Re: Re: Hello, a newbie here.

[Guest guest]

Dear Velvet,

This is a long answer, but you asked .I was the " good " kid who got split to bad

when I got a scholarship and left home. I thought the problem was my father's

drinking and ended up in an Adult Child group. I went to group for three years

and got on with my life. My husband and I were teaching in a study abroad

program and a non traditional student signed up for my husband's class. We

became friends. She moved a block away from us and she was in our lives almost

everyday. She became a friend/daughter. She did student teaching in a men's

federal prison and then she graduated. We took her to Thailand on a research

trip and began to notice very strange behaviors. That was two years ago.

Since then, we have had little contact with her. She avoids us. If the behaviors

were not so extreme I would just say we grew apart, but there was major

projecting, raging, etc. and she moved in with her lesbian student teaching

professor. (Previously, she had been in a very strict religion (Brethren) and

actually gave her gay sister a very hard time about living a gay life. I knew

she was BP, but did not know what it meant. I started to read and began to

realize that both of my parents were BP. I realized that she had become the BP

in my life that replaced them as they had recently died.

Now, I try to keep up with this list. I try to recognize fleas in myself. I work

on dealing with my BP at work in the best way I can. I try to get a lot of

excercise and since I am an artist, I try to find time to do my work. Now two

years later, I miss the hole my pseudo friend left, but I have filled it with as

mant positive things as I can. I am better because of the experience, but I went

through many sleepless nights worrying about her. Take care.

Otwoma

velvetgranat@... wrote:

Hello Otwoma,

LOL maybe I should just sign my replies as " velvet " - it's my nick for

the online groups and such, despite a couple of friends insisting that

it makes me sound like a porn star

I don't mind you asking at all - it's a point of reference, after all.

How about yourself? How did you come to that conclusion?

As for the work... I am reading books specific to the disorder, and

have been *so* lucky to find the ones that deal with it's effects on

the children. They are helping to find the words for what I feel, and

make some sense of the can of worms inside. I was really scared to

even start looking at the mess inside in the beginning, it seems so

overwhelming, and nebulous.. but the books are helping. I am also

seeing a genius of a psychologist, who is focussing on me, my

reactions and emotions. From time to time I mention books in the

sessions, but he is primarily concerned with what it is *I* get from

them, and how do I *feel* about it. I've been given a chance of a

lifetime to be able to work through all those old emotions and trauma

in safety of the relationship with him, and my partner (who also comes

to the sessions). Needless to say, many tears get shed, but I already

starting to see the changes in me, my life, and my perceptions of my

future. It's really wonderful!

What about yourself? How did / do you work through it?

take care

D

> Dear Velvet,

> I often ask how people reach the conclusion that they are dealing

with BPD because it helps us see if they are and it also helps the

person introduce themselves a bit. Lastly, it allows a peek into how

they think and problem solve. I think those who do some of their own

reading and learning about the disorder appreciate the info more

because they have worked to gather it. So what are you doing to work

on you? Take care.

> Otwoma

>

Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner

" Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via

1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to:

http://www.BPDCentral.com

[Guest guest]

Otwama, I read what you said about your mother switching to being very

religious to moving in with a lesbian and it made me think of something I have

read about BPD. Something about since they dont know themselves often they can

also have issues about their sexuality and sexual identity.

I sure Edith may have more in depth info on that aspect of BPD .

[Guest guest]

It was my pseudo friend. This site has given me a lot of insight on the behavior

of BPs. A BP is like a three year old child. There is really no sexual

preference. It is whoever is the love object of the moment. You can imagine my

confusion when the friend who wore a prayer cap and took me to her church's

love feast for foot washing is now living as a gay woman. It was not gradual. It

happened in three months. Take care.

Otwoma

sexystarshine79@... wrote:

Otwama, I read what you said about your mother switching to being very

religious to moving in with a lesbian and it made me think of something I have

read about BPD. Something about since they dont know themselves often they can

also have issues about their sexuality and sexual identity.

I sure Edith may have more in depth info on that aspect of BPD .

[Guest guest]

sexystarshine79@... wrote:

> Otwama, I read what you said about your mother switching to being very

> religious to moving in with a lesbian and it made me think of something I

have

> read about BPD. Something about since they dont know themselves often they

can

> also have issues about their sexuality and sexual identity.

>

> I sure Edith may have more in depth info on that aspect of BPD .

Hi ,

There is no " pure " BPD; it coexists with other illnesses, one of which

is gender identity disorder. These are the most common that BPD may

coexist with:

Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

Mood disorders (usually bipolar)

Panic/anxiety disorders

Substance abuse: 54% of BPs also have a problem

with substance abuse

Gender identity disorder

Attention deficit disorder (ADD/ADHD)

Eating disorders

Dissociative disorder (formerly multiple personality

disorder)

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)

BPs have a very tiny and/or fragmented self and one can think of the BP

as a chameleon. Because BPs lack an identity of their own, to some

degree, then they act/behave like whomever they're with. If the BP is

with someone who is gay, then the BP is gay, & etc.

- Edith