off the demons

they forced on me).

- Dan