how do I kick depression?

[Guest guest]

I'm also going through a deep depression and don't know how to kick it. Between

waiting for my court case from work and my body getting worse, I feel useless.

There is nothing I want to get out bed for, that's why I'm up at 4 a.m...I seem

to do better at night. I don't mean to get anyone down in the dumps, but just

want to know if it's alright to have a down time.

Between loosing my job of 18 years, always having back pain, and sometimes just

not knowing what to do next. My biggest problem is trying to figure out some

kind of schedule so I allow myself to " Take a day Off " .

When I was working, at least I knew I had to be somewhere at sometime, now I

don't have a reason to get out of bed and that's exactly what I've been

doing....not getting out of bed. I haven't taken a shower for 2 days.

When I start doing chores, if I push myself, I pay for it for days. I've got to

learn what I can and can't do. My question to EVERYONE is " Does everyone go

through this and more importantly, IS IT ALRIGHT FOR ME TO TAKE THIS TIME OUT?

or should I have thrown myself into something right away?

In my heart, I don't feel depressed, but do feel tired and sore. I take that

back, damn straight I feel depressed. My CMT is progressing faster than I

expected. And I thing about it every single minute of the day. It hurts to

take a shower.

And my husband is a gift from heaven. We are barely getting by financially and

although I always feel ugly, he always says I look beautiful. I worry in the

back of my mind if he'll leave me someday, and I think I'm making him mad, I

KNOW I making him mad, because all I do is wait for him to come home for someone

to talk to.

Is this normal, it's only been a couple of years since I was OFFICIALLY

diagnosed. I just want to know if you guys go through this too. Sorry for

going on and on. Any advice at all would make me feel better. Thank you guys

and , hang in there.

from the keys.

[Guest guest]

,

Depression is an evil and insididious cretaure. " Taking a day off " is extremely

important if you have been pushing yourself too hard. However (and this is from

personal experience) if you allow fear to take over, " time off " becomes an

excuse for diving deeper into depression and fear. Fear breeds more fear. I

found in my personal experience, that the fear starts and then you don't feel

like doing anything. You begin " thinking " and from there fear has no reigns. The

more things to worry about, the more things to worry about. It's a road that

doesn't end well if you don't get off your ass and " DO " .

Example: I was getting up in the morning (unemployed) I am a drafter. I'd get

out of the shower and begin looking at my hands. " If I get a job again, how much

longer could do this? " " I should have taken a different course in college when I

had a chance. " How am I going hold up my end of this marriage? " Will she stay

with me now that I'm handicapped and unemployed? " " How can we achieve any of

the dreams and plans we've had? " If we do achieve our dream, then we will be

sort of isolated " My wife is older than me, what happens if she dies? " I'll be

alone " Then what? I'll be some handicap in the middle of nowhere. " All of my

siblings are much older than me and there gonna die before me. " I have no kids

to take care of me in my old age. " My parents will die. " " In 40 years I may be

alone in this world " .

Then I'd brush my teeth.

The rest of my day my head would be so full of worry, I'd be in a fog.

No matter what, you CANNOT give into fear. It will paralize you make you think

your " taking a break " .

If you " take a break " and feel like you've accomplished something that deserves

a break or your body really needs a break by all means you should.

If your sitting there and there's empty frozen dinner trays laying all over and

the toilet paper roll hasn't been changed because you ran out 2 days ago and

have been using paper towels because the store is 2 miles away? You're allowing

fear to win.

Something that my wife said actually helped me to snap out of it. I was sort of

a wake up call. She said, " you know that I love you, but, the thing the

attracted me most about you was your strength in character even though you faced

your inevitable situation. " It wasn't the hadicap that would chase her away, it

was the complaining and brooding and worry.

Quote: Fear came knocking, Faith answered the door and nobody was there.

You cannot have fear if you have faith, faith that there is a purpose for

everything. You are not junk. Your job is to pay attention to when and where you

can help others and when good things ARE HAPPENING.

