Re: Borderline Mother issues!

[Guest guest]

> Although her behaviour was odd when i was younger it seems that

the

> longer she has lived with it the deeper it has manifested itself

in

> her, to the point that now she is simply unbearable to be around.

> She is violent, aggressive, spiteful, malicious, vindictive and

> totally illogical, having read various articles and books

outlining

> the characteristics of BPD i am beginning to realise that her

> behaviour seems so childlike and books have suggested a link to

some

> kind of mental arrested development which makes her reactions and

> emotions to normal every day problems identical to that of a

child,

> and this is apparently a common trait among BPD's? How on earth

does

> anyone else live with this kind of behaviour, when your mother is

> acting like a 5 year old in the playground!?

Hi. It sounds as though you have a pretty good grasp of what bpd is.

Of course that doesn't help us much in tolerating their abusive and

unpredictable behaviors, but it helps us to begin to put the pieces

together and how that affects US. You asked how anyone lives with

them and the answer, as you know, is: NOT EASILY! They take so much

from the people around them. Looking back at this recovery process,

I see that in the beginning I was just absorbing the validating and

yet overwhelming facts about bpd. It validated my childhood and what

I knew was true. Then, over time I began to see the effects it had

on me and began to get in touch with that anger and pain. Then, I

began considering what to do about it, ie, end contact, spend less

time with nada, etc. So, it is a process and it begins right where

you are, seeing the truth, reaching out, and beginning to find your

voice.

> Just recently her behaviour has on a couple of occasions been

totally

> unacceptable, and by that i mean she has hurt other people

emotionally

> (who are unaware of her problems) and my father physically, i am

at

> the end of my tether, what will it take before somebody in the

> medical profession actually pays attention to what is happening!?

I

> don't want to have to wait for something else of a serious enough

> nature to happen, only to find myself saying again 'why won't

anyone

> help?'.

>

Unfortunately, emotional abuse is not a crime or reason for

intervention in the eyes of the law (that I am aware), but the scars

are just as real as physical scars. You could call the authorities

if she threatens physical abuse or committs it, but short of that, I

don't know, other than doing all you can to make sure you are safe

from her wrath. Hold on to the truth that peace is possible in your

life even though it may not seem that way now..keep posting,

[Guest guest]

vixgaston wrote:

> ... thanks Edith for finding me and pointing

> me in the right direction!

Hi Vix,

You're welcome. That's part of my job - rounding up stray KOs.

> It seems that BPD is so much more widely recognised in America but i

> cannot believe that here in the UK there is nobody out there that can

> help a family in our situation, does anyone have any suggestions?

Yes. There was a UK list called BPDcarers started by , one of our

KO graduates, in the year 2000. I just checked at the listserv and see

that the BPDcarers list is still there but it hasn't been active this

past month or so.

You can join that list or send a message to the list-owner and ask

questions about what help is available for those in the UK.

The URL of the BPDcarers list is at:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/BPDcarers/

And, tell them that Edith says " Hi " to .

- Edith

List Manager / WelcomeToOz Family of NonBP Email Support Groups

[Guest guest]

Half of my family is in the UK, I was born in Hong Kong (father is from UK)

as father was working for Jardines at the time....I have spent much time in

England and understand the culture since I was raised there and here in US.

If I can be of any help please do let me know.

Yours,

Kim

In a message dated 10/8/2004 3:27:32 AM Eastern Standard Time,

psyprof@... writes:

vixgaston wrote:

> ... thanks Edith for finding me and pointing

> me in the right direction!

Hi Vix,

You're welcome. That's part of my job - rounding up stray KOs.

> It seems that BPD is so much more widely recognised in America but i

> cannot believe that here in the UK there is nobody out there that can

> help a family in our situation, does anyone have any suggestions?

Yes. There was a UK list called BPDcarers started by , one of our

KO graduates, in the year 2000. I just checked at the listserv and see

that the BPDcarers list is still there but it hasn't been active this

past month or so.

You can join that list or send a message to the list-owner and ask

questions about what help is available for those in the UK.