Hello

[Guest guest]

Dear Sue,

I really feel for the position you are in. My dad has had Parkinson's for 10

years and in January started hallucinating and dementia came on very rapidly.

(His symptoms are just like LBD, but his Neurologist says PD dementia is

different.) My Mom was in denial for months. Dad was placed in a NH because

mom needed help, but by March he was in a dementia home. Mom didn't like to

visit him and when she did, she was very distant. It was painful for me to

watch them because dad missed her very much. I was the regular visitor and his

advocate with the staff, because mom wouldn't do it.

Then I had to be away for a month and mom totally changed. She visits dad every

day for two or three hours and the love between them has become very evident.

It happened when my husband had a heart attack and I had to be with him. When I

wasn't there all the time, mom was able to step in. I'm wondering if she felt

inadequate and it had just been easier for her to let me be the main caregiver.

She also needed to rest and get her strength back. Living 24/7 with someone

that isn't well is both physically and emotionally exhausting. Your mom may

need more help than you and your brother can give.

I hope it doesn't take a crisis in your life, but I really feel that my mom

would still be distant if I was the main caregiver. It may help if you can take

time away from the caregiver position and make suggestions about what your mom

can do when you can't be there. I know every situation is different and this

may not be any help at all. It's also important that you be there for your mom.

Encourage her every chance you get. She's probably very lonely and scared.

Hopefully over time she will be able to accept reality. You will also be able

to share with her things you learn from this site that may help.

I'm sorry that you had to become a member of this group, but we welcome you with

open arms. I have learned so much from everyone here. There are a lot of us

that can relate to what you are going through.

in Washington State

hello

i'm new to this group. my dad was finally diagnosed with lbd in feb 2005. we

had been trying for over three years to get a correct diagnosis. finally we

took

him to the mayo clinic in rochester, mn and the doctors there immediately

recognized he had lbd.

i just moved from new york city to minneapolis to be near him and be able to

spend time with him. my brother and i are a good team in taking care of things

and are a good support system for each other.

my mom is not taking things well. she was really in denial, but after the mayo

clinic appt, she had to face that something really is wrong. she refuses help,

won't go to a support group. she gets easily frustrated with my dad and takes

it

out on him. if i talk to her about her behavior she gets very angry and lashes

out at me. i can't talk to her about anything real. i'm worried and i don't

know

what to do. any suggestions?

thank you for listening.

sue shea

Welcome to LBDcaregivers.

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