Re: back to school

[Guest guest]

Sondra,

I hope things get better for you soon. I know people who have similar surgeries

and it took them a few weeks to fully recover. I hope you feel better very soon.

I haven't been able to do much online lately because of getting Cali back to

school. Then this past week she only went to school one day since she was sick.

The flu is going around bad right now and Cali, her teacher, my brother, my

sister-in-law, and mother all got sick. Than to make things worse, my son, age

2, snuck in a cabinet and ingested some of Cali's Abilify. Wednesday night he

had to spend the night in ICU and Thursday night he had to stay in a regular

pediatric room. He slept for almost 24 hours straight and had to be on

IV fluids sine he wouldn't eat or drink. He couldn't even sit up in bed due to

being too weak. Friday he started to eat a few bites and started to walk again

so we were able to take him home that afternoon. It might take another 5 days

before he is completely back to normal. Last night he slept for 15 hours and was

still groggy. We are trying to keep him awake. We took him to lunch, get a

haircut, and play at the park and feed the ducks. He had a great time but is

getting sleepy so now we will let him take a nap. It was a very scary

experience. He looked so bad.

Now it makes me wonder what damage is it doing to my daughter. She takes this

medicine twice daily.

Hopefully I will be able to be more active on the list once everything is

settled down. Life is just too busy. My mom is having 3 surgeries next friday

and I have to see a specialist for my pregnancy. The baby is growing too big. He

should only weigh 3 lbs but is about 5lb 5oz already so the doctor is concerned.

I can't wait until october to have the baby and for everything to calm down.

Again, I hope you feel better very soon. You are in my prayers.

le

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone powered by Centennial Wireless.

back to school

I was of wondering of the silence to the list and then remembered that much

might be of in transtion and adjusting to sending kids back to school.

I to remember when my own kids were of little and all in school it was the

hardest time for me of the major interuption of routine. It was hard for me to

adjust and then all the school meetings and words and words and words all the

time words over the kids, the schools it appeared were of always calling of me

because all 4 of my kids are of spectrum and had of IEPs , it was hard but it

gave of me a strength to fight that not had before they were of born. And yet

happy that, that part of my life is of calm now and only minimal rections to the

transitions. But I to have of strong memory so can relate to teh parents lack of

silence.

People from of my church bringed in much food from the food pantry of our church

a much strong need since now for a surgery one has to pay what they feel the

insurance will not pay up front, so to do of my surgery was of 600.00, 3oo.oo

for the surgeon and then 300.00 for the hospital. that was of a lot of money to

have to pay out in one month. so the food was of much a need.

As for me recovery been of slow, the tummy is of healing well but is of causing

me so much pains still. My body is of still struggling to bathroom issues of

both kinds and the bladder is of having strong very painful spasms, or it

appears maybe it gets so swollen that it blocks off the urine so cant go even

though have a full bladder. I to be of hoping that is of normal and not a bad

sign of wrong to my body. and my bowles are of the same, just not normal and it

causes the body and tummy so much pains too. I to been of eating much fiber one

bars and drinking water and I to take of 1-2 senokots a day to help of it but it

is of still painful in my tummy to move of my bowels and I to have of tears when

I to feel the need to go because knowing the tummy pains will be of strong and

hurt of me , it feels as if my whole insides are of badly bruised and inflammed

and that all of my insides are of trying to come and fear that I will die if

everything falls out. one other person on the spectrum shared to me that nothing

inside of my body will fall out, and that it is of not logical but I to still

panic and fear.

I to also be frustrated because so much of the TV I to enjoy is of so full of

political garbage and hate and dis-illunisional thinkings from both sides/ I to

miss when a person coult turn on the TV and find family friendly and or much

disney and cartoons things I to enjoyed now it is of minimal and replaces with

porr quality/lack family orientated sit coms, and or what is of considered porn

and or so much violence and nudity. I to also hate that the strong language is

of so much the language to much shows now too. I to be of cant do much and when

try to do things I to be of want it causes the pains to build until not coping

again so that causes of me to feel frsutrated because need to do things and move

it is of therapuetic for me. so lately have been of just feeling of not happy

inside and have tears more easily. I to know that part as teached me is of

a normal process so not worrying over that. the Hot flashes are of minimal now.

but still think will use of the hormone replacement things to see if it makes

things better or the same.

