Re: SPANKING

[Guest guest]

You cannot spank a child with an ASD into being normal and yes, I have

spanked. My son understands it, but not all children on the spectrum

will be able to. There is a good article online about normalization at

http://www.coping.org/specialneeds/normaliz.htm

Tonya

SPANKING

MY EX SAIDS WE NEED TO TX. LIKE A REG. CHILD SO SHE WILL BE COME A

REG. CHILD.CAN OR IS THERE INFORMATION OUT THERE I CAN PASS ON TO HER

SO I DON'T HAVE TO USE OTHER MEANS TO GET HER TO STOP. THANKS

[Guest guest]

We do not spank our children. We use the Dr. Stratton book called "The INcredible Years ages 3-8" However, DOrian actually enjoys spanking so it doesn't help him and time outs are treats and taking away toys he'll just orally or visually stim. So we take away privilages. He feeds the cat twice a day and he thinks it's a game so we don't let him do that! Although my NT child thinks that it's a privalige to not feed the cat! I go crazy just thinking of ways to punish my children!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We actually don't use a lot of punishment. We try to ignore the bad behavior and focus with lots of praise on the good behavior. Ignoring anything will make it go away (I know loose and broad statement but for most of things it's true I guess but I'm not the psychologist) ANyhow, if you ignore quiet play it goes away if you ignore bad play and reward good play the play gets better. We use A LOT of redirection, but by no means are we perfect or good parents! Most of the time it's a hit and miss. SOrry that i'm not much help perhaps someone here who's a therapist could help bc they probably have much more training on this!

alena SPANKINGTo: AutismBehaviorProblems > MY EX SAIDS WE NEED TO TX. LIKE A REG. CHILD SO SHE WILL BE > COME A > REG. CHILD.CAN OR IS THERE INFORMATION OUT THERE I CAN PASS ON > TO HER > SO I DON'T HAVE TO USE OTHER MEANS TO GET HER TO STOP. THANKS> >

[Guest guest]

Well, to begin with, 'regular' children don't need to be spanked either!

R

[Guest guest]

Wow. I don't know where to begin. First, positive punishment (spanking)

should be the LAST resort as a consequence for inappropriate behavior.

With that, doing so isn't going to take the autism away. Autism is a

collection of various behaviors and defecits, which require

individualization in order to determine what is the most effective way

to handle them. Spanking isn't going to fix it all, nor is it the best

way to approach things in general-especially with children with Autism

or other Developmental Delays.

~Connu

>

> MY EX SAIDS WE NEED TO TX. LIKE A REG. CHILD SO SHE WILL BE COME A

> REG. CHILD.CAN OR IS THERE INFORMATION OUT THERE I CAN PASS ON TO

HER

> SO I DON'T HAVE TO USE OTHER MEANS TO GET HER TO STOP. THANKS

>

[Guest guest]

i worn my son 8yo that if he doesn't strighten up i will take him to the bathroom and swat him but i don't have to do it often that some times works great he has gotten spanked a school once but that was after we tried everything from bribbing him to stickers coloring sheets nothing was working so i talk to his princlepal and we sat down with him and told him that if he hit at school again he was going to get paddle and we showed him the paddle he hit the next day they took him down paddled him then called me to tell me because i told them to do it like that i asked him later what happened at school today and he said NO paddle no paddle just took that once and that was after alot of bribbing. leigh mommyto4grls wrote: Wow. I don't know where to begin. First, positive punishment (spanking)should be the LAST resort as a consequence for inappropriate behavior. With that, doing so isn't going to take the autism away. Autism is a collection of various behaviors and defecits, which require individualization in order to determine what is the most effective way to handle them. Spanking isn't going to fix it all, nor is it the best way to approach things in general-especially with children with Autism or other Developmental Delays.~Connu>> MY EX SAIDS WE NEED TO TX. LIKE A REG. CHILD SO SHE WILL BE COME A > REG. CHILD.CAN OR IS THERE INFORMATION OUT THERE I CAN PASS ON TO HER > SO I DON'T HAVE TO USE OTHER MEANS TO GET HER TO STOP. THANKS>

Bored stiff? Loosen up...Download and play hundreds of games for free on Yahoo! Games.

