Overwhelmed

August 6, 2002

She's right ... just because something shows up on a food screen

doesn't necessarily mean your child is allergic to it.

In our case, he showed a positive to soy. We took it away for 5 weeks

and then reintroduced it (big time) and saw no negative reaction. Now

he eats it almost every day in his yogurt.

We did the same thing with almonds and learned that the positive was

not false ... he did have a reaction.

So you need to use the food screen as a guide, not the final,

definitive answer.

Dave

> Hi. I just want you to know that I know how you feel. When we had

my son tested he was allergic to all of your items plus rice, beef,

onion, garlic, some fruits and veggies, etc. So I know how

overwhelming it can be. One thing to remember is that the positives

can be false so at some point you can try to introduce the foods that

your child is supposed to be allergic to and see what happens. If

you eliminate the food and then add it back in later and see no

change it may be a false positive.

>

> Also, Miss Roben has a great selection of mixes, etc. especially

if you can do rice. If your child likes chicken nuggets I have a

really easy way of doing those. Just let me know. Potatoes are a

great source of ideas too. If your child likes mustard, I found a

gluten free organic honey mustard dressing at Whole Foods that I put

on salad and my son devours it. This is a kid who had no interest in

salad but his diet is so limited I think he wanted something new and

he loves the taste of mustard.

>

> Feel me to email me privately for more help.

> good luck

> -Noelle

>

March 27, 2003

Hi,

I think a psychologist not a psychiatrist may be your answer. Most people

that I have known have better results with a psychologist if your dealing

with everyday life pressures. Also you may not like the first one that you

go to, its a personality thing. So if you find after at least 3 sessions

that the person isn't helping you, try someone else. It will help you. Also

I dont believe if they are a good psychologist that it should matter if they

have dealt with special needs children or not. Be glad you got rid of that

psychiatrist.

Hope this has helped!!!

We have all been in your shoes at one point or another!!

Good Luck!!

Kim K

March 27, 2003

Hi Suzi,

The hardest and most important step is realizing there is something

wrong and reaching out for help. The fact that you are, shows all of

us what a loving parent you truly are. Besides -you wouldn't be normal if

you never lost it a bit -as long as you don't go over the edge. You

know yourself best -so it does sound like it is wise to seek someone

professional to talk to that can help work out a personal plan for

you and your family to improve how things are now. You may want to

seek a child psych for the children and a different one for you (and your

husband?) to also talk to. Check

with your insurance since many will cover each in your family separate.

To find a psychologist who is knowledgeable about special needs children and the

stress from that -

check with your children's school psychologist, or ask here and say

what state you are from, or ask friends and neighbors (you

will be amazed how many know) I believe you were from California -

so I'm posting this site from a child psychologist there who can

perhaps refer you to a child psychologist near you if she is not.

http://www.childpsychologist.com/

I also found this from the American Psychological Association

" How may I use APA as a resource?

'Talk to Someone Who Can Help,'

http://helping.apa.org/brochure/index.html brochure about

psychotherapy and choosing a psychologist from the American

Psychological Association can be ordered free of charge. Call 1-800-

964-2000

Get the facts: How to find help through psychotherapy ,a brief

question-and-answer guide that provides basic information about

psychotherapy and how it can help.

http://www.helping.apa.org/therapy/psychotherapy.html

Find a Psychologist, information on how to be connected with the

state psychological association referral network in your area. This

information is also available by calling: 1-800-964-2000.

http://www.helping.apa.org/find.html

Here are two articles from one of our favorite dads who has a child

with special needs -and who also happens to be a child psychologist:

Families need help and dignity, not punishment.

(As it appeared in the Philadelphia Sunday Inquirer of January 9,

2000)

Many people find it hard to fathom what could drive a couple like

Dawn and Kelso of Chester County to abandon their fragile

child, , at a hospital on the day after Christmas 1999. I for

one do not. The image of the boy in a wheelchair who needs a

respirator to breath jolted me as I read it while visiting relatives

in Florida. By all accounts, the Kelsos had loved their child

dearly. They have had round the clock nursing care in their home for

years.

