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Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

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That's tough to answer. I guess by now I am in such a habit of preparing things

just so that I don't notice. DS has started to push back a little when I

prepare something in advance and it's not what he was hoping to have. So I guess

I'd say, " Yes, there are always specifics for his food. "

Here's the " funny " thing, this characteristic slipped past my radar because DS

has severe and multiple food allergies. I always assumed his food issues were

due to the allergies. I will have to mention his food rules to the therapist

next time we visit so she can add it to her " list. " We are still trying to

determine if Ds qualifies as being on the spectrum or not. (We are heavily

leaning toward him being so.)

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No qualifications here, my son will either eat something - or he won't!! With the stuff he will eat, he eats lots!

-- Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

I stock chicken noodle soup, grilled cheese makings, and cottage cheese- that's about all my youngest will eat.My older aspie has never had a big issue with food- he stuck to normal kid foods when he was younger, but now at 13, he'll try and eat more foods than I do. > >> > Hey, everyone,> > I've really loved this back and forth discussion regarding how others view us as lazy or as bad parents. Going along with this sort of thinking, have any of you experienced this type of criticism coming from family members or friends?> > I have....many more times than I can write about here. I love all my kin dearly, don't get me wrong, but sometimes they come out with very hurtful things.> > They love to give suggestions on how I could do things differently and better when it comes to feeding my 9 yr grandson (PDD-NOS) who has SED (selective eating disorder which goes beyond just being picky) and deal with brushing teeth, cutting nails, and just about any situations where NT kids have no problem. When I tell them I've tried this or that and it doesn't work or whatever, they make me feel like I'm a failure and I just am not parenting the right way.> > I can't help but feel that secretly they think my bad parenting is actually the cause of my grandson behaving the way he does. This makes me sad.> > > >>

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Oh, one qualification, when we go out to eat he loves to order pasta - but will always tell the waitress - please don't put any grass on it!!! (he means parsley, can't stand the sight of it on his food!!)

-- Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

I stock chicken noodle soup, grilled cheese makings, and cottage cheese- that's about all my youngest will eat.My older aspie has never had a big issue with food- he stuck to normal kid foods when he was younger, but now at 13, he'll try and eat more foods than I do. > >> > Hey, everyone,> > I've really loved this back and forth discussion regarding how others view us as lazy or as bad parents. Going along with this sort of thinking, have any of you experienced this type of criticism coming from family members or friends?> > I have....many more times than I can write about here. I love all my kin dearly, don't get me wrong, but sometimes they come out with very hurtful things.> > They love to give suggestions on how I could do things differently and better when it comes to feeding my 9 yr grandson (PDD-NOS) who has SED (selective eating disorder which goes beyond just being picky) and deal with brushing teeth, cutting nails, and just about any situations where NT kids have no problem. When I tell them I've tried this or that and it doesn't work or whatever, they make me feel like I'm a failure and I just am not parenting the right way.> > I can't help but feel that secretly they think my bad parenting is actually the cause of my grandson behaving the way he does. This makes me sad.> > > >>

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My son is the same way.....he'll eat pasta but no specks of green color in it. Same w/ tuna....no specks of relish. I think he has something against the color green LOL Happy St. Patty's Day!! To: autism-aspergers Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2012 10:10 AM

Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Oh, one qualification, when we go out to eat he loves to order pasta - but will always tell the waitress - please don't put any grass on it!!! (he means parsley, can't stand the sight of it on his food!!)

-- Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

I stock chicken noodle soup, grilled cheese makings, and cottage cheese- that's about all my youngest will eat.My older aspie has never had a big issue with food- he stuck to normal kid foods when he was younger, but now at 13, he'll try and eat more foods than I do. > >> > Hey, everyone,> > I've really loved this back and forth discussion regarding how others view us as lazy or as bad parents. Going along with this sort of thinking, have any of you experienced this type of criticism coming from family members or friends?> > I have....many more times than I can write about here. I love all my kin dearly, don't get me wrong, but sometimes they come out with very hurtful things.> > They love to give suggestions on how I could do things differently and better when

it comes to feeding my 9 yr grandson (PDD-NOS) who has SED (selective eating disorder which goes beyond just being picky) and deal with brushing teeth, cutting nails, and just about any situations where NT kids have no problem. When I tell them I've tried this or that and it doesn't work or whatever, they make me feel like I'm a failure and I just am not parenting the right way.> > I can't help but feel that secretly they think my bad parenting is actually the cause of my grandson behaving the way he does. This makes me sad.> > > >>

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Hi all, I notice you are having a food discussion here and want to add a few comments. My grandson Lucas has food issues also. For a long time now he subsists on his chocolate milk, Nestles Quick, and I hate to even write this down, he still takes it from his baby bottle and he is 7 1/2 years old! Has it every day after school like he’s been waiting for it all day. Then has a vanilla yogurt drink. If they are the small ones he can drink a whole 6 pack after his chocolate milk.

For lunch his mom sends Sunny Delight orange juice, two yogurts, maybe a sandwich on white bread cut in four squares with something in the middle he will sometimes eat, and a couple plain white sugar cookies, the soft ones. Most of the time most of it is left in his lunch box when he comes home.

Can’t send peanut butter to school in case and allergic kid might accidentally get it.

But thank God he will eat pizza, has to be plain cheese, when we eat out say at Mc’s after church he will eat a vanilla milk shake, has to be vanilla, never chocolate, no cherry on top, maybe a bite or two of a plain cheeseburger, a few fries, and once in awhile a whole chicken nugget. If he is hungry. He will eat plain white chicken meat, and fish meat, and certain mashed potatoes but not all, and mac and cheese usually.

He has certainly never been a kid who will go to town and just eat, like his brother or sister! They are eaters, ham sandwiches from Subs with all the trimmings, pizza with meat, etc. hamburgers with everything on them, French fries, all sorts of weird drinks, love smoothies now with berries and fruit. They will eat almost any and all things. Love candy where Lucas has never liked it much, will eat a few plain gummy bears sometimes now though.

And get this, he is big and tall for his age! He is only 7 and wears size 12 jeans only he won’t wear jeans, wears sweat pants, and size 10-12 t-shirts and hoodies, and size 5 shoes. Wonder sometimes how big he’d be if he ATE WELL!

I do think it is the chocolate milk that has been the main stay of his diet that has made him grow well, all that milk and chocolate. Every once in awhile I ask him when he is going to give up his baby bottle and he just laughs. He never drinks it when the cousins come over, he knows they will tease him.

Cute kid huh, and he is really cute, wish I could send a picture. Blond blue eyed with spiky hair and the cutest smile ever, with big teeth like Bugs Bunny!

Carolyn ;o)

From: Van Laan

Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2012 4:49 AM

To: autism-aspergers

Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

It seems that most kids like ours want food served a certain way and appear a certain way and always have the same color or be cut up a certain way and so forth and so on....

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Friday, March 16, 2012 8:33 PMSubject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Does anyone have kids who will eat food without having to add qualifications? Almost everything my son eats has to have some sort of modification.

Mine likes PBJ, tunafish w/ mayo only, american cheese, meatballs, chicken nuggets, applesauce (not chunky), pasta as long as their are no green It. seasonings flakes, plain pizza, hot dogs, but no chicken breast, no pork, no steak, no veg, some fruit (no skin), used to eat bananas but doesn't anymore, won't eat eggs....

From: herberkids3 mailto:herberkids3@...To: autism-aspergers Sent: Friday, March 16, 2012 4:17 PMSubject: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

I stock chicken noodle soup, grilled cheese makings, and cottage cheese- that's about all my youngest will eat.My older aspie has never had a big issue with food- he stuck to normal kid foods when he was younger, but now at 13, he'll try and eat more foods than I do. > >> > Hey, everyone,> > I've really loved this back and forth discussion regarding how others view us as lazy or as bad parents. Going along with this sort of thinking, have any of you experienced this type of criticism coming from family members or friends?> > I have....many more times than I can write about here. I love all my kin dearly, don't get me wrong, but sometimes they come out with very hurtful things.> > They love to give suggestions on how I could do things differently and better when it comes to feeding my 9 yr grandson (PDD-NOS) who has SED (selective eating disorder which goes beyond just being picky) and deal with brushing teeth, cutting nails, and just about any situations where NT kids have no problem. When I tell them I've tried this or that and it doesn't work or whatever, they make me feel like I'm a failure and I just am not parenting the right way.> > I can't help but feel that secretly they think my bad parenting is actually the cause of my grandson behaving the way he does. This makes me sad.> > > >>

No virus found in this message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.comVersion: 2012.0.1913 / Virus Database: 2114/4874 - Release Date: 03/16/12

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Oh yes he will eat cereal also, certain sugary kinds, and his mom says she has seen him eat lettuce but I have never seen it. He tends to smell his hands a lot now. Hmm. Has always smelled food before he will eat it.

Carolyn

From: Carolyn

Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2012 11:56 AM

To: autism-aspergers

Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Hi all, I notice you are having a food discussion here and want to add a few comments. My grandson Lucas has food issues also. For a long time now he subsists on his chocolate milk, Nestles Quick, and I hate to even write this down, he still takes it from his baby bottle and he is 7 1/2 years old! Has it every day after school like he’s been waiting for it all day. Then has a vanilla yogurt drink. If they are the small ones he can drink a whole 6 pack after his chocolate milk.

For lunch his mom sends Sunny Delight orange juice, two yogurts, maybe a sandwich on white bread cut in four squares with something in the middle he will sometimes eat, and a couple plain white sugar cookies, the soft ones. Most of the time most of it is left in his lunch box when he comes home.

Can’t send peanut butter to school in case and allergic kid might accidentally get it.