I to not be of sleeping much tonight. so came of here and rambled much words.

sondra

[Guest guest]

danielle that isof very very scary to read of this for you little boy. kids are

of very fast. My missy when of little got a hold of my very strong anti

psychotics and other pills and had to do the hospital things but htey gave of

her charcoal and pumped out her tummy/ it was of much scary to me but she never

was of admitted to the hospital.

yes I to be of fearful and really still do not fully comprehend of what happened

to my body in complete , I can be of to say the words to it but not really sure

if understand of it all to self yet. so it fears of me. that isof why I to keep

having words to it over and over as trying to gain insight to it all, and to

assure of self that my body will be of to go back and that it will get of better

and that my body will not be of this level of pain now forever to me. it seems

like it will be but much tell me now it will get of better.

thanks

sondra

[Guest guest]

le,

I hope your son continues to get better - my family will be praying for you and

your family.  As far as the baby getting bigger than it should be - as a note of

reassurance:)  My brother was that way when my mom was pregnant with him (I was

20 @ the time so I still remember) and I know they kept running tests on my mom

to make sure everything was ok.  It was - he weighed 10 pounds at birth:)  I

hope everything goes ok - on all accounts.

 

Rhonda

 

Subject: Re: back to school

To: Autism_in_Girls_and_Women

Date: Saturday, September 5, 2009, 5:54 PM

Sondra,

I hope things get better for you soon. I know people who have similar surgeries

and it took them a few weeks to fully recover. I hope you feel better very soon.

I haven't been able to do much online lately because of getting Cali back to

school. Then this past week she only went to school one day since she was sick.

The flu is going around bad right now and Cali, her teacher, my brother, my

sister-in-law, and mother all got sick. Than to make things worse, my son, age

2, snuck in a cabinet and ingested some of Cali's Abilify. Wednesday night he

had to spend the night in ICU and Thursday night he had to stay in a regular

pediatric room. He slept for almost 24 hours straight and had to be on

IV fluids sine he wouldn't eat or drink. He couldn't even sit up in bed due to

being too weak. Friday he started to eat a few bites and started to walk again

so we were able to take him home that afternoon. It might take another 5 days

before he is completely back to normal. Last night he slept for 15 hours and was

still groggy. We are trying to keep him awake. We took him to lunch, get a

haircut, and play at the park and feed the ducks. He had a great time but is

getting sleepy so now we will let him take a nap. It was a very scary

experience. He looked so bad.

Now it makes me wonder what damage is it doing to my daughter. She takes this

medicine twice daily.

Hopefully I will be able to be more active on the list once everything is

settled down. Life is just too busy. My mom is having 3 surgeries next friday

and I have to see a specialist for my pregnancy. The baby is growing too big. He

should only weigh 3 lbs but is about 5lb 5oz already so the doctor is

concerned.  I can't wait until october to have the baby and for everything to

calm down.

Again, I hope you feel better very soon. You are in my prayers.

le

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone powered by Centennial Wireless.

back to school

I was of wondering of the silence to the list and then remembered that much

might be of in transtion and adjusting to sending kids back to school.

I to remember when my own kids were of little and all in school it was the

hardest time for me of the major interuption of routine. It was hard for me to

adjust and then all the school meetings and words and words and words all the

time words over the kids, the schools it appeared were of always calling of me

because all 4 of my kids are of spectrum and had of IEPs , it was hard but it

gave of me a strength to fight that not had before they were of born. And yet

happy that, that part of my life is of calm now and only minimal rections to the

transitions. But I to have of strong memory so can relate to teh parents lack of

silence.