I wish I could be baffled. If only my son was healthy, I would be on

that side of the fence. If only he didn't have autism. If only he

could speak and read and write. And if only my boy now twenty wasn't

severely retarded. Then I could be morally offended. Then I might

think it a crime with the parents deserving their mug shots in the

newspaper. Quite the contrary it seems to border on the absurd and

the uncivilized to charge this couple with crimes.

Children with special healthcare needs can be wonderfully endearing

and lovable. They readily evoke our compassion. Simultaneously they

can drain their parents to unfathomable lengths and be very

difficult to live with from day to day. Parents often have to beg

and scream to get services their child requires. Besides my own

experiences, my sources include many families who are raising a

child with a disability and who seek my counsel as a professional

psychologist.

Sometimes a sick baby will keep you up all night. You worry and you

check to see that your infant is still breathing. What if your child

never got better? What if all the love and the best medical care

didn't change that but your child lived? Who would you become? What

if you had a child like who reportedly had up to 30 seizures

in a single day?

I can tell you that it is a grief like no other. It will take you

places you never wanted to go...

(read the whole article at

http://www.specialfamilies.com/inquirer_op_ed.htm )

" ...As Tariq continued to meet developmental milestones - including

the development of a small but useful vocabulary - I began to dream

of our future together. I imagined him playing Little League

baseball. In my mind's eye, I beamed with pride as he fielded the

ball and swiftly ran the bases. I would be the perfect father -

there for him when he needed to talk, but able to give him space

when he wanted it. I imagined the two of us having philosophical

discussions. Our relationship would be close and warm.

In June of 1981, when he was 18 months old, Tariq got sick with a

virus. His illness was treated and went away, but my son never got

better; he never spoke another word. I was sick with worry as

Tariq's engaging personality became a mere memory. He seemed to have

no interest in people, but would play with the same rattle for hours

on end. When he was diagnosed with autism, I was flooded with the

deepest grief of my life.

....I saw this dream as a sign that Tariq would speak to me again, if

only I would work with him to make it happen. Desperate to document

evidence of Tariq's progress, I taped his grunts, groans and

babbling. I listened to these tapes for hours on end, straining to

hear the emergence of meaningful communication.

Eventually, I began to wake up from this dream feeling exhausted and

overwhelmed. Whenever I'd worked hard at something in my life, I had

gotten results. But now my hopes for Tariq's recovery were fading.

It was hard to fathom that I might have no control over my child's

condition, still more difficult to admit that love was not enough to

help my son...

(read the whole article at

http://www.specialfamilies.com/healing_broken_dreams.htm )

While you seek the professional help I suggest you take some " me "

time to do things just because you like to do them. If you can't

find this time while your children are in school, then find someone

that can watch the children (your husband, a neighbor, friends,

family, a babysitter) and for an hour or two in the evening go to

the mall, or to see a movie (comedy preferably), or to work out, or

out to eat, or for a manicure, or for a nature walk, or take a

pottery class, etc. Even if you never did one of the above before

at 8:00 PM when most of the rest of the world is sitting in front of

the TV -then do it for you. For that hour or two -the laundry won't

get any stinkier, your family won't starve no matter how much they

say they will, the IEP, therapy, advocacy track can wait for the sun

to rise, and you deserve to relax.

I can relate. Dakota and I almost died during delivery and I went

from being the happy go lucky social butterfly to the crying lump on

the couch under the blanket gently rocking Dakota's torn and crushed

body with tears running down my face looking up at the ceiling and

saying " why my baby, why me?! Never did anyone in the world feel

sorrier for herself than me. That's how I felt. I didn't take my

stress out on Dakota who was a baby at the time -or my friends or

family or anyone but one person. I took all my anger out on my

husband Glenn -who was always my best friend before Dakota was

born.