Take Care

[Guest guest]

The way I handle depression is keep myself busy. I have a hobby, it's woodcraft.

[Guest guest]

May I say ,

You are bang on right with what you say, I too have been there and it is a day

to day battle but can be won. , there can be light at the end of the

tunnel but it takes hard work and help, easy for me to say which is what I use

to say to people when they said 'snap out of it' take all help that is offered

and if medication is offered - try it - I didn't for years then finally I did

and have never looked back.

My relationship is back on track (he proposed last week) and the fact that I now

sometimes use a wheelchair and wear AFOs on both legs is not an issue - I always

thought how can anyone love someone like me??? I learned to love me (well like

ha ha) and I think that needs to be a starting point.

Love to all

Jill

[Guest guest]

,

Your words did wonders for me, thank you. How did you know I wasn't getting

toilet paper AND the store is only " 1 " mile away. These are the words I needed

to hear. Your right about my spouse also. I wait all day for him to come home

and know he needs his space, and I do give it to him, but all I want him to do

is take 20 minutes with me. He says " I Love You " at least 3 times a day and I

can't remember the last time we even had a tiff, he's a great guy and it seems

like all of us have good spouses and friends which is hard to come by sometimes.

That's a blessing in itself.

I watched my father sit in a chair (I was from the ages of 10 through 16) and

drink, smoke and take the narcotics the doctor gave to him and burn the chair

with his cigarettes time and time again. I remember he didn't drive because he

crashed the cars we had (this was from 1970 until 1976 when he was definitely

misdiagnosed from a doctor who gave him librium and let him drive home right

into the bottom of a house and almost died...I was in 6th grade) I watched him

slowly die, it took years and my mother stood by him taking care of him the best

she knew...he also walked with a cane and had

all the symtoms of CMT, I just don't think they knew what it was back then. He

had gotten a disability retirement at the age of 33 when he was a lineman and

the bucket truck didn't stop and threw him out of it.

I didn't know much back then but did realize to a point he was on a mission to

die slowly. Sorry, I'm chewing your ear off, that's another story. I'm not

going to take that route. I just needed a little push to hear the good stuff,

like Gretchen saying she's actually gotten better.

, thank you from the bottom of my heart for making me laugh out loud.

from the Keys (we have lots of 's..lol)

[Guest guest]

and ,

Wow, how true. This sounds like the way my head was when I was depressed.

Basically round and round and it can make you crazy and VERY self-defeating. I

have a friend who is going throug depression and told me she could not get off

the couch.

Well, since I know she does not have a physical handicap, I told her yes you

can. Take your feet right now and put them on the floor. Then find a shirt and

put it on. Then put pants and shoes on. Then GET in your car and come over right

now.

She has been living with me for 2 weeks now and each day gets better and easier.

I know this sounds so simplistic, but is right.

I also would worry so far into the future and worry about being alone and

handicapped and all that worry was not " real " I would walk around in a fog

thinking that everyone else was better off than me.

Now that the fog is gone, I am much more realistic and although problems do

surface (that is what life is about) I can handle them and tackle ONE at a time.

Being out of work is probably what is making this worse. Lots of time to think

and along with financial worries, it is scary.

Try to make a schedule so that you have one thing that you do everyday; could be

as simple as go to the library and get a good book, but it gives you a reason to

wake up, get dressed, get out and then you can look forward to coming back home.

A book that I read that really helped is called " Feel the fear and do it anyway "

Hang in there! The good thing about life is that nothing is constant.

Jackie

[Guest guest]

Jill and ....thanks so much.

I'm going to the drug store now to pick up my anti-depressants. Now I'm on

Medicaid and they keep changing which ones they cover. I was on Effexor twice a

day, now the druggist says it's going to change on Monday. They won't cover

that one anymore. Anyway....CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU JILL!! That's so romantic.

People are what they are on the inside. It all comes from the heart.

Thanks to all of you.

Love,

[Guest guest]

Thanks ,

Please believe me you can conquer this xxxx