But thank God he will eat pizza, has to be plain cheese, when we eat out say at Mc’s after church he will eat a vanilla milk shake, has to be vanilla, never chocolate, no cherry on top, maybe a bite or two of a plain cheeseburger, a few fries, and once in awhile a whole chicken nugget. If he is hungry. He will eat plain white chicken meat, and fish meat, and certain mashed potatoes but not all, and mac and cheese usually.

He has certainly never been a kid who will go to town and just eat, like his brother or sister! They are eaters, ham sandwiches from Subs with all the trimmings, pizza with meat, etc. hamburgers with everything on them, French fries, all sorts of weird drinks, love smoothies now with berries and fruit. They will eat almost any and all things. Love candy where Lucas has never liked it much, will eat a few plain gummy bears sometimes now though.

And get this, he is big and tall for his age! He is only 7 and wears size 12 jeans only he won’t wear jeans, wears sweat pants, and size 10-12 t-shirts and hoodies, and size 5 shoes. Wonder sometimes how big he’d be if he ATE WELL!

I do think it is the chocolate milk that has been the main stay of his diet that has made him grow well, all that milk and chocolate. Every once in awhile I ask him when he is going to give up his baby bottle and he just laughs. He never drinks it when the cousins come over, he knows they will tease him.

Cute kid huh, and he is really cute, wish I could send a picture. Blond blue eyed with spiky hair and the cutest smile ever, with big teeth like Bugs Bunny!

Carolyn ;o)

From: Van Laan

Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2012 4:49 AM

To: autism-aspergers

Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

It seems that most kids like ours want food served a certain way and appear a certain way and always have the same color or be cut up a certain way and so forth and so on....

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Friday, March 16, 2012 8:33 PMSubject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Does anyone have kids who will eat food without having to add qualifications? Almost everything my son eats has to have some sort of modification.

Mine likes PBJ, tunafish w/ mayo only, american cheese, meatballs, chicken nuggets, applesauce (not chunky), pasta as long as their are no green It. seasonings flakes, plain pizza, hot dogs, but no chicken breast, no pork, no steak, no veg, some fruit (no skin), used to eat bananas but doesn't anymore, won't eat eggs....

From: herberkids3 mailto:herberkids3@...To: autism-aspergers Sent: Friday, March 16, 2012 4:17 PMSubject: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

I stock chicken noodle soup, grilled cheese makings, and cottage cheese- that's about all my youngest will eat.My older aspie has never had a big issue with food- he stuck to normal kid foods when he was younger, but now at 13, he'll try and eat more foods than I do. > >> > Hey, everyone,> > I've really loved this back and forth discussion regarding how others view us as lazy or as bad parents. Going along with this sort of thinking, have any of you experienced this type of criticism coming from family members or friends?> > I have....many more times than I can write about here. I love all my kin dearly, don't get me wrong, but sometimes they come out with very hurtful things.> > They love to give suggestions on how I could do things differently and better when it comes to feeding my 9 yr grandson (PDD-NOS) who has SED (selective eating disorder which goes beyond just being picky) and deal with brushing teeth, cutting nails, and just about any situations where NT kids have no problem. When I tell them I've tried this or that and it doesn't work or whatever, they make me feel like I'm a failure and I just am not parenting the right way.> > I can't help but feel that secretly they think my bad parenting is actually the cause of my grandson behaving the way he does. This makes me sad.> > > >>

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In the moderate to servere classroom I work in I always feel bad because most of the kids have to eat the cafeteria food and it always looks so disgusting. Most of them won't eat it. To:

autism-aspergers Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2012 12:00 PM Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Oh yes he will eat cereal also, certain sugary kinds, and his mom says she has seen him eat lettuce but I have never seen it. He tends to smell his hands a lot now. Hmm. Has always smelled food before he will eat it.

Carolyn

From: Carolyn

Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2012 11:56 AM

To: autism-aspergers

Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Hi all, I notice you are having a food discussion here and want to add a few comments. My grandson Lucas has food issues also. For a long time now he subsists on his chocolate milk, Nestles Quick, and I hate to even write this down, he still takes it from his baby bottle and he is 7 1/2 years old! Has it every day after school like he’s been waiting for it all day. Then has a vanilla yogurt drink. If they are the small ones he can drink a whole 6 pack after his chocolate milk.

For lunch his mom sends Sunny Delight orange juice, two yogurts, maybe a sandwich on white bread cut in four squares with something in the middle he will sometimes eat, and a couple plain white sugar cookies, the soft ones. Most of the time most of it is left in his lunch box when he comes home.

Can’t send peanut butter to school in case and allergic kid might accidentally get it.

But thank God he will eat pizza, has to be plain cheese, when we eat out say at Mc’s after church he will eat a vanilla milk shake, has to be vanilla, never chocolate, no cherry on top, maybe a bite or two of a plain cheeseburger, a few fries, and once in awhile a whole chicken nugget. If he is hungry. He will eat plain white chicken meat, and fish meat, and certain mashed potatoes but not all, and mac and cheese usually.

He has certainly never been a kid who will go to town and just eat, like his brother or sister! They are eaters, ham sandwiches from Subs with all the trimmings, pizza with meat, etc. hamburgers with everything on them, French fries, all sorts of weird drinks, love smoothies now with berries and fruit. They will eat almost any and all things. Love candy where Lucas has never liked it much, will eat a few plain gummy bears sometimes now though.

And get this, he is big and tall for his age! He is only 7 and wears size 12 jeans only he won’t wear jeans, wears sweat pants, and size 10-12 t-shirts and hoodies, and size 5 shoes. Wonder sometimes how big he’d be if he ATE WELL!

I do think it is the chocolate milk that has been the main stay of his diet that has made him grow well, all that milk and chocolate. Every once in awhile I ask him when he is going to give up his baby bottle and he just laughs. He never drinks it when the cousins come over, he knows they will tease him.

Cute kid huh, and he is really cute, wish I could send a picture. Blond blue eyed with spiky hair and the cutest smile ever, with big teeth like Bugs Bunny!

Carolyn ;o)

From: Van Laan

Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2012 4:49 AM

To: autism-aspergers

Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

It seems that most kids like ours want food served a certain way and appear a certain way and always have the same color or be cut up a certain way and so forth and so on....

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Friday, March 16, 2012 8:33 PMSubject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Does anyone have kids who will eat food without having to add qualifications? Almost everything my son eats has to have some sort of modification.

Mine likes PBJ, tunafish w/ mayo only, american cheese, meatballs, chicken nuggets, applesauce (not chunky), pasta as long as their are no green It. seasonings flakes, plain pizza, hot dogs, but no chicken breast, no pork, no steak, no veg, some fruit (no skin), used to eat bananas but doesn't anymore, won't eat eggs....

From: herberkids3 mailto:herberkids3@...To: autism-aspergers Sent: Friday, March 16, 2012 4:17 PMSubject: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

I stock chicken noodle soup, grilled cheese makings, and cottage cheese- that's about all my youngest will eat.My older aspie has never had a big issue with food- he stuck to normal kid foods when he was younger, but now at 13, he'll try and eat more foods than I do. > >> > Hey, everyone,> > I've really loved this back and forth discussion regarding how others view us as lazy or as bad parents. Going along with this sort of thinking, have any of you experienced this type of criticism coming from family members or friends?> > I have....many more times than I can write about here. I love all my kin dearly, don't get me wrong, but sometimes they come out with very hurtful things.> > They love to give suggestions on how I could do things differently and better when it comes to feeding my 9 yr grandson (PDD-NOS) who has SED (selective eating disorder which goes beyond just being picky) and deal with brushing teeth, cutting nails, and just about any situations where NT kids have no problem. When I tell them I've tried this or that and it doesn't work or whatever, they make me feel like I'm a failure and I just am not parenting the right way.> > I can't help but feel that secretly they think my bad parenting is actually the cause of my grandson behaving the way he does. This makes me sad.> > > >>

No virus found in this message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.comVersion: 2012.0.1913 / Virus Database: 2114/4874 - Release Date: 03/16/12

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Most of the foods my daughter will eat, she doesn't have qualifications. One of

her absolute favorites is Chicken Alfredo, but she won't touch it if it has

mushrooms or broccoli in it. Aside from that, most things she'll eat " as is " .

My nephew has a few quirks. He won't touch french toast or pancakes if someone

else cuts them. He won't eat pop tarts if they break. He won't drink water

unless it's from an unopened bottle. He is pretty good about taking " no thank

you " bites, though- he has to try 3 bites of something before he can say he

doesn't like it. He'll just quickly shovel it in and swallow. If he doesn't like

what's served, he will not eat, even if he's starving.

He LOVES chicken in just about any form- when we were at Disney, he devoured a

half of a rotisserie chicken, and asked for more. He prefers meat for his meals

over just about anything else. Barely touches the sides, but will chow down on

the meat, then ask for more.

> > > >

> > > > Hey, everyone,

> > > > I've really loved this back and forth discussion regarding how

> > others view us as lazy or as bad parents. Going along with this sort

> > of thinking, have any of you experienced this type of criticism coming

> > from family members or friends?

> > > > I have....many more times than I can write about here. I love all

> > my kin dearly, don't get me wrong, but sometimes they come out with

> > very hurtful things.

> > > > They love to give suggestions on how I could do things differently

> > and better when it comes to feeding my 9 yr grandson (PDD-NOS) who has

> > SED (selective eating disorder which goes beyond just being picky) and

> > deal with brushing teeth, cutting nails, and just about any situations

> > where NT kids have no problem. When I tell them I've tried this or

> > that and it doesn't work or whatever, they make me feel like I'm a

> > failure and I just am not parenting the right way.