There were a few things that helped me, some of them included simple

things like walks on the beach and hot chocolate with marshmallows

(and for some reason watching the movie Oklahoma a hundred times),

Here are however the three I found to be most important:

1. Acquiring the knowledge to help Dakota and Tanner and doing what

I needed to do to help them so I didn't feel so helpless. It's a

good feeling to know that you are doing all you possibly can -so

there won't be any " if onlys " in the future. I learned about

the " if onlys " because I started...

2. Reaching out to help others first through Shop-In Service and

then through the nonprofits Children's Apraxia Network/CHERAB -that helped

me more than anything get over feeling sorry for myself -and made me

once again feel thankful that we were both alive rather than sorry

for what we went through. And then the one thing that helped amazingly I never

credited

because why would I since nobody told me this would happen when I...

3. Started taking the magic fish oil myself!!! I don't have to say

anything else except try it -you will see what I and many of us

mean. (must be why a goldfish even looks happy in a paper cup

filled with three inches of tap water)

It took hindsight to figure out that just when Glenn and I went back

to best friends again and I went almost all the way back to my old

self was when both of us started taking the fish oil to prevent

heart disease since it runs in both our families. Another

incredible side effect for me which I wasn't expecting anything was

I got my memory back! I no longer -never - walk into a room and wonder why

I'm there...which happened to me after Dakota was born at around

only 30 years old! (and I lost even more of my incredible memory

after Tanner was born) Now I once again can tell you who is doing

what voice in an animated movie -and other silly stuff like it that

doesn't matter but that will drive you crazy when you can't remember

it! No research on this yet, only psychological (which may be in

itself enough for you to give it a try!) -but again anecdotally

almost all the parents I talk into trying the fish oil report the

same about memory too. Having my memory back gives me happy feet too.

We are here for you!

=====

March 27, 2003

Hi Suzi,

I know how you feel - and I only have one special

needs child. Anyhow, have you contacted the Community

Mental Health in your area? I know that they have

alot of information there and could probably point you

in the right direction as to who would be available

for that. There is funding that is also available

(like for my son, because of PDD and his ACM)it's a

small amount per month available ($160.00) but it

would cover a babysitter a couple of times a month

where you could get out.

Hope this helps,

Kim

--- luckygmstwife <suzi_knowles@...> wrote:

> Okay, I've been feeling very overwhelmed this year

> with all 3 kids

> in school. I'm also snapping at my children a lot

> and feel like I'm

> not in good control at home. I'm also noticing lots

> of issues

> popping up for my kids as to how they are getting

> along.

>

> In other words, I need help. I really want to find

> a good

> psychologist or psychiatrist that knows about

> special needs kids.

> Well, I'm having trouble finding someone. My

> neurologist made a

> recommendation for one psychiatrist, and when I

> talked to him he

> said he really didn't handle the situation I find

> myself in.

>

> Anyone have any suggestions????

>

> Thanks,

>

> Suzi

March 28, 2003

Ok, Suzi - I've got to throw in my two cents (don't I always?)...

There is such a thing as situational depression. It involves being

chronically overwhelmed, feeling really low, feeling trapped...all

things parents with special needs kids feel - only it's " different "

and only you and a doc can decide if you're " clinically depressed " .

If you have a family history of depression (treated or not) or if

this " feeling " has continued for more than 2 weeks, you should see a

doc. While I agree that often times psychologists can be more

helpful from the therapy side of things (which is an important part

to learn coping skills - and they're different for a depressed

person), often times insurance wants an MD or a PhD in order for them

to pay...or a rec from a MD/PhD, and that means a psychaiatrist.

Consider taking an online depression screening test if this sounds

like you...

Also, just an FYI - our developmental assessments through children's

hospital have psychologists and social workers as part of the

assessment. Now, there is a 5 mo waiting list, but it's pretty

great. Email me privately if you want more info...not sure where you

are.

Have a good day - hope I've not offended.

