Re: question for patti

[Guest guest]

patti,

i have a question, and i will put it bluntly as i cannot come up with a

tactful way of asking, i am sorry about that,

frequently when i take daddy to doctor (70 years old) the doctor (especially

the neurologist) seems in a hurry and not wiling to wait for daddy to answer

his questions, i hate to speak for daddy but he tells me to go ahead and

answer for him, how do you feel and what do you suggest i say/do to help daddy

have as much input as possible for himself. thanks and sorry for the bluntness

hugs to you, sharon m

a smile a day keeps the meanies away!!!

[Guest guest]

Sharon

My Mom's nuerologist must be a saint, he tells her to take her time. After

he is thru with her, he turns to me and asks what is happening now. He is also

available for phone calls. He doesn't seem to think any question I have is

too small or unimportant. He is also very knowledgeable about LBD.

Maybe you need to ask his nuero if he is too busy to take the time for your

Dad. I feel it is important for our LO's to be as involved with their care as

we are for as long as they can. Just my opinion.

Hugs and prayers

Jacqui

[Guest guest]

patti,

thank you so much for taking the time to answer my qestion and for the

capability of answering it from both sides of the issue, as a nurse and as a

patient. dad expects me to answer all of his questions each time and i usually

do

have a list or pad iwth me for notes to take /bring . the problem then becomes

when they ask dad his memory questions either he doesnt want to answer them

or he thinks he knows hte questions and doesnt let the doc ask them without

trying to answer, like " do you know what day your (doctors appointment is) dad

will say november 28, 1934, guessing the question was his birthday and then

the doc (usually assistant) says no listen and tries to ask again, and dad

again trying to be good, does the same thing so i step in and say daddy listen

to the question, she doesnt need your birthday, and dad will look at her and

smile and say she always asks me my birthday i want you to see i know what you

are gonna ask, i cant help but smile, and his sheepish grin too. she smiles

and with a little more patience this time, asks one more time. sigh, i just

dont know how to make it easier for him and want it to frustrate him less, and

yet get the doc/asst the info they need from him withoout anyome getting

antsy. thanks again patti, sharon m

a smile a day keeps the meanies away!!!

[Guest guest]

Sharon,

I totally unserstand where you are coming from. In all of my nursing

career I have seen this all to often. Worse yet is when Dr.s don't

even take the time to talk to them or even ask questions. It is as

though the only ones who want to take the time for those with

dementia are the loved ones. Patients with dementia are too slow and

to be personally honset with you they just don't understand them the

way the family does. I would suggest that you speak with your father

and ask him what he wants to ask the Neurologist or any Dr. for that

matter then do ask the Dr. yourself. It is so frustrating to answer

questions so unless it is something that the Dr. is testing him for

and your father does not object go ahead and spek for him. Some times

they are questioning them for a reason and those times he needs to

answer as it would be checking his cognition. At least this is the

way I feel. Right now I do alright with this, but there have been

times I didn't want to answer questions myslef for fear of getting

the words wrong and it coming out differently than what I mean. Ihope

this helps some. Specialists of all sorts it seems are just too

Busy....Hugs....Patti

> patti,

> i have a question, and i will put it bluntly as i cannot come up

with a

> tactful way of asking, i am sorry about that,

> frequently when i take daddy to doctor (70 years old) the doctor

(especially

> the neurologist) seems in a hurry and not wiling to wait for daddy

to answer

> his questions, i hate to speak for daddy but he tells me to go

ahead and

> answer for him, how do you feel and what do you suggest i say/do

to help daddy

> have as much input as possible for himself. thanks and sorry for

the bluntness

> hugs to you, sharon m

>

> a smile a day keeps the meanies away!!!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Sharon,

I can see me getting the same way. You know you are not going to be

able to answer it correctly so you try to make a joke of it so others

will laugh it off then I could laugh too. It would be a feeble

attempt to hide my disability. thanks for sharing....Hugs...Patti

> patti,

> thank you so much for taking the time to answer my qestion and for

the

> capability of answering it from both sides of the issue, as a

nurse and as a

> patient. dad expects me to answer all of his questions each time

and i usually do

> have a list or pad iwth me for notes to take /bring . the problem

then becomes

> when they ask dad his memory questions either he doesnt want to

answer them

> or he thinks he knows hte questions and doesnt let the doc ask them

without

> trying to answer, like " do you know what day your (doctors

appointment is) dad

> will say november 28, 1934, guessing the question was his birthday

and then

> the doc (usually assistant) says no listen and tries to ask

again, and dad

> again trying to be good, does the same thing so i step in and say

daddy listen

> to the question, she doesnt need your birthday, and dad will look

at her and

> smile and say she always asks me my birthday i want you to see i

know what you

> are gonna ask, i cant help but smile, and his sheepish grin too.

she smiles

> and with a little more patience this time, asks one more time.

sigh, i just

> dont know how to make it easier for him and want it to frustrate

him less, and

> yet get the doc/asst the info they need from him withoout anyome

getting

> antsy. thanks again patti, sharon m

>

> a smile a day keeps the meanies away!!!

>

>

>