> > > > I can't help but feel that secretly they think my bad parenting is

> > actually the cause of my grandson behaving the way he does. This makes

> > me sad.

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > No virus found in this message.

> > Checked by AVG - www.avg.com <http://www.avg.com>

> > Version: 2012.0.1913 / Virus Database: 2114/4874 - Release Date: 03/16/12

> >

>

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I've tried the whole "if they are hungry enough, they'll eat"...no they won't. They get so hungry they start vomiting...or they go sneak into the kitchen and get food in the middle of the night. They also become obsessed about food and then the battles become worse.

I require a 'no thank you' bite but it is never a battle of the wills. I'm smart enough to know that I will loose a battle of the wills. I might win a battle but I will totally loose the war. It's just not worth it.

  Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you;

Jesus Christ and the American Soldier.

One died for your soul; the other for your freedom.

-- Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others I've so been there. My sister once asked my mom, to tell me, that I could come over but to leave my daughter at home. Seriously, what Aunt wouldn't want to see her neice and what grandparent wouldn't want to see her grandchild? My daughter was a handful but she wasn't horrible.My mom told me just the other day that she doesn't think my daughter is an Aspie because she doesn't do the same things my Uncle's adopted son does. From the time my daughter was 2 until 12, she saw her grandmother about 1-3 times a year. She hasn't seen her for the past 3 years and yet my mom can correctly diagnose her. Interesting. We took the kids to my dad's house a few years ago. We were going to have a family dinner at my sister's house. They are all avid hunters and I knew we would be eating wild game. I KNEW my two orally defensive children would not tolerate the unique taste and texture of wild game. I fed them before we went to dinner. I still fixed them both a plate and made them take a 'no thank you' bite of everything. They did it without too much fuss but neither of them would eat any more. My whole family was irritated at me. "If they get hungry enough, They'll eat". I told them no they wouldn't. I told them my Aspie daughter would meltdown and my son would vomit. They still gave me the impression that I was a bad mom. At the time my daughter was not diagnosed. Now that she is diagnosed, they are quite a bit more forgiving but still slightly judgmental.As if dealing with our children wasn't hard enough. Now we have to deal with 'our support system' too. Oh what fun time?!>> Hey, everyone,> I've really loved this back and forth discussion regarding how others view us as lazy or as bad parents. Going along with this sort of thinking, have any of you experienced this type of criticism coming from family members or friends?> I have....many more times than I can write about here. I love all my kin dearly, don't get me wrong, but sometimes they come out with very hurtful things.> They love to give suggestions on how I could do things differently and better when it comes to feeding my 9 yr grandson (PDD-NOS) who has SED (selective eating disorder which goes beyond just being picky) and deal with brushing teeth, cutting nails, and just about any situations where NT kids have no problem. When I tell them I've tried this or that and it doesn't work or whatever, they make me feel like I'm a failure and I just am not parenting the right way.> I can't help but feel that secretly they think my bad parenting is actually the cause of my grandson behaving the way he does. This makes me sad.> >

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Mine lives on milk, too. Won't drink anything else. He drinks plain fat free milk, though. Won't go near chocolate milk. Likes cocoa. He's never eaten fish and won't try it. Eats pasta, cheese, pizza and a certain brand of nugget.Pumpkin pie is his veggie! He eats pears and apples. That's it. Period. To: autism-aspergers Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2012 2:56 PM Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Hi all, I notice you are having a food discussion here and want to add a few comments. My grandson Lucas has food issues also. For a long time now he subsists on his chocolate milk, Nestles Quick, and I hate to even write this down, he still takes it from his baby bottle and he is 7 1/2 years old! Has it every day after school like he’s been waiting for it all day. Then has a vanilla yogurt drink. If they are the small ones he can drink a whole 6 pack after his chocolate milk.

For lunch his mom sends Sunny Delight orange juice, two yogurts, maybe a sandwich on white bread cut in four squares with something in the middle he will sometimes eat, and a couple plain white sugar cookies, the soft ones. Most of the time most of it is left in his lunch box when he comes home.

Can’t send peanut butter to school in case and allergic kid might accidentally get it.

But thank God he will eat pizza, has to be plain cheese, when we eat out say at Mc’s after church he will eat a vanilla milk shake, has to be vanilla, never chocolate, no cherry on top, maybe a bite or two of a plain cheeseburger, a few fries, and once in awhile a whole chicken nugget. If he is hungry. He will eat plain white chicken meat, and fish meat, and certain mashed potatoes but not all, and mac and cheese usually.

He has certainly never been a kid who will go to town and just eat, like his brother or sister! They are eaters, ham sandwiches from Subs with all the trimmings, pizza with meat, etc. hamburgers with everything on them, French fries, all sorts of weird drinks, love smoothies now with berries and fruit. They will eat almost any and all things. Love candy where Lucas has never liked it much, will eat a few plain gummy bears sometimes now though.

And get this, he is big and tall for his age! He is only 7 and wears size 12 jeans only he won’t wear jeans, wears sweat pants, and size 10-12 t-shirts and hoodies, and size 5 shoes. Wonder sometimes how big he’d be if he ATE WELL!

I do think it is the chocolate milk that has been the main stay of his diet that has made him grow well, all that milk and chocolate. Every once in awhile I ask him when he is going to give up his baby bottle and he just laughs. He never drinks it when the cousins come over, he knows they will tease him.

Cute kid huh, and he is really cute, wish I could send a picture. Blond blue eyed with spiky hair and the cutest smile ever, with big teeth like Bugs Bunny!

Carolyn ;o)

From: Van Laan

Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2012 4:49 AM

To: autism-aspergers

Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

It seems that most kids like ours want food served a certain way and appear a certain way and always have the same color or be cut up a certain way and so forth and so on....

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Friday, March 16, 2012 8:33 PMSubject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Does anyone have kids who will eat food without having to add qualifications? Almost everything my son eats has to have some sort of modification.

Mine likes PBJ, tunafish w/ mayo only, american cheese, meatballs, chicken nuggets, applesauce (not chunky), pasta as long as their are no green It. seasonings flakes, plain pizza, hot dogs, but no chicken breast, no pork, no steak, no veg, some fruit (no skin), used to eat bananas but doesn't anymore, won't eat eggs....

From: herberkids3 mailto:herberkids3@...To: autism-aspergers Sent: Friday, March 16, 2012 4:17 PMSubject: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

I stock chicken noodle soup, grilled cheese makings, and cottage cheese- that's about all my youngest will eat.My older aspie has never had a big issue with food- he stuck to normal kid foods when he was younger, but now at 13, he'll try and eat more foods than I do. > >> > Hey, everyone,> > I've really loved this back and forth discussion regarding how others view us as lazy or as bad parents. Going along with this sort of thinking, have any of you experienced this type of criticism coming from family members or friends?> > I have....many more times than I can write about here. I love all my kin dearly, don't get me wrong, but sometimes they come out with very hurtful things.> > They love to give suggestions on how I could do things differently and better when it comes to feeding my 9 yr grandson (PDD-NOS) who has SED (selective eating disorder which goes beyond just being picky) and deal with brushing teeth, cutting nails, and just about any situations where NT kids have no problem. When I tell them I've tried this or that and it doesn't work or whatever, they make me feel like I'm a failure and I just am not parenting the right way.> > I can't help but feel that secretly they think my bad parenting is actually the cause of my grandson behaving the way he does. This makes me sad.> > > >>

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Hope he doesn't start biting his nails! :) To: autism-aspergers Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2012 3:00 PM Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Oh yes he will eat cereal also, certain sugary kinds, and his mom says she has seen him eat lettuce but I have never seen it. He tends to smell his hands a lot now. Hmm. Has always smelled food before he will eat it.

Carolyn

From: Carolyn

Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2012 11:56 AM

To: autism-aspergers

Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Hi all, I notice you are having a food discussion here and want to add a few comments. My grandson Lucas has food issues also. For a long time now he subsists on his chocolate milk, Nestles Quick, and I hate to even write this down, he still takes it from his baby bottle and he is 7 1/2 years old! Has it every day after school like he’s been waiting for it all day. Then has a vanilla yogurt drink. If they are the small ones he can drink a whole 6 pack after his chocolate milk.

For lunch his mom sends Sunny Delight orange juice, two yogurts, maybe a sandwich on white bread cut in four squares with something in the middle he will sometimes eat, and a couple plain white sugar cookies, the soft ones. Most of the time most of it is left in his lunch box when he comes home.

Can’t send peanut butter to school in case and allergic kid might accidentally get it.

But thank God he will eat pizza, has to be plain cheese, when we eat out say at Mc’s after church he will eat a vanilla milk shake, has to be vanilla, never chocolate, no cherry on top, maybe a bite or two of a plain cheeseburger, a few fries, and once in awhile a whole chicken nugget. If he is hungry. He will eat plain white chicken meat, and fish meat, and certain mashed potatoes but not all, and mac and cheese usually.

He has certainly never been a kid who will go to town and just eat, like his brother or sister! They are eaters, ham sandwiches from Subs with all the trimmings, pizza with meat, etc. hamburgers with everything on them, French fries, all sorts of weird drinks, love smoothies now with berries and fruit. They will eat almost any and all things. Love candy where Lucas has never liked it much, will eat a few plain gummy bears sometimes now though.

And get this, he is big and tall for his age! He is only 7 and wears size 12 jeans only he won’t wear jeans, wears sweat pants, and size 10-12 t-shirts and hoodies, and size 5 shoes. Wonder sometimes how big he’d be if he ATE WELL!

I do think it is the chocolate milk that has been the main stay of his diet that has made him grow well, all that milk and chocolate. Every once in awhile I ask him when he is going to give up his baby bottle and he just laughs. He never drinks it when the cousins come over, he knows they will tease him.