Marina

> Hi,

>

> I think a psychologist not a psychiatrist may be your answer. Most

people

> that I have known have better results with a psychologist if your

dealing

> with everyday life pressures. Also you may not like the first one

that you

> go to, its a personality thing. So if you find after at least 3

sessions

> that the person isn't helping you, try someone else. It will help

you. Also

> I dont believe if they are a good psychologist that it should

matter if they

> have dealt with special needs children or not. Be glad you got

rid of that

> psychiatrist.

>

> Hope this has helped!!!

>

> We have all been in your shoes at one point or another!!

>

> Good Luck!!

>

> Kim K

>

March 28, 2003

Hi Marina!

Interesting points. Situational depression? I'm sure like me most

of us didn't know there were different types other than regular and

post partum depression. I believe this is important to post since

most people don't have the bravery of Suzi to come forward -however

based on some of the emails we've received here in the past, and the

amount of those that don't post but just lurk, perhaps this

information will help others too. I looked it up and found a site

that talked about the various types of depressions called " Trapped

Minds "

" A site for adult and teenage depression alike. Combing live chat,

and user feedback, support groups, and communities Trappedminds.org

is quickly gaining popularity.

Trappedminds.org prides itself on providing a safe haven for

depression suffers. It's our goal to ease the burden of depression

by helping people cope, manage, and provide a vital understanding...

When depression is serious enough to require treatment, it is called

clinical depression. When the symptoms are more severe, someone is

said to be suffering from major depression. This condition tends to

be episodic in nature.

Clinical, or major depression is the world's No. 1 mental disorder,

the 2nd most disabling condition in the world behind heart disease.

And it's growing at an alarming rate

Mild Depression - Dysthymia

Although many people suffer episodes of depression, others suffer

from recurrent, or long-lasting depression, and are diagnosed with

dysthymia. For persons with dysthymia who experience an additional

major depressive episode, the diagnosis is double depression.

Bipolar disorder

Bipolar disorder, also known as manic depression, consists of

terrible lows that alternate with unexplainable highs. Experts

believe this is attributable to imbalances in brain chemistry.

Medications can correct the imbalance about 80 percent of the time.

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD)

The winter blues are not all in your head. Researchers believe that

some people respond to changes in the amount of light they are

exposed to, and therapies focus on adjusting light exposure.

Post Partum Depression

Eighty percent of women experience the " baby blues " after the birth

of a child: hormonal changes, the physical stresses of birth, and

the emotional strain of new responsibilities can make the first few

weeks after a birth emotionally trying. The " blues " usually last two

to three weeks, and then resolve without any need for treatment.

For ten percent of new mothers, however, the blues don't go away.

Instead, they develop into post partum depression. Without

treatment, post partum depression can develop into a major

depression or dysthymia.

Situational Depression

Situational depression is a normal reaction to a painful life event,

such as the death of a loved one, the loss of a job or a divorce. It

is not a biochemical illness like chronic depression.

Symptoms of situational depression are the same as those of a major

depression. They may include despair, trouble sleeping,

irritability, change in appetite, difficulty concentrating and

emotional withdrawal "

http://www.trappedminds.org/types.html

=====

March 28, 2003

Hey everyone,

Thanks for all of the great input. I've already scheduled an

appointment with the Children's Health Council in Palo Alto. I

talked to a coordinator there, and I think they will be able to put

on the right track of getting help with our family.

I think I need someone to figure out ways for us to get all of our

schooling and therapy needs met. Actually, I'm having more trouble

with my 8 year old than with the girls. He's having so much school

work, and he is very, very slow at getting writing assignments

done. He was also sick all of last week, and now he has to play

catch up. He has a tic disorder, and that can make writing more

difficult. I'm trying to see if I need to have some official

accomodations made for him. I just don't want him to feel like he's

different. I'm not sure what to do.

As for depresssion, I'm all too familiar with it. My mother is a

manic depressive, and her side of the family is full of either manic

depressives or just depressed people. That's why I'd like to talk

to a psychiatrist because I see a few alarming trends in 2 of my

kids. I just want to make sure that everything is okay with them

(and me).

