Guest guest Posted August 29, 2004 Report Share Posted August 29, 2004 Dear April, Congratulations on your new baby, and for setting boundaries with your nada!! I know how hard it must be to remain strong when your family's reaction is so negative:-( Being cut off from family simply for standing up for yourself would be tremendously difficult for anyone to handle....I hope that you have friends and other family members who love and support you. I can totally identify with the anger and frustration, and the longing to be 'normal'. Thinking about the 'damage' caused by my BP makes me sad, as it has affected so many aspects of my life. I will keep you in my thoughts prayers, Love, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 1, 2004 Report Share Posted September 1, 2004 Congratulations on your baby boy! I think we never completely get over the anger, sadness and hurt of the effects of being raised by a BPD parent. And it is at these special times when our joy is mixed with our losses. I 'separated' from nada just a little less than a year ago. I try to remember that I had to make a choice, and as you did, the choice was what was best and necessary for me. And I allow myself the right to be sad, angry, frustrated, etc. Having a nada was/is a terrible thing. Be kind and gentle to yourself, Sylvia > In the few weeks that I have joined this group, I have found comfort > in knowing I am not alone. At the same time, it saddens me to know > there are many nada's out there and that all of you have endured the > same abuse, anger, rage, etc that nada's are capable of. Although I > have set firm boundaries (which she randomly ignores and challenges > me to respond), I find I am still very angry and frustrated at > times. Deep down, I still wish she were " normal " . My father and > sister (who is 37 and recently moved back in with nada and fada) > ignore me unless nada is in one of her stages of trying to " suck me > back in " . Then they jump on the nada bandwagon. If her tactic is to > be nice, they are nice. If nada's tactic is to be abusive, they try > to guilt me into calling her. My second son was born 14 days ago and > I did call to make them aware that he was born. I have not heard > from them, nor do I believe I will. I know setting firm boundaries > and having basically little to no contact with them was my doing (and > what is best for me) but thier behavior still hurts. Having a > borderline mother (possibly father and sister as well) is so > difficult to cope with at times. > > April Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 2, 2004 Report Share Posted September 2, 2004 Thank you Sylvia. Some days are a lot easier than others. Your words are very comforting. April > > In the few weeks that I have joined this group, I have found > comfort > > in knowing I am not alone. At the same time, it saddens me to know > > there are many nada's out there and that all of you have endured > the > > same abuse, anger, rage, etc that nada's are capable of. Although > I > > have set firm boundaries (which she randomly ignores and challenges > > me to respond), I find I am still very angry and frustrated at > > times. Deep down, I still wish she were " normal " . My father and > > sister (who is 37 and recently moved back in with nada and fada) > > ignore me unless nada is in one of her stages of trying to " suck me > > back in " . Then they jump on the nada bandwagon. If her tactic is > to > > be nice, they are nice. If nada's tactic is to be abusive, they > try > > to guilt me into calling her. My second son was born 14 days ago > and > > I did call to make them aware that he was born. I have not heard > > from them, nor do I believe I will. I know setting firm boundaries > > and having basically little to no contact with them was my doing > (and > > what is best for me) but thier behavior still hurts. Having a > > borderline mother (possibly father and sister as well) is so > > difficult to cope with at times. > > > > April Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 2, 2004 Report Share Posted September 2, 2004 Thank you Sylvia. Some days are a lot easier than others. Your words are very comforting. April > > In the few weeks that I have joined this group, I have found > comfort > > in knowing I am not alone. At the same time, it saddens me to know > > there are many nada's out there and that all of you have endured > the > > same abuse, anger, rage, etc that nada's are capable of. Although > I > > have set firm boundaries (which she randomly ignores and challenges > > me to respond), I find I am still very angry and frustrated at > > times. Deep down, I still wish she were " normal " . My father and > > sister (who is 37 and recently moved back in with nada and fada) > > ignore me unless nada is in one of her stages of trying to " suck me > > back in " . Then they jump on the nada bandwagon. If her tactic is > to > > be nice, they are nice. If nada's tactic is to be abusive, they > try > > to guilt me into calling her. My second son was born 14 days ago > and > > I did call to make them aware that he was born. I have not heard > > from them, nor do I believe I will. I know setting firm boundaries > > and having basically little to no contact with them was my doing > (and > > what is best for me) but thier behavior still hurts. Having a > > borderline mother (possibly father and sister as well) is so > > difficult to cope with at times. > > > > April Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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