[Guest guest]

No school should ever spank a child especially with a paddle nor should you. There are things called time out. Do you have help at home? Just my opinion but I would never spank a child.

Re: Re: SPANKING

i worn my son 8yo that if he doesn't strighten up i will take him to the bathroom and swat him but i don't have to do it often that some times works great he has gotten spanked a school once but that was after we tried everything from bribbing him to stickers coloring sheets nothing was working so i talk to his princlepal and we sat down with him and told him that if he hit at school again he was going to get paddle and we showed him the paddle he hit the next day they took him down paddled him then called me to tell me because i told them to do it like that i asked him later what happened at school today and he said NO paddle no paddle just took that once and that was after alot of bribbing.

leigh mommyto4grls <craaymakers@ cdsoc.org> wrote:

Wow. I don't know where to begin. First, positive punishment (spanking)should be the LAST resort as a consequence for inappropriate behavior. With that, doing so isn't going to take the autism away. Autism is a collection of various behaviors and defecits, which require individualization in order to determine what is the most effective way to handle them. Spanking isn't going to fix it all, nor is it the best way to approach things in general-especially with children with Autism or other Developmental Delays.~Connu>> MY EX SAIDS WE NEED TO TX. LIKE A REG. CHILD SO SHE WILL BE COME A > REG. CHILD.CAN OR IS THERE INFORMATION OUT THERE I CAN PASS ON TO HER > SO I DON'T HAVE TO USE OTHER MEANS TO GET HER TO STOP.

THANKS>

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[Guest guest]

No school should ever spank a child especially with a paddle nor should you. There are things called time out. Do you have help at home? Just my opinion but I would never spank a child.

Re: Re: SPANKING

i worn my son 8yo that if he doesn't strighten up i will take him to the bathroom and swat him but i don't have to do it often that some times works great he has gotten spanked a school once but that was after we tried everything from bribbing him to stickers coloring sheets nothing was working so i talk to his princlepal and we sat down with him and told him that if he hit at school again he was going to get paddle and we showed him the paddle he hit the next day they took him down paddled him then called me to tell me because i told them to do it like that i asked him later what happened at school today and he said NO paddle no paddle just took that once and that was after alot of bribbing.

leigh mommyto4grls <craaymakers@ cdsoc.org> wrote:

Wow. I don't know where to begin. First, positive punishment (spanking)should be the LAST resort as a consequence for inappropriate behavior. With that, doing so isn't going to take the autism away. Autism is a collection of various behaviors and defecits, which require individualization in order to determine what is the most effective way to handle them. Spanking isn't going to fix it all, nor is it the best way to approach things in general-especially with children with Autism or other Developmental Delays.~Connu>> MY EX SAIDS WE NEED TO TX. LIKE A REG. CHILD SO SHE WILL BE COME A > REG. CHILD.CAN OR IS THERE INFORMATION OUT THERE I CAN PASS ON TO HER > SO I DON'T HAVE TO USE OTHER MEANS TO GET HER TO STOP.

THANKS>

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[Guest guest]

Wow you must have a good school system to actually believe in helping you like this. I actually believe in spanking. (I know most people here are going to have a heart attack!) lol BUt I look at it like when we are a child we touch something hot and it hurt so we didnt touch fire again it's the same premise as spanking. However, our son doesn't not understand the concept of spanking and we figured out that he actually enjoys the sensory effect gained from the spanking. Time outs don't work either. (not bc they are not correctly enforced but bc Dorian enjoys the time to stim) I also felt like if I could not spank Dorian then I couldn't spank Selena, so we don't spank. Where do you live at that they allow spanking in school?

