Doing stuff over...and little brothers

[Guest guest]

LOL...You know, from the time my kids were little, I was determined

not to redo stuff they'd done. We'd eat with oddly set tables,

they'd have wrinkled beds after they'd made them, and I'd take them

out in clothing that was too big, too small, not matching or dressed

in different shades of red from head to toe...all because they

knew " they did it themselves, " and I wasn't about to redo it,

because I thought it was a message that " you didn't do it right. " I

have amazing kids...self sufficient for the most part, and an

incredible sense of self.

Yeah, those " all goods. " That was my brother...8 years younger. I

always heard, " you need to give him a break...he's your little

brother! " The last time she said that, I looked at her and

said, " Mom, he's THIRTY. You don't get to play the little brother

card when you pass 21. " ::grin:: I could tell by the look on her

face that even SHE could hear how ridiculous she sounded.

> > >

> > > Sorry about the double post just now--my laptop buttons are

> getting

> > > fiesty in their old age.

> > >

> > > Someone recently posted about their nada asking " who opened

the

> > > mayonnaise " , as if only the absolute demon's spawn of all time

> could

> > > have committed such a heinous act. Thanks for this. I'm

trying

> to

> > > recall how nada treated me, to purge the trauma and re-

> integrate, as

> > > they say. I had forgotten all about the catastrophic

questions

> of

> > > this sort. These were actually quite constant. And of

course,

> I

> > > was always the culprit--my split good sibling could do no

> wrong. If

> > > she left anything out, it was silently put away. But if I

> happened

> > > to leave ANY evidence of my existence in the household, it

> was " who

> > > opened these potato chips? " " who ate that (xyz)? " " who

turned

> on

> > > the washing machine? " I really can't remember them all--I just

> > > remember they were constant, very accusatory, as if I should

be

> > > punished as if a murderer for any of each above act. The

effect

> and

> > > intent was to make me feel unwelcome in " her " house, and not

> > > entitled to exist at all, in general. Yes I do believe there

is

> a

> > > nada school, to teach them how to ask these questions, usually

> with

> > > sucked breath, and as if the whole world is on fire. After

all,

> > > they are only three, and it is THEIR house--if you touch any

of

> > > THEIR things, you will have to pay!! Each time I come home

(as

> > > little as possible), there are still 5,000 implied actions to

> show

> > > I'm not welcome there. Of course, they cannot be directly

> stated,

> > > because then they wouldn't be a matter of interpretation that

> could

> > > be denied to outside parties.

> > >

> > > Who left the computer on? Who's Charlotte Honeychurch? Who's

> been

> > > posting at " Mod " ... " Mod...Oasis? "