People from of my church bringed in much food from the food pantry of our church

a much strong need since now for a surgery one has to pay what they feel the

insurance will not pay up front, so to do of my surgery was of 600.00,  3oo.oo

for the surgeon and then 300.00 for the hospital. that was of a lot of money to

have to pay out in one month. so the food was of much a need.

As for me recovery been of slow, the tummy is of healing well but is of causing

me so much pains still. My body is of still struggling to bathroom issues of

both kinds and the bladder is of having strong very painful spasms, or it

appears maybe it gets so swollen that it blocks off the urine so cant go even

though have a full bladder. I to be of hoping that is of normal and not a bad

sign of wrong to my body. and my bowles are of the same, just not normal and it

causes the body and tummy so much pains too. I to been of eating much fiber one

bars and drinking water and I to take of 1-2 senokots a day to help of it but it

is of still painful in my tummy to move of my bowels and I to have of tears when

I to feel the need to go because knowing the tummy pains will be of strong and

hurt of me , it feels as if my whole insides are of badly bruised and inflammed

and that all of my insides are of trying to come and fear that I will die if

everything falls out.

one other person on the spectrum shared to me that nothing inside of my body

will fall out, and that it is of not logical but I to still panic and fear.

I to also be frustrated because so much of the TV I to enjoy is of so full of

political garbage and hate and dis-illunisional thinkings from both sides/ I to

miss when a person coult turn on the TV and find family friendly and or much

disney and cartoons things I to enjoyed now it is of minimal and replaces with

porr quality/lack family orientated sit coms, and or what is of considered porn

and or so much violence and nudity. I to also hate that the strong language is

of so much the language to much shows now too. I to be of cant do much and when

try to do things I to be of want it causes the pains to build until not coping

again so that causes of me to feel frsutrated because need to do things and move

it is of therapuetic for me. so lately have been of just feeling of not happy

inside and have tears more easily. I to know that part as teached me is of

a normal process so not worrying over that. the Hot flashes are of  minimal now.

but still

think will use of the hormone replacement things  to see if it makes things

better or the same.

I to not be of sleeping much tonight. so came of here and rambled much words.

sondra

[Guest guest]

Thanks rhonda. I appreciate the prayers. My sister weighed 10 lbs and my

brother weighed 12lb 10 oz and was 4 weeks early. I keep telling my doctor that

my family has big babies but she said its still unhealthy. I'm not worried about

it. I love chunky babies=).

My son had a good day. I can see he is getting sleepy again so we will let him

sleep now but he was up much of the day. He's getting pale and he has purple

circles under his eyes. I think we may have overdone it today and he is worn

out. A few more days and he should be his normal hyper self again.

le

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone powered by Centennial Wireless.

back to school

I was of wondering of the silence to the list and then remembered that much

might be of in transtion and adjusting to sending kids back to school.

I to remember when my own kids were of little and all in school it was the

hardest time for me of the major interuption of routine. It was hard for me to

adjust and then all the school meetings and words and words and words all the

time words over the kids, the schools it appeared were of always calling of me

because all 4 of my kids are of spectrum and had of IEPs , it was hard but it

gave of me a strength to fight that not had before they were of born. And yet

happy that, that part of my life is of calm now and only minimal rections to the

transitions. But I to have of strong memory so can relate to teh parents lack of

silence.

People from of my church bringed in much food from the food pantry of our church

a much strong need since now for a surgery one has to pay what they feel the

insurance will not pay up front, so to do of my surgery was of 600.00,  3oo.oo

for the surgeon and then 300.00 for the hospital. that was of a lot of money to

have to pay out in one month. so the food was of much a need.

