Hubbies commitment key to wives' happiness

[Guest guest]

Hubbies commitment key to wives' happiness

http://www.news-medical.net/?id=16331

A study by University of Virginia sociologists W. Bradford Wilcox and

L. Nock finds that the single most important factor in women's

marital happiness is the level of their husbands' emotional

engagement -- not money, the division of household chores or other

factors.

The study also finds that women whose husbands earn the lion's share

of income, who don't work outside the home, or who share a strong

commitment to lifelong marriage with their husbands report the

highest levels of marital happiness -- in sharp contrast to academic

conventional wisdom, according to the authors. In addition,

perceptions of fairness matter for married women. Women who report

that the division of housework is fair are happier in their marriages

than women who think that their husbands don't do their fair share.

The study, " What's Love Got to do With It? Equality, Equity,

Commitment and Women's Marital Quality, " appears in the March issue

of Social Forces, one of the country's most highly regarded journals

of sociology. It draws on the National Survey of Families and

Households, which sampled more than 5,000 couples around the United

States.

A related unpublished study by Wilcox found that even women who

support egalitarian ideas -- those who think that men and women

should both earn income and share housework equally -- also are

happier in their marriages when their husbands earn the lion's share

of income and when they do not work outside of the home.

" Regardless of what married women say they believe about gender, they

tend to have happier marriages when their husband is a good provider -

- provided that he is also emotionally engaged, " Wilcox said. " I was

very surprised to find that even egalitarian-minded women are happier

when their marriages are organized along more gendered lines. "

The most important determinant of women's marital happiness is the

emotional engagement of their husbands. Most research on American

marriages has focused on the division of housework and paid work --

who does what inside and outside the home. The new study, by

contrast, shows wives care most about how affectionate and

understanding their husbands are, and how much quality time they

spend with their husbands.

Wilcox and Nock found that women are happiest in their marriages when

their husbands earn 68 percent or more of the couple's income.

Likewise, women who do not work outside the home report happier

marriages, and spend more quality time with their husbands. Finally,

women who have more traditional attitudes -- who believe, for

instance, that women should take the lead in taking care of the home

and family, and that men should take the lead in earning -- are

happier in their marriages, report more affection and understanding

from their husbands, and spend more quality time with their husbands.

Commitment also matters. Women who share with their husbands a strong

commitment to lifelong marriage -- who, for instance, think that

marriage is a " lifetime relationship and should never be ended except

under extreme circumstances " -- are much more likely to report that

they are happy in their marriages, and that they are happy with the

affection and understanding they receive from their husbands,

compared to women who do not have such a commitment to marriage.

Shared commitment seems to generate mutual trust and higher levels of

emotional investment on the part of husbands -- both factors which

promote marital happiness among women.

Fairness does matter in shaping the quality and character of women's

marriages. Married women are happier in their marriages when they

think housework is divided fairly and they perceive their marriage to

be equitable. They also spend more quality time with their husbands

when they think housework is divided fairly. But their perceptions of

fairness in this area are not consistently related to a 50-50

division of housework. Almost two-thirds of married women report that

they are happy with the division of housework; but most of these

women also do the majority of chores around the home. Either because

they have a traditional mindset or because they think their husband

is making important contributions as a provider or as a father, they

view an unequal division of chores around the home as fair.

" Conventional and academic wisdom now suggests that the 'best'

marriages are unions of equals, " Nock said. " Our work suggests that

the reality is more complicated. Wives are surely sensitive to

imbalances in routine tasks and efforts, as almost all research

shows. However, we find that they are more concerned with their

husband's investments in the emotional content of the marriage. We

interpret our results to suggest that partners need to pay more

attention to how their partners feel about their relationship and

about marriage generally because equality does not necessarily

produce equity. "

Wilcox is an assistant professor of sociology at U.Va. and currently

is serving as a resident fellow at the Institute for American Values

in New York City. Nock is a professor of sociology at U.Va.

http://www.virginia.edu