I've actually tried anti-depressants, but they only temporarily

help. It doesn't keep you from having too much on your plate. It

also doesn't solve any real problems.

I'd like someone to help me figure out a good homework situation for

all 3 kids. I'd also like someone to help me figure out how to get

the kids to get along better. I think is getting a little

jealous of the attention that gets, and I think is

getting tired of beating her at everything.

Thanks to this group and other online resources, I should get the

help I need.

Suzi

January 28, 2004

Hello to all,

I have subscribed to this web site and I sit and read it every night. And it

scares me. It all sounds so overwhelming. How do you get your beautiful

children to take all this stuff? How do they swallow it? Please help me

understand.

Thank You!

January 28, 2004

Hi,

Let me just start by saying......It IS overwhelming and scary! I

have been at this for about one year now & I can't believe a whole

year went by!! When you find out your child has autism, you want to

LEARN everything & DO everything you can to help him! So you dive

into this mysterious & complicated world of autism. But at some

point you need to slow down & catch your breath and realize you

can't do it all at once. So sit down & write out a game plan as to

what steps you want to take (diet, supps, yeast/bacteria, chelation,

etc.) Then try to tackle one thing at a time. Keep reading &

learning as much as you can. This list is a great place to start!

BTW, my son is 3 yrs old and I put all of his supps (even Cod Liver

Oil!) in his juice cup. He doesn't seem to mind & he takes alot of

supps!! I never give him juice without something in it, sometimes

it feels like a science experiment!

But if your child rejects his drink because he can taste it, you can

try mixing it with his food, maple syrup, honey, peanut butter, etc.

If you have any other questions about anything, just ask. There are

so many people here to help.

> Hello to all,

>

> I have subscribed to this web site and I sit and read it every

night. And it

> scares me. It all sounds so overwhelming. How do you get your

beautiful

> children to take all this stuff? How do they swallow it? Please

help me understand.

> Thank You!

>

January 28, 2004

Just a quick note to say that I lurked on this board for a year before

starting the chelating process on my now nearly 6 year old daughter. It

scared me to, and I purchased the ALA and supplements months before I had

the nerve to use them. I remember looking at her one evening and thinking

" Something better happen because you are just LOST in your old world " . I

gave her the first dose right then and was fine with it after that.

I'm no expert, so I'll let the others give you advise. But wanted to let

you know I'd been where you are (along with many others on this list).

Valeri, mom to:

Jenna 2/98

2/99

LeeLee 2/01

[ ] Re: [ ) overwhelmed

Hello to all,

I have subscribed to this web site and I sit and read it every night. And

it

scares me. It all sounds so overwhelming. How do you get your beautiful

children to take all this stuff? How do they swallow it? Please help me

understand.

Thank You!

January 29, 2004

I remember quite clearly being where you are now - hang in there

How do we get this stuff in them, well, persistence, determination, creative

mixing. Metals aren't an issue for everybody, get a hair test done at DDI and

see if you need to figure all this out - concentrates the mind and spurs you

on if you KNOW you HAVE to learn. Info on the hair testing at this link :-

http://home.earthlink.net/~moriam/

HTH

Mandi in UK

> I have subscribed to this web site and I sit and read it every night. And

> it

> scares me. It all sounds so overwhelming. How do you get your beautiful

> children to take all this stuff? How do they swallow it? Please help me

> understand.

>

January 29, 2004

Thank you for your reply. My son is 5 years old and was diagnosed when

he was 3.5. We have 40hrs of Aba he is on dmg and super thera supplements. But

we cant even always get the full amount of that in him because he is so

picky. He only drinks water. So he can taste any thing we put in it. We put

most

of it in his mac and cheese but he only eats that once a day and you cant put

it all in that.

I try to do everything I can for my son and he is doing Great, but when I

read this web site I feel like I am not doing enough. Thank you for your

time!!!!