As for me recovery been of slow, the tummy is of healing well but is of causing

me so much pains still. My body is of still struggling to bathroom issues of

both kinds and the bladder is of having strong very painful spasms, or it

appears maybe it gets so swollen that it blocks off the urine so cant go even

though have a full bladder. I to be of hoping that is of normal and not a bad

sign of wrong to my body. and my bowles are of the same, just not normal and it

causes the body and tummy so much pains too. I to been of eating much fiber one

bars and drinking water and I to take of 1-2 senokots a day to help of it but it

is of still painful in my tummy to move of my bowels and I to have of tears when

I to feel the need to go because knowing the tummy pains will be of strong and

hurt of me , it feels as if my whole insides are of badly bruised and inflammed

and that all of my insides are of trying to come and fear that I will die if

everything falls out.

one other person on the spectrum shared to me that nothing inside of my body

will fall out, and that it is of not logical but I to still panic and fear.

I to also be frustrated because so much of the TV I to enjoy is of so full of

political garbage and hate and dis-illunisional thinkings from both sides/ I to

miss when a person coult turn on the TV and find family friendly and or much

disney and cartoons things I to enjoyed now it is of minimal and replaces with

porr quality/lack family orientated sit coms, and or what is of considered porn

and or so much violence and nudity. I to also hate that the strong language is

of so much the language to much shows now too. I to be of cant do much and when

try to do things I to be of want it causes the pains to build until not coping

again so that causes of me to feel frsutrated because need to do things and move

it is of therapuetic for me. so lately have been of just feeling of not happy

inside and have tears more easily. I to know that part as teached me is of

a normal process so not worrying over that. the Hot flashes are of  minimal now.

but still

think will use of the hormone replacement things  to see if it makes things

better or the same.

I to not be of sleeping much tonight. so came of here and rambled much words.

sondra

[Guest guest]

Try not to worry too much. I'm assuming they're estimating weight based on

ultrasound? They did that with my oldest and said he was too small, even up to 2

weeks before he was due. He weighed 8 lbs, 2 oz. Does that sound too small to

you? And with my youngest, they estimated his weight to be around 7.5 lbs...he

was 9 lbs, 11 oz!

My point is, it's NOT an exact science, no matter what, so try not to get too

caught up

Best of luck for a healthy baby and easy delivery!

I hope your little guy bounces back quickly!

Amnesty

>

>

>

> Subject: Re: back to school

> To: Autism_in_Girls_and_Women

> Date: Saturday, September 5, 2009, 5:54 PM

>

>

> Sondra,

> I hope things get better for you soon. I know people who have similar

surgeries and it took them a few weeks to fully recover. I hope you feel better

very soon.

> I haven't been able to do much online lately because of getting Cali back to

school. Then this past week she only went to school one day since she was sick.

The flu is going around bad right now and Cali, her teacher, my brother, my

sister-in-law, and mother all got sick. Than to make things worse, my son, age

2, snuck in a cabinet and ingested some of Cali's Abilify. Wednesday night he

had to spend the night in ICU and Thursday night he had to stay in a regular

pediatric room. He slept for almost 24 hours straight and had to be on

> IV fluids sine he wouldn't eat or drink. He couldn't even sit up in bed due to

being too weak. Friday he started to eat a few bites and started to walk again

so we were able to take him home that afternoon. It might take another 5 days

before he is completely back to normal. Last night he slept for 15 hours and was

still groggy. We are trying to keep him awake. We took him to lunch, get a

haircut, and play at the park and feed the ducks. He had a great time but is

getting sleepy so now we will let him take a nap. It was a very scary

experience. He looked so bad.

> Now it makes me wonder what damage is it doing to my daughter. She takes this

medicine twice daily.

> Hopefully I will be able to be more active on the list once everything is

settled down. Life is just too busy. My mom is having 3 surgeries next friday

and I have to see a specialist for my pregnancy. The baby is growing too big. He

should only weigh 3 lbs but is about 5lb 5oz already so the doctor is

concerned.  I can't wait until october to have the baby and for everything to

calm down.

> Again, I hope you feel better very soon. You are in my prayers.

> le

> Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone powered by Centennial Wireless.

>

> back to school

>

>

> I was of wondering of the silence to the list and then remembered that much

might be of in transtion and adjusting to sending kids back to school.