Good luck

alena Re: Re: SPANKINGTo: AutismBehaviorProblems > i worn my son 8yo that if he doesn't strighten up i will take > him to the bathroom and swat him but i don't have to do it often > that some times works great he has gotten spanked a school once > but that was after we tried everything from bribbing him to > stickers coloring sheets nothing was working so i talk to his > princlepal and we sat down with him and told him that if he hit > at school again he was going to get paddle and we showed him > the paddle he hit the next day they took him down paddled him > then called me to tell me because i told them to do it like that > i asked him later what happened at school today and he said > NO paddle no paddle just took that once and that was after alot > of bribbing.> leigh > > mommyto4grls wrote:> Wow. I don't know where to begin. First, positive > punishment (spanking)> should be the LAST resort as a consequence for inappropriate > behavior. > With that, doing so isn't going to take the autism away. Autism > is a > collection of various behaviors and defecits, which require > individualization in order to determine what is the most > effective way > to handle them. Spanking isn't going to fix it all, nor is it > the best > way to approach things in general-especially with children with > Autism > or other Developmental Delays.> ~Connu> > >> > MY EX SAIDS WE NEED TO TX. LIKE A REG. CHILD SO SHE WILL BE > COME A > > REG. CHILD.CAN OR IS THERE INFORMATION OUT THERE I CAN PASS ON > TO > HER > > SO I DON'T HAVE TO USE OTHER MEANS TO GET HER TO STOP. THANKS> >> > > > > > > ---------------------------------> Bored stiff? Loosen up...> Download and play hundreds of games for free on Yahoo! Games.

[Guest guest]

they tried EVERYTHING that was a last resort and it work and i gave them premission to do it. if it need to be done he was hitting friend every day we tried stickers doloring sheets everything with that yes i have help a swat never hurt me thank you Lana Waalkes wrote: No school should ever spank a

child especially with a paddle nor should you. There are things called time out. Do you have help at home? Just my opinion but I would never spank a child. Re: Re: SPANKING i worn my son 8yo that if he doesn't strighten up i will take him to the bathroom and swat him but i don't have to do it often that some times works great he has gotten spanked a school once but that was after we tried everything from bribbing him to stickers coloring sheets nothing was working so i talk to his princlepal and we sat down with him and told him that if he hit at school again he was going to get paddle and we showed

him the paddle he hit the next day they took him down paddled him then called me to tell me because i told them to do it like that i asked him later what happened at school today and he said NO paddle no paddle just took that once and that was after alot of bribbing. leigh mommyto4grls <craaymakers@ cdsoc.org> wrote: Wow. I don't know where to begin. First, positive punishment (spanking)should be the LAST resort as a consequence for inappropriate behavior. With that, doing so isn't going to take the autism away. Autism is a collection of various behaviors and defecits, which require individualization in order to determine what is the most effective way to handle them. Spanking isn't going to fix it all, nor is it the best way to approach things in general-especially with children with

Autism or other Developmental Delays.~Connu>> MY EX SAIDS WE NEED TO TX. LIKE A REG. CHILD SO SHE WILL BE COME A > REG. CHILD.CAN OR IS THERE INFORMATION OUT THERE I CAN PASS ON TO HER > SO I DON'T HAVE TO USE OTHER MEANS TO GET HER TO STOP. THANKS> Bored stiff? Loosen up...Download and play hundreds of games for free on Yahoo! Games. Now that's room service! Choose from over 150,000 hotels in 45,000 destinations on Yahoo! Travel to find your fit.

Don't get soaked. Take a quick peek at the forecast with theYahoo! Search weather shortcut.

[Guest guest]

I have spanked my son a few times. But one time he looked at me and said "mom, hitting's bad!" Well, he said that because that's what I had told him! And then here I was hitting him! I got a wake up call there! Autistic's especially cannot understand the double standard, so I never spank my son anymore. I try to be honest with him about everything. For punishment I take away privileges like video games and tv. And always re-inforce the good behavior. It seems to work better than punishing the bad.

[Guest guest]

>

> I have spanked my son a few times. But one time he looked at me and

said " mom, hitting's bad! " Well, he said that because that's what I

had told him! And then here I was hitting him! I got a wake up call

there! Autistic's especially cannot understand the double standard,

so I never spank my son anymore. I try to be honest with him about

everything. For punishment I take away privileges like video games

and tv. And always re-inforce the good behavior. It seems to work

better than punishing the bad.