Cherie

January 29, 2004

Hi Cherie,

Obviously you've been at this for awhile now! For some reason I

thought you were new to this. Good to hear your son is doing well.

Believe me, I feel the same way you do, about not doing enough.

Let's face it, it will NEVER be enough, until our kids are

recovered!! Have you started chelation yet? If so, I'd like to

hear about your experience with that. That's my next step.

> Thank you for your reply. My son is 5 years old and was

diagnosed when

> he was 3.5. We have 40hrs of Aba he is on dmg and super thera

supplements. But

> we cant even always get the full amount of that in him because he

is so

> picky. He only drinks water. So he can taste any thing we put in

it. We put most

> of it in his mac and cheese but he only eats that once a day and

you cant put

> it all in that.

>

> I try to do everything I can for my son and he is doing Great, but

when I

> read this web site I feel like I am not doing enough. Thank you

for your time!!!!

>

Cherie

>

January 29, 2004

I make a sort of vitamin cocktail for my son 3 times daily. I put all of the

hard pills and tablets in a coffee grinder (don't plan on using it for your

coffee anymore), grind, then mix with the liquid vitamins and supplements, then

mix it with something meant to camoflage the taste. The best we can do is

orange pop, which does have sugar, but at least my son will drink all of the

other important stuff.

As you might have guessed, my son doesn't swallow pills.

January 30, 2004

There's a file on stategies for getting kids to take various supplements in

different forms.

S

>

Hello to all,

I have subscribed to this web site and I sit and read it every night. And it

scares me. It all sounds so overwhelming. How do you get your beautiful

children to take all this stuff? How do they swallow it? Please help me

understand.

Thank You!

January 30, 2004

> I have subscribed to this web site and I sit and read it every

night. And it

> scares me. It all sounds so overwhelming.

Consider things one at a time.

>> How do you get your beautiful

> children to take all this stuff? How do they swallow it?

I have never given the vast quantities of supplements that others

give their kids. If you want a description of things I have tried,

click here

http://www.danasview.net/chel6380.htm

Always start things at low dose, one at a time, to see any reactions,

good or bad.

I mix all my son's supplements into peanut butter and occasionally I

add a drop or so of honey, if the supplement tastes bad. This works

for him. He now also has the option of swallowing the capsules, if

he wants.

Good luck.

Dana

March 1, 2004

>

> I am feeling so overwhelmed lately with everything. I have 3

teenagers and a 21 year old and I can't seem to catch up with

anything. Maybe I need a good night's sleep. My husband helps but I

feel like I'm doing all of the " thinking " for everyone. You know,

doctor's appointments, school sport schedules, etc. Does anyone else

get like this? I guess I've been facing the reality of RA and what

the future could really be. My head is spinning at the moment.

>

> Becky

I would suggest calling a family meeting. Describe how you feel, what

needs to get accomplished, and ask for help. Let them come up with

ideas. You may be surprised with the creativity and helpfulness that

emerges.

Sierra

March 1, 2004

Dear Becky,

I certainly understand how you feel. While I don't have any children

to care for, it sometimes feel like I still do have to do all the

thinking and remembering. My husband is really good, helps a lot,

very supportive, but still was expecting his dinner on Mondays when I

work, the only day I work. I finally had to say that I am NOT

cooking or doing anything around the house on Mondays. If he wants

to eat, he either has to cook it, or kill it and bring it home, I am

coming home and planting my butt on the couch and that's it! The

first week he didn't quite " get it " and he did fix dinner, but left

the dirty dishes. When they were still there at bed time, I yawned,

started up the stairs and casually reminded him that they wouldn't

put themselves into the dishwasher. Since then, Mondays have gone

much better, and since he is " dishwasher challenged " he usually goes

and gets something for us to eat.

You may have to go on strike, your kids and husband are well able to

cope for themselves, and they'd better realize that Mom needs all her

spoons to get through each day. Can you schedule one day just for

yourself, and tell them that this is your day, and that they are on

their own? I think my family finally realized how hard things had

become for me recently when I had a few days when I could not go up

and down stairs from bedroom to living room without help and it's

amazing just how much more understanding they are. Our families just

get so used to us being pillars of strength, they can't grasp it when

we're not.