>

> I to remember when my own kids were of little and all in school it was the

hardest time for me of the major interuption of routine. It was hard for me to

adjust and then all the school meetings and words and words and words all the

time words over the kids, the schools it appeared were of always calling of me

because all 4 of my kids are of spectrum and had of IEPs , it was hard but it

gave of me a strength to fight that not had before they were of born. And yet

happy that, that part of my life is of calm now and only minimal rections to the

transitions. But I to have of strong memory so can relate to teh parents lack of

silence.

>

> People from of my church bringed in much food from the food pantry of our

church a much strong need since now for a surgery one has to pay what they feel

the insurance will not pay up front, so to do of my surgery was of 600.00, 

3oo.oo for the surgeon and then 300.00 for the hospital. that was of a lot of

money to have to pay out in one month. so the food was of much a need.

>

> As for me recovery been of slow, the tummy is of healing well but is of

causing me so much pains still. My body is of still struggling to bathroom

issues of both kinds and the bladder is of having strong very painful spasms, or

it appears maybe it gets so swollen that it blocks off the urine so cant go even

though have a full bladder. I to be of hoping that is of normal and not a bad

sign of wrong to my body. and my bowles are of the same, just not normal and it

causes the body and tummy so much pains too. I to been of eating much fiber one

bars and drinking water and I to take of 1-2 senokots a day to help of it but it

is of still painful in my tummy to move of my bowels and I to have of tears when

I to feel the need to go because knowing the tummy pains will be of strong and

hurt of me , it feels as if my whole insides are of badly bruised and inflammed

and that all of my insides are of trying to come and fear that I will die if

everything falls out.

> one other person on the spectrum shared to me that nothing inside of my body

will fall out, and that it is of not logical but I to still panic and fear.

>

> I to also be frustrated because so much of the TV I to enjoy is of so full of

political garbage and hate and dis-illunisional thinkings from both sides/ I to

miss when a person coult turn on the TV and find family friendly and or much

disney and cartoons things I to enjoyed now it is of minimal and replaces with

porr quality/lack family orientated sit coms, and or what is of considered porn

and or so much violence and nudity. I to also hate that the strong language is

of so much the language to much shows now too. I to be of cant do much and when

try to do things I to be of want it causes the pains to build until not coping

again so that causes of me to feel frsutrated because need to do things and move

it is of therapuetic for me. so lately have been of just feeling of not happy

inside and have tears more easily. I to know that part as teached me is of

a normal process so not worrying over that. the Hot flashes are of  minimal now.

but still

> think will use of the hormone replacement things  to see if it makes things

better or the same.

>

> I to not be of sleeping much tonight. so came of here and rambled much words.

sondra

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Amnesty! I've been told by a few people not to trust the ultrasounds so

I'm not worrying about it. Plus, big babies do run in the family so I was

prepared to have a chunky baby. My sis weighed 10 lbs and my brother weighed 12

lb 10 oz and was 4 weeks early. I'm just not looking forward to delivering a

huge baby. I refuse to have epidurals so was hoping to have another 7 lb baby

like my son. I can handle that. Lol

My son is back to normal. He's already bullying his sister and getting in

trouble. He's a tough kid! And when he got home from hospital he went climb to

sneak in the cabinet with meds again. He was not happy to discover all meds are

gone. I definitely have my hands full with that kid!

le

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone powered by Centennial Wireless.

back to school

>

>

> I was of wondering of the silence to the list and then remembered that much

might be of in transtion and adjusting to sending kids back to school.

>

> I to remember when my own kids were of little and all in school it was the

hardest time for me of the major interuption of routine. It was hard for me to

adjust and then all the school meetings and words and words and words all the

time words over the kids, the schools it appeared were of always calling of me

because all 4 of my kids are of spectrum and had of IEPs , it was hard but it

gave of me a strength to fight that not had before they were of born. And yet

happy that, that part of my life is of calm now and only minimal rections to the

transitions. But I to have of strong memory so can relate to teh parents lack of

silence.

