Guest guest Posted February 22, 2004 Report Share Posted February 22, 2004 Dear Diane, >I wish I was tougher. I started crying 2 days ago when my uncle-in- >law said that it was terrible that the epidural hadn't worked and >that my life was such a tragedy. I'm so sorry that these things have happened to you. Many of us here do understand what you're going through. My grandmother has some dementia and one of her symptoms is that she pretty much says whatever she wants without " editing " herself ... ya know? She loves to go on about all the things I could have done if only I hadn't gotten rheumatoid arthritis. " Just think where you could be right now if you hadn't gotten sick ... it's so sad ... " etc. Sometimes I take it with a grain of salt and just smile, but other times it makes me feel HORRIBLE. You don't have to beat yourself up for not " being tougher. " You are as you are. You do your best every day, I'm sure, to handle a terrible situation that is not of your making. Just think of all the situations you've gotten through without crying! You may be stronger than you think. I just wanted to say that people on this list do understand! Hang in there... Robin -- ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* robin@... Three things in human life are important: The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind. --Henry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 23, 2004 Report Share Posted February 23, 2004 HRayN wrote: > Public weeping is quite frustrating. It even happens to men. Usually it is related to severe depression. For me, when my pain levels skyrocket I cannot control my emotions, especially with anyone that I'm close to, i.e., family mostly, and will weep with very little reason. Very embarassing, especially if I'm preaching a sermon or speaking publicly otherwise. Instead of pushing myself, I now will cancel my speaking engagement until I know it will not be a problem. > I'm in a 'remission-like' period of time with extremely low levels of pain, almost non-existence unless I overdo physical activity. Surprise! My depression and public weeping are also gone! I found that my depression and suicidalness and the crying all the time also eased up a great deal when they increased my pain meds so the pain dulled down a bit. Says quite a lot for the profound effects pain has, really! Anyway, the problem that *I* have with this dissolving into tears all the time is that I cry when I feel wanted or safe, at all, because it's so goddam RARE. So when a friend visits and they actually seem to care about me, or something, it makes me burst into tears. But that's just as likely to make the poor person feel over-obligated and make them, in the long run, just want to run away and get as far as possible from me so they don't have to put up with this soggy mess in a hospital bed Anybody got any ideas? Soggy Ricky -- : Usual state: (e) None of the above. : rb@... http://tertius.net.au/~rb/ : Nothing is done without difficulty. Face difficulties : courageously and with humour. Every life has its hardships and : frustrations, courage is not only necessery for saints, it is : necessery for any well lived life. -- Paraphrase of Saint Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 23, 2004 Report Share Posted February 23, 2004 Hey, I know just what you mean. Chronic pain from my observations tends to wear down your willpower and your stamina not to mention your energy levels. When all of these are occuring and your pain levels are really severe it is very easy to provoke emotional responses such as crying. I know I have and I don't cry very easily. My doctor now is helping me out with prozac to help combat some of my mental issues. It doesn't take care of my mental state completely as anger and sometimes rage is part of the chronic pain profile but it helps. Pain killers especially narcotic pain killers help. The big problem with narcotic pain killers is that you must administer them while your in some kind of rehab program to help you either stengthen your body parts that the pain is affecting or to give you more flexability. Excersize always helps you to keep your will strong as well. Physical therapy is a help as well. Most of the time it's our mental state of being that can keep the pain subdued if your total regemine of physical activity, pain killers, prozac if needed are all done in a doctors care. He needs to continue to monitor you. Hope this helps. Mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 23, 2004 Report Share Posted February 23, 2004 Oh Diane... My heart goes out to you. I admire you for even attempting to go out and try to be " normal " . I'm at the point, and have been for a while now, that I just say " no " or give any other reason for not being able to attend anything social where there will be lots of " okay, not in pain " people. I cry a lot too Diane. I think that's a normal part of the greiving process, and we are greiving our old selves, the painfree self. Today alone, I started crying at 630am when I woke up with severe pain, and am still having crying/sobbing episodes that won't stop. I should have stock in the " Visine " company! I'm having A LOT of difficulty accepting the " new " me. I've tried to keep up with everyone else for years, and little by little, I just couldn't do it anymore. Our lives are different now b/c of the pain we must suffer, but that doesn't make us any less of a person. You're still " Diane " inside and I'm still " Kathy " . That hasn't changed. We all have the same hopes and dreams that will forever be alive. We haven't changed. Our bodies did. Being a nurse, I see it all of the time how people treat people with chronic pain differently. Some are empathetic. Some pretend they don't know you're having pain. Some act like you'd be better if you'd just get up and go for a jog... (The ladder applies to many doctors). I do know what you mean about the crying epsiodes though. In the last month or so, I've become severely depressed. After seeing the Ortho doctor who treated me so abusively, I just gave up. Now I try to think of something, anything that there is to look foreward to, and I can't see anything. Don't give up Diane! Honestly, I haven't totally given up, and it's mostly all b/c of this forum and the people here who have so many words of encouragement, and really can and do understand. If you need to cry, then cry. Screw the rest. They have no idea what you have to deal with every minute of your life! You're the strong one Diane. The " others " couldn't tolerate a day in your shoes. I'll be thinking about you and will be praying for you. We need to keep believing in ourselves... and our Higher Power. Miracles do happen every day! I've seen it! I'm going to pray for one for you! Always: Kathy K. (kkellen@...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 23, 2004 Report Share Posted February 23, 2004 Oh Diane... My heart goes out to you. I admire you for even attempting to go out and try to be " normal " . I'm at the point, and have been for a while now, that I just say " no " or give any other reason for not being able to attend anything social where there will be lots of " okay, not in pain " people. I cry a lot too Diane. I think that's a normal part of the greiving process, and we are greiving our old selves, the painfree self. Today alone, I started crying at 630am when I woke up with severe pain, and am still having crying/sobbing episodes that won't stop. I should have stock in the " Visine " company! I'm having A LOT of difficulty accepting the " new " me. I've tried to keep up with everyone else for years, and little by little, I just couldn't do it anymore. Our lives are different now b/c of the pain we must suffer, but that doesn't make us any less of a person. You're still " Diane " inside and I'm still " Kathy " . That hasn't changed. We all have the same hopes and dreams that will forever be alive. We haven't changed. Our bodies did. Being a nurse, I see it all of the time how people treat people with chronic pain differently. Some are empathetic. Some pretend they don't know you're having pain. Some act like you'd be better if you'd just get up and go for a jog... (The ladder applies to many doctors). I do know what you mean about the crying epsiodes though. In the last month or so, I've become severely depressed. After seeing the Ortho doctor who treated me so abusively, I just gave up. Now I try to think of something, anything that there is to look foreward to, and I can't see anything. Don't give up Diane! Honestly, I haven't totally given up, and it's mostly all b/c of this forum and the people here who have so many words of encouragement, and really can and do understand. If you need to cry, then cry. Screw the rest. They have no idea what you have to deal with every minute of your life! You're the strong one Diane. The " others " couldn't tolerate a day in your shoes. I'll be thinking about you and will be praying for you. We need to keep believing in ourselves... and our Higher Power. Miracles do happen every day! I've seen it! I'm going to pray for one for you! Always: Kathy K. (kkellen@...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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