Re: Re: Does she or doesn't she ---takecranberrycapsules, ...

[Guest guest]

Donna noted:

Do you know a DPA is not even enforceable if your Mom can understand and

does not want it used? Your sister would have to take her in to court and

have her deemed incompetent.

*************************

Oh, I know that!!! At this point, it might be easier to prove incompetence

than it would have been at the time I had my mom sign several homemade

release of medical information forms - one for the original diagnosing

neurologist and one for our regular primary doctor. The fact is, my mom

would know what she was signing (at least I am pretty sure that would be the

case) but since she is a lot worse now, it might be harder to prove she is

compentent. A further complication is the fact that my mom thinks my sister

does know a lot and is happy to have her in charge!

Anyway, for now I am holding off on doing anything that would completely

destroy our family. I can manage. I have already decided that I will

likely just go ahead and make my mom's physical exam appointment for

December and tell my sister she has to keep the appointment. If she

reschedules but for January, I will grit my teeth and say nothing. If she

cancels the appointment outright - well - then I will have to decide if I do

want to start a fight with my sister. I actually hope I never have to do so

because in truth, she IS an excellent lawyer. Now, she is a labor lawyer -

works for a number of unions - but she is intelligent (about legal things

and many other things, too -just not dementia!) but it is possible that a

court fight would not produce a desired outcome.

Oh well. . .

carol

[Guest guest]

Donna noted:

Do you know a DPA is not even enforceable if your Mom can understand and

does not want it used? Your sister would have to take her in to court and

have her deemed incompetent.

*************************

Oh, I know that!!! At this point, it might be easier to prove incompetence

than it would have been at the time I had my mom sign several homemade

release of medical information forms - one for the original diagnosing

neurologist and one for our regular primary doctor. The fact is, my mom

would know what she was signing (at least I am pretty sure that would be the

case) but since she is a lot worse now, it might be harder to prove she is

compentent. A further complication is the fact that my mom thinks my sister

does know a lot and is happy to have her in charge!

Anyway, for now I am holding off on doing anything that would completely

destroy our family. I can manage. I have already decided that I will

likely just go ahead and make my mom's physical exam appointment for

December and tell my sister she has to keep the appointment. If she

reschedules but for January, I will grit my teeth and say nothing. If she

cancels the appointment outright - well - then I will have to decide if I do

want to start a fight with my sister. I actually hope I never have to do so

because in truth, she IS an excellent lawyer. Now, she is a labor lawyer -

works for a number of unions - but she is intelligent (about legal things

and many other things, too -just not dementia!) but it is possible that a

court fight would not produce a desired outcome.

Oh well. . .

carol

[Guest guest]

Kath noted:

In other words, if you go ahead and make the appointment, and she doesn't

change it GREAT...but if you don't make the appointment then there is no way

that she will get to the doctor's.

*********************

And so I AM going to make an appointment - since it will be for December, I

have a little breathing room!!! I am also going to have a discussion with

our doctor about my feeling that it would be very helpful for my mom to see

a specialist - at least occasionally. My hopes were buoyed at the beginning

of last summer when my sister said my mom would be seeing the neurologist

with whom our doctor consults but then my sister never got around to making

an appointment and my mom ended up in the hospital. Moreover, it seems the

only reason my mother would have seen the neurologist was to see if she had

PD and not to do any checking vis a vis her dementia. My mom got tested for

PD in the hospital so I am sure my sister feels that is no need to see

another neurologist ever again. Hopefully I can convince our doctor

otherwise!!!!

Thanks!

carol

[Guest guest]

Hi Carol

I just wanted to quote someone on here (but don't remember who said it first)

" we are only responsible for the effort not the outcome. "

In other words, if you go ahead and make the appointment, and she doesn't change

it GREAT...but if you don't make the appointment then there is no way that she

will get to the doctor's. Right?

If it causes a fight and a major battle...well you can rest assured that you did

everything in your power that you could...

Kath in Toronto

cbhillman wrote:

Donna noted:

Do you know a DPA is not even enforceable if your Mom can understand and

does not want it used? Your sister would have to take her in to court and

have her deemed incompetent.

*************************

Oh, I know that!!! At this point, it might be easier to prove incompetence

than it would have been at the time I had my mom sign several homemade

release of medical information forms - one for the original diagnosing

neurologist and one for our regular primary doctor. The fact is, my mom

would know what she was signing (at least I am pretty sure that would be the

case) but since she is a lot worse now, it might be harder to prove she is

compentent. A further complication is the fact that my mom thinks my sister

does know a lot and is happy to have her in charge!

Anyway, for now I am holding off on doing anything that would completely

destroy our family. I can manage. I have already decided that I will

likely just go ahead and make my mom's physical exam appointment for

December and tell my sister she has to keep the appointment. If she

reschedules but for January, I will grit my teeth and say nothing. If she

cancels the appointment outright - well - then I will have to decide if I do

want to start a fight with my sister. I actually hope I never have to do so

because in truth, she IS an excellent lawyer. Now, she is a labor lawyer -

works for a number of unions - but she is intelligent (about legal things

and many other things, too -just not dementia!) but it is possible that a

court fight would not produce a desired outcome.

Oh well. . .

carol

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