Cute kid huh, and he is really cute, wish I could send a picture. Blond blue eyed with spiky hair and the cutest smile ever, with big teeth like Bugs Bunny!

Carolyn ;o)

From: Van Laan

Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2012 4:49 AM

To: autism-aspergers

Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

It seems that most kids like ours want food served a certain way and appear a certain way and always have the same color or be cut up a certain way and so forth and so on....

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Friday, March 16, 2012 8:33 PMSubject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Does anyone have kids who will eat food without having to add qualifications? Almost everything my son eats has to have some sort of modification.

Mine likes PBJ, tunafish w/ mayo only, american cheese, meatballs, chicken nuggets, applesauce (not chunky), pasta as long as their are no green It. seasonings flakes, plain pizza, hot dogs, but no chicken breast, no pork, no steak, no veg, some fruit (no skin), used to eat bananas but doesn't anymore, won't eat eggs....

From: herberkids3 mailto:herberkids3@...To: autism-aspergers Sent: Friday, March 16, 2012 4:17 PMSubject: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

I stock chicken noodle soup, grilled cheese makings, and cottage cheese- that's about all my youngest will eat.My older aspie has never had a big issue with food- he stuck to normal kid foods when he was younger, but now at 13, he'll try and eat more foods than I do. > >> > Hey, everyone,> > I've really loved this back and forth discussion regarding how others view us as lazy or as bad parents. Going along with this sort of thinking, have any of you experienced this type of criticism coming from family members or friends?> > I have....many more times than I can write about here. I love all my kin dearly, don't get me wrong, but sometimes they come out with very hurtful things.> > They love to give suggestions on how I could do things differently and better when it comes to feeding my 9 yr grandson (PDD-NOS) who has SED (selective eating disorder which goes beyond just being picky) and deal with brushing teeth, cutting nails, and just about any situations where NT kids have no problem. When I tell them I've tried this or that and it doesn't work or whatever, they make me feel like I'm a failure and I just am not parenting the right way.> > I can't help but feel that secretly they think my bad parenting is actually the cause of my grandson behaving the way he does. This makes me sad.> > > >>

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My son is fifteen. He has a very limited diet. The qualifications have gotten less over the years, but the diet has not gotten more diverse. Pizza, hamburger plain cooked at home, will not touch burger when we eat out. He would starve if chicken were to become extinct! Wish he would eat pasta, but alas he will not. His older brother has better luck at getting him to try new foods, but he will only eat them when he is with his brother. He will eat fresh fruit, but no vegetables and I mean none! When he was younger he was not fond of milk, but now he consumes it regularly. I have enjoyed reading this thread. To: autism-aspergers Sent: Sunday, March 18, 2012 9:22:06 AMSubject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Mine lives on milk, too. Won't drink anything else. He drinks plain fat free milk, though. Won't go near chocolate milk. Likes cocoa. He's never eaten fish and won't try it. Eats pasta, cheese, pizza and a certain brand of nugget.Pumpkin pie is his veggie! He eats pears and apples. That's it. Period. To: autism-aspergers Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2012 2:56 PM Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Hi all, I notice you are having a food discussion here and want to add a few comments. My grandson Lucas has food issues also. For a long time now he subsists on his chocolate milk, Nestles Quick, and I hate to even write this down, he still takes it from his baby bottle and he is 7 1/2 years old! Has it every day after school like he’s been waiting for it all day. Then has a vanilla yogurt drink. If they are the small ones he can drink a whole 6 pack after his chocolate milk.

For lunch his mom sends Sunny Delight orange juice, two yogurts, maybe a sandwich on white bread cut in four squares with something in the middle he will sometimes eat, and a couple plain white sugar cookies, the soft ones. Most of the time most of it is left in his lunch box when he comes home.

Can’t send peanut butter to school in case and allergic kid might accidentally get it.

But thank God he will eat pizza, has to be plain cheese, when we eat out say at Mc’s after church he will eat a vanilla milk shake, has to be vanilla, never chocolate, no cherry on top, maybe a bite or two of a plain cheeseburger, a few fries, and once in awhile a whole chicken nugget. If he is hungry. He will eat plain white chicken meat, and fish meat, and certain mashed potatoes but not all, and mac and cheese usually.

He has certainly never been a kid who will go to town and just eat, like his brother or sister! They are eaters, ham sandwiches from Subs with all the trimmings, pizza with meat, etc. hamburgers with everything on them, French fries, all sorts of weird drinks, love smoothies now with berries and fruit. They will eat almost any and all things. Love candy where Lucas has never liked it much, will eat a few plain gummy bears sometimes now though.

And get this, he is big and tall for his age! He is only 7 and wears size 12 jeans only he won’t wear jeans, wears sweat pants, and size 10-12 t-shirts and hoodies, and size 5 shoes. Wonder sometimes how big he’d be if he ATE WELL!

I do think it is the chocolate milk that has been the main stay of his diet that has made him grow well, all that milk and chocolate. Every once in awhile I ask him when he is going to give up his baby bottle and he just laughs. He never drinks it when the cousins come over, he knows they will tease him.

Cute kid huh, and he is really cute, wish I could send a picture. Blond blue eyed with spiky hair and the cutest smile ever, with big teeth like Bugs Bunny!

Carolyn ;o)

From: Van Laan

Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2012 4:49 AM

To: autism-aspergers

Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

It seems that most kids like ours want food served a certain way and appear a certain way and always have the same color or be cut up a certain way and so forth and so on....

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Friday, March 16, 2012 8:33 PMSubject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Does anyone have kids who will eat food without having to add qualifications? Almost everything my son eats has to have some sort of modification.

Mine likes PBJ, tunafish w/ mayo only, american cheese, meatballs, chicken nuggets, applesauce (not chunky), pasta as long as their are no green It. seasonings flakes, plain pizza, hot dogs, but no chicken breast, no pork, no steak, no veg, some fruit (no skin), used to eat bananas but doesn't anymore, won't eat eggs....

From: herberkids3 mailto:herberkids3@...To: autism-aspergers Sent: Friday, March 16, 2012 4:17 PMSubject: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

I stock chicken noodle soup, grilled cheese makings, and cottage cheese- that's about all my youngest will eat.My older aspie has never had a big issue with food- he stuck to normal kid foods when he was younger, but now at 13, he'll try and eat more foods than I do. > >> > Hey, everyone,> > I've really loved this back and forth discussion regarding how others view us as lazy or as bad parents. Going along with this sort of thinking, have any of you experienced this type of criticism coming from family members or friends?> > I have....many more times than I can write about here. I love all my kin dearly, don't get me wrong, but sometimes they come out with very hurtful things.> > They love to give suggestions on how I could do things differently and better when it comes to feeding my 9 yr grandson (PDD-NOS) who has SED (selective eating disorder which goes beyond just being picky) and deal with brushing teeth, cutting nails, and just about any situations where NT kids have no problem. When I tell them I've tried this or that and it doesn't work or whatever, they make me feel like I'm a failure and I just am not parenting the right way.> > I can't help but feel that secretly they think my bad parenting is actually the cause of my grandson behaving the way he does. This makes me sad.> > > >>

No virus found in this message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.comVersion: 2012.0.1913 / Virus Database: 2114/4874 - Release Date: 03/16/12

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I took to Burger King yesterday to order chicken fries since they are

the only shape he likes and they don`t have them anymore.:-(

--------------------------- > > > > >Mine likes PBJ,

tunafish w/ mayo only, american cheese, meatballs, chicken nuggets, applesauce

(not chunky), pasta as long as their are no green It. seasonings flakes, plain

pizza, hot dogs, but no chicken breast, no pork, no steak, no veg, some fruit

(no skin), used to eat bananas but doesn't anymore, won't eat eggs.... > >

> > > > > > >From: herberkids3 mailto:herberkids3@... >To:

autism-aspergers >Sent: Friday, March 16, 2012 4:17 PM

>Subject: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others > > > > > >I

stock chicken noodle soup, grilled cheese makings, and cottage cheese- that's

about all my youngest will eat. > >My older aspie has never had a big issue

with food- he stuck to normal kid foods when he was younger, but now at 13,

he'll try and eat more foods than I do.

> >

>> > >> > Hey, everyone, >> > I've really loved this back and forth discussion

regarding how others view us as lazy or as bad parents. Going along with this

sort of thinking, have any of you experienced this type of

criticism coming from family members or friends? >> > I have....many more

times than I can write about here. I love all my kin dearly, don't get me wrong,

but sometimes they come out with very hurtful things. >> > They love to give

suggestions on how I could do things differently and better when it comes to

feeding my 9 yr grandson (PDD-NOS) who has SED (selective eating disorder which

goes beyond just being picky) and deal with brushing teeth, cutting nails, and

just about any situations where NT kids have no problem. When I tell them I've

tried this or that and it doesn't work or whatever, they make me feel like I'm a

failure and I just am not parenting the right way. >> > I can't help but feel

that secretly they think my bad parenting is actually the cause of my grandson

behaving the way he does. This makes me sad. >> > >> > >> > > > > >No

virus found in this message. >Checked by AVG - www.avg.com >Version:

2012.0.1913 / Virus

Database: 2114/4874 - Release Date: 03/16/12 > > > > > > > >

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Funny you should mention his nails as he is very very touchy about them. If he gets a little hang nail he will shriek until we find the nail clippers and get it off for him. He has been known to try and bite them off especially at school where people don’t really understand what is upsetting him so don’t go for the nail clippers. He has been learning to somewhat clip his own off. He doesn’t like to bite them and tear them off because it hurts, hope he doesn’t start doing that.