I'll pray up an angel to comfort you,

Judi

March 1, 2004

Becky,....I feel like this all the time. It seems I have to do

everything, like more is put on me. My hubby is gone most of the

time, and it really is. I have a 9 year old at home, so it's hard

sometimes. It is hard to face the life of RA, you just have to do

the best you can. You shouldn't have everything piled on you, with

all the older ones in your house, I think they should help.

They need to understand what you are going through. Have you sat

down and had a talk with your family? You should let them know your

feelings, and how you just can't do things like you use to, and maybe

they will all take off some of your to-do list. Take care, Tawny

>

> I am feeling so overwhelmed lately with everything. I have 3

teenagers and a 21 year old and I can't seem to catch up with

anything. Maybe I need a good night's sleep. My husband helps but I

feel like I'm doing all of the " thinking " for everyone. You know,

doctor's appointments, school sport schedules, etc. Does anyone else

get like this? I guess I've been facing the reality of RA and what

the future could really be. My head is spinning at the moment.

>

> Becky

>

March 1, 2004

Hi Becky,

I would get that overwhelmed even if I didn't have RA.

That's a lot of work and doing.

In a previous marriage I used to do all of the work

and thinking, but did it voluntarily. I guess that I

didn't want to feel the dicomfort of letting them make

mistakes and learn from them. And it let me be more

in charge. Since the RA, I have slowly come to tear

that superwoman S of my chest and I actually let

things flow a bit more. Reluctantly, though. For me

that also means letting my husband make his mistakes

and pay for the consequences.

And now, I am so tired, that I don't have a choice

about it, even if I tried. And I have a mild form of

the illness. I guess what I am saying is that I

understand how hard it is. I work as a nanny and

often I have to do what you are doing. Difference is

that I get to go home. Have you thought of just

letting them do their thinking? They might surprise

you.

Take care, Jutta

March 1, 2004

Thank you. I am somewhat on strike since last night. I have only done for

myself and even this morning I refused to make my daughter's pony tail. She's

15, time she get it right on her own. I told her to have her dad do it and he

tried and messed it up. I said try again, like I do with my sore fingers

putting in that rubberband. He did and it was perfect the next time. He used

to do pony tails and pig tails all the time when she was little better than me!

I won't let him try a curling iron, though, my daughter learned the hard way on

that one. It's kind of funny this morning to see the look on their faces for

the littlest things they assumed I should do. One of my doggies needs ear drops

for her ear infection. I didn't put them in, didn't mention it. About an hour

ago my husband asked if she had her ear drops. I said no and walked away. He

put them in. I would never refuse my little doggie her medication. But it was

almost midnight last night when she got the drops so I knew I could wait until

noon to put them in if no one realized it. I think it's starting to sink in.

My 16 year old has been warned that I do not care to hear what he has to say

about house rules and consequences. I have been saying " it's not negotiable "

instead of arguing over and over with him. He hates it when I say not

negotiatable but is finally catching on. He only tried once this morning (no

school today) for the same subject he's been hounding me on. I gave him my LOOK

and said not negotiatable. I actually saw a look of fear in his eyes! I am no

longer planning or cooking dinner. The freezer is full (plenty of Schwan ready

made stuff too) and three teenagers and a 21 year old can find food when they

need to, only this time the have to set the table for everyone and make it for

everyone if they want to eat. I sent my husband to the store last night and

half the stuff he bought was wrong or not enough. I wanted a roast and he

bought a small one, enough to feed maybe 3 people. I just told him I guess we

won't have a roast until he buys more. He looked shocked, like he didn't get

it. He was out of toothpaste this morning. Guess he didn't read the grocery

list. It's not taking long for them to see where the organization and order was

in this house!

Becky

[ ] Re: Overwhelmed