>

> People from of my church bringed in much food from the food pantry of our

church a much strong need since now for a surgery one has to pay what they feel

the insurance will not pay up front, so to do of my surgery was of 600.00, 

3oo.oo for the surgeon and then 300.00 for the hospital. that was of a lot of

money to have to pay out in one month. so the food was of much a need.

>

> As for me recovery been of slow, the tummy is of healing well but is of

causing me so much pains still. My body is of still struggling to bathroom

issues of both kinds and the bladder is of having strong very painful spasms, or

it appears maybe it gets so swollen that it blocks off the urine so cant go even

though have a full bladder. I to be of hoping that is of normal and not a bad

sign of wrong to my body. and my bowles are of the same, just not normal and it

causes the body and tummy so much pains too. I to been of eating much fiber one

bars and drinking water and I to take of 1-2 senokots a day to help of it but it

is of still painful in my tummy to move of my bowels and I to have of tears when

I to feel the need to go because knowing the tummy pains will be of strong and

hurt of me , it feels as if my whole insides are of badly bruised and inflammed

and that all of my insides are of trying to come and fear that I will die if

everything falls out.

> one other person on the spectrum shared to me that nothing inside of my body

will fall out, and that it is of not logical but I to still panic and fear.

>

> I to also be frustrated because so much of the TV I to enjoy is of so full of

political garbage and hate and dis-illunisional thinkings from both sides/ I to

miss when a person coult turn on the TV and find family friendly and or much

disney and cartoons things I to enjoyed now it is of minimal and replaces with

porr quality/lack family orientated sit coms, and or what is of considered porn

and or so much violence and nudity. I to also hate that the strong language is

of so much the language to much shows now too. I to be of cant do much and when

try to do things I to be of want it causes the pains to build until not coping

again so that causes of me to feel frsutrated because need to do things and move

it is of therapuetic for me. so lately have been of just feeling of not happy

inside and have tears more easily. I to know that part as teached me is of

a normal process so not worrying over that. the Hot flashes are of  minimal now.

but still

> think will use of the hormone replacement things  to see if it makes things

better or the same.

>

> I to not be of sleeping much tonight. so came of here and rambled much words.

sondra

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Sondra,

Today my son is back to his normal self, bullying other kids and destroying

things. After he was home from hospital, he went straight to the kitchen to

climb and get the medicines again. He wasn't happy to find that the meds are

gone! I can't take my eyes off that child for a second!!

My mom is having 3 surgeries this friday, all female things. Women go through so

much. Its not fair!!

How is your daughter doing with her pregnancy? I believe she is due around the

same time as I am.

le

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone powered by Centennial Wireless.

Re: back to school

danielle that isof very very scary to read of this for you little boy. kids are

of very fast. My missy when of little got a hold of my very strong anti

psychotics and other pills and had to do the hospital things but htey gave of

her charcoal and pumped out her tummy/ it was of much scary to me but she never

was of admitted to the hospital.

yes I to be of fearful and really still do not fully comprehend of what happened

to my body in complete , I can be of to say the words to it but not really sure

if understand of it all to self yet. so it fears of me. that isof why I to keep

having words to it over and over as trying to gain insight to it all, and to

assure of self that my body will be of to go back and that it will get of better

and that my body will not be of this level of pain now forever to me. it seems

like it will be but much tell me now it will get of better.

thanks

sondra

[Guest guest]

danielle I to wonder if you son is of not a version of AS, as it sound smuch

familar to me of some little boys with aspergers syndrome even at age of two.

also because most kids of hims age learn fromt ehir actions of things as it

becomes and adversive if it was of scary to him but if not learned it can also

mean that there was of not a negative learend response to such dangers which can

mean or equal a specrum child or a child with other neurological/cognitive

issues. when one child is of dx offically with spectrum in the family and others

siblings have of behavioral issues it can me that the siblings themselves either

have of a varioation of spectrum too or they shadow of it. not want of to worry

of you but to maybe get of you to watch and observe of red flags as it isof

called of signs of the possibiltiy so not over look a child who may also need of

supports and services to learn and gain in life.

