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Re: Public weeping

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Dear Diane,

>I wish I was tougher. I started crying 2 days ago when my uncle-in-

>law said that it was terrible that the epidural hadn't worked and

>that my life was such a tragedy.

I'm so sorry that these things have happened to you. Many of us here do

understand what you're going through. My grandmother has some dementia and one

of her symptoms is that she pretty much says whatever she wants without

" editing " herself ... ya know? She loves to go on about all the things I could

have done if only I hadn't gotten rheumatoid arthritis. " Just think where you

could be right now if you hadn't gotten sick ... it's so sad ... " etc. Sometimes

I take it with a grain of salt and just smile, but other times it makes me feel

HORRIBLE.

You don't have to beat yourself up for not " being tougher. " You are as you are.

You do your best every day, I'm sure, to handle a terrible situation that is not

of your making. Just think of all the situations you've gotten through without

crying! You may be stronger than you think.

I just wanted to say that people on this list do understand! Hang in there...

Robin

--

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

robin@...

Three things in human life are important: The first is to be kind. The second is

to be kind. And the third is to be kind. --Henry

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HRayN wrote:

> Public weeping is quite frustrating. It even happens to men. Usually it is

related to severe depression. For me, when my pain levels skyrocket I cannot

control my emotions, especially with anyone that I'm close to, i.e., family

mostly, and will weep with very little reason. Very embarassing, especially if

I'm preaching a sermon or speaking publicly otherwise. Instead of pushing

myself, I now will cancel my speaking engagement until I know it will not be a

problem.

> I'm in a 'remission-like' period of time with extremely low levels of pain,

almost non-existence unless I overdo physical activity. Surprise! My

depression and public weeping are also gone!

I found that my depression and suicidalness and the crying all the time

also eased up a great deal when they increased my pain meds so the pain

dulled down a bit.

Says quite a lot for the profound effects pain has, really!

Anyway, the problem that *I* have with this dissolving into tears all

the time is that I cry when I feel wanted or safe, at all, because it's

so goddam RARE. So when a friend visits and they actually seem to care

about me, or something, it makes me burst into tears. But that's just

as likely to make the poor person feel over-obligated and make them, in

the long run, just want to run away and get as far as possible from me

so they don't have to put up with this soggy mess in a hospital bed :(

Anybody got any ideas?

Soggy

Ricky

--

: Usual state: (e) None of the above.

: rb@... http://tertius.net.au/~rb/

: Nothing is done without difficulty. Face difficulties

: courageously and with humour. Every life has its hardships and

: frustrations, courage is not only necessery for saints, it is

: necessery for any well lived life. -- Paraphrase of Saint

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Hey, I know just what you mean. Chronic pain from my observations

tends to wear down your willpower and your stamina not to mention your

energy levels. When all of these are occuring and your pain levels

are really severe it is very easy to provoke emotional responses such

as crying. I know I have and I don't cry very easily. My doctor now

is helping me out with prozac to help combat some of my mental issues.

It doesn't take care of my mental state completely as anger and

sometimes rage is part of the chronic pain profile but it helps. Pain

killers especially narcotic pain killers help. The big problem with

narcotic pain killers is that you must administer them while your in

some kind of rehab program to help you either stengthen your body

parts that the pain is affecting or to give you more flexability.

Excersize always helps you to keep your will strong as well. Physical

therapy is a help as well. Most of the time it's our mental state of

being that can keep the pain subdued if your total regemine of

physical activity, pain killers, prozac if needed are all done in a

doctors care. He needs to continue to monitor you.

Hope this helps.

Mike

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Oh Diane... My heart goes out to you. I admire you for even

attempting to go out and try to be " normal " . I'm at the point, and

have been for a while now, that I just say " no " or give any other

reason for not being able to attend anything social where there will

be lots of " okay, not in pain " people. I cry a lot too Diane. I

think that's a normal part of the greiving process, and we are

greiving our old selves, the painfree self. Today alone, I started

crying at 630am when I woke up with severe pain, and am still having

crying/sobbing episodes that won't stop. I should have stock in

the " Visine " company! I'm having A LOT of difficulty accepting

the " new " me. I've tried to keep up with everyone else for years,

and little by little, I just couldn't do it anymore. Our lives are

different now b/c of the pain we must suffer, but that doesn't make

us any less of a person. You're still " Diane " inside and I'm

still " Kathy " . That hasn't changed. We all have the same hopes and

dreams that will forever be alive. We haven't changed. Our bodies

did. Being a nurse, I see it all of the time how people treat

people with chronic pain differently. Some are empathetic. Some

pretend they don't know you're having pain. Some act like you'd be

better if you'd just get up and go for a jog... (The ladder applies

to many doctors).

I do know what you mean about the crying epsiodes though. In the

last month or so, I've become severely depressed. After seeing the

Ortho doctor who treated me so abusively, I just gave up. Now I try

to think of something, anything that there is to look foreward to,

and I can't see anything. Don't give up Diane! Honestly, I haven't

totally given up, and it's mostly all b/c of this forum and the

people here who have so many words of encouragement, and really can

and do understand. If you need to cry, then cry. Screw the rest.

They have no idea what you have to deal with every minute of your

life! You're the strong one Diane. The " others " couldn't tolerate a

day in your shoes.

I'll be thinking about you and will be praying for you. We need to

keep believing in ourselves... and our Higher Power. Miracles do

happen every day! I've seen it! I'm going to pray for one for you!

Always:

Kathy K.

(kkellen@...)

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Oh Diane... My heart goes out to you. I admire you for even

attempting to go out and try to be " normal " . I'm at the point, and

have been for a while now, that I just say " no " or give any other

reason for not being able to attend anything social where there will

be lots of " okay, not in pain " people. I cry a lot too Diane. I

think that's a normal part of the greiving process, and we are

greiving our old selves, the painfree self. Today alone, I started

crying at 630am when I woke up with severe pain, and am still having

crying/sobbing episodes that won't stop. I should have stock in

the " Visine " company! I'm having A LOT of difficulty accepting

the " new " me. I've tried to keep up with everyone else for years,

and little by little, I just couldn't do it anymore. Our lives are

different now b/c of the pain we must suffer, but that doesn't make

us any less of a person. You're still " Diane " inside and I'm

still " Kathy " . That hasn't changed. We all have the same hopes and

dreams that will forever be alive. We haven't changed. Our bodies

did. Being a nurse, I see it all of the time how people treat

people with chronic pain differently. Some are empathetic. Some

pretend they don't know you're having pain. Some act like you'd be

better if you'd just get up and go for a jog... (The ladder applies

to many doctors).

I do know what you mean about the crying epsiodes though. In the

last month or so, I've become severely depressed. After seeing the

Ortho doctor who treated me so abusively, I just gave up. Now I try

to think of something, anything that there is to look foreward to,

and I can't see anything. Don't give up Diane! Honestly, I haven't

totally given up, and it's mostly all b/c of this forum and the

people here who have so many words of encouragement, and really can

and do understand. If you need to cry, then cry. Screw the rest.

They have no idea what you have to deal with every minute of your

life! You're the strong one Diane. The " others " couldn't tolerate a

day in your shoes.

I'll be thinking about you and will be praying for you. We need to

keep believing in ourselves... and our Higher Power. Miracles do

happen every day! I've seen it! I'm going to pray for one for you!

Always:

Kathy K.

(kkellen@...)

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