Re: This is what a triggered BP looks like (warning)

[Guest guest]

Hiya liquid Sunshine,

Yes, that letter is very much like the ones my BP writes me whenever she

goes off, particularly in the use of capitalization and the 'salutation'

.... " have a nice life " .

I've responded to such dreck many a time, all to no avail. I wouldn't

advise any response.

I'm sorry you got assailed by his bull pucky! yeachhh!

Best wishes,

BabaClay

At 08:39 PM 2/9/2004, you wrote:

>Hello everyone and *thank you* for making this place safe. I hope it's

>ok to share stuff like this, and I hope it isn't triggering for

>anyone. I'm curious to know if anyone else receives letters like this

>from the BP in their life? Do you ever respond to them? Are they

>always this hostile?

>

>My therapist suggested I call my ISP block my brother's addy. What

>prompted the email below was my attempt at sharing what I've learned

>in therapy, UBM, and here. As I've said here b4 it was an attempt at

>reconcilliation. Silly me...

>

> From what I've learned, this type of BP rage really reflects whatever

>the BP is afraid of? In this case, he's threatened by my relationship

>with my nephews and by quotes from UBM? I had to get involved with

>them (in '95) bcs a neighbor called me and said if something weren't

>done they were calling child protective services. When the kids were

>smaller he used to rage at them. Now when he rages there are physical

>fights. My involvement translated to being split all bad. Luckily the

>16 year old is now able to defend himself. He describes his father as

> " controlling " and " emotionally arrested " . Makes me sad a 16 y/o kid

>knows that vocabulary... Yuck.

>

>triggered brother wrote:

>*********************************************************************

>Daphne,

>

>According to your (recently described) theory, if you feel " violated "

>that's YOUR problem NOT mine!

>

>I have finally reached my limit for dealing with all of your bull

>shit. After seven years of writing letters back & forth, we have made

>NO PROGRESS! I've had just about enough of your crap for one lifetime.

>This is not going to work. If this is your idea of " love " then I want

>no part of it. I want to END our relationship. You can remain firmly

>committed to your antisocial beliefs until you end up in a grave. I

>want you and your negative " observations " to STAY AWAY from me and my

>minor children.

>

>Please DISCONTINUE all communication with me and my minor children.

>This includes all letters and phone calls to me and Lee. I think you

>are a bad influence on him and on me. I'm sure you already know, you

>can do whatever you want with since he is no longer my minor child.

>

>You should take all these letters to YOUR therapist and talk about all

>this stuff HONESTLY. You would have to go through dramatic changes

>before I would be willing to have any kind of relationship with you again.

>

>Have-a-nice-life!

>

>Tim

>

1!1 BabaClay

[Guest guest]

We all get those kinds of letters and mostly worse and more vile. Welcome to

the club. I keep them in a file in case I need evidence. I also have

nothing to do with my BP nada. You can only do what you can do, then you have

to

leave it alone.

[Guest guest]

I have sent my share of letters and when I describe the behavior that is

troublesome, the bp's say I am abusive for bringing it up. Talking about it is

an abuse??? I've kept a file too, and then realizing the insanity of it all,

I've thrown it out. I regret throwing things out in case I have the need to

prove a distortion campaign against me or need legal protection. When I had no

idea of BP, these letters really nearly made me crazy, I couldn't understand why

the versions of reality were so completely different. bad flashback.tiki

Re: This is what a triggered BP looks like (warning)

We all get those kinds of letters and mostly worse and more vile. Welcome to

the club. I keep them in a file in case I need evidence. I also have

nothing to do with my BP nada. You can only do what you can do, then you have

to

leave it alone.

[Guest guest]

> I've kept a file too, and then realizing the insanity of it all,

I've thrown it out. I regret throwing things out in case I have the

need to prove a distortion campaign against me or need legal protection.

I'm reading the book about Splitting now. Indeed, it advises keeping

the insane letters. I've thrown most of them out too. But I have some

recent ones that make me feel very fearful and disturbed.

>>When I had no idea of BP, these letters really nearly made me crazy,<<

Uh huh. Funny thing is, the things they write describe them so well,

providing a window into their heads. They also offer a perspective on

what's it's like to be on the receiving end of a distortion campaign.

sunsh