Carolyn

From: Van Laan

Sent: Sunday, March 18, 2012 7:23 AM

To: autism-aspergers

Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Hope he doesn't start biting his nails! :)

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2012 3:00 PMSubject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Oh yes he will eat cereal also, certain sugary kinds, and his mom says she has seen him eat lettuce but I have never seen it. He tends to smell his hands a lot now. Hmm. Has always smelled food before he will eat it.

Carolyn

From: Carolyn

Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2012 11:56 AM

To: autism-aspergers

Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Hi all, I notice you are having a food discussion here and want to add a few comments. My grandson Lucas has food issues also. For a long time now he subsists on his chocolate milk, Nestles Quick, and I hate to even write this down, he still takes it from his baby bottle and he is 7 1/2 years old! Has it every day after school like he’s been waiting for it all day. Then has a vanilla yogurt drink. If they are the small ones he can drink a whole 6 pack after his chocolate milk.

For lunch his mom sends Sunny Delight orange juice, two yogurts, maybe a sandwich on white bread cut in four squares with something in the middle he will sometimes eat, and a couple plain white sugar cookies, the soft ones. Most of the time most of it is left in his lunch box when he comes home.

Can’t send peanut butter to school in case and allergic kid might accidentally get it.

But thank God he will eat pizza, has to be plain cheese, when we eat out say at Mc’s after church he will eat a vanilla milk shake, has to be vanilla, never chocolate, no cherry on top, maybe a bite or two of a plain cheeseburger, a few fries, and once in awhile a whole chicken nugget. If he is hungry. He will eat plain white chicken meat, and fish meat, and certain mashed potatoes but not all, and mac and cheese usually.

He has certainly never been a kid who will go to town and just eat, like his brother or sister! They are eaters, ham sandwiches from Subs with all the trimmings, pizza with meat, etc. hamburgers with everything on them, French fries, all sorts of weird drinks, love smoothies now with berries and fruit. They will eat almost any and all things. Love candy where Lucas has never liked it much, will eat a few plain gummy bears sometimes now though.

And get this, he is big and tall for his age! He is only 7 and wears size 12 jeans only he won’t wear jeans, wears sweat pants, and size 10-12 t-shirts and hoodies, and size 5 shoes. Wonder sometimes how big he’d be if he ATE WELL!

I do think it is the chocolate milk that has been the main stay of his diet that has made him grow well, all that milk and chocolate. Every once in awhile I ask him when he is going to give up his baby bottle and he just laughs. He never drinks it when the cousins come over, he knows they will tease him.

Cute kid huh, and he is really cute, wish I could send a picture. Blond blue eyed with spiky hair and the cutest smile ever, with big teeth like Bugs Bunny!

Carolyn ;o)

From: Van Laan

Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2012 4:49 AM

To: autism-aspergers

Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

It seems that most kids like ours want food served a certain way and appear a certain way and always have the same color or be cut up a certain way and so forth and so on....

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Friday, March 16, 2012 8:33 PMSubject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Does anyone have kids who will eat food without having to add qualifications? Almost everything my son eats has to have some sort of modification.

Mine likes PBJ, tunafish w/ mayo only, american cheese, meatballs, chicken nuggets, applesauce (not chunky), pasta as long as their are no green It. seasonings flakes, plain pizza, hot dogs, but no chicken breast, no pork, no steak, no veg, some fruit (no skin), used to eat bananas but doesn't anymore, won't eat eggs....

From: herberkids3 mailto:herberkids3@...To: autism-aspergers Sent: Friday, March 16, 2012 4:17 PMSubject: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

I stock chicken noodle soup, grilled cheese makings, and cottage cheese- that's about all my youngest will eat.My older aspie has never had a big issue with food- he stuck to normal kid foods when he was younger, but now at 13, he'll try and eat more foods than I do. > >> > Hey, everyone,> > I've really loved this back and forth discussion regarding how others view us as lazy or as bad parents. Going along with this sort of thinking, have any of you experienced this type of criticism coming from family members or friends?> > I have....many more times than I can write about here. I love all my kin dearly, don't get me wrong, but sometimes they come out with very hurtful things.> > They love to give suggestions on how I could do things differently and better when it comes to feeding my 9 yr grandson (PDD-NOS) who has SED (selective eating disorder which goes beyond just being picky) and deal with brushing teeth, cutting nails, and just about any situations where NT kids have no problem. When I tell them I've tried this or that and it doesn't work or whatever, they make me feel like I'm a failure and I just am not parenting the right way.> > I can't help but feel that secretly they think my bad parenting is actually the cause of my grandson behaving the way he does. This makes me sad.> > > >>

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We’ve chosen not to fight about food with Lucas either. Because he really has problems and it is not just a matter of stubbornness. So we try to give him compassion and support, and figure he will overcome it in time and he has quite a bit. Like all of a sudden he’ll take a big bite out of something and really surprise us. But we just figured more pressure wouldn’t help him get over his fear of food, because it does appear to be fear for him. He is afraid of the taste, the texture, he’ll gag and throw up, whatever.

Recently he has been sick again and had to take oral antibiotic and it was a nightmare to give it to him. His mother had to coax him and sometimes a dose would take him 20 minutes to gag down in tiny little sips. He absolutely will not just gulp it down like most kids will, and if we try and force him he will gag and throw up. I used to put it into my children’s mouths then hold their noses and they HAD to swallow. I know cruel but it worked. Then I gave them juice or pop or something.

With him he would just have a coughing choking fit if you did that.

Thank God he is getting better now, last year when he had pneumonia my daughter finally had to take him to the ER for a shot in his behind. He doesn’t want a repeat of that, so tries his best to get the meds down now. And even the meds to reduce fever, same thing.

Carolyn

From: Muehleisen Family

Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2012 10:16 PM

To: autism-aspergers

Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

I've tried the whole "if they are hungry enough, they'll eat"...no they won't. They get so hungry they start vomiting...or they go sneak into the kitchen and get food in the middle of the night. They also become obsessed about food and then the battles become worse.

I require a 'no thank you' bite but it is never a battle of the wills. I'm smart enough to know that I will loose a battle of the wills. I might win a battle but I will totally loose the war. It's just not worth it.

  Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you;

Jesus Christ and the American Soldier.

One died for your soul; the other for your freedom.

-- Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others I've so been there. My sister once asked my mom, to tell me, that I could come over but to leave my daughter at home. Seriously, what Aunt wouldn't want to see her neice and what grandparent wouldn't want to see her grandchild? My daughter was a handful but she wasn't horrible.My mom told me just the other day that she doesn't think my daughter is an Aspie because she doesn't do the same things my Uncle's adopted son does. From the time my daughter was 2 until 12, she saw her grandmother about 1-3 times a year. She hasn't seen her for the past 3 years and yet my mom can correctly diagnose her. Interesting. We took the kids to my dad's house a few years ago. We were going to have a family dinner at my sister's house. They are all avid hunters and I knew we would be eating wild game. I KNEW my two orally defensive children would not tolerate the unique taste and texture of wild game. I fed them before we went to dinner. I still fixed them both a plate and made them take a 'no thank you' bite of everything. They did it without too much fuss but neither of them would eat any more. My whole family was irritated at me. "If they get hungry enough, They'll eat". I told them no they wouldn't. I told them my Aspie daughter would meltdown and my son would vomit. They still gave me the impression that I was a bad mom. At the time my daughter was not diagnosed. Now that she is diagnosed, they are quite a bit more forgiving but still slightly judgmental.As if dealing with our children wasn't hard enough. Now we have to deal with 'our support system' too. Oh what fun time?!>> Hey, everyone,> I've really loved this back and forth discussion regarding how others view us as lazy or as bad parents. Going along with this sort of thinking, have any of you experienced this type of criticism coming from family members or friends?> I have....many more times than I can write about here. I love all my kin dearly, don't get me wrong, but sometimes they come out with very hurtful things.> They love to give suggestions on how I could do things differently and better when it comes to feeding my 9 yr grandson (PDD-NOS) who has SED (selective eating disorder which goes beyond just being picky) and deal with brushing teeth, cutting nails, and just about any situations where NT kids have no problem. When I tell them I've tried this or that and it doesn't work or whatever, they make me feel like I'm a failure and I just am not parenting the right way.> I can't help but feel that secretly they think my bad parenting is actually the cause of my grandson behaving the way he does. This makes me sad.> >

