Guest guest Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 I recently discovered that my mom is a BP and it's really strange because now I'm able to be more of an objective witness rather than being totally immersed in the borderline reality and oblivious to what's really going on....but this doesn't make it any easier to handle her rages, criticisms, blame, projections, etc. I am only now beginning to realize just how DAMAGING her behavior has been for me on sooo many levels. I am unable to move into my own apartment at this time, which is very frustrating because now that I see how much she abuses me, it's really hard to allow myself to be treated this way. (today was the first time in 35 years that I actually stood up for myself by saying, " Please don't be mean to me! " ) I am only how seeing what I've been subjected to my entire life, and it's quie scary and saddening. Sorry to ramble on like this -I have no where else to turn right now... Love, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 Plenty of us figured out the BPD kind of late - I lived with my BPD mother until my kid was 12 and I was 33; did not know she was BPD until after I moved out. To think I put up with that behavior and let her verbally talk to me and my own child like she did. Can't believe I ever put up with that. Theresa -- " sarahmjs " wrote: I recently discovered that my mom is a BP and it's really strange because now I'm able to be more of an objective witness rather than being totally immersed in the borderline reality and oblivious to what's really going on....but this doesn't make it any easier to handle her rages, criticisms, blame, projections, etc. I am only now beginning to realize just how DAMAGING her behavior has been for me on sooo many levels. I am unable to move into my own apartment at this time, which is very frustrating because now that I see how much she abuses me, it's really hard to allow myself to be treated this way. (today was the first time in 35 years that I actually stood up for myself by saying, " Please don't be mean to me! " ) I am only how seeing what I've been subjected to my entire life, and it's quie scary and saddening. Sorry to ramble on like this -I have no where else to turn right now... Love, Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to: http://www.BPDCentral.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 sarahmjs wrote: > I recently discovered that my mom is a BP and it's really strange > because now I'm able to be more of an objective witness rather than > being totally immersed in the borderline reality and oblivious to > what's really going on....but this doesn't make it any easier to > handle her rages, criticisms, blame, projections, etc. I am only now > beginning to realize just how DAMAGING her behavior has been for me on > sooo many levels. Hi , A-OK, I'm glad to see you're posting over here on ModOasis. And I see that your 'Seeing-Thru-Nada Googles' (patent pending) are starting to bring your nada's BPD stuff into focus. > I am unable to move into my own apartment at this > time, which is very frustrating because now that I see how much she > abuses me, it's really hard to allow myself to be treated this way. Yes. That's totally understandable. > (today was the first time in 35 years that I actually stood up for > myself by saying, " Please don't be mean to me! " ) Excellent! We KOs take one tiny step at a time. > I am only how seeing > what I've been subjected to my entire life, and it's quie scary and > saddening. Yes. Unfortunately, we KOs didn't get a loving mother. > Sorry to ramble on like this -I have no where else to turn right now... You're doing fine and you're in the right place. There are no nadas here. Big Hug, - Edith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 29, 2004 Report Share Posted August 29, 2004 Hi mjs... I just read your post and my heart broke for you... I too just found out my mom was BPD (actually about 3 years ago but I " forgot " until some of her latest antics)... I am a newbie at trying to get help on this, through these boards or otherwise. But maybe we'll learn some things together. It is a relief just to see her symptoms so clearly laid out in a book! (SWOE). THough she has really been damaging me the past few weeks as I am in a health crisis and she is pulling out all her negative stuff, manipulating my siblings, etc. Good luck to you! May we begin to come out of the shadow of this abuse. PS I am just curious... do you have siblings? Does she treat you differently than the siblings so therefore they don't get it? Or is she such a good manipulator they dont see it? -- In ModOasis , " sarahmjs " <sarahmjs@y...> wrote: > I recently discovered that my mom is a BP and it's really strange > because now I'm able to be more of an objective witness rather than > being totally immersed in the borderline reality and oblivious to > what's really going on....but this doesn't make it any easier to > handle her rages, criticisms, blame, projections, etc. I am only now > beginning to realize just how DAMAGING her behavior has been for me on > sooo many levels. I am unable to move into my own apartment at this > time, which is very frustrating because now that I see how much she > abuses me, it's really hard to allow myself to be treated this way. > (today was the first time in 35 years that I actually stood up for > myself by saying, " Please don't be mean to me! " ) I am only how seeing > what I've been subjected to my entire life, and it's quie scary and > saddening. > > Sorry to ramble on like this -I have no where else to turn right now... > > Love, > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 29, 2004 Report Share Posted August 29, 2004 I wrote a response to this post earlier this afternoon, but don't see it posted yet so I'm posting another one:) It feels so good to know that you can relate to my situation, though I'm sorry that you have also had to deal with the stress of growing up with a BP mother:-( I hope that you will be able to find the support and nurturing you need so that you can recover from your health crisis and not have to worry about all the BP drama! You asked me about whether my nada treats my siblings differently...the answer is a resounding YES! I am the oldest and seem to have gotten the brunt of her BP behaviors. She does tend to criticize/blame/get irritated and angry with my younger sister from time to time, but expresses more empathy and caring towards her when she's not 'acting out'. I'm not sure why.....does your nada do the same? I really want to talk to my sister about BP but am worried she'll be offended or hurt - or in denial. I know that it has affected her negatively as it has me, and I think it's something she needs to hear - if not now, then in the future..... I hope your health (and nada!) crisis eases up soon! {{{hugs from someone who can empathize}}} Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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