>

That is about the same thing that happen to me with julie,I don't

unstand my ex. is adopted and i believe she has loss the bond

with her and i beleive me to. I read that 60-80% of couples that have

childern with autism and being adopted,i wish i had some of this

information before.I might have been able to save my marriage.JUlie

is so loving and careing i give thanks for every day i have her and i

would trade her for the world.sometimes it is hard for me to think

about starting over. Thanks its nice to get things off your chest

every now and than.smokediver(and yes i'm a firefighter/paramedic)

[Guest guest]

Texas allows spanking in the schools. My son’s

school uses passive consent. They

send out a form at the first of the year and if you don’t

return it denying permission, it is considered consent to spank.

Tonya

Re: Re:

SPANKING

Wow you must have a good school system to actually believe in helping you like

this. I actually believe in spanking. (I know most people here are

going to have a heart attack!) lol BUt I look at it like when we are a

child we touch something hot and it hurt so we didnt touch fire again it's the

same premise as spanking. However, our son doesn't not understand the concept

of spanking and we figured out that he actually enjoys the sensory effect

gained from the spanking. Time outs don't work either. (not bc they

are not correctly enforced but bc Dorian enjoys the time to stim) I also

felt like if I could not spank Dorian then I couldn't spank Selena, so we don't

spank. Where do you live at that they allow spanking in

school?

Good luck

alena

Re: Re: SPANKING

To: AutismBehaviorProblems

> i worn my son 8yo that if he doesn't strighten up i will take

> him to the bathroom and swat him but i don't have to do it often

> that some times works great he has gotten spanked a school once

> but that was after we tried everything from bribbing him to

> stickers coloring sheets nothing was working so i talk to his

> princlepal and we sat down with him and told him that if he hit

> at school again he was going to get paddle and we showed him

> the paddle he hit the next day they took him down paddled him

> then called me to tell me because i told them to do it like that

> i asked him later what happened at school today and he said

> NO paddle no paddle just took that once and that was after alot

> of bribbing.

> leigh

>

> mommyto4grls wrote:

> Wow. I don't know where to begin. First, positive

> punishment (spanking)

> should be the LAST resort as a consequence for inappropriate

> behavior.

> With that, doing so isn't going to take the autism away. Autism

> is a

> collection of various behaviors and defecits, which require

> individualization in order to determine what is the most

> effective way

> to handle them. Spanking isn't going to fix it all, nor is it

> the best

> way to approach things in general-especially with children with

> Autism

> or other Developmental Delays.

> ~Connu

>

> >

> > MY EX SAIDS WE NEED TO TX. LIKE A REG. CHILD SO SHE WILL BE

> COME A

> > REG. CHILD.CAN OR IS THERE INFORMATION OUT THERE I CAN PASS ON

> TO

> HER

> > SO I DON'T HAVE TO USE OTHER MEANS TO GET HER TO STOP. THANKS

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Bored stiff? Loosen up...

> Download and play hundreds of games for free on Yahoo! Games.

[Guest guest]

I'm in Texas; where in Texas are you, Tonya? Pat K************************************** AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free from AOL at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

I was once told by a sixty yr old lady at Wal-Mart that my son 'Just needed a good spanking and he'd behave'. My reply to her was 'Exactly how many times do you think I should hit him to cure the Autism?' She turned red and walked away.

ASD kids in general don't get it about spanking. It's hard enough for them to make connections between actions, events, consequences, etc. With the sensory issues so many have -it's just another part of their sensory diet. I have spanked my son in the past, but gave up on it as an effective tool. Also, he started having a big problem with biting, hitting, kicking, and defiance. How can I hit him while saying 'You don't hit!'? I mean he's autistic, not stupid. He is in a structured teaching class with 4 autistic boys and they Do Not Spank. I have been at the same school for a while and have seen great improvements in formerly uncontrollable kids through the consistent therapeutic efforts of the teachers. It just takes a lot more time with an autistic child than it does with an NT child. I find the comment about turning her into a 'normal' child with spanking very disturbing. Sounds like a big case of denial and personal shame. This girl needs acceptance and love and a big paddle for the parents.