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This sounds like my daughter and great nephew. Medications are a nightmare. My daughter needs seizure meds. After fighting for 29 years I got her a feeding tube for meds. I hate that idea but it was either that or well I will not even think about it. My great nephew is very high functioning and while it is not his first choice he wants the shots.Judy FSent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerrySender: autism-aspergers Date: Sun, 18 Mar 2012 12:49:28 -0700To: <autism-aspergers >ReplyTo: autism-aspergers Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others We’ve chosen not to fight about food with Lucas either. Because he really has problems and it is not just a matter of stubbornness. So we try to give him compassion and support, and figure he will overcome it in time and he has quite a bit. Like all of a sudden he’ll take a big bite out of something and really surprise us. But we just figured more pressure wouldn’t help him get over his fear of food, because it does appear to be fear for him. He is afraid of the taste, the texture, he’ll gag and throw up, whatever. Recently he has been sick again and had to take oral antibiotic and it was a nightmare to give it to him. His mother had to coax him and sometimes a dose would take him 20 minutes to gag down in tiny little sips. He absolutely will not just gulp it down like most kids will, and if we try and force him he will gag and throw up. I used to put it into my children’s mouths then hold their noses and they HAD to swallow. I know cruel but it worked. Then I gave them juice or pop or something. With him he would just have a coughing choking fit if you did that. Thank God he is getting better now, last year when he had pneumonia my daughter finally had to take him to the ER for a shot in his behind. He doesn’t want a repeat of that, so tries his best to get the meds down now. And even the meds to reduce fever, same thing. Carolyn From: Muehleisen Family Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2012 10:16 PMTo: autism-aspergers Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others I've tried the whole "if they are hungry enough, they'll eat"...no they won't. They get so hungry they start vomiting...or they go sneak into the kitchen and get food in the middle of the night. They also become obsessed about food and then the battles become worse. I require a 'no thank you' bite but it is never a battle of the wills. I'm smart enough to know that I will loose a battle of the wills. I might win a battle but I will totally loose the war. It's just not worth it.   Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you;Jesus Christ and the American Soldier.One died for your soul; the other for your freedom.-- Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others I've so been there. My sister once asked my mom, to tell me, that I could come over but to leave my daughter at home. Seriously, what Aunt wouldn't want to see her neice and what grandparent wouldn't want to see her grandchild? My daughter was a handful but she wasn't horrible.My mom told me just the other day that she doesn't think my daughter is an Aspie because she doesn't do the same things my Uncle's adopted son does. From the time my daughter was 2 until 12, she saw her grandmother about 1-3 times a year. She hasn't seen her for the past 3 years and yet my mom can correctly diagnose her. Interesting. We took the kids to my dad's house a few years ago. We were going to have a family dinner at my sister's house. They are all avid hunters and I knew we would be eating wild game. I KNEW my two orally defensive children would not tolerate the unique taste and texture of wild game. I fed them before we went to dinner. I still fixed them both a plate and made them take a 'no thank you' bite of everything. They did it without too much fuss but neither of them would eat any more. My whole family was irritated at me. "If they get hungry enough, They'll eat". I told them no they wouldn't. I told them my Aspie daughter would meltdown and my son would vomit. They still gave me the impression that I was a bad mom. At the time my daughter was not diagnosed. Now that she is diagnosed, they are quite a bit more forgiving but still slightly judgmental.As if dealing with our children wasn't hard enough. Now we have to deal with 'our support system' too. Oh what fun time?!>> Hey, everyone,> I've really loved this back and forth discussion regarding how others view us as lazy or as bad parents. Going along with this sort of thinking, have any of you experienced this type of criticism coming from family members or friends?> I have....many more times than I can write about here. I love all my kin dearly, don't get me wrong, but sometimes they come out with very hurtful things.> They love to give suggestions on how I could do things differently and better when it comes to feeding my 9 yr grandson (PDD-NOS) who has SED (selective eating disorder which goes beyond just being picky) and deal with brushing teeth, cutting nails, and just about any situations where NT kids have no problem. When I tell them I've tried this or that and it doesn't work or whatever, they make me feel like I'm a failure and I just am not parenting the right way.> I can't help but feel that secretly they think my bad parenting is actually the cause of my grandson behaving the way he does. This makes me sad.> >

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This sounds like my daughter and great nephew. Medications are a nightmare. My daughter needs seizure meds. After fighting for 29 years I got her a feeding tube for meds. I hate that idea but it was either that or well I will not even think about it. My great nephew is very high functioning and while it is not his first choice he wants the shots.Judy FSent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerrySender: autism-aspergers Date: Sun, 18 Mar 2012 12:49:28 -0700To: <autism-aspergers >ReplyTo: autism-aspergers Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others We’ve chosen not to fight about food with Lucas either. Because he really has problems and it is not just a matter of stubbornness. So we try to give him compassion and support, and figure he will overcome it in time and he has quite a bit. Like all of a sudden he’ll take a big bite out of something and really surprise us. But we just figured more pressure wouldn’t help him get over his fear of food, because it does appear to be fear for him. He is afraid of the taste, the texture, he’ll gag and throw up, whatever. Recently he has been sick again and had to take oral antibiotic and it was a nightmare to give it to him. His mother had to coax him and sometimes a dose would take him 20 minutes to gag down in tiny little sips. He absolutely will not just gulp it down like most kids will, and if we try and force him he will gag and throw up. I used to put it into my children’s mouths then hold their noses and they HAD to swallow. I know cruel but it worked. Then I gave them juice or pop or something. With him he would just have a coughing choking fit if you did that. Thank God he is getting better now, last year when he had pneumonia my daughter finally had to take him to the ER for a shot in his behind. He doesn’t want a repeat of that, so tries his best to get the meds down now. And even the meds to reduce fever, same thing. Carolyn From: Muehleisen Family Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2012 10:16 PMTo: autism-aspergers Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others I've tried the whole "if they are hungry enough, they'll eat"...no they won't. They get so hungry they start vomiting...or they go sneak into the kitchen and get food in the middle of the night. They also become obsessed about food and then the battles become worse. I require a 'no thank you' bite but it is never a battle of the wills. I'm smart enough to know that I will loose a battle of the wills. I might win a battle but I will totally loose the war. It's just not worth it.   Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you;Jesus Christ and the American Soldier.One died for your soul; the other for your freedom.-- Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others I've so been there. My sister once asked my mom, to tell me, that I could come over but to leave my daughter at home. Seriously, what Aunt wouldn't want to see her neice and what grandparent wouldn't want to see her grandchild? My daughter was a handful but she wasn't horrible.My mom told me just the other day that she doesn't think my daughter is an Aspie because she doesn't do the same things my Uncle's adopted son does. From the time my daughter was 2 until 12, she saw her grandmother about 1-3 times a year. She hasn't seen her for the past 3 years and yet my mom can correctly diagnose her. Interesting. We took the kids to my dad's house a few years ago. We were going to have a family dinner at my sister's house. They are all avid hunters and I knew we would be eating wild game. I KNEW my two orally defensive children would not tolerate the unique taste and texture of wild game. I fed them before we went to dinner. I still fixed them both a plate and made them take a 'no thank you' bite of everything. They did it without too much fuss but neither of them would eat any more. My whole family was irritated at me. "If they get hungry enough, They'll eat". I told them no they wouldn't. I told them my Aspie daughter would meltdown and my son would vomit. They still gave me the impression that I was a bad mom. At the time my daughter was not diagnosed. Now that she is diagnosed, they are quite a bit more forgiving but still slightly judgmental.As if dealing with our children wasn't hard enough. Now we have to deal with 'our support system' too. Oh what fun time?!>> Hey, everyone,> I've really loved this back and forth discussion regarding how others view us as lazy or as bad parents. Going along with this sort of thinking, have any of you experienced this type of criticism coming from family members or friends?> I have....many more times than I can write about here. I love all my kin dearly, don't get me wrong, but sometimes they come out with very hurtful things.> They love to give suggestions on how I could do things differently and better when it comes to feeding my 9 yr grandson (PDD-NOS) who has SED (selective eating disorder which goes beyond just being picky) and deal with brushing teeth, cutting nails, and just about any situations where NT kids have no problem. When I tell them I've tried this or that and it doesn't work or whatever, they make me feel like I'm a failure and I just am not parenting the right way.> I can't help but feel that secretly they think my bad parenting is actually the cause of my grandson behaving the way he does. This makes me sad.> >

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I have 2 nail biters. Neither one has nails to speak of on their hands- when the

nails on their hands are gone, they start biting their toe nails. When there's

nothing left to bite, they pick at the skin on their fingers and toes, peeling

it away.

> >> >

> >> > Hey,

> everyone,

> >> > I've really loved this back and forth discussion

> regarding how others view us as lazy or as bad parents. Going along with

this

> sort of thinking, have any of you experienced this type of criticism coming

> from family members or friends?

> >> > I have....many more times than I

> can write about here. I love all my kin dearly, don't get me wrong, but

> sometimes they come out with very hurtful things.

> >> > They love to

> give suggestions on how I could do things differently and better when it

comes

> to feeding my 9 yr grandson (PDD-NOS) who has SED (selective eating disorder

> which goes beyond just being picky) and deal with brushing teeth, cutting

> nails, and just about any situations where NT kids have no problem. When I

> tell them I've tried this or that and it doesn't work or whatever, they make

> me feel like I'm a failure and I just am not parenting the right way.

> >>

> > I can't help but feel that secretly they think my bad parenting is

> actually the cause of my grandson behaving the way he does. This makes me

> sad.

> >> >

> >>

> >

> >>

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >No virus found in this message.

> >Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

> >Version: 2012.0.1913 / Virus Database:

> 2114/4874 - Release Date:

> 03/16/12

>

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That's how I was when I was a kid! I still bite and pick even though I am 45! I swear if I were limber enough I would chew my toe nails too! Kidding!My asd doesn't do any of that. But embarrassed to say he does pick his butt and smell it and eat his boogers!Ugh!Sent from my iPhone

I have 2 nail biters. Neither one has nails to speak of on their hands- when the nails on their hands are gone, they start biting their toe nails. When there's nothing left to bite, they pick at the skin on their fingers and toes, peeling it away.

> >> >

> >> > Hey,

> everyone,

> >> > I've really loved this back and forth discussion

> regarding how others view us as lazy or as bad parents. Going along with this

> sort of thinking, have any of you experienced this type of criticism coming

> from family members or friends?

> >> > I have....many more times than I

> can write about here. I love all my kin dearly, don't get me wrong, but

> sometimes they come out with very hurtful things.

> >> > They love to

> give suggestions on how I could do things differently and better when it comes

> to feeding my 9 yr grandson (PDD-NOS) who has SED (selective eating disorder

> which goes beyond just being picky) and deal with brushing teeth, cutting

> nails, and just about any situations where NT kids have no problem. When I

> tell them I've tried this or that and it doesn't work or whatever, they make

> me feel like I'm a failure and I just am not parenting the right way.

> >>

> > I can't help but feel that secretly they think my bad parenting is

> actually the cause of my grandson behaving the way he does. This makes me

> sad.