about the new grand baby last time she shared the doctor shared the baby was

around 5 pounds and that the baby's head is dropped into position and that the

baby is of due around 5 weeks but for me feel teh baby will come on the 27th of

this month , something tells me maybe early for this baby. Her name will be of

igh . I to be fo getting anxious and cant wait to have of her in my

arms to see of her little hands and face. But Aimee reminded of me that her

husband gets of to hold of her first until he is of done then I can be of to

hold her. I to need to know of social rules or set rules by people to do best

and not furstrate of people because cant know unless one tells of me like Aimee

did.

surgery wise I to been of really resting much so this last 2-3 days doing

nothing but sleeping, and or watching TV but not doing house work or driving or

things of that. I to been of taking of my pain things as prescribed for the most

part to reast and not cope of the pain to let of it build up.

My brain keeps having strong impulsive needs to be of else where, where my brain

wants to have of tears because cant do that , like go back to myrtle beach, cant

do that until maybe next year. I to be of want to do the favored shops there to

see of the giraffe and zebra and elephant statue and or as others call of them

knick-knacks. I to be of can hear the ocean waves though and smell of the ocean

air still from memory though. I to also figures out why having somuch pains to

the places where the ovaries were is of that my body was of doing the steps too

much which is of a strong left-right movement and that isof causing the pains to

be of more intense there from over working an areas that was not meaned to be of

worked that way.

yes females do have of too much female parts that are of not fair or right when

they go wrong and cause of major health issues. Some things have improved

already that are of noted to me forhaving of that surgery as far as female

things go and that to me is of a good things, and my face is of clearing up some

not completely yet but some and the dark rings under the eyes have become a mild

things not a severe things to me now. the breast of no no longer hurt of have of

painful cyst like things that hurt of me much so. but the bad is of gaining

weight because cant get of my sensory things much so compensate by to over eat

and want to keep eating to get of the spicy, salty and other strong oral tastes

of foods give.

I to wondered if the friends of me here seen of me on the you tube things for

the national ASA conference things under the culture of autism or under of my

name. I to really seek of feedback so can know if did of good or need to work

out things in a better fashions. Panels are of hard for me but loved doing it

this year it was of fun to meet of Judy and Lars. Judy and me becomed of

friends, and Lars and me work on the national PSA (panel of spectrum adults)

next year it will be in Texas so I to be of saving for that trip already. I ot

have a aunt and uncle who lives of there and they will meet of me and take of me

to thier home for some time. this is of the one aunt who was born in Holland and

met of my uncle during the time he was of stationed there. she was of the one

aunt who fell much to love of me as a kid and her heart was of to speak out for

me and my birth family rejected her for it, she was angery over how they treated

of me and wanted to help of me as she seen of the bad the family was of doing to

me. she shared she tried hard to get ofme to ahve of words with her , she felt I

to had major trust issues and was of much a shy person , she now knows it was

because of lack of ability to reference, relate and communicate , but she shared

a few times I to did of show her kindness in odd ways such as dropping a picture

I to colored into her lap and taking her by the hand to have of her sit to watch

what was of called the Gong show, she shared that show maked of me very happy as

a child. but now as an adult I to been of having her words via the email to her

and she to me and she shared of much about her feelings towards me and because

ofher I to feel validate by at least one member of my family even though she was

of married into the family.

I to plan to begin of being more active towards her with gifts and cards and

letters and to send of her pictures of me and the family of me. I to plan to try

of my best to let of her into my world. the only people I to be of so very much

expressive too and open to share of my world too is of my internet friends such

as this list. The birth family of me has no room or desire to ther hearts to

know of my heart or being , but here much do seek and share of their own to me.

I to have some places of care to me that keeps of me having desire to keep

trying and working that which i must.

sondra