Re: a bit of this, a bit of that from South Florida including a bit of venting

[Guest guest]

Carole i only know what Welbutrin(Zyban)yeah there 1 in the same it messsed me up big time,i quit the drug and it went away.I was taking it for smoking,just a warning cause it could be the drug be careful,has it started since the welbutrin?My family doctor acually has it on my medical records as alergic reaction.Take care. d.Canada

a bit of this, a bit of that from South Florida including a bit of venting

Hey Stilligans,

So much stuff going on - mostly in my head. Here goes:

Melt, I'm so sorry about your baby. I hope that with whatever decision you make, peace will eventually come for you. You're so kind to everyone on this loop, you shouldn't ever have any problems. At least in my world of CaroleLand, that's how it would be. Beth, my condolenses to you and your family. Take time with the grieving - it can only go as fast as it's supposed to go. Do NOT let anyone tell you, "aren't you over this yet", it happened to me and I thought something was wrong with ME, not with the person who told me such a stupid thing. Just remember that it takes what it takes and my prayers are with you. happy birthday to all the birthdays I've missed. Welcome to all the newbies. Terry, I read your frog description to my hubby and we laughed like crazy. I could just picture you in boots finding out how many species. I can't even imagine that many frogs and the noise they made. The Hurricane went past us for the most part. I'm half way between Ft. Lauderdal and Miami on the east coast. I live about 4 or 5 miles from the beaches. I was up late last night and we had quite a storm in the middle of the night, Lots of lightening and thunder. The rain was going sideways - very cool. The palm trees make the coolest noise when the wind is real strong. Today, the day was beautiful with the sun and lots of breezes that you don't normally get down here this time of year.

Kirk, I just can't beleive what that doctor did by cancelling with you at the last minute. As an FYI, many on this loop know that I worked for 18 years with Social Security processing Supplemental Security Income Disability claims. We never showed the recipients their medical file without reviewing it ourselves as many doctors had stamps that said something to the effect: "confidential information - do not show to patient" So, even though you'll be getting your medical records back, there may be some mysterious missing pages that could include the reason he didn't want to see you. Regardless, what a chicken sh-t that he didn't tell you himself! You may be right - life does suck! Now my stuff: My feet look like balloons. Does smoked meat contain a lot of salt? I bought a whole cooked smoked turkey to make sandwiches for lunch and I've been eating them for over a week. My ankels are equally swollen. And it really hurts bad! The turkey is gone, so if my suspicions are correct, hopefully it will get better. I'm drinking water like crazy and nothing. I take stuff for this already, but apparently something else must be going on. Life is a bit stressful lately. Al got another new job a few months back and hates it already. This is the 8th job in less than 3 years. He's quit all of them because he didn't like them. I've had 2 during that time, but I quit for a better job. I know he has fibro and I'm trying to be understanding. And I had been. But it's getting harder. He's incredibly understanding with my illness and always wants me to stay home when I push myself to go to work sick. And I feel so guilty for being judgemental about his job problems. And because he's hating his job right now and walks around like "Life sucks" all the time, it has put a bit of a crimp on our otherwise wonderful marriage. He's so depressed. He's on anti-depressents (wellbutrin - a new one for him) but it's not working too well. He's suicidal but won't do anything he says cuz I'd probably haunt him forever if he did.

It isn't like we're fighting, its more like Al's miserable and keeps to himself and I'm miserable and keep to myself. And being in a tiny apartment, that gets awkward. Plus I really need him to keep me going - he's usually such a life cheerleader for me. I actually look forward to going to work just so I can be around people who aren't so depressed. I try so hard to stay optimistic. I mean, I'm working full time and many of you are on disability - I have much to be thankful for, to be grateful for. I have a place to live, I have health insurance, an old car that just keeps running with lots of care. But with Al's depression, it becomes contagious and I start thinking about all the things I no longer have cuz of this stupid illness. Like I've isolated from family and friends - how many times can you explain to the same people the mess of being 50ish and feeling like you're 100 with no money and lots of medical bills. How boring is it when people ask what's happening and all that happens is work, doctors, ebay work and doing nothing cuz I have no energy left. I told my adult nephew I wanted to send him the spoons story when he said I was becoming boring, but he said it sounded too depressing! I was a party animal younger and it's gone. We're rarely out after dark anymo I'm also having a problem with my health insurance. Currently I pay over $600 per month for it under my old job - cobra'd. It's ending soon, so I've been checking out other programs. They're running over $1500 for equal or worse coverage because Al and I turned over 50. I have no health insurance thru work as I'm supposedly an independent contractor. I cannot afford over $1500 plus huge deductibles and don't know what todo. Maybe I should get a little job where I get group policies. I hate to quit my job cuz I only work 6.5 hours/day and some weeks I do incredibly well on commission for only 30 hours per week. Plus it leaves me time to work ebay in the afternoon and evening. I can't really budget Al's income as it doesn't always last very long. Plus my boss is very understanding about the stills. I don't relish trying to find new insurance and Al leaves that work up to me. Not to mention the fact that when I change policies I may have t So, are any of you still with me????? I guess I'm done venting - for tonight anyway. Seems like lots of us are up tonight, lots of emails still coming. G-d bless you all and thank G-d for YOU! Thank you so much for offering me a place to vent when no one else wants to listen to me anymore. I love you guys.