> >> >

> >>

> >

> >>

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >No virus found in this message.

> >Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

> >Version: 2012.0.1913 / Virus Database:

> 2114/4874 - Release Date:

> 03/16/12

>

=

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Mine's nine and he just started biting his nails this past year. Now I just have to tackle cutting his toenails!! To: autism-aspergers Sent: Sunday, March 18, 2012 3:41 PM Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Funny you should mention his nails as he is very very touchy about them. If he gets a little hang nail he will shriek until we find the nail clippers and get it off for him. He has been known to try and bite them off especially at school where people don’t really understand what is upsetting him so don’t go for the nail clippers. He has been learning to somewhat clip his own off. He doesn’t like to bite them and tear them off because it hurts, hope he doesn’t start doing that.

Carolyn

From: Van Laan

Sent: Sunday, March 18, 2012 7:23 AM

To: autism-aspergers

Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Hope he doesn't start biting his nails! :)

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2012 3:00 PMSubject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Oh yes he will eat cereal also, certain sugary kinds, and his mom says she has seen him eat lettuce but I have never seen it. He tends to smell his hands a lot now. Hmm. Has always smelled food before he will eat it.

Carolyn

From: Carolyn

Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2012 11:56 AM

To: autism-aspergers

Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Hi all, I notice you are having a food discussion here and want to add a few comments. My grandson Lucas has food issues also. For a long time now he subsists on his chocolate milk, Nestles Quick, and I hate to even write this down, he still takes it from his baby bottle and he is 7 1/2 years old! Has it every day after school like he’s been waiting for it all day. Then has a vanilla yogurt drink. If they are the small ones he can drink a whole 6 pack after his chocolate milk.

For lunch his mom sends Sunny Delight orange juice, two yogurts, maybe a sandwich on white bread cut in four squares with something in the middle he will sometimes eat, and a couple plain white sugar cookies, the soft ones. Most of the time most of it is left in his lunch box when he comes home.

Can’t send peanut butter to school in case and allergic kid might accidentally get it.

But thank God he will eat pizza, has to be plain cheese, when we eat out say at Mc’s after church he will eat a vanilla milk shake, has to be vanilla, never chocolate, no cherry on top, maybe a bite or two of a plain cheeseburger, a few fries, and once in awhile a whole chicken nugget. If he is hungry. He will eat plain white chicken meat, and fish meat, and certain mashed potatoes but not all, and mac and cheese usually.

He has certainly never been a kid who will go to town and just eat, like his brother or sister! They are eaters, ham sandwiches from Subs with all the trimmings, pizza with meat, etc. hamburgers with everything on them, French fries, all sorts of weird drinks, love smoothies now with berries and fruit. They will eat almost any and all things. Love candy where Lucas has never liked it much, will eat a few plain gummy bears sometimes now though.

And get this, he is big and tall for his age! He is only 7 and wears size 12 jeans only he won’t wear jeans, wears sweat pants, and size 10-12 t-shirts and hoodies, and size 5 shoes. Wonder sometimes how big he’d be if he ATE WELL!

I do think it is the chocolate milk that has been the main stay of his diet that has made him grow well, all that milk and chocolate. Every once in awhile I ask him when he is going to give up his baby bottle and he just laughs. He never drinks it when the cousins come over, he knows they will tease him.

Cute kid huh, and he is really cute, wish I could send a picture. Blond blue eyed with spiky hair and the cutest smile ever, with big teeth like Bugs Bunny!

Carolyn ;o)

From: Van Laan

Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2012 4:49 AM

To: autism-aspergers

Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

It seems that most kids like ours want food served a certain way and appear a certain way and always have the same color or be cut up a certain way and so forth and so on....

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Friday, March 16, 2012 8:33 PMSubject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Does anyone have kids who will eat food without having to add qualifications? Almost everything my son eats has to have some sort of modification.

Mine likes PBJ, tunafish w/ mayo only, american cheese, meatballs, chicken nuggets, applesauce (not chunky), pasta as long as their are no green It. seasonings flakes, plain pizza, hot dogs, but no chicken breast, no pork, no steak, no veg, some fruit (no skin), used to eat bananas but doesn't anymore, won't eat eggs....

From: herberkids3 mailto:herberkids3@...To: autism-aspergers Sent: Friday, March 16, 2012 4:17 PMSubject: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

I stock chicken noodle soup, grilled cheese makings, and cottage cheese- that's about all my youngest will eat.My older aspie has never had a big issue with food- he stuck to normal kid foods when he was younger, but now at 13, he'll try and eat more foods than I do. > >> > Hey, everyone,> > I've really loved this back and forth discussion regarding how others view us as lazy or as bad parents. Going along with this sort of thinking, have any of you experienced this type of criticism coming from family members or friends?> > I have....many more times than I can write about here. I love all my kin dearly, don't get me wrong, but sometimes they come out with very hurtful things.> > They love to give suggestions on how I could do things differently and better when it comes to feeding my 9 yr grandson (PDD-NOS) who has SED (selective eating disorder which goes beyond just being picky) and deal with brushing teeth, cutting nails, and just about any situations where NT kids have no problem. When I tell them I've tried this or that and it doesn't work or whatever, they make me feel like I'm a failure and I just am not parenting the right way.> > I can't help but feel that secretly they think my bad parenting is actually the cause of my grandson behaving the way he does. This makes me sad.> > > >>

No virus found in this message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.comVersion: 2012.0.1913 / Virus Database: 2114/4874 - Release Date: 03/16/12

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Mine's nine and he just started biting his nails this past year. Now I just have to tackle cutting his toenails!! To: autism-aspergers Sent: Sunday, March 18, 2012 3:41 PM Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Funny you should mention his nails as he is very very touchy about them. If he gets a little hang nail he will shriek until we find the nail clippers and get it off for him. He has been known to try and bite them off especially at school where people don’t really understand what is upsetting him so don’t go for the nail clippers. He has been learning to somewhat clip his own off. He doesn’t like to bite them and tear them off because it hurts, hope he doesn’t start doing that.

Carolyn

From: Van Laan

Sent: Sunday, March 18, 2012 7:23 AM

To: autism-aspergers

Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Hope he doesn't start biting his nails! :)

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2012 3:00 PMSubject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Oh yes he will eat cereal also, certain sugary kinds, and his mom says she has seen him eat lettuce but I have never seen it. He tends to smell his hands a lot now. Hmm. Has always smelled food before he will eat it.

Carolyn

From: Carolyn

Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2012 11:56 AM

To: autism-aspergers

Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Hi all, I notice you are having a food discussion here and want to add a few comments. My grandson Lucas has food issues also. For a long time now he subsists on his chocolate milk, Nestles Quick, and I hate to even write this down, he still takes it from his baby bottle and he is 7 1/2 years old! Has it every day after school like he’s been waiting for it all day. Then has a vanilla yogurt drink. If they are the small ones he can drink a whole 6 pack after his chocolate milk.

For lunch his mom sends Sunny Delight orange juice, two yogurts, maybe a sandwich on white bread cut in four squares with something in the middle he will sometimes eat, and a couple plain white sugar cookies, the soft ones. Most of the time most of it is left in his lunch box when he comes home.

Can’t send peanut butter to school in case and allergic kid might accidentally get it.

But thank God he will eat pizza, has to be plain cheese, when we eat out say at Mc’s after church he will eat a vanilla milk shake, has to be vanilla, never chocolate, no cherry on top, maybe a bite or two of a plain cheeseburger, a few fries, and once in awhile a whole chicken nugget. If he is hungry. He will eat plain white chicken meat, and fish meat, and certain mashed potatoes but not all, and mac and cheese usually.

He has certainly never been a kid who will go to town and just eat, like his brother or sister! They are eaters, ham sandwiches from Subs with all the trimmings, pizza with meat, etc. hamburgers with everything on them, French fries, all sorts of weird drinks, love smoothies now with berries and fruit. They will eat almost any and all things. Love candy where Lucas has never liked it much, will eat a few plain gummy bears sometimes now though.

And get this, he is big and tall for his age! He is only 7 and wears size 12 jeans only he won’t wear jeans, wears sweat pants, and size 10-12 t-shirts and hoodies, and size 5 shoes. Wonder sometimes how big he’d be if he ATE WELL!

I do think it is the chocolate milk that has been the main stay of his diet that has made him grow well, all that milk and chocolate. Every once in awhile I ask him when he is going to give up his baby bottle and he just laughs. He never drinks it when the cousins come over, he knows they will tease him.

Cute kid huh, and he is really cute, wish I could send a picture. Blond blue eyed with spiky hair and the cutest smile ever, with big teeth like Bugs Bunny!

Carolyn ;o)

From: Van Laan

Sent: Saturday, March 17, 2012 4:49 AM

To: autism-aspergers

Subject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

It seems that most kids like ours want food served a certain way and appear a certain way and always have the same color or be cut up a certain way and so forth and so on....

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Friday, March 16, 2012 8:33 PMSubject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

Does anyone have kids who will eat food without having to add qualifications? Almost everything my son eats has to have some sort of modification.

Mine likes PBJ, tunafish w/ mayo only, american cheese, meatballs, chicken nuggets, applesauce (not chunky), pasta as long as their are no green It. seasonings flakes, plain pizza, hot dogs, but no chicken breast, no pork, no steak, no veg, some fruit (no skin), used to eat bananas but doesn't anymore, won't eat eggs....