In Hope,

Shauna> > >> > > MY EX SAIDS WE NEED TO TX. LIKE A REG. CHILD SO SHE WILL BE > > COME A > > > REG. CHILD.CAN OR IS THERE INFORMATION OUT THERE I CAN PASS ON > > TO > > HER > > > SO I DON'T HAVE TO USE OTHER MEANS TO GET HER TO STOP. THANKS> > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > ---------------------------------> > Bored stiff? Loosen up...> > Download and play hundreds of games for free on Yahoo! Games.>

[Guest guest]

We

are farmers between Idalou and Lubbock.

Where are you?

Tonya

Re: Re:

SPANKING

I'm in Texas; where in Texas are

you, Tonya? Pat K

**************************************

AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free from AOL

at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

Wow, what a great response!! I wish I could think that fast. LOL, Pat K************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

tonya, I am in Dallas, but my oldest and youngest daughters were born in Lubbock. What kind of resources are there for autistic children in your area? Pat K************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

Not a lot. There is SPAN (South

Plains Autism Network) who has monthly information meetings during the school

year. There is also the Burkhart Center at TTU. Both have

lending libraries. ESC-17 is

excellent about parents attending the trainings they host. Other than that little bit, the only

other support is the schools and we all know what that is like in TX!!

Tonya

Re: Re:

SPANKING

tonya, I am in Dallas, but my oldest

and youngest daughters were born in Lubbock. What kind of resources are

there for autistic children in your area? Pat K

**************************************

See what's free at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

So, Tonya, what kind of help do you get? Do you get any "class" money? Karac gets Equest paid for, music therapy paid for, and my daughter-in-law gets someone to come to the house on Saturdays and Sundays to clean the house. It also pays for him to go to Camp Summit three times a year. Do you get any kind of respite? Pat K************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

The

only help I get is from family. Both my mother

and mother-in-law are great support and good to take the kids. We don’t

get CLASS or anything else yet. My son with autism is almost 13 and I have another son with

out diagnosed disabilities who is almost 15. 15 year old does have severe teenage-itis

though and thinks mom is an idiot but then don’t they all! J I escape the kids 2-3

times a year, but it’s all autism related when I

do. I’ve

gone to the state conference the last two years and love it. Not so much for the information, but for

visiting with friends I’ve made. I also escape

by serving on committees. Have been

on 3 so far and have applied for the TEA Special Ed

Continuing Advisory Committee. The

governor’s office has been checking my

references, so keep your fingers crossed!

Tonya

thettler@...

Re: Re:

SPANKING

So, Tonya, what kind of help do you

get? Do you get any " class " money? Karac gets Equest paid for,

music therapy paid for, and my daughter-in-law gets someone to come to the

house on Saturdays and Sundays to clean the house. It also pays for him

to go to Camp Summit three times a year. Do you get any kind of respite?

Pat K

**************************************

See what's free at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

Tonya, I know what you mean about teenageitis. I also have karac's teenage sister living with me, and she is a lot more stressful than Karac. She graduate this May and will be going off to college Yea!! LOL, Pat K************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

Just wondering what is CLASS?

[Guest guest]

I'm not really sure what Class is; I just know that my daughter-in-law was on a waiting list for it for several years before she got it for Karac. I think it may be state money for autistic kids. It basicly pays for anything that helps Karac, i.e. Equest, respite, special needs camp, music therapy, swimming lessons, etc. It even pays me for after school care. Isn't that something? I'm even paid for taking care of my own grandchild!! However, the money I get just helps pay for his clothes, gymnastics, and the therapists I hire to work with him. Pat K************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

Thanks for explaining Class!! Pat K************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

It’s a Medicaid waiver program available in Texas.

http://www.dads.state.tx.us/providers/waiver_comparisons/class_mdcp.html

Tonya

RE: Re:

SPANKING

Just wondering what is CLASS?