Love Carole in Hollywood Florida

Visit the Still's Disease Message Boardhttp://disc.server.com/Indices/148599.htmlThe materials and information contained in this message are not intended to replace the services of a trained health professional or to be a substitute for medical advice of physicians and/or other health care professionals. The International Still's Disease Foundation is not engaged in rendering medical or professional medical services. You should consult your physician on specific medical questions, particularly in matters requiring diagnosis or medical attention. The International Still's Disease Foundation makes no representations or warranties with respect to any treatment, action, application, medication or preparation by any person following the information offered or provided within this support form. ion by any person following the information offered or provided within this support form.

[Guest guest]

Hi Carole,

I'm a newbie to the group and haven't met you yet, but your email

struck me and I just wanted you to know I am thinking about you. I

too have been going through a bout lately of thinking about the old

me and the fact that I am 31, feel 81, the no money, medical bills,

blah, blah, blah, stay home, etc. The story we all have.

I'm sorry to hear about your husband. I hope he finds something to

help perk him up. Does he go to a support group for fibro or go to

counseling?

Here's to having a better day,

[Guest guest]

Carole,

I'm not sure we've ever met online, but I'm Peggy from Quakertown, PA. I read your email and felt like I needed to respond. I want you to know you are not alone in your struggle. I'm experiencing so many of the same feelings you have described. As I sit here I've just taken a break from packing because we (my husband and son, 11) are off on our vacation. Usually this would be an exciting time, but it is different this year because of my disease. I had been in remisson (on medication but no major flare ups) for the last six years. In March that all changed and it still hasn't gotten much better. Of course it was right around the time I turned 40!! What great timing to turn 40 and feel 80 all at the same time LOL. My family's favorite thing to do (after playing ice hockey, which of course I can't do anymore) is to ride roller coasters. Well our trip is planned to go to Cedar Point Amusement Park in Ohio. This is a trip I always look forward to and today I'm aprehensive about going. I'm not sure how much I will be able to do with my family before the dragon knocks me down. It is so depressing to not be able to do things that normal families can do - and how do you explain to an 11 year old that this summer mommy just didn't feel well and we couldn't do anything fun!!! I fell terrible disappointing him all the time because I just can't do things.

Sorry to ramble. Anyway, know that you are in my thoughts and I am hoping for the best for you and all our friends here on Stilligans Island. I can't thank the members of this group enough for the information and support that they provide. As frustrated as I get, at least I know I am not alone and there are people who really understand what I am going through.

Back to packing. We leave tomorrow morning. I look forward to catching up with all the posts when I return.

To all - be well and pain free.

Hugs.

Peggy

a bit of this, a bit of that from South Florida including a bit of venting

Hey Stilligans,

So much stuff going on - mostly in my head. Here goes:

Melt, I'm so sorry about your baby. I hope that with whatever decision you make, peace will eventually come for you. You're so kind to everyone on this loop, you shouldn't ever have any problems. At least in my world of CaroleLand, that's how it would be. Beth, my condolenses to you and your family. Take time with the grieving - it can only go as fast as it's supposed to go. Do NOT let anyone tell you, "aren't you over this yet", it happened to me and I thought something was wrong with ME, not with the person who told me such a stupid thing. Just remember that it takes what it takes and my prayers are with you. happy birthday to all the birthdays I've missed. Welcome to all the newbies. Terry, I read your frog description to my hubby and we laughed like crazy. I could just picture you in boots finding out how many species. I can't even imagine that many frogs and the noise they made. The Hurricane went past us for the most part. I'm half way between Ft. Lauderdal and Miami on the east coast. I live about 4 or 5 miles from the beaches. I was up late last night and we had quite a storm in the middle of the night, Lots of lightening and thunder. The rain was going sideways - very cool. The palm trees make the coolest noise when the wind is real strong. Today, the day was beautiful with the sun and lots of breezes that you don't normally get down here this time of year.