From: herberkids3 mailto:herberkids3@...To: autism-aspergers Sent: Friday, March 16, 2012 4:17 PMSubject: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

I stock chicken noodle soup, grilled cheese makings, and cottage cheese- that's about all my youngest will eat.My older aspie has never had a big issue with food- he stuck to normal kid foods when he was younger, but now at 13, he'll try and eat more foods than I do. > >> > Hey, everyone,> > I've really loved this back and forth discussion regarding how others view us as lazy or as bad parents. Going along with this sort of thinking, have any of you experienced this type of criticism coming from family members or friends?> > I have....many more times than I can write about here. I love all my kin dearly, don't get me wrong, but sometimes they come out with very hurtful things.> > They love to give suggestions on how I could do things differently and better when it comes to feeding my 9 yr grandson (PDD-NOS) who has SED (selective eating disorder which goes beyond just being picky) and deal with brushing teeth, cutting nails, and just about any situations where NT kids have no problem. When I tell them I've tried this or that and it doesn't work or whatever, they make me feel like I'm a failure and I just am not parenting the right way.> > I can't help but feel that secretly they think my bad parenting is actually the cause of my grandson behaving the way he does. This makes me sad.> > > >>

No virus found in this message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.comVersion: 2012.0.1913 / Virus Database: 2114/4874 - Release Date: 03/16/12

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My daughter does this too. When her fingernails and toenails are gone, she picks her nose and then plays with it. SO GROSS! Unfortunately, she doesn't even realize she is doing it. If I tell her to stop, she will but not for long. That doesn't sit will with her peers. Fortunately the girls in our Girl Scout Troop have learned to ignore it or sometimes they'll politely ask her to stop. We make sure she washes her hands frequently.

  Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you;

Jesus Christ and the American Soldier.

One died for your soul; the other for your freedom.

-- Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others

I have 2 nail biters. Neither one has nails to speak of on their hands- when the nails on their hands are gone, they start biting their toe nails. When there's nothing left to bite, they pick at the skin on their fingers and toes, peeling it away. > >> >> >> > Hey, > everyone,> >> > I've really loved this back and forth discussion > regarding how others view us as lazy or as bad parents. Going along with this > sort of thinking, have any of you experienced this type of criticism coming > from family members or friends?> >> > I have....many more times than I > can write about here. I love all my kin dearly, don't get me wrong, but > sometimes they come out with very hurtful things.> >> > They love to > give suggestions on how I could do things differently and better when it comes > to feeding my 9 yr grandson (PDD-NOS) who has SED (selective eating disorder > which goes beyond just being picky) and deal with brushing teeth, cutting > nails, and just about any situations where NT kids have no problem. When I > tell them I've tried this or that and it doesn't work or whatever, they make > me feel like I'm a failure and I just am not parenting the right way.> >> > > I can't help but feel that secretly they think my bad parenting is > actually the cause of my grandson behaving the way he does. This makes me > sad.> >> > > >> > >> >>> >> >> >> >> >No virus found in this message.> >Checked by AVG - www.avg.com> >Version: 2012.0.1913 / Virus Database: > 2114/4874 - Release Date: > 03/16/12>

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My AS daughter learned to swallow pills early (5y/o) because she couldn't stand liquid meds. I got M & M's and had her swallow them whole. That was easy to do since it was food. The transition to pills was easy for her. My NT son is orally defensive too for some reason. He learned to swallow pills (4y/o) early too because he couldn't stand the liquid stuff either.

Neither of them will take any type of liquid meds anymore (cough syrup...).

  Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you;

Jesus Christ and the American Soldier.

One died for your soul; the other for your freedom.

-- Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others I've so been there. My sister once asked my mom, to tell me, that I could come over but to leave my daughter at home. Seriously, what Aunt wouldn't want to see her neice and what grandparent wouldn't want to see her grandchild? My daughter was a handful but she wasn't horrible.My mom told me just the other day that she doesn't think my daughter is an Aspie because she doesn't do the same things my Uncle's adopted son does. From the time my daughter was 2 until 12, she saw her grandmother about 1-3 times a year. She hasn't seen her for the past 3 years and yet my mom can correctly diagnose her. Interesting. We took the kids to my dad's house a few years ago. We were going to have a family dinner at my sister's house. They are all avid hunters and I knew we would be eating wild game. I KNEW my two orally defensive children would not tolerate the unique taste and texture of wild game. I fed them before we went to dinner. I still fixed them both a plate and made them take a 'no thank you' bite of everything. They did it without too much fuss but neither of them would eat any more. My whole family was irritated at me. "If they get hungry enough, They'll eat". I told them no they wouldn't. I told them my Aspie daughter would meltdown and my son would vomit. They still gave me the impression that I was a bad mom. At the time my daughter was not diagnosed. Now that she is diagnosed, they are quite a bit more forgiving but still slightly judgmental.As if dealing with our children wasn't hard enough. Now we have to deal with 'our support system' too. Oh what fun time?!>> Hey, everyone,> I've really loved this back and forth discussion regarding how others view us as lazy or as bad parents. Going along with this sort of thinking, have any of you experienced this type of criticism coming from family members or friends?> I have....many more times than I can write about here. I love all my kin dearly, don't get me wrong, but sometimes they come out with very hurtful things.> They love to give suggestions on how I could do things differently and better when it comes to feeding my 9 yr grandson (PDD-NOS) who has SED (selective eating disorder which goes beyond just being picky) and deal with brushing teeth, cutting nails, and just about any situations where NT kids have no problem. When I tell them I've tried this or that and it doesn't work or whatever, they make me feel like I'm a failure and I just am not parenting the right way.> I can't help but feel that secretly they think my bad parenting is actually the cause of my grandson behaving the way he does. This makes me sad.> >

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My ASD also learned to swallow pills around the age of 5. But, he is pretty good about taking oral meds too. He takes a nasty one for anxiety and he hates it...but, he got use to it. LoriSubject: Re: Re: Bad parenting as viewed by othersTo: autism-aspergers Date: Sunday, March 18, 2012, 9:14 PM

My AS daughter learned to swallow pills early (5y/o) because she couldn't stand liquid meds. I got M & M's and had her swallow them whole. That was easy to do since it was food. The transition to pills was easy for her. My NT son is orally defensive too for some reason. He learned to swallow pills (4y/o) early too because he couldn't stand the liquid stuff either.

Neither of them will take any type of liquid meds anymore (cough syrup...).

  Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you;

Jesus Christ and the American Soldier.

One died for your soul; the other for your freedom.

-- Re: Bad parenting as viewed by others I've so been there. My sister once asked my mom, to tell me, that I could come over but to leave my daughter at home. Seriously, what Aunt wouldn't want to see her neice and what grandparent wouldn't want to see her grandchild? My daughter was a handful but she wasn't horrible.My mom told me just the other day that she doesn't think my daughter is an Aspie because she doesn't do the same things my Uncle's adopted son does. From the time my daughter was 2 until 12, she saw her

grandmother about 1-3 times a year. She hasn't seen her for the past 3 years and yet my mom can correctly diagnose her. Interesting. We took the kids to my dad's house a few years ago. We were going to have a family dinner at my sister's house. They are all avid hunters and I knew we would be eating wild game. I KNEW my two orally defensive children would not tolerate the unique taste and texture of wild game. I fed them before we went to dinner. I still fixed them both a plate and made them take a 'no thank you' bite of everything. They did it without too much fuss but neither of them would eat any more. My whole family was irritated at me. "If they get hungry enough, They'll eat". I told them no they wouldn't. I told them my Aspie daughter would meltdown and my son would vomit. They still gave me the impression that I was a bad mom. At the time my daughter was not diagnosed. Now that she is diagnosed, they are quite a bit more forgiving but

still slightly judgmental.As if dealing with our children wasn't hard enough. Now we have to deal with 'our support system' too. Oh what fun time?!>> Hey, everyone,> I've really loved this back and forth discussion regarding how others view us as lazy or as bad parents. Going along with this sort of thinking, have any of you experienced this type of criticism coming from family members or friends?> I have....many more times than I can write about here. I love all my kin dearly, don't get me wrong, but sometimes they come out with very hurtful things.> They love to give suggestions on how I could do things differently and better when it comes to feeding

my 9 yr grandson (PDD-NOS) who has SED (selective eating disorder which goes beyond just being picky) and deal with brushing teeth, cutting nails, and just about any situations where NT kids have no problem. When I tell them I've tried this or that and it doesn't work or whatever, they make me feel like I'm a failure and I just am not parenting the right way.> I can't help but feel that secretly they think my bad parenting is actually the cause of my grandson behaving the way he does. This makes me sad.> >

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I'm a bit behind as I have been catching up on ll my email from when I was in

the hospital...

My 6 year old won't swallow any meds and when he was given antibiotics, I

decided to crush them and tried to hide them in food. SOmehow he could always

tell. He complained of the taste, so I tried to teach him how to swallow them.

Now, this is what gets me. He would put it in his mouth and let it dissolve! He

hated the taste and would fight me about swallowing it (afraid he was going to

choke, but it was only half a pill), yet he would sit there and taste it while

he let it dissolve! Not sure what we will do if he ever gets on meds!

> >

> > Hey, everyone,

> > I've really loved this back and forth discussion regarding how others view

us as lazy or as bad parents. Going along with this sort of thinking, have any

of you experienced this type of criticism coming from family members or friends?

> > I have....many more times than I can write about here. I love all my kin

dearly, don't get me wrong, but sometimes they come out with very hurtful

things.

> > They love to give suggestions on how I could do things differently and

better when it comes to feeding my 9 yr grandson (PDD-NOS) who has SED

(selective eating disorder which goes beyond just being picky) and deal with

brushing teeth, cutting nails, and just about any situations where NT kids have

no problem. When I tell them I've tried this or that and it doesn't work or

whatever, they make me feel like I'm a failure and I just am not parenting the

right way.

> > I can't help but feel that secretly they think my bad parenting is actually

the cause of my grandson behaving the way he does. This makes me sad.

> >

> >

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