Kirk, I just can't beleive what that doctor did by cancelling with you at the last minute. As an FYI, many on this loop know that I worked for 18 years with Social Security processing Supplemental Security Income Disability claims. We never showed the recipients their medical file without reviewing it ourselves as many doctors had stamps that said something to the effect: "confidential information - do not show to patient" So, even though you'll be getting your medical records back, there may be some mysterious missing pages that could include the reason he didn't want to see you. Regardless, what a chicken sh-t that he didn't tell you himself! You may be right - life does suck! Now my stuff: My feet look like balloons. Does smoked meat contain a lot of salt? I bought a whole cooked smoked turkey to make sandwiches for lunch and I've been eating them for over a week. My ankels are equally swollen. And it really hurts bad! The turkey is gone, so if my suspicions are correct, hopefully it will get better. I'm drinking water like crazy and nothing. I take stuff for this already, but apparently something else must be going on. Life is a bit stressful lately. Al got another new job a few months back and hates it already. This is the 8th job in less than 3 years. He's quit all of them because he didn't like them. I've had 2 during that time, but I quit for a better job. I know he has fibro and I'm trying to be understanding. And I had been. But it's getting harder. He's incredibly understanding with my illness and always wants me to stay home when I push myself to go to work sick. And I feel so guilty for being judgemental about his job problems. And because he's hating his job right now and walks around like "Life sucks" all the time, it has put a bit of a crimp on our otherwise wonderful marriage. He's so depressed. He's on anti-depressents (wellbutrin - a new one for him) but it's not working too well. He's suicidal but won't do anything he says cuz I'd probably haunt him forever if he did.

It isn't like we're fighting, its more like Al's miserable and keeps to himself and I'm miserable and keep to myself. And being in a tiny apartment, that gets awkward. Plus I really need him to keep me going - he's usually such a life cheerleader for me. I actually look forward to going to work just so I can be around people who aren't so depressed. I try so hard to stay optimistic. I mean, I'm working full time and many of you are on disability - I have much to be thankful for, to be grateful for. I have a place to live, I have health insurance, an old car that just keeps running with lots of care. But with Al's depression, it becomes contagious and I start thinking about all the things I no longer have cuz of this stupid illness. Like I've isolated from family and friends - how many times can you explain to the same people the mess of being 50ish and feeling like you're 100 with no money and lots of medical bills. How boring is it when people ask what's happening and all that happens is work, doctors, ebay work and doing nothing cuz I have no energy left. I told my adult nephew I wanted to send him the spoons story when he said I was becoming boring, but he said it sounded too depressing! I was a party animal younger and it's gone. We're rarely out after dark anymore. So those people who used to love all my entertaining stories find these stories hard to deal with and I can't do fluff anymore. I'm also having a problem with my health insurance. Currently I pay over $600 per month for it under my old job - cobra'd. It's ending soon, so I've been checking out other programs. They're running over $1500 for equal or worse coverage because Al and I turned over 50. I have no health insurance thru work as I'm supposedly an independent contractor. I cannot afford over $1500 plus huge deductibles and don't know what todo. Maybe I should get a little job where I get group policies. I hate to quit my job cuz I only work 6.5 hours/day and some weeks I do incredibly well on commission for only 30 hours per week. Plus it leaves me time to work ebay in the afternoon and evening. I can't really budget Al's income as it doesn't always last very long. Plus my boss is very understanding about the stills. I don't relish trying to find new insurance and Al leaves that work up to me. Not to mention the fact that when I change policies I may have to change rhuemy's. And having done that once already, I HATE doctor shopping.

So, are any of you still with me????? I guess I'm done venting - for tonight anyway. Seems like lots of us are up tonight, lots of emails still coming. G-d bless you all and thank G-d for YOU! Thank you so much for offering me a place to vent when no one else wants to listen to me anymore. I love you guys.

Love Carole in Hollywood Florida

Visit the Still's Disease Message Boardhttp://disc.server.com/Indices/148599.htmlThe materials and information contained in this message are not intended to replace the services of a trained health professional or to be a substitute for medical advice of physicians and/or other health care professionals. The International Still's Disease Foundation is not engaged in rendering medical or professional medical services. You should consult your physician on specific medical questions, particularly in matters requiring diagnosis or medical attention. The International Still's Disease Foundation makes no representations or warranties with respect to any treatment, action, application, medication or preparation by any person following the information offered or provided within this support form. ion by any person following the